Thursday, December 13, 2012

Bo Knows This Blog

That tiger poster is terrific.
For all the crap that Bill Simmons gets on the internet (and almost all of it is justified…I mean, seriously, no one wants to read 10,000 words about some pointless milestone that a Colorado rapist hit last week—that same guy couldn’t even beat the Cavs the other night!), the one great thing that he did give us were the 30 For 30 documentaries. I love these. I think that most of them are terrific. The most recent one about Bo Jackson had me smiling for almost the entire 90 minutes.

I’m not sure if we’ve ever properly discussed Bo Jackson around here outside of his Tecmo Bowl prowess, but I can honestly say that that guy was almost everyone’s favorite athlete not affiliated with his own team. Who didn’t love Bo Jackson? The guy was probably the greatest overall athlete of the last—I don’t know—50 years or so. I thought that the documentary was great (and I know more about Bo than most people because I’ve read Bo Knows Bo by Dick Schapp twice and it remains one of my favorite books every). Here are some of my favorite things about this past Saturday’s documentary (and other stuff you might not know about Bo):

*Bo would fall asleep in the locker room before Auburn games while everyone else was going into roid rage
*Bo’s big superstition in college was that he had to bang his girlfriend the night before every game (true story)
*Chuck Klosterman has to have one of the most punchable faces on the planet. I hate him so much. His voice sounds like Norm McDonald doing a Tarantino impression.
*He blamed Tampa Bay for getting him kicked off the Auburn baseball team and told them to fuck off when they took him #1 in the Draft. That. Is. Awesome.
*I liked the Tecmo Bowl reference and thought it was great the way Bomani Jones explained why he only got one play.
*That dislocated hip robbed us of what could have been something truly great.
*I remember exactly where I was when he got hurt: at the Grand Canyon waiting to see the Harlem Globetrotters make their Napoleon debut.
*Bo clearly knows food these days.

Anyway, it got me thinking about some 30 For 30’s that I would like to see eventually. That is also the topic for today’s post:

What event/team/player/incident would you like to see a documentary made about? I have a handful that I think would be terrific.

*2004 Olympic Men’s Basketball Team – This team was a disaster from the start and embarrassed the entire country
*The Kobe Rape Trial – He would never participate in that but this would make for an incredible documentary
*The Baylor/Dave Bliss Murder Fiasco
*What the fuck happened to LeBron in that Celtics series
*A Day In The Life of Chip Kelly
*The Fall of Tiger Woods

So let’s do ESPN’s job for them today and start filling program time for them. Or if you want to talk about how awesome Bo Jackson was, that is fine, too. Either way, Chuck Klosterman is still a queerbate. And if you didn’t get your picks in yesterday, don’t forget to make them today if you want in our little bowl pool.

56 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh God, I would pay to see that LeBron show. That eould be the most epic hour of television ever. No way that will ever happen. Its funny that no one in NY has the slightest clue about any of that stuff.

Id like to see one on Albert Belle.

Ide

Grumpy said...

Kanye West and his leather skirt.

Anonymous said...

Delonte West and Lebron's mom

GMoney said...

One day, someone is going to do the LeBron story with or without his consent and it is going to be incredible.

Anonymous said...

An oral history (pun intended) would be very satisfying. I would love to hear the specifics of what happened in the locker room after game 2.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Arizona
Toledo
SDSU
UCF
ECU
Boise St
Fresno

One thing about the whole Tecmo Bowl thing about Bo, they said it was the original Tecmo Bowl but the highlights they showed were clearly from Super Tecmo Bowl. Bo was in both I believe, but I didn't like the inconsistency as Super Tecmo Bowl was a HUGE part of my childhood.

Ide nailed it. An Albert Belle 30 for 30 would be outstanding. That guy was entertainment gold for about a 15 year period.

-Damman

GMoney said...

I just thought about this one:

Ric Flair. He would do it because he owes the government something like 80 years worth of back taxes and his life has been nothing but alcohol, figure fours, and nasty cooze. There is no way that anyone could tell his story in less than 4 hours though. I would love every second of it.

Anonymous said...

I've only watched half of the Bo doc, but I've got the rest on my DVR. I definitely should try to finish that tonight...was too busy watching Buckets outscore Savannah State in the 1st half last night by himself.

But, this is a great topic for discussion G$.

Everyone shoudl get one homer pick (anything LeBron related for most of you)...but, there have to be other good national ones.

My homer pick -- An episode on the Detroit Pistons Bad Boys. Lots to discuss about just how good they were...how much other teams hated them....them finding Rodman in the Palace parking lot sleeping with a shotgun in his lap...and how much they hated each other (Isiah broke Laimbeer's nose with a punch during a practice). That would be a very good one I think.

Others...

Roid Era in baseball with Sosa/McGwire as the back drop.

ESPN -- OVBZ this one would never happen, but I'd like one with all of the dirt behind the scenes at ESPN. The arrests, who's fucked who, stories of betrayal, etc.

UNLV basketball in the 90's -- There could be lots of good stuff about these teams and Tarkanian.

Gays in pro sports -- There is at least one really, really famous pro athlete that likes him some cock and hasn't come out of teh closet. I would like him to come out and then tell us who else is gay. Then RGIII can come out and carry the flag for the rest of them going into the future.

Gary Bettman -- A documentary just listing all of the incredibly dumb shit he's done as a commissioner with people giving examples over and over. This would make me happy.

I'm gonna try to think of more.

--Drew

The Iceman said...

That Bo Jackson 30 for 30 is one of the best things I've ever seen. I love how the new head coach at his high school thought he was the black grounds keeper when he first saw him. That's ELITE 80's racism right there.

Bo's hatred for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers was tremendous. His response to his agent asking him if he wanted to play football again was hilarious. "Well that depends. If it's Tampa Bay you can tell them to shove it." The only thing that would have made that better is if Dilfer was quarterbacking Tampa at the time.

I want to see a 30 for 30 about the Bad Boys during Detroit's back to back championship run. Even if you hate the Pistons you know you want to see that.

The Iceman said...

Damn it Drew! Beat me to it.

Nate said...

30 for 30 should tell the story of the small town math teacher with a big time finger roll...

MuDawgfan said...

Three immediate ideas:


1. The best part of the SMU Scandal "Pony Express" doc was the talk about how all these stud players were getting offers for cars and shit. So do a whole documentary on dirty recruiting. Football, basketball, mens and womens...whatever.

2. The filthy dirty scandal ridden world of professional boxing needs to be exposed. Get Don King and all those assholes together and do a doc on all of the shady deals.

3. The life and times of Akili Smith.

GMoney said...

Drew, HBO did a doc on UNLV and Tark a few years ago. It was very good. They ran it around tournament time, I think. Tark's hatred for the NCAA is amazing.

The Bad Boys would be a good one actually because it would give the world a chance to see James "Buddha" Edwards. Actually, you know what...

They should do one with Isiah's tenure with the Knicks. It would end with his suicide attempt and blaming it on his daughter.

Bravo, Nate, that was a great reference.

I was just happy to see Bo being glorified since he is sort of a forgotten man these days but my God was he a sick specimen.

Prime99 said...

- Brad Muster: Against White Odds

- Jim McMahon: Throat Headbands Are Comin' Back!

- I'm totally in on Ric Flair's 30 for 30. As long as they play the promo from '88 where he references Hershal Walker. Best wrasslin' promo ever!

- Eric Montross: Whiteness Comparable To Brad Muster

- NHL Lockouts: How To Repeat The Same Mistake And Tank A Business

Since I did bullet points, I should throw in an LOLZ for good measure- LOLZ!

Anonymous said...

I actually wouldn't mind watching one on the San Antonio Spurs. I mean...they are boring...but, yet very intriguing for just how consistently good they have been for a whole fucking decade. That shit cray. There would have to be some good inside stories on them.

Learning everything we possibly could about Pacman Jones may also be fun.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Homer pick: I would love to see a 30 for 30 on the Toledo Rockets point shaving situation. I want to know how Gradkowski was rolling around campus in a new Jeep Cherokee every year.

I would notes watch a Bad Boys 30 for 30, but my number 1 would definitely be boxing. Such a shady yet spectacular sport. Anything on pro wrestling would be good too.

I don't know if thus is 30 for 30 material, but I would love to see a doc on some famous strip club and the amount of loot/baby making that goes down there. I know Broke touched on it a little, but I want the strippers perspective and want to know who drops the.most cash at the titty bar.

Anonymous said...

Prime...good one! LOLZ!

An episode with Floyd Mayweather Jr. would be pretty good. Lots of stuff to cover...

*His crazy Dad and Uncle's feud.
*His arrests.
*His crazy lifestyle of throwing money all around.
*Just how good he is.
*Some people calling him a pussy for dodging PacMan...others in his camp saying PacMan was the pussy. What really happened?
*His odd friendship with 50 cent.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Drew, a Spurs doc would be horrible until the part where Tony Parker banged Brent Barry's wife.

You know what, give me an hour on Chris Henry. I want to learn more about that dead pederast.

Anonymous said...

Nate- The finger roll would be a great 30 for 30!!

Ace- The UT point shaving scandal was the second thing that I thought of this morning. That could be a great story. Shaving points in athletics is the real American dream.

Has ESPN done a documentary on the 86 Mets? If they haven't, that could be really good. I would like to hear more about Doc, Darryl, and a team where every player (except Keith Hernandez) had hookers & blow around them all year. Watching the Red Sox lose never gets old either.

Buke

Anonymous said...

I have read Pete Rose's book and would love to see his story in a 30 for 30 episode.

The story of all the girls who got raped by rapistberger - from their eyes so they can talk about how small his cock is.

Anything about Ricky Henderson - that guy is awesome and is probably still playing in the minors.

Anything about last year's UK basketball team - the greatest college team of all time.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Georgetown basketball with Ewing, Freddy Brown and that enforcer dude who's name escapes me at present. It would be great to see the ELITE reverse racism on John Thompson in action.

I would like to see Jimmy V exposed just to kind of knock his halo off from where he's at now.

I would like to see a behind the scenes look at SEC football. That's got to be an epic twisted Faulkner tale there.

Anything on the ABA.

MuDawgfan said...

Mr. Ace touched on a little with his stripper suggestion but how about a documentary about professional jersey chasers, the sluts whose whole purpose in life is bang pro athletes at the hopes of getting knocked up so they have a free ride.

Just shame the fuck out of them and also good advice for up and coming athletes on how to avoid these cum dumpsters.

Brady said...

I loved the Ricky Henderson idea. I could watch original programming on him for days.

My homer pick would be the mid to late 90's Indians. How they never won a title with those teams is beyond me. Great, now I just pissed myself off for the rest of the day.

The Browns improbable push to the playoffs begins tonight. GO EAGLES!!!!!! I haven't been this excited for Thursday night football in awhile.

GMoney said...

Dawg, I think there is a book or something by Pamela Des Barres (I think that's her name) who was a big rock band groupie in the 70's and 80's. But I agree, jersey chasers need the spotlight.

Brady, it should be an Albert Belle doc. No one cares about Travis Fryman.

The '86 Mets is a great idea.

Seal, did you not enjoy the ESPN movie about Petey starring legendary screen actor Tom Sizemore? I'll answer that for you--no. Pete does have a reality show coming out with his huge-titted fiance called (no joke)...Hits and Mrs. I'd BET that 80% of the footage takes place inside a casino.

Mr. Ace said...

In light of the new Mo C article in deadspin, how about a Mo C 30 for 30. Where did he get all that goose? Why did he kill Sean Taylor? How much does a black market ak-47 cost these days. And how many sluts did he slay as a Fuckeye? Did Krenzel fingerblast dudes in the shower? So many questions.

Anonymous said...

Solid pun play.

A revamp to the jersey chaser story is needed. There was a story that ran a while ago about the NBA madame. Shaq was her biggest client. I'll try and dig it up.

Ide

Brady said...

I agree that Joey Belle would be the center piece but there were other great characters on those teams. Lofton and Manny had their moments.

Omar was quite the tail-chaser as well. My dad used to score seats 3rows above the Indians dugout and we saw Vizquel talking to a new broad almost every game we attended back in the day. They always seemed to be of hispanic descent though. I always wondered why he didn't use his powers for good and pull some All-American ass. Whatevs.

Anonymous said...

Strip um of their 2002 title too..?

"Cars were another—he owned three of them at a time, including a brand-new Cadillac and Lexus. "I was living the NFL life in college," he says. "I got paid more in college than I do now in the UFL."

Good read Ace.

- J Saul

GMoney said...

It's funny because he plays in the UFL.

Anonymous said...

LOLZ @ J Saul. He wants the 2002 title stripped...due to Clarett getting impermissible benefits...when Clarett was kicked out of OSU/banned by the NCAA for GETTING BENEFITS. LOL WUT? Somebody break the fucking news to the NCAA that the guy they kicked out for taking things...actually took things!

G$...The interwebs are abuzz that on First Take (i know...worst show eva) this morning Rob Parker slammed RGIII for not being black enough. His quote was something along the lines of "I just want to know if he's a brotha or a cornball brotha".

--Drew

Brady said...

Just read that excerpt on deadspin. Holy shit! I had no idea he was on his way to murder the dude he tried to buy off. Mo Clarrett is just full of surprises!

I still remember being at that Texas Tech game and wondering who the fuck this kid was (before the days of me raping the recruiting websites). Still one of the best RB's I've seen in person.

Prime99 said...

I want Tilt Season 2. Or Playmakers. Can we make either happen?

Mr. Ace said...

Drew, the only issue I have with that is Mo was banned because he was taking benefits while playing for the Fuckeyes, yet none of the wins he was involved in were vacated. But wins were vacated over the tattoos and what not with TP. That is all.

Rob Parker is the fucking worst cornball brotha ever.

Prime99 said...

Cornball brothers are actually pretty polite, articulate, and hard working. Javon Belcher was no cornball brotha, that is fo sho!

Anonymous said...

hahahahehe right, just trolling. Still doesn't make sense. Although every cheats, steals, and kills people, so whatever.

I think NCTV5 needs to do a 30 for 30 on the dark underworld of the '98 season betting scandal...Pete Rose Esq..

- J Saul

Anonymous said...

Ape....I believe them to be different issues. I think if it was just the tats and shit for those players...then they would have done the whole "repay the value" bullshit and everything would have been fine. The main reason the season was vacated was because the coach knew he was plying inelgible players during that season.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

As long as it would be as funny as 30 for 30: Without Bias. That was comic gold.

A lot of solid characters from the mid-late 90s Indians squad. Noted asshole Jim Thome, Manny, Joey Belle, and everyone's favorite rapist Jose Mesa! They should create a sitcom of Omar, Albert, Carlos, and Jose patrolling the Flats for trim back in the day. Bone Thugs can do the score.

Ide

Anonymous said...

We all know RGIII is more of a "snowball brotha" AMIRITE MONEY SHOT NATION?!?!?

--Drew

Anonymous said...

More like RG37! HEYO

Ice Man said...

"Anything about Ricky Henderson - that guy is awesome and is probably still playing in the minors"

100% correct on all fronts. Fun fact about me...I just rescued my sports card collection from my parents house. I was quite the Ricky Henderson collector when I was 12. I mean...literally around 500 Rickey Henderson cards including his rookie card in my stash. Also.....Chris Sabo. /hangs head in shame. I guess I was a sucker for rec specs back in the day. My older brother collected Bo Jackson and Jose Canseco while my younger brother collected Will Clark??? Not sure where that obsession stemmed from.

Grumpy said...

The enforcer on those Hoya teams was Michael Graham.

You can pick up an AK for between $700-$1,000 retail, less at a gun show.

Anonymous said...

Iceman we absolutely have that in common. He was my favorite player growing up (along wtih Barry Larkin) - and I had so many of his cards, including rookie cards. So funny to look back and wonder why the hell you liked some of those guys and why you collected certain players.

Seal

GMoney said...

I love how black people feel that other black people need to live up to some perceived level of blackness. I don't sit around the house complaining to the wife that Andy Dalton just isn't white enough for me. As if he is faux white because he doesn't even do his own taxes or some other nonsense.

RG3 is the fastest dude in the league...is that black enough for you?

Miami University is naming their new AD at 3 today. All Hail Grumpy!

GMoney said...

I lead the nation in Frank Thomas rookie cards. That was my BROTHA!

(and Robin Ventura...not as cool)

Prime99 said...

Don't get me started on my Andre Ware rookie card collection! I had them ALL!

Ice Man said...

This should be a future post. All the commenters email me or G$ and reveal who they collected back in the day. Then we rank from first to last who collected the best player or combination of players and why. Deal? Deal.

You may not say Andy Dalton isn't white enough for you...but you WOULD say that Jason Williams (Florida PG) isn't white enough for you. FACT!

Brady said...

"As if he is faux white because he doesn't even do his own taxes or some other nonsense."

This had me rolling on the floor for some reason. I'm totes going to start calling out my friends for not being white enough for me. That should keep me busy for the next week or so.

Ide, Bone Thugz doing the score is brilliant. I would order that 30 for 30 from the worldwide leader for everyone on my Christmas list.

Anonymous said...

Al Golden may accept the Badger job today...decision today.

My Cal sources just gave me some breaking baseball news that Josh Hamilton has agreed to a 5 yr deal with the Angels.

--Drew

Nate said...

Interesting names starting to pop up for Kent State job:

Paul Haynes
Mark Snyder
Luke Fickell

GMoney said...

No one would ever ask Luke Fickell to be their head coach.

Anonymous said...

I'm really hoping Kent State hires Fickell...and then he beats Miami next year.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

I just facebook messaged my ELITE card collection. My football quarterback card obsession is VERY topical. I had his rookie ACTION CARD!

Ide

Anonymous said...

Al Golden has turned down Wisconsin.

-Drew

GMoney said...

Everybody beats us. Except UMass!

GMoney said...

Christ, with the (stupid) way that the Angels and Dodgers are dropping money this offseason, the Yankees might be a mid-market team now.

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