|I didn't even know that he knew Uncle T!!!|
Yunel Escobar – TU ERE MARICON! I have a feeling that this guy is going to win the vote easily today for writing YOU ARE A FAGGOT in Spanish on his eye strips. Remember how Tim Tebow likes to put dumb bible verses on his face? This is the hilarious exact opposite. Why would you even do this? Does Escobar think that no one other than him speaks Spanish? I applaud his open and honest hatred for Greg Louganis’s kin and all, but this might be the #1 dumbest display of the year.
Metta World Peace – The Lakers goal this year is to go 73-9! I used to get mad about Artest always being in the news for saying stupid shit but then I realized, why would anyone stop asking this Martian’s opinion? He has no filter at all and is certifiably insane. Have you seen his stand-up routine that is making its way around the internet this week? AWFUL! But seriously, the Lakers aren’t going to set any regular season wins records this year. They’re too old with average coaching and very little depth. They don’t care about the regular season anyway. Just get them to May and then they’ll turn it on.
Greg Norman – Tiger Woods is definitely afraid of Rory McIlroy, huh? I’m sorry, Shark, but the most dominant golfer of all time isn’t afraid of a guy who looks like Little Orphan Annie. Tiger is getting older, not becoming a pussy. Period. I see that Tiger responded by saying that it isn’t like Ray Lewis is trying to tackle him or something. It’s just a guy named Rory. Tiger makes a great point, too, because Ray Ray got away with murder and you should be afraid of him. Tiger ain’t ‘fraid of nuffin’!
Jim Leyland – I would be SHOCKED if Miguel Cabrera doesn’t win the MVP! Also, Justin The Pitcher Guy has created t-shirts with the phrase “Keep the MVP in The D” on them. Whoo boy, where to start? First of all, personal awards in sports mean absolutely nothing. Let’s just get that out there. No one gives any sort of fucks about who wins what. Did you win a championship? That is what matters. Second, it would be kind of cool if someone won the Triple Crown and if he pulls that off then maybe the fat drunk should win. I’d be OK with that. But I just can’t shake my feelings that the league MVP should make the postseason and that is why I find this to be really stupid. The Tigers are in the middle of a playoff chase that is slipping away VERY fast yet the #1 topic in their Busch reg-filled clubhouse is the MVP candidacy of Miggy. That doesn’t sit well with me. Again, this award means nothing if the team with the nine figure payroll wastes an entire season with mediocre play. Maybe the Tigers should worry more about making the playoffs and much, much less about a trophy that Lardo is just going to turn into a scotch bong anyway.
Tony Stat Boy Reali - He's been rocking the "groomed stubble" look for the last few weeks on the dreadful Around The Horn. It looks terrible. He looks like a transient hobo. When you take fashion tips from Dut, you are doomed to look like an asshole. Or do you need groomed stubble to own your own glory hole? Hmmm, now I don't know what to think.
So who gets your vote for the dumbest non-football player of the week? Yunel is an easy target but I’m always biased against the fucktardery of anything related to the Tigers. Who won Big Brother? If Dan lost (as he will), I demand an epic formal apology from Grumpy. See you around the way tomorrow when the BRAHs make their triumphant return to TGI Friday’s!