Thursday, September 13, 2012

Notre Dame Flies South; Still Awful

Back up on that scissor-lift, pumpkin dick.
As we all learned yesterday, Notre Dame finally did it. They finally did what everyone wanted them to do and joined a conference. Those high priests finally put down Jerry Sandusky’s autobiography and stepped into the 21st century. What a relief it is to see them get with the times and hop aboard the SEC. Oh, it’s not the SEC? My bad, the Big Ten then! Not the Big Ten either, how about the Big 12? It has to be the Big 12, right? Wait, they joined the ACC? And they didn’t even include becoming a football member? So basically you’re telling me that nothing has changed except that they are moving from the Big East to the Atlantic Coast? Awesome.

What the fuck? Notre Dame infuriates me as a sports fan and if they don’t piss you off then you should stop coming here. Somehow, the Irish managed to get the ACC to give them full access to all of their potential bowl tie-ins just by giving them a scheduling promise of 5 games against their members per year. That fucking sucks. If I’m reading this right, a good Notre Dame team (LOL!) can potentially kick the ACC champ out of the Orange Bowl. STOP GIVING THESE ASSHOLES WHAT THEY WANT ALL THE TIME. I think that that is what bothers me the most. The Irish have been worthless at everything for over two decades and still get to call their own shots. It really is a sweetheart deal for the Irish:

*They can steal the Orange Bowl bid whenever they qualify and keep all the money for themselves..or not...I have no idea if this is true although initially I did.  I will just assume that it is since it would be a very Brian Kelly thing to do
*If some sort of further dramatic shift happens in college football involving playoffs and conferences happens, they can just hop into bed with the conference
*The Big East was dying anyway
*While academics will always be an issue hard to overcome, they just opened themselves up to a ton of exposure from Atlanta to Miami and that hotbed of recruits
*Brian Kelly is a total shit heap but the asshole will take advantage of these newly opened doors
*Brian Kelly is a murderer and rape ignorer who should fit right in with The U, Florida State, North Carolina, and Jeff Bostic’s daughter.
*They can still get fucked with that bullshit NBC deal for the rest of time.

All the while, the ACC gets a big name and national TV exposure five times per year that they will surely not take advantage of due to poor coaching and talent league-wide. I may hate it because of the parties involved, but everyone wins here. And that sucks.

Also from South Bend, and I haven’t talked about this yet even though the story is a few weeks old, that whole Allen Pinkett thing was/still is hilarious. Yes, that is what every team requires, AP, CRIMINALS! Pinkett must live in a world where Steve Walsh’s Miami Hurricanes still exist because having a bunch of thugs on your team almost never works and hasn’t for years. Pinkett is an idiot. Did he forget who he works for? Criminals and thugs at Notre Dame? Maybe on the coaching staff, but not on the field, buddy.

In conclusion, I hate Notre Dame. I always will. If you do not feel the same way then we can never be BFFs. As I’ve mentioned countless times, conference pride is for fags but when the Irish head to Lansing on Saturday (or the following week when they play Denard), it is perfectly acceptable to root for your conference foes to beat them by a 100. Running up the score (still douchey and always will be) is also perfectly acceptable to do against Brian Kelly because, you know, he’s a murderer.

By the way, I just sort of skimmed through the DEETS of this deal so if I'm forgetting anything juicy (I heard that the conference was trying to push through a 50 million dollar buyout if anyone tries to leave) then let me know. If not then fuck the Irish.

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hate ND with a passion. Why everyone is always trying to suck their balls is beyond me. Do they really have that much cachet?

Also, where's the discussion/love for the Sons debut? Seemed like a pretty wild opening show.

Anonymous said...

Ditto on SOA. Wow.

I have hated ND ever since I can remember. Well before hating any other team in an any other sport. Perhaps because in the 80s my mom would routinely say "Lou Holtz is an asshole" and it always seemed that the worst people in school wore ND clothes to school.

My hatred for ND even forces me to hate that movie Rudy. I don't give two fucks how good of a movie it is. That guy was a retard and that movie blew dicks.

Fuck ND.

Ide

GMoney said...

Today is The Iceman's birthday or so it seems. J-Rupe was quick to wish him well on FB if you are scoring at home. I suggest that none of us follow Rupe's suicidal lead.

Can someone (Drew) clarify the bowl tie-in thing since I am CLEARLY confused by it. ND can't get the Orange Bowl bid now but can steal any other ACC bid for themselves? Is that right?

GMoney said...

As far as SOA goes, having a biker watch his daugther get burned alive was ELITE. It doesn't compare to Peg Bundy holding a gun to a baby's head but it's close.

The guy that play Opie did one of those Q&A things at Warming Glow yesterday and my two favorite questions that were asked to him were:
1. Are you getting the new iphone5?
2. Who would you start this week: Matt Ryan or Joe Flacco?

The internet is the best.

Grumpy said...

Anyone ask Mike Brey how he feels?

SOA was off the hook!

Anonymous said...

Grumpy just said "off the hook", in case anyone missed it.

Seal

MuDawgfan said...

"While academics will always be an issue hard to overcome, they just opened themselves up to a ton of exposure from Atlanta to Miami and that hotbed of recruits"

Only point I disagree with. Just because the Irish play a couple of games a year in ACC country doesn't mean they are going to raid those states of recruits. Talented players know exactly who Notre Dame is and they still don't have a prayer of signing them.

Anonymous said...

G$...I believe your last comment is what the deal is. It will be hilarious when the ACC coaches get real pissy after ND steals a better bowl from tehir team...after only playing 5 games. What a horseshit deal.

As for who I'm rooting for. I hope MSU lays a hundred on the murderer and his team this weekend....but, I'll be rooting for the murderer to destroy Michigan next weekend.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Dawg, I'm not saying that he's going to raid all of those dumb studs from the Souf...just that the door is open now.

Mike Brey is a Coach K disciple. No one cares how he feels and rightfully so.

Grumpy is no jive turkey.

The Iceman said...

Rupe was almost the first to wish me Happy Birthday. It's what will keep me going today.

I've never seen a single episode of Sons of Anarchy. It seems like a show that women dressed in leather driving 80s styles Camaros would get into. "JAX IS SO FUCKIN HOT!!"

Notre Dame can suck a nutty poop log. Their fans are almost as bad as buckeye fans. ALMOST.

GMoney said...

I'll say this about Fuckeye fans:

At least they don't think that Jesus is their #1 fan. Satan probably; but not Jesus.

Anonymous said...

G$...I think the Easter Bunny is our # 1 fan.

--Drew

Prime99 said...

I can't possibly give any fucks about the Dame, TD Jesus, or Brian Kelly's ELITE murdering skills when we have Bears/Cheesdicks on tonight. Pouty Cutler will throw multiple TDs tonight- its going to be fun!

Anonymous said...

Go Bears tonight.

--Drew

GMoney said...

And multiple picks! Doot doo duh doo doo doo GO PACK GO!!!

The #1 fan of the RedHawks is the Sexual Harrassment Panda. See what I did there? Puns!

GMoney said...

Rumor has it that...
Michigan, Michigan State and Purdue will announce shortly that they are dropping ND from their schedules.

Michigan will attempt to start scheduling USC. Michigan State will attempt to start scheduling Va Tech. Purdue is undecided, but Maryland could be a likely suitor.

Jeff said...

I thought that Meesh, Sparty and Purdont were in contracts with ND. Maybe ND switching conferences breaks a clause....

Jeff said...

All I know is that when Clemson plays in South Bend for the first time, I will be there to witness the Tigers beat that ass. I was at the ND v USC game when Leinhart pushed Reggie Bush. The ND students had already rushed the field and had to be removed only to see a loss in heart breaking fashion....

Brady said...

I watched the first couple seasons of SOA but lost interest after awhile. Once Peg Bundy was raped by the masked KKK guys, I peaced out.

Is Notre Dame kidding me with this decision? I know it's a sweetheart deal but you still have to be associated with the ACC. That would be a deal breaker for me. I can't wait for the first time that the Irish steals a BCS bid away from somebody though. There are going to be some pissed off presidents/students/fans in the ACC when that shit goes down.

Jeff said...

The deal increases national exposure for both the ACC and ND. The only time a problem can arise is if ND goes undefeated and gets into the playoff without playing in the conference title game and the chances of ND going undefeated are about as good as Brionte Dunn admitting it was his weed...aint happnin'

GMoney said...

WHOA! So you're saying that Henry Rollins nazi-raping Peg Bundy turned you OFF of the show? Are you a pussy or a Mormon? That story/entire season was ELITE.

Jimmy Smits interracial doggy-styling Peggy this week was not OVERRATED.

Nate B. said...

Any chance Ed O'Neil or Ted McGinley make a cameo appearance?

Brady said...

It didn't really turn me off of the show. That was just the last thing I remember. I was a much bigger "Rescue Me" fan.

GMoney said...

Ted McGinley should be on every show.

Anonymous said...

Since every one else from the Shield comes on this show, maybe they should bring in Vic Mackie for a story arc.

Anonymous said...

Ted McGinley mentioned here twice before noon! Kudos Nate B & G$. The season premiere was excellent and I'm sure we are in for another great season. I still hate people that drive motorcycles, unless they're on television of course.

Buke

Prime99 said...

Jefferson > Steve

Anonymous said...

I only watch SOA because of that Nazi rape scene, and I really wanted to sire Ethan Zobelle's daughters kids.

Ide

GMoney said...

David Rees Snell needs to come back for whatever reason. I don't know, dirty cop or something? I miss his brilliant acting chops.

I'm glad that Chuck Zito has entered the fray this season. Dude was legit in Oz.

I'm still unsure about Joel McHale showing up this season. He fits in a lot less awesomely as Tom Arnold and Hasselhoff.

Anonymous said...

Smits as a pimp counteracts that beautifully.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Great point Prime, Ide is the only person I've ever heard say otherwise. Jefferson>any television character of that era.

Buke

Brady said...

I know tomorrow is FF Friday, but would you guys start Tamme vs. ATL or Davis vs. STL? No biased opinions either (looking at you G$, MUDawgfan). Also, is Kendall Hunter worth picking up this early? The Fred Jackson injury is fucking killing me right now.

Anonymous said...

I have high esteem for Jefferson, he was hilarious. But, rewatch those Steve episodes. Man, his comedy was way ahead of the time (and probably our maturity level). The one episode where Al and Steve go to that porn shop to buy lingerie for Marcy and are looked at as fags is priceless. Both are great, though.

Start Tamme.

Ide

GMoney said...

Start Tamme. Peyton is gay for him and RG3 IS ALL STRAIGHT.

Yes, buy Hunter stock. That Fred Dwyer is quite the dreamboat.

Jefferson is better than Steve in every way but Griff and Bob Rooney are both ELITE characters as well.

GMoney said...

FUCK! It's Dryer, not Dwyer, you asshole. How could I fuck up an extremely dated TV reference like that!

Prime99 said...

Start Tamme.

I own Hunter in more than one league. DO IT.

Brady said...

Thanks for the advice, brahs.