Thursday, September 27, 2012

Pardon My (Fart Noise)

You're better than this, Carly Parker.  Eh, maybe not.
On October 22nd, Pardon The Interruption will celebrate it’s 12th anniversary as a cultural phenomenon. I remember when the show debuted back in the days of yore as a junior in college. It was unlike anything that ESPN had produced before. Two average looking dudes doing their best impression of ebony and ivory but talking about sports. They screamed more than most would like, but it was still a very entertaining 30 minutes of TV. I knew Tony from The Sports Reporters and while he’s a giant dork and apparently an asshole off camera, I liked him a lot (plus his radio show was OUTSTANDING before ESPN replaced him with Pete Carroll’s bottom bitch—GOOD CALL, AGUATTO). I didn’t know who Wilbon was at all but he seemed intelligent and well spoken so I was OK with him.

Throughout the years, the show has basically remained the same. You can tell that they still like each other. Stat Boy was given an actual name much to the dismay of the viewers. They took more vacation time than George W. Bush (BURN?). The guest hosts blow but the show remains watchable to this day. I rightfully got made fun of last week for watching Around The Horn and admitting it. I deserved that. The show has never been any good. But I will not apologize for still watching PTI daily. PTI isn’t perfect, of course, because the guys are more complacent today than they were when the show was just getting off the ground. So I have no problem saying this because it is 100% true:

Michael Wilbon fucking sucks. He has for a long time now. Tony is still the same old white grumpy guy that we know and love, but Wilbon has morphed into this condescending shit bird that likes nothing and hates everyone. Maybe I’m being a little hard on the guy because he hates the Redskins, Dan Gilbert, and the Yankees—but that’s not entirely it. He acts like sports are beneath him now; like he’s too good to cover anything but the NBA. And that’s not what made PTI so popular a decade ago. The original dynamic of the show was sort of old school vs. new school but it is now old school vs. militant black guy (see: Take, First) and that is an ASS format for anything.

It’s not like I’m going to stop watching the show or anything. Name a better program on at 5:30 than PTI and I’ll watch it. I just want it to be noted that Donovan McNabb’s boyfriend is ruining what once was great because he is a bitter old doucher. One more time, Mike Wilbon fucking sucks. Speaking of sports media, I’ve got a few more thoughts to get off my washboard abs:

*Have you actually seen Brad Nessler in the booth? The next time that they do an in-booth shot of a game he is calling, take a close look. Both Mayock and Taste of the Todd have to sit down because Nessler is apparently 3 feet tall. I am 100% certain that Brad Nessler is a golden-voiced troll. It is hilarious.

*Do not watch Sean McDonough in high def. It looks like he uses battery acid for shampoo. His scalp appears to be identical twins with Norv Turner’s cheeks. It is mortifying.

*Despite the ridiculous lisp, Mike Mayock is ELITE! Yeah, he sounds like a total pillow-biter but the dude KNOWS football. He makes Notre Dame games worth watching (even after Hines Ward being terrible before the game and at halftime). I think that I would rate Mayock as the best color commentator in the business.

*That being said, I still think that Kirk Herbstreit great despite what you fags think/call into radio shows.

*By the way, I LOVE the Browns +13 tonight.  LOVE THEM.  So many reasons: classic letdown game, the Ravens are old, beating the Pats meant everything to them, Torrey Smiff fall-out, and there is not enough time for Pat Shurmur to put in a horrible game plan.  Ravens 16, Browns 10.

I’m going to be in Oxford for most of the day to move some heavy furniture for my parents, drop the dog off for them to watch over the weekend, and demand some sort of birthday present so I’ll be in and out today. As I mentioned yesterday, tomorrow’s post has the potential to be the best ever and allows this blog to come full circle. Confused? You should be as you are not on my intellectual level. Out BRAH.

23 comments:

Grumpy said...

Wilbon is the best, after Mr. Tony.

Grumpy said...

Wilbon is the best, after Mr. Tony.

GMoney said...

Wilbon is the best, after Mr. Tony.

Except for when he's the worst which is all the time now.

GMoney said...

LaDainian Tomlinson, on Mike and Mike right now, just called the Falcons ELITE. I don't believe that he is any position to use that word unless he's one of those anonymous commenters around here.

Anonymous said...

I don't like Wilbon. Hard to believe that show has been on 12 years, and served as the inspiration for this boards banner (not so subtle plagiarism).

Ide

Anonymous said...

I don't trust a man that likes to loudly announce that he's never drank alcohol (Wilbon).

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Whoa whoa fucking whoa. PTI did not serve as inspiration for this sites banner. The banner was meant to be a last supper of the worst people in sports, all giving praise to Fuckeye Terrorist. There were too many horrible ppl in sports to turn down. Slow your fucking roll.

Now that I have cable, which still fucking sucks by the way, I watch PTI and Around the Horn a couple days a week. It's not elite, but I will always like Tony. I have grown to not like Wilbon for all the reasons G$ stated. But seeing some of the people he takes pictures with makes me wonder if he isn't the coolest man in the world. And without Mariotti's douchebaggery ATH just isn't fun anymore.

Nobody loves a Browns betting line. NOBODY.

Jeff said...

Sports nation is the best show on the "ESPN Family of Networks" in the afternoon....

LOLZ who am I kidding, it has got to be Around the Horn. Who doesn't like listening to the insightful banter of Jackie "I'm a woman so what could I possibly know about sports" MacMullan, Bill "Lisp" Plashke, Kevin "I'm trying to pull off the wealthy black man look, but we all know blacks aren't wealthy" Blackistone, and Woody "Pass me the scotch and I'll write another awesome joke on my preschool chalkboard" Paige

Redskins said...

I like Wilbon! Great show

Anonymous said...

Forgot to mention........

WINDIANS!!!!!!!!!

--Drew

Prime99 said...

Stat Boy and Kornheiser are both ELITE if for no other reason than the first name they share...

Wilbon is a self-hating Chicago fan. If you guys know who Ray Ratto is, he's the white, obese version of Wilbon who hates sports even though its his job to cover them. Just awful to listen to.

G$, didn't you also love the Rams this past Sunday?

Prime99 said...

Hey, the refs are back. I can't wait until they blow a call and everyone hates them again. Hoculi's quote about immediately doing push ups when the deal was done is hilarious.

MuDawgfan said...

Good Brad Nesseler story: Apparently he is an absolute horrible father.

His daughter use to attend the high school where my father is an assistant principal. She cut class so many times that he had to call all three of them into his office to discuss the problem. Long story short, Nessler and his dulcet tones talked my old man into reducing the punishment to three saturday schools and immediate probation if it happens again.
At the end of the semeter, they transfered her to the all girls school and now apparently attends Valdosta State (horrible school).

MuDawgfan said...

Good Brad Nesseler story: Apparently he is an absolute horrible father.

His daughter use to attend the high school where my father is an assistant principal. She cut class so many times that he had to call all three of them into his office to discuss the problem. Long story short, Nessler and his dulcet tones talked my old man into reducing the punishment to three saturday schools and immediate probation if it happens again.
At the end of the semeter, they transfered her to the all girls school and now apparently attends Valdosta State (horrible school).

Jeff said...

Brad Nessler sounds like an ELITE father which and ELITE voice.

Jeff said...

*with

The Iceman said...

Lot of ELITE double posts today. Way to set the tone, Grumpy.

Jeff, I love your nicknames as much as G$ loves losing money betting on the Browns tonight. Well done.

Speaking of terrible...the Browns will be down 21-0 at half. I've been watching Browns football long enough to know that this is more realistic than Cleveland keeping it within 1 score.

I heard the same LDT bit on the radio this morning G$. I could also hear Mike Greenburg's 4 alarm raging boner coming through the speakers. Good God! Clean yourself off already. I personally loved how Greentwat wouldn't shut up about how "GREAT" LDT is on the NFL network after listening to him fucking butcher the grammar in almost every one of his breakdowns during the interview. Yeah...he's great if you're black or retarded.

Anonymous said...

Tomorrow's post better live up to these lofty expectations that were set, because it sucked here today.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Just another blown save for Valverde is progress right now...

Seal

Anonymous said...

actually they dont even trust him enough to bring him in for the save anymore so Benoit got to blow todays save. No one from the Central should be allowed to be in the playoffs.

Seal

Anonymous said...

G$ I agree. I still record PTI, for some reason it is the only show I can listen to sports opinions on. Probably because they can only talk for 1 minute on each topic, which is about as much analysis as most sports topics need. I truly can't listen to anything else without wanting to blow my head off.

But its true about Wilbon, he's become pompous. Loves hating on 'the man' with a passion. His latest hate for the NFLers on 'Park St' has just been hilarious.

I think we don't like him because he's an arrogant outspoken black man. I dare you to name someone who fits that description that you like?

- J Saul

Prime99 said...

Anyone see South Park last night? Their impression of Rome had me cracking up for at least a minute- check that- two minutes- check that- five minutes.

GMoney said...

Hi everybody! What did I miss? Oh Manny Acta got fired? Just another minority collecting unemployment, eh, Ide?