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I’m not updating the standings since only two games from last week’s slate have been played. I’ll get to that during round 3. But before we get to the games, let’s talk about the “big” coaching hire in the Midwest Big East for a minute.
Wisconsin went and hired themselves Gary Andersen from Utah State to replace Pigman. I’m sure that he’s a fine coach but this is just another blah hire from the blah-est conference in the country. Why don’t they just do what they want to do and bring Barry Alvarez back full time? What they really need to do is get him to retire so that his big fat shadow can go away from the program and someone new can make that program their own. But that isn’t going to happen so the Badgers are just going to keep churning out 500 pound linemen and ignore that the game passed them by years ago. It might work out, but I doubt it. The Big Ten didn’t get any better yesterday. Now onto the next slate of bowl games (remember that you are picking against the spreads listed and ties go to the picker):
The Domino’s is Better Bowl: Central Michigan vs. Western Kentucky -5 – CMU is just an awful team with an awful coach. The Hilltoppers are being led by college interim coach extraordinaire, Lance Guidry AKA the collegiate Terry Robiskie. WKU
Terrorist Bowl: Bowling Green vs. San Jose State -7.5 – This is a very bad matchup for the Falcons even with the other Sparty not having their coach. That being said, I like the Falcons to cover. BGSU
What the Fuck is Belk Bowl: Cincinnati -7.5 vs. Duke – There is no way in Hell that I would ever bet on Duke football. UC
Holiday Rooo-oh-oh-oh-oh-ohl Bowl: Baylor vs. UCLA PK – Ooooooh, this is a solid contest. UCLA
Independence Dam Bowl: Ohio vs. Louisiana-Monroe -7.5 – Isn’t this cute? The two darlings of September get to decide who was the bigger fluke. I’ll make it easy for you: It was the Bobcats. ULM
Dut’s Boyfriend Josh Russell Athletic Bowl: Rutgers vs. Virginia Tech -2.5 – Frank Beamer fucking sucks. Rutgers
LOL Jerry Kill Bowl: Minnesota vs. Texas Tech -13 – This is just a terrible game. If you made me make a list of the top ten teams that I never ever want to watch play, the Gophers would be on that list multiple times. I also like the Red Raiders to play an excellent “Fuck you, Tommy Tuberville” game. TT Boy
The Armed Forces Bowl that no one will voluntarily go to: Rice vs. Air Force -1 – This isn’t a Glory Hole game, but I will consider it a “premium rewards card available here” game. Yeah, that was a stretch but hear me out. AFA is always a sick running team (ask Michigan) and Rice gives up almost 190 yards per game on the ground. I LOVE Air Force here and I've got some actual research and FACTS to back that up. AFA.
The Crown Jewel of Bowl Locations Pinstripe Bowl: Syracuse vs. West Virginia -4 – This should be a fun game, too. If there is one thing that you need to remember about WV, it is that they always make statements in bowl games. Right, Jeff? WVU
The Embrace Fat Asses Bowl: Navy vs. Arizona State -14.5 – Todd Graham seems like the kind of guy who would run it up on a service academy because he is a donkey raping shit eater. As someone who watched every second of the Army/Navy game, I must say that Navy is ass. The Sun Devils will cripple all of the Midshipmen with Hep-C by halftime. ASU
The Ala-homo Bowl: Texas vs. Oregon State -2 – Tough pick here. The Beavers are better but it’s a home game for the Horns. Whatever. Texas.
The Table-gating Bowl: Michigan State vs. TCU -2.5 – For as awful as the Big Ten is during bowl season, Sparty usually puts up a pretty good fight for the conference. Fun Fact: Teams that are 2.5 point favorites only covered that line about 30% of the time in 2011. I have no idea if that held true this year, but I don’t care. Michigan State
These are your games for this session. I know that I’m already 0-2. OVERRATED. Get your picks in and try to get some sleep tonight. It will be difficult since Iceman is putting on the Santa suit tomorrow. FYI, it’s ass-less. And apparently we're going to all die tomorrow so this is your last post ever according to some dumb Mexicans. Yeah, we'll see you tomorrow.