Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Round 1 of The Money Shot Bowl Mania

No turds in this family.  The patriarch won't allow it.
The end of 2012 is quickly approaching which means that it is almost time to name the 2012 Money Shot Man of the Year. This prestigious award, started two years ago, has been handed out to such terrific Americans like the two guys that ended Brett Favre’s career and the inventor of the Fleshlight, Steve Shubin. However, I’m going to need a little help with potential nominees this year. So if you want to nominate someone for Money Shot Man of the Year, leave it in the comments otherwise it’s just going to go to the guy that decided to reboot Boy Meets World.

Anyway, Mr. Ace (remember when he worked here…LOLZ!) started The Money Shot Bowl Mania 3 years or so ago and Iceman continued it last year. I’ll just assume that I’m going for a four-peat. I’ve decided to run it myself this time around because it saves me a day of producing original content which is always harder around the holidays (or “footballidays” if you are a chach). The games will be posted every Wednesday until bowl season comes to a conclusion some time in mid-May. The rules are easy: you pick against the spreads that are listed and leave your list in the comments. The winner is the big dong with the most correct picks (pushes count as wins because I’m feeling generous). The winning prize might be of monetary value but I’m not sure. I’m trying to lock up a guest post on the side that could net some bank but that does not matter to you worthless serfs. Anyway, my mini-breakdowns of teams and games that I know nothing about are below (along with my picks).

The Dan Gilbert New Mexico Bowl: Nevada vs. Arizona -10
My guess is that RichRod uses this game as a launching pad for a big, turd-free 2013. Cats -10.

The Marcus Holmes Potato Gun Bowl: Toledo vs. Utah State -10
Utah State is known for their defense. Toledo is known for point shaving and Lange. I like Lange though and I can’t bet on a team that lost a bowl game to The Ohio’s last year. Toledo +10

The Tijuana’s Hat Bowl: BYU -2.5 vs. San Diego State
The Aztecs are playing a home game basically and I despise Mormons. This pick is pure spite and Hoke lust. SDSU +2.5

The Beef O’ Commenter Brady Is Awful Bowl: Ball State vs. Central Florida -7.5
Remember when this was a MAC game that you ignored? Good times! The MAC is way better than Conference USA regardless of what Vergas says. BSU +7.5

The Broken Levees Bowl: East Carolina vs. UL-Lafayette -6
Wow…uh, give me the home team, I guess. ULL -6

What Used To Be The Las Vegas Bowl Bowl: Washington vs. Boise State -5
If Chris Peterson even flies to Wisconsin, I’ll eat my hat (FYI my hat is made of pulled pork). It’s always dumb to bet against the Broncos during bowl season but here I am, remembering that that Southwick guy is garbage. Huskies +5

RIP Aloha Bowl: SMU vs. Fresno State -12
Is June Jones still at SMU? I feel like he is. If so, this is his triumphant return to Hah-VUT-ee! “That should be fun”—no one FSU -12

Round 1 of this little sexy bitch is a quick 7 picks. Obviously, it will get fast and furious over the next two Wednesdays. One might say that it will become 2 Fast 2 Furious. But I won’t because that is a horrible pun. That’s it for today so submit your picks and Man of the Year suggestions. This time…IT COUNTS!

39 comments:

MuDawgfan said...

Man of the year should go to the guy who created Nickelodeon's "GUTS" and "Legends of the Hidden Temple"

Those shows were the fucking clams.

GMoney said...

Salute Your Shorts was the best Nick show of all time. NO ONE DENIES THIS!

I can't root for Kevin Youkilis. I just can't.

Jeff said...

Yooooooooooooooooooooooook!!!

Good call on Salute Your Shorts. I'll go even further to suggest that Donkey Lips was the best Nick character of all time.

I think the winner of this challenge should get a piece of the Aggro Crag.

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Ice Man said...

Arizona -10
Utah St. -10
BYU -2.5
Ball St. +7.5
Cajuns -6
Boise -5
SMU +12

Anonymous said...

Javon Belcher. Doing God's work by trimming down the right part of the population.

Jeff said...

Fighting Dickies
CockRockets
Polygamists
Ballz Deep
Ass Pirates
UDUB
Mustangangnam Style

Anonymous said...

Zona
Toledo
SDSU
Ball
ECU
Boise
SMU

Man of the year - Ron Jeremy. We have random awesome porn posts on here, with incredibly hot teen porn stars, and this fat sloppy fuck still to this day gets to bang a lot of them. That guy is fucking awesome.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Arizona
Utah State
SDSU
UCF
ECU
Boise St.
SMU

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Man of the year either Urban Meyer or myself.

Arizona
UTSU
SDSU
UCF
ULL
Washington
Fresno State

--Drew

Prime99 said...

Man of the year: Chip Kelly (it's doesn't matter if you give it to him- he's taking the award either way!)

NEVADA-RENO
JOHNNY UTAH STATE
SDSU
BALLS STATE
ULL
BOISE STATE
FRESNO STATE

Anonymous said...

AZ -10
TOLEDO +10
BYU -2.5
BALL ST +7.5
UL Laf -6
Boisie -5
SMU -12

Man of the year Jim Tressel for preventing us from watching another embarrassing NCG.

- J Saul

GMoney said...

Urban Meyer and Drew have a better shot at winning the other Money Shot site's Men of the Year.

In case you didn't know, we also share the same name with a gay porn site because why wouldn't we.

Someone post the DEETS of this Reds/Indians/DBacks trade so that we can laugh at its pointlessness.

GMoney said...

Jeff, I could argue that Kevin "Ugg" Lee was the best character on that show. Sponge was the worst. Budnick had the best hair ever.

Prime99 said...

I know Jason Donald went to the Reds and on paper it looked like the Indians got the best deal. I refuse to find out the rest of the details.

Anonymous said...

All you need to know is that in a span of 3 days, the Indians have added the 2011 AL Leader in Strikeouts and the 2011 NL Leader in Strikeouts. LOLZ @ Slow Seal, Damman, Brady and any other fools. You guys should start looking into which pitchers have given up the most home runs and add them to!

--Drew

GMoney said...

And I wonder this:

If Trevor Bauer is so great then why did the D-Backs give him away for a second rate stripper named Didi Gregorious?

With Stubbs, the Indians have FINALLY replaced Grady Sizemore with a healthier and worse version!

Anonymous said...

Why does anyone even care? Its a pointless trade. Choo wasnt great - he was ok. He had one year left with Boras as his agent and everyone knew he wouldnt resign, so go try and get atleast something for him. No one is saying they hit the jackpot in this trade. They got a good glove/base stealer and a .250 hitter in Stubbs - which equals nothing spectactular. The Indians front office is trying to make cleveland fans excited about Bauer but to G$'s point, if he was so incredible, why would Arizona let him go? It was a trade where a bunch of mediocre players went differnt places. We fucking suck and will be just as bad next year with the starting rotation we have predictied in 2013. FATdrubal is next to go...

The Tigers just got swept again.

Seal

GMoney said...

I just overheard two Reds fans talking about the trade and the current state of the team and I swear to God this was an exact quote:

"Well, we just re-signed Broxton Miller to be the closer."

BROXTON MILLER! His BB/K ratio would be 4000/1.

Seal makes great and hilarious points.

Nate said...

Arizona
Utah State
BYU
Central Florida
ULL
Washington
SMU

Anything on Nickelodeon with Mark Summers on it.

Anonymous said...

"The Tigers just got swept again." -- OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...YOU GOT ME SO FUCKING GOOD! DERPA DERPA!

--Drew

Brady said...

Arizona
Utah St.
SDSU
Central Florida
East Carolina
Boise St.
FSU

Happy Trails, Choo. We'll always remember you for that one good season you had.

Anonymous said...

I resent this day turning into baseball talk in fucking December.

Person of the year no doubt goes to the one and only WALTON GOGGINS. Boyd Crowder, tranny, and slavemaster in Django Unchained. That is pedigree gentlemen.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Derpa Derpa? Really? Are you grumpy's dad?

Sorry, the Tigers reference was old... maybe we should talk about how the Browns have a better record than the Lions after 13 games?

Seal

GMoney said...

Brady, will you be attending the Beef O' Commenter Brady is Awful Bowl?

Reds signed Jack Hannahan today as well. Nothing better than loading up on Tribe scraps to get you over the top!

Grumpy said...

Arizona
Toledo
SDSU
Ball U
ULL
Boise
Fresno

Grumpy said...

Man Of The Year: Jax Teller

Prime99 said...

Am I the only one going against DickRod? Wolf pack!!!!!!!!!

Brady said...

If the Moneyshot wants to foot the bill and send me as its' official Beef O' Brady correspondent then yes, I will attend.

Don't talk about Jack Hannahan that way. He leads the league in bald spots and meatheadedness.

GMoney said...

Jax Teller has no chance at this because he is pretty much the worst person on earth. And that show sucks now anyway.

Grumpy said...

Because of your bias against Jax I deserve a second nomination.

I nominate Iceman.

Anonymous said...

Arizona
UT
SDSU
UCF
ECU
Nord! (Warshington)
SMU

Buke

GMoney said...

Iceman for MSMotY???

My head just exploded. Don't say things like that.

The Iceman said...

That's the smartest thing Grumpy has ever suggested. It should be me. Or the HarBRAHS.

Anonymous said...

Late post for posterity!

Arizona
Utah St.
SDSU
Ball so hard St.
ULL
Boise St.
FSU

Ide

Anonymous said...

Nevada +10
Toledo +10
BYU -2.5
UCF -7.5
ULL -6
Boise St -5
SMU +12

Andrew

GMoney said...

Damman:

Arizona
Toledo
SDSU
UCF
ECU
Boise St
Fresno

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