Friday, September 28, 2012

The Proof Is In The Footing

See you in Canton, this picture!
Well, well, well...look what I was able to find!  Yep, that is it.  PROOF of the greatest kick in football history.  If you haven't been reading my great work since 6/5/2009, you might want to give this beauty a gander.  Let's break it down:

*First and foremost, Napoleon High School Football rules.
*Look at the loft of the ball.  That beautiful bitch got up in a hurry.
*Head down--you can't be a great kicker if you don't see what you're about to BOOT.
*Good arm swing provides the balance needed to execute.
*Check out that ELITE leg extension.  That's the sort of form that would give a Reggie Roby a black chub.
*Plant foot correctly lands next to the tee allowing for solid contact.
*Excellent hold by Big -Rex.  I would have preferred my usual holder, Buke, but he was an outstanding scab holder for this play.
*We may have been up 48-0 on Swanton (always AWFUL) at this time, but look at Pipes(?) selling out and murdering the edge rusher who was out to one up me.  That fucker got GOT and rightfully so.
*Dead solid perfect.  PAT converted by G$.

I know that you want to watch the video down the line (and I most definitely have it in my possession), but I just don't feel like you are ready for it.  Some day, perhaps, but not today.

In case you keep ignoring my subtle reminders, my 32nd birthday is on Sunday and She$ and I are flying to Seattle for a long weekend.  By the time you read this, I will be up in the air kicking some marshal's queer ass.  Columbus to Charlotte to Seattle...Charlotte to Seattle--there is no way that that flight won't suck butts.  I hope that they play 12 back-to-back episodes of The Big Bang Theory to make it even more of an ELITE flight!

But this is all you're going to get today.  My birthday post is more of a gift to YOU by bringing it strong with this terrific picture from 1998.  Admit it; this was better than you expected.  Iceman is running the show on Monday and Tuesday and I'll be back on Wednesday.  Behave yourselves.  Now if you don't mind, I need to join the self-Mile High Club.  Don't forget to wish ya BRAH a happy birfday.

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

At the airport now and it has already been an ELITE day:

She$ did not realize that there was a butter knife in her carry-on bag. You ever take a knife through airport security? Intense!

Also checked in and walked through security with Mr. Jay Bilas! I have no idea what he's doing in the Bus but I can confirm that he looks hilarious at 5 AM. Bilas!

--$

Grumpy said...

Straight on kick in the late 90's? Possibly the last in America.

Why Seattle?

Nate B. said...

Did you use the square toe boot?


I think letting you do the kickoff after the PAT would have been more entertaining.

The Iceman said...

Butter knife in the carry on? Why wasn't I present to watch that. Incredible.

Grumpy. Seattle is the home of Colin Cowherd. Do I need say more? You can probably see G$'s boner from Columbus.

Straight on was the only way. We even had the shoe with the snub nose on the end of it to represent the half foot. I know because I was like...3rd string kicker. (Demoted from 1st string kicker after firing several bombs into the back of my lineman) Was this your senior year or mine? And who is the guy fuckin LIGHTING UP the edge rusher?

Monday and Tuesday will be the 2 best days in the history of this site. FACT.

MuDawgfan said...

From the look of the kick to the block on the edge its clear to me that Napoleon High School just flat out plays fundamental football. No two ways around it.

Brady said...

Butter knife! That shit is hilarious. What the fuck is a butter knife doing in her bag?

/woman in kitchen joke

Congrats to the Browns on being the worst team in football. We couldn't have done it without your crippling interception, Weeds.

Anonymous said...

Seattle because I've always wanted to go there and wrestle bears (the animal and that hairy gays).

Nate, only practiced with the square shoe until senior year when I was too lazy to keep swapping boots. I learned how to kick bombs with my lineman cleats which is insanely impressive.

Ice, my senior year on senior night. I think it is Cordes on the end but he might have been the long snapper/male model.

Bilas was on my flight to Charlotte. He sits first class like a BOSS. I have now seen Garey Thorne, Scott Williams, and Jay Bilas in my last few trips to airports. Good times.

--$

Anonymous said...

And always bet on the Browns!

--$

Anonymous said...

Jay Bilas was in town to speak with/meet THE Ohio State University Men's Basketball team. Bilas is the man...even if he is a Dukie.

Best part of that picture is the insane block. G$ were you the Jared Lorenzen of kickers?

I'm headed up to East Lansing for the game this weekend. I honestly have no idea what to expect and don't think anybody really does....but, I'm excited for it.

I assume that everyone other than G$ is rooting for America in the Ryder Cup? Love the Ryder Cup.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Jared Lorenzen was the me of qbs. We also had SEC SPEED in common.

Six hour flight: no movies. Fuck US Air.

See you after 3, BRAHS!

--$

Nate B. said...

My guess is the coaches were smart enough not to put Buke at holder because we all know he would have called a "FIRE" regardless of the snap quality.



Anonymous said...

At first i thought this was a picture of Andy Reid in his punt, pass, and kick days.

Already an awesome start to the Ryder cup - with some heated arguements between Furyk and Rory/Mcdowell. "we have been friends for a long time, but i dont agree with you on that" -Furyk

USA USA USA!! Great sporting event.

Fuck Bilas and anyone from Duke.

Seal

Anonymous said...

I think there's a reason you only posted the picture of you kicking and not the ball going through the uprights! If I was a bettin man, I'd say that ball went wide right!

I bet against the browns last night to lose by 12.5. This franchise has never done anything good for me. Even with the loss, it is encouraging to see the defense play well and Trent Richardson is a BOSS. Call me crazy, but I don't think this team is that far off from turning it around. Alright, I'm crazy.

No mention of fister breaking an AL record yesterday? With 2 starters on their game right now (JV and fister), and potentially scherzer if he can fix his dead arm, I'm liking our chances in the playoffs. Might as well knock the Yankees out of the playoffs for the 3rd time since 2006.

Special thanks to the windians for holding up their end of the bargain.

I expect a low scoring game in east Lansing. Something like 17-13 with osu winning of course.

Dut

The Iceman said...

Now, now, Brady. Let's give credit where credit is due. Maybe if Greg Little didn't saw off his hands at the wrist the minute we drafted him last night would have been a little easier for Roger Goodel's son.

Prime99 said...

Unfortunately, I won't be making Iceman's version of a 2 hour drive up to Seattle to watch football with you, G$. Have fun though, and make you tell the people of Seattle how ELITE the call from Monday Night was.

Fantastic picture, but as mentioned, the block may come close to trumping your awesome accomplishment.

If you watch the replay of the last play from last night, you can see Art Modell Ghost-Dadding The Ginger's pass up and out the back of the end zone.

Jeff said...

Happy Bday ole $Bags!

Jim Rome said it best, "Greg Little has everything the Browns look for in a wide recevier, except hands"

I was the 3rd string punter in HS. I got one punt in a varsity game. About 35 yds. The only reason I told the coaches I wanted to punt was so I could come out early in pregame and dick around with all the "specialists", ELITE reasoning.

If Sparty lines up in the I and runs Bell 40 times off tackle, they will lose and lose big 31-13.

If they choose to spread out OSU and run Bell out of that formation they will have a better shot but still likely lose 24-17.

Ryder Cup is awesome. Presidents Cup is at Muirfield next year. I will be in attendance at one of the days.

The Iceman said...

How are you going to stop Bell in the I when everyone on the defense tackles as well as Denard throws, Jeff? ELITE question.

Grumpy said...

I'm betting that kick split the uprights.

Jeff said...

Everyone tackles like Denard throws "in space". Running between the tackles is not in space, which is why I said they would be more successful spreading them out.

Jeff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeff said...

Any more brain busters?

Anonymous said...

ICEMAN IS SO DUMB WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT COLLEGE FOOTBALL!

--Drew

Anonymous said...

"Nate B. said...
My guess is the coaches were smart enough not to put Buke at holder because we all know he would have called a "FIRE" regardless of the snap quality."

Especially if the point spread he had bet on prior to the game was in jeopardy.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

G$- Thanks for giving me some credit in your preparation for that kick. Those kicking sessions without helmets were definitely the highlight of the practice week. Happy birthday. Have fun in seattle and get a picture of cafe nervosa for Parrish.

I'm cautiously optimistic about the Buckeyes chances in East Lansing tomorrow. That being said, I'm optimistic because I don't think too highly of the B10 or sparty in particular.

The Ryder Cup is one of the best sporting events every other year and an excuse for Ide and myself to cheer for Tiger. U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Buke

The Iceman said...

That's what I get for skimming your comment, Jeff. Didn't see the second part.

Nate B. said...

Buke truly was the Pete Rose of his time.

Anonymous said...

A better picture would be of that Little League Molested Child pic of you on facebook. That picture was truly ELITE.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Pretty sure Pipes was the long snapper. That might be KP with the block? I've been looking into getting all our old VHS tapes converted to digital......this highlight will someday grace the internet.

Big -Rex

Anonymous said...

You wouldn't want to bet against that XP not being true and straighter than ten RG3's.

That flight sucked so so much.

--$

Anonymous said...

RG3 is a faggot. J-Rupe is dead!

Or he apparently deleted his facebook.

Ide

Mr. Ace said...

How's the rain?

Prime99 said...

On the bright side, you just traveled back in time 3 hours.

Facebooks cannot be deleted, only deactivated. They are the AIDS of the Internet.

Anonymous said...

I show J-Rupe as very much active. Perhaps he de-friended/blocked you, Ide. How embarassing is that? Time to re-asses your life when that happens.

-Damman

Anonymous said...

haha he blocked me. I was encouraging his destructive behavior very much towards the end of our brief but fruitful relationship. I feel like a part of me has died.

Ide

Prime99 said...

At least J-Rupe killed something.

Anonymous said...

Oh snap, Oregon/Mike Leach game tomorrow is at the seahawks stadium. I'm TOTES in.

I've told everyone I've seen so far that The Killing sucks and so did the Sonics.

--$

Prime99 said...

They probably all agreed with you on both counts.

Anonymous said...

G$- were any of them Shawn Kemp's kids?