It’s actually been a fairly hilarious offseason for the Jaguars. They drafted a punter in the third round this year. Justin Blackmon promised that he MIGHT consider giving up booze after his 40th DUI and he only said that so the team would pay him. Football geniuses like Peter King can’t stop raving about how awesome Blaine Gabbert looks in camp. That last part is funny because Gabbert is fucking horrible. The other day they agreed to give up 4 games over the next 4 years to play outside of the country. Won’t someone think of their stadium tarps! But maybe the funniest development from this pointless team is that they are trying to play hardball with the only ELITE player that the team has had in a decade.
Great Tiger appears to be going out of his way to shit on my boy, MoJo Drew, and pissing off fantasy owners/the dozen or so Jags fans everywhere. Tiger said, "Train is leaving the station. Run, get on it." At first, Ide got excited because he thought that the Pakistani asshole was talking about his role models but Shad Khan was actually just making some sort of idiot analogy about how crappy teams apparently don’t need their best players now. Yeah, this guy may have a lot of experience dealing with labor disagreements, but he doesn’t know shit about football.
If I was Jones-Drew’s agent (or actually MoJo), I don’t fucking show up. Fuck them. The Jaguars likely are on a current 40+ game losing streak without you in the backfield. It’s time to be compensated for being the ONLY reason why people even know that this franchise exists. Demanding the trade was a logical step but it doesn’t sound like the team is interested in doing that (the Redskins will offer you 8 7th round picks for MoJo’s services). They would apparently rather have a pissed off superstar than to throw him a “less than Forte” deal (he’s 27 and has some mileage so I’m thinking 4 years/40 million with 20-25 guaranteed) out of respect for what he has done and actually had to put up with. Yeah, he’s getting older but it’s not like the Jaguars don’t have the cap space to do the right thing. Free agents never go there anyway so they might as well take care of their own. Seriously, their biggest move this year was Laurent Robinson and the Cowboys found him digging ditches last Fall.
I hope that Jones-Drew stays strong and does not cave. Stay at home, big fella. You don’t want to let some rich and smelly cocksucker get the better of you. Good luck with Rashard Jennings, Great Tiger. For a man with a mustache that glorious, you sure are a pretty big boner sniffer. I normally don’t side with athletes that hold out, but this is just ridiculous. Pay the man what he fucking deserves and quit acting like you’re this bad ass already.
If, for some strange reason, Jaguars football is not up your alley, here's another topic for you. GSaul sent me a text the other night that local celebrity and social butterfly Greg Oden was at Bar Louie. That's fine by me because Greg Oden is apparently everywhere now; stalking all of us commenters here. The thing is that Tuesdays are $1 burger nights at Bar Louie. Is Greg Oden allowed to show up to Dollar Burger Night? That just doesn't feel right. Maybe Dollar Burnt Foot-long Hot Dog Night AMIRITE!!!
Stay tuned for tomorrow (my last post until after Labor Day!) as it is the final installment of Fantasy Football Friday. The topic, of course, is my “Ten Commandments for Draft Day”.