Thursday, December 27, 2012

Round 3 of Money Shot Bowl Mania

GUARANSHEED that this guy has never spent more than 8 bucks on a case of beer
So the big blizzard has come and gone and it was underwhelming.  Sure, we got about 3-4 inches (just like Mrs. Ace...COUNT IT!) but I was hoping for more.  I got home from work yesterday and was able to bust out the snowblower for the first time in way too long.  I didn't do it shirtless although I wanted to.  I was such a neighborhood beefcake that I cleared the driveway of the old widow across the street.  I didn't even demand a tug for my services.  I just did it because I'm a great person.  But you already knew that.  She did give me a huge tray of cookies which is about the last thing that I need now.  Maybe I should approach the tug topic after all.

OK, so Round 3 of our little Bowl Mania competition is today.  Round 2 games actually started last night and, as you will read later, we are still waiting on one black butthole's picks.  Here is this week's slate that takes us through New Year's Day.  The final round will be on 1/2.

GOB’s dummy Franklin Music City Bowl: NC State vs. Vanderbilt -7 – An SEC team playing a home game against a middling ACC team without a coach? Yeah, this is an easy choice. Vandy

Peter King “Respect the Sun” Bowl: Georgia Tech vs. USC -9.5 – I seriously think that this is a tough game to pick since both of these teams blow. The Jackets have that sweet offense and the Trojans are still coached by an asshole. You know what; I’m still firmly in the camp of “Fuck Matt Barkley”. GT

AutoZone Labia Bowl: Iowa State -1 vs. Tulsa – YES! Another game featuring two teams that I’ve never seen play EVER! I guess that I’ll pick the team that Todd Graham never coached because he is a baby dick. ISU

Chick-Fil-A Hates Fags Bowl: Clemson vs. LSU -5 – Is Jeff ready for another bowl crushing of his alma mater? Does Li’l Jacoby swallow as forcefully as Li’l Strut? Does Les Miles eat field turf? I remember early this year when Mel Kiper said that Zack Mettenburger was a Heisman dark horse. Hilarity ensued. Get ready to tell everyone at your New Year’s Eve party “Tajh Boyd Dead”. He's gonna pull the old Kevin Boss.  LSU

ListenToSlayer.com Hastings Bowl: Northwestern vs. Mississippi State -1.5 – I feel like Fitzgerald’s teams are always feisty in their bowl games. Whatever; here’s to hoping that the Big Ten goes winless. MSU

Fart of Dallas Bowl: Purdue vs. Oklahoma State -16.5 – There is a chance that this game is 70-0. I can’t think of any reason to bet on the Boilers. THEEEEEE OSU

Outblack Bowl: Michigan vs. South Carolina -6 – Did you hear that Denard may be converted to corner in the NFL? That’s probably the right call if he—whoops, never mind, Clowney gonna kill him and thus his future is not important. Gamecocks

Cap-Etoll One Bowl: Nebraska vs. Georgia -10 – How about that reference in the bowl title! Remember how the Huskers played in the Big Ten title game against a one dimensional team? This line should be at least 40. Georgia

Jeremy Rose Bowl Game presented by Rick Hartman: Wisconsin vs. Stanford -6.5 – I don’t think that they will win, but I like this game to be really close and Barry Alvarez to use some of his old Latino Heat magic (that he stole from Eddie Guerrero after he killed him--true story). There’s a reason why this spread is single digits and that is because people are thinking the same way as I am. Wisconsin

Discover Other Channels to Watch Orange Bowl: Northern Illinois vs. Florida State -13 – The MAC might not win a game this bowl season but that is NIU’s fault for breaking through the ceiling and moving all of our teams up a bid. This is either going to be a game that you turn off at halftime or the Huskies win at the gun. It’s more fun to bet the underdog. NIU

The standings after the first 7 bowl games:
6-1 – Nate B who I may have seen randomly staring at the front of his house on Monday afternoon
5-2 – Andrew The Mystery Man
4-3 – Iceman, Drew, and Buke
3-4 – Jeff, Li’l Strut, Prime, and JSaul
2-5 – G$, Brady, and Ide
1-6 – Seal, Grumpy, and Damman

Dut joined the party late; starting at round 2 because he is a busy man.  Ide still has not locked in his second set of picks.  He can still but he automatically loses last night's game.  Way to let down your race.  Tomorrow we will crown The Money Shot Man of the Year.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

Vandy
NW
South Carolina
Stanford
Clemson
Okie State
Florida State
Georgia
Tulsa
USC

Also, LOLZ at your reasoning for the MAC looking like dog shit so far. I guess the Big Ten fans can just say the same thing since most of them got bumped up two spots.

--Drew

Grumpy said...

Vandy
USC
ISU
LSU
NU
OSU
Cocks
Stanford

Grumpy said...

Oops!

Georgia
Seminoles

Nate said...

G$,

You are the Jerry to my Uncle Leo. You should have at least said HELLO

Vanderbilt
USC
Iowa State
LSU
Northwestern
Oklahoma State
South Carolina
Georgia
Stanford
Florida State






GMoney said...

It's not an excuse at all. It is a FACT. But we got our big victory last night (PIZZA PIZZA N*GGA). As the Big Ten has shown us though, money is more important than prestige and results so it looks like we're going to use that model.

If you don't list your picks in order, you automatically lose that game. LOLZ @ Drew. This is painful enough as it is, I don't need some rogue skidmark ruining shit. DO IT AGAIN!

GMoney said...

Nate, you seemed busy...uhhh...looking at something. Maybe the front of your house has all the answers when it comes to picking bowl games against the spread.

GMoney said...

Also: tomorrow's reveal of Money Shot Man of the Year is certainly going to piss most of you off so I will also be unveiling the first annual Commenter of the Year award. Oh yes, shit just got real up in here up in here.

You may want to make your final push today.

Anonymous said...

1-6! Not that it matters anymore but here goes.

Vandy
USC
Tulsa
LSU
NW
Okie St
SC
UGA
Stanford
FSU

Outstanding Jeremy Rose reference, although Buke, G$ an myself will be only ones who know/remember that great character. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRose!

-Damman

GMoney said...

Mrs. Dunbar gave me detention for constantly yelling out RRRRRRRRRRROSE during English class. I regret nothing. She was probably trying to seduce me.

Jeff said...

COMMUNISTS
CONDOMS
GOLDEN SHOWERS
YABO DABO DOO
FIGHITNING WILBON/GREENBERG
PURDONT
COCKSUCKERS (SOUTH CAROLINA TO CLARIFY)
CORNHOLES
B1G BCS REPRESENTATIVE*
CRIMINOLES


Ice Man said...

Vandy -7
GT +9.5
Tulsa +1
LSU -5
NW +1.5
OSU -16.5
SC -6
Georgia -10
Stanford -6.5
FSU -13

Ice Man said...

I bet it's a ton of fun attempting to decipher Jeff's picks every week. As if this bowl shit wasn't a big enough pain in the ass, leave it to a Steeler fan to make it even worse.

GMoney said...

Thank you for bringing that up. Jeff's fucking scavenger hunt is wildly irritating. I assume that Communists are the Commodores?

Jeff is the worst.

Also, I still haven't gotten paid from the people that are supposed to be paying for this so, yeah, good luck with that. No, we'll get it done. There will be a cash prize.

Prime99 said...

Vandy
USC
Tulsa
LSU
NW
OSU
GAMECOCKS
Georgia
Stanford
FSU

A caller on ESPN 1000 suggested the Bears replace Lovie SMIFF with "that college coach from OR-E-GON." I immediately got wood at the possibility, though Chip still seems set on the Chiefs.

GMoney said...

Would you want to deal with Catler and his litterbox every day??? Although Chip to Chicago might be the greatest thing ever for you.

Jeff said...

We're supposed to pay for this?!?

Maybe I should spend more time analyzing the games than coming up with stupid nicknames, damnit!

You would be correct guessing that COMMUNISTS are commodores. Consider guessing who I pick like a little game of "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?". My gift you, you're welcome. It does make sense and all since JEFF Foxworthy is the host of that show. He's a redneck and I'm a white trash Steelers fan and both of our jokes are as ELITE as Ide's alcohol tolerance

GMoney said...

You don't pay for this although maybe YOU should. Good analogy comparing yourself to Foxworthy though. That makes a lot of sense.

Did anyone watch the end of the Caesar Bowl? Boy, that was some horrible interim coaching by my boy, Lance Guidry. Terry Robiskie had to be shaking his head over that awful decision to go for it.

Anonymous said...

Vandy
USC
ISU
LSU
Northwestern
Ok. State
Souf Carolina
Georgia
UW
FSU

-Lil' Strut

Grumpy said...

We don't pay for this. I think G$ shills a post for the Mob and they pay for it.

At least I'm in good company at 1-6 with Seal and Damman. Well, at least with Damman. I know he's not an idiot.

Ice Man said...

Jeff Foxworthy > Commenter Jeff.

You should be ashamed of yourself, Jeff. Go eat Larry the Cable guy's cutoff flannel asshole.

Anonymous said...

Vandy
USC
Tulsa
Lsu
Nw
Osu
Michigan
Georgia
Wisky
Fsu

J Saul

ACE said...

I am joining the party late, but only to prove my dominance.

Vandy
USC
ISU
LSU
NW
OSU
UM
UGA
Stanford
NIU

Florida is ELITE right now. You are not. I might take Cowherds advice and stay in Souf Beach.

Brady said...

Here are my picks. Hopefully this continues my awful run of picking games on the Moneyshot.

Vandy
USC
Tulsa
LSU
Northwestern
OSU
South Carolina
Georgia
Wisky
FSU

GMoney said...

Ace, what are this week's BLAZIN' FIVE?

Brady, how did the weather turn out for you up there, you weirdo?

Anonymous said...

Rose & Rick Hartman references are ELITE! Its been about 15 years since I've heard the name Rick Hartman. LOL for atleast 10 minutes. Well done sir... here are my picks

NC State
GT
ISU
LSU
Northwestern
OSU
South Carolina
Georgia
Wisconsin
FSU

Buke

Anonymous said...

Vandy
USC
Tulsa
Clemson
NW
Okie State
South Carolina
Georgia
Stanford
Florida State.

In order cock gobbler.

I can't wait to win two awards here tomorrow!

--Drew

GMoney said...

The Best Toothy BJ Award is being presented next week. You are the only nominee.

Brady said...

BG ended up with 3-4 inches with some freezing rain thrown in for good measure. It was certainly a far cry from the 6-12 that was predicted. It did feel like a blizzard for most of the day with the wind though.

Anonymous said...

Brady,

BG must have gotten more of the brunt of the storm than Napoleon. Naptown only got about 1.5 inches. However, after looking at the radar, it would not suprise me.

-Lil' Strut

GMoney said...

Why don't you two just fuck already?

Anonymous said...

You guys are boring me with all the weather talk. I couldn't possibly care less.

Stan Stachak

Dan Cummins said...

I'm gonna rape you all.

Anonymous said...

Vandy
USC
ISU
LSU
MSU
OSU
UM
UGA
UW
FSU

Im awesome.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Vandy
USC
Tulsa
Lsu
Nw
Osu
Michigan
Georgia
Wisky
Fsu

Dut

Anonymous said...

Vandy
USC
ISU
LSU
OK St.
Miss St.
Georgia
USC
Wisc
No. Ill.

Andrew