So we bought a new water heater a few weeks ago. A water heater is the least fun thing to ever buy. I didn’t understand where our previous one needed replaced but the wife won that battle because I didn’t care enough to fight it. So we found out that some asshole had to come to the house and inspect that it was installed correctly. I usually have to be the one that lets these vagabond types into the house to do their work but I said that I wasn’t going to this time. She was. The guy came out and looked at it; no big deal. However, he did say that our gas pipes weren’t sealed 100% correctly which now has the little lady all worried. Here’s the thing though:
Inspector Gadget said that the seals on the pipes would never be an issue…unless the house was struck by lightning. If that were to happen then the Money Mansion and everything inside would be liquefied into volcanic magma in a matter of seconds. This is where the two of us differ and I am prepared to get divorced over it.
She wants to get it fixed and is going to have multiple companies write up estimates. I say “FUCK THAT SHIT”. Yeah, it would suck if we were unlucky enough to get hit with a bolt but I’m willing to take the risk. I’m not going to pay some shitheads to come out and LIGHTNING PROOF the house. I might as well buy cloud insurance. I’ll tell you what, “exploding” doesn’t sound like a bad way to go. It would be quick and painless. So I’m trying to put my foot down here and make her see that worrying about Stan Humphries and Steven Stamkos is pointless. To me, this would just be a tremendous waste of money.
Obviously, if you ever hear about a Columbus area house being lit up like Kane’s ring posts, well, that was us. And I demand an open casket. You must say goodbye directly to my sexy, gooey remains. The question is: What would you do if you were in my future evaporated shoes? Also--NEVER GET MARRIED.
A few other topics to discuss today if you are so inclined for even more discussion today:
*Did you see Mark Dantonio’s postgame conference this past week? He pretty much confirmed that he is the biggest asshole this side of the big muddy by NEXT QUESTION-ing everybody that wanted a quote. It was truly pathetic. I don’t get these college football coaches. What is the point of big-timing the media? Small dicks? Lane Kiffin won’t talk to anyone about injured players. Nick Saban wants everyone that writes anything to get Lou Gehrig’s Disease. It’s really annoying. We make fun of Les Miles and Brady Hoke around here quite a bit but at least they seem like good guys. I’ll take that any day over being a fuckstick and treating everyone like dirt.
*Baseball playoffs are comin’ yo! Are the Orioles finally playing like they should? Does anyone want to win the Central? Are the Indians doing the world a favor and handing the White Sox a first round series loss? Is Ichiro still being ELITE? Does anyone even remotely care about the National League? Is Miggy Walker Black still in the running for the Triple Crown?
That should do it for today. Plenty of excellent talking points to mull. I’ve got an open forum type post planned for tomorrow and then my annual birthday post on Friday. Trust me, you DO NOT want to miss Friday. I guarantee that it is the best thing you have seen on the internet this year.