Thursday, August 16, 2012

G$ Takes A Mental Health Day

KG, give me your best J-Rupe impression!  NICE!
I’ve got to be honest with ya’ll. This is starting to get harder to do every day of every week of every month for the past 6+ years (let’s hope that this is just a temporary thing). In the past, I have taken little blogging “vacations” where I have asked you guys to write a week’s worth of posts based on your horrible lives but for some dumb reason, I did not do that this year (let me know if you are willing to contribute something like that again). That was a really poor decision on my part. I’m having one of those days where I just don’t feel like doing this so I’m not going to fake it and waste everyone’s time. Yes, Fantasy Football Friday is still on tap for tomorrow with the topic being “Ask The Expert” but today you will just have to accept this shit salad that I’m leaving on your internet doorstep. Give me a little four day break from this, get through the DFL Draft without being sodomized, and Monday I can come back with all the piss and vigor that you’re used to.

I’m not sure why I felt the need to explain myself. I owe you all nothing (except for Tonya who owns my black heart).

Some possible topics to help facilitate a discussion today could be:

*The Red Sox are imploding just as I predicted. What a cunty move by those players. We don’t like the manager so we’re going to tell on him! They should keep Bobby V around just to remind those fuckers that they don’t get to make the calls around there. Bobby V isn’t under .500, YOU ARE. Terry Francona ain’t walking through that door so DEAL WITH IT.

*Who needs CC Sabathia and Andy Pettitte when you have ELITE arms like Hiroki Kuroda and Derek Lowe! It didn’t take long for Lowe to wipe the Tribe-stink off of him. I like to think that Lowe wearing pinstripes is what killed Johnny Pesky. That makes me smile.

*Have we finalized golf plans yet? Is Dut the worst fantasy football commissioner of all time? Can we bring up impeachment to the Rules Committee? Wait—that’s me. You’re out, Groomed Stubble.

*I’m planning on going to the Napoleon/Defiance game (AKA the greatest rivalry in the history of the world) next Friday night which might be my first one since I graduated. Who else is in? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TODAY TO BEAT DEFIANCE!!!

*Was watching Chad Johnson get cut the other night really hard to watch or was that just me? Even though he is a douche bag, that was tough seeing him come to grips that his NFL career was over. This is why Hard Knocks will forever be the best reality show of all time (next to Two-A-Days because Hard Knocks has yet to have a character as gripping and drunk as Repete’s Dad).

That’s it. Again, I’m sorry, but even the best in the business (that would be me) occasionally feel a little burnt out. Remember, Fab 5, to get your CFB Preview Week stuff back to me soon (Damman’s is already in). I can’t wait for that week off.

56 comments:

Prime99 said...

If you're not first, you're last! (I've been having trouble sleeping...)

First off, that wasn't even that bad of a post! Quick hitters aren't bad content.

Second, I would definitely be persuaded to come out of blogging retirement for an occasional post if you need a day off.

Third, this is my favorite internet meme of I've seen in quite some time: http://banekiffin.tumblr.com/

Enjoy.

Grumpy said...

For a moment I too felt sorry watching the look in Chad's eyes; then the moment passed.

GMoney said...

Exactly. It was hard to watch him realize that he's on his way to a Jules Jordan set but then you realize that he's in that position because he can't catch and he headbutts hot chicks. So fuck him.

Felix Hernandez > Vertrasher

GMoney said...

Also: the Zingbot 3000 is ELITE! I should hire that thing to write jokes for me.

Anonymous said...

LOLZ at feeling sorry for Chad Johnson. I'm personally excited to see what that attention-starved idiot does when he has no football. He's going to do some EMBARRASSING shows/ads.

Felix Hernandez is not an MVP-caliber pitcher...sorry.

OSU guys....anybody else getting raging boners from these ESPN All-Access shows about OSU? Probably the best thing ESPN has ever put out, since there is zero commentary from their idiots....just 100% behind the scenes coverage of the Buckeyes. I wish they could air it 365 days a year.

Rumors that Oregon is about to get their asses handed to them by the NCAA. I don't believe the rumors. UNC is going to be in a world of hurt when the NCAA re-opens that investigation tho. How could they be so bad and cheat so much? I would have killed a bum to have Julius Peppers fake class schedule.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Who's Now and Mount Rushmore were both way way more awesome than "Behind The Scenes: Panic Attacks". And those two things SUCKED.

King Fe is superior because he threw a perfecto for me right in Ide's ugly mug. SUCK OUR DICK, YOU DROP OF JUPITER!

Drew, start working on your preview portion instead of leaving awful comments.

tlachey said...

First of all G$, thank you so much for the shout-out... Secondly, I absolutely agree that it was hard to watch Johnson get cut. It was especially difficult knowing that Philbin tried to pull the 'It's not so much the arrest(you), it's just not where we are headed(me)' bs. It has everything to do with the headbutt and EVERYONE knows this. Grow a pair Philbin, just sayin. And lastly, you don't need to hire anybody to write your jokes for you; You do just fine!

tlachey said...

Well, apparently I leave for a few days and lose my name and my avatar... Guess I'm going to have to go the way of Drew.

--Tonya

MuDawgfan said...

G$ - would be happy to contribute during a week of User Driven material.

Perhaps the week preceeding labor day? I could break down a proper tailgate and how to assure yourself of pissing the bed prior to 2:00pm in the afternoon on gameday.


**For the life of me, I can't understand why Boston went to shit so quickly. I realize that they don't have young talent, but Jesus they are bad. What happened to fat Becket?

**G$, what was your all time record in sports against Defiance?
http://www.napoleon.k12.oh.us/nhs/athletics

Here is a link where you can fill out the application to be added to the Napoleon Athletics Hall of Fame. Submit your extra point video and you're golden. Gotta be easier than a Big Brother Audition right?

I came here fully expecting to troll Napoleon sports, then I saw this video of the 2010 game on Youtube. Defiance runs some horseshit Wing-T garbage. Hate that shit, Napoleon's pro-style is more my liking.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hh8zwclzCiE


But paying all respects, Coach Buti of Defiance looks like a man you have to take seriously.
ELITE online profile.

http://www.defiancecityschools.org/CoachButi.aspx

Prime99 said...

Ok, so I'm going to have to get on the Big Brother train next year. I just watched a video of the Zingbot 3000, and that fucker is like the child of R2D2 and Triumph.

If you say anything other than "undefeated" in regards to MuDawgfan's question about Defiance, I'll be disappointed.

Is Tonya related to Nick Lachey?! I hope so...

tlachey said...

Up until May, I did have ties to Nick Lachey... Please don't hate me.

--Tonya

GMoney said...

Whoa, a lot to address here.

*I like to think that Tonya is the sister of Nick and former Skin (and Fuckeye) Jim Lachey.

*Dawg, pre-Labor Day week is the aforementioned Preview week so those days are covered. I will keep you in mind though for the future.

*Nap vs. Defi...in football, I think we were 1-2 but we got crushed at home as Seniors and that was highly disappointing. I think that in baseball we were around .500 or so which is very good because they were WAY better than us. In 8th grade basketball, -Rex's older brother shot it from halfcourt with a minute left in the second quarter because he misread the clock in DHS's gym. I know that you still love that story as you should because it still makes me smile that we randomly ran an offense that used the half court heave.

*I want in the Nap HOF more than I want to be on Big Bro. I think that my resume is good enough for inclusion. It's not like we've had that many ELITE athletes/bloggers.

*Watch yourself on the Wing T smack. That's what we ran in HS. It's a beautiful offense. I'm sorry, that's a lie, it is a horrible offense. I didn't think that Defiance ran that though.

*Buti used to be very ELITE but he pretty much sucks now. The Bulldogs haven't been very good over the last decade.

*I applaud you for your research on this great rivalry. You have definitely earned the title of COMMENTER OF THE MILLENIUM.

tlachey said...

Jim is Nick's fathers cousin so that would be impossible... And Nick only has 2 brothers, no sisters, sorry G$.

GMoney said...

Shut up! Stop talking that way about your BROSEPHS!

"Did" have ties to Nick, eh? Does that make you single? Because I know a lot of guys here looking to find internet romance.

tlachey said...

LOLZ... Divorced from Nick's cousin in May, but currently dating someone. And SOME of these guys drive me insane so not so sure that would be an ELITE idea! Am I getting the hang of it?

tlachey said...

Or is it too soon?

Prime99 said...

Too bad you don't still have ties to broker a partnership/duet between Nicky Lachey and Train. That would blow Ide's mind and wad.

tlachey said...

Hahaha... I still talk to the family. Let me see what I can do. If nothing else, I could attempt to sing to Ide, if he'd be ok with being around a woman and all.

Anonymous said...

Tonya....did you ever see Jessica Simpson naked when she was in her prime?

--Drew

tlachey said...

Not completely naked, Drew... Close.

The Iceman said...

How firm are you in going to that game, G$? You've got my attention.

I feel good knowing that one of those football losses came courtesy of my terrible Senior year. Ironic...when we lost 36-6, Defiance ran the spread and we ran the wing-t. Now it's opposite, apparently. And for those who care, that 6 came on the opening kickoff. We didn't pass the 50 yard line for the rest of the game. That's how badly we got destroyed.

A quick blurb only napoleon guys will find LOLZ. My younger brother was at club Rick's in Napoleon last month and Josh Radel was there. Fat and out of shape, of course. He starts arguing with my brother that him and his buddy could beat my brother and his friend Andy in a 2 on 2 football scrimmage. Since my brother isn't a douchebag he just left it alone. Obviously pissed because my brother doesn't give a shit about high school football anymore, Radel keeps at it. He then reveals to my brother than he ran a 4.2 forty in high school. INCREDIBLE! Also completely made up. Radel then tried telling my brother that he got lucky when he broke his 200 record in track. Yeah...as a high school kid, running in the 21's consistantly sure is lucky. 30 years old and you still can't give it up. TOTES pathetic. Makes sense because that guy was always a faggot.

I don't fault you for this post, G$. I was only posting twice a week at my own site and got burnt out. I leave it up because I hope someday to post there again. But deep down I know most likely that's a lie.

I don't feel bad for Chad Johnson at all. That's what you get for spending more time being an immature cock bag than you do as a professional. Maybe learn a playbook or watch some film and you wouldn't get cut by the worst team in football, loser.

GMoney said...

Let's get to the real question: Would Nick Lachey do an interview with this site? But yes, you are getting a grasp on the lingo here. You don't appear to be OVERRATED. Tell Nick that She$ loves The Sing-Off despite her husband's constant reminders that that show is shit.

The Iceman said...

My GF went to a Train concert Tuesday. She said she saw Ide in the front row crying after the lead singer touched his hand. Then she saw him shove that same hand down the front of his pants. This Train obsession is hitting new lows.

Is Nick Lachey even a celebrity anymore? What does he do besides be on terrible TV shows that get cancelled after one season?

GMoney said...

Ice, I've got a draft in Nap the following morning so unless I die on the drive home (always a risk), I'll be there. Nude.

Your Senior year/my Junior year was the worst team that I ever played on in any sport. I hated every minute of being on that team. Everyone hated everybody.

4.2 forty, eh? He should hang out with Brady. Tough break about Brady though, sounds like he has a funeral this week.

Also on Facebook this morning:
Seal is playing Oakland Hills this afternoon (NICE!). Grumpy is quoting The Eagles (AWFUL!).

tlachey said...

G$, it is definitely a possibility. Iceman... Probably nothing other than making a shit ton more money than you.

GMoney said...

The Nick Lachey/Iceman rivalry has been boiling underneath the surface for too long...it is about to explode in all of our faces.

Anonymous said...

I added j-rupe as a fb friend last night. He accepted within 30 seconds. After reviewing his posts, I instantly regretted adding him. He seems like a dude that would randomly pick a Facebook friend and then drive to their house and murder and/or rape them. Dude needs to just end it already without taking someone else down with him. There is no saving him. And to answer j-rupes daily question...no, I wouldn't notice if he was gone.

I get goosebumps watching the espn osu all access. It is fan fucking tastic.

I got a feeling tonya is fooling us all on here. I ain't buyin what she's sellin!

Dut

tlachey said...

And what exactly am I selling Dut? Trust me, if I was going to pick a celebrity that I used to be "related" to, I would definitely aim a little highter.

tlachey said...

*higher

The Iceman said...

After Nick gets divorced for the 2nd time and that new chick takes all his shit I'll have more money. It's just a waiting game at this point.

I'm off work at 6 so it's a good possibility I'll shoot there for the game, G$.

I talked to Brady. He's doing well despite the death of his father in law.

GMoney said...

Condolences from all of us (yes ALL OF US), Brady.

The Iceman said...

Brady says thanks and that all of you are still raging homos. Except Grumpy because you have to get it up first to fuck a dude in the ass.

tlachey said...

That's comical Iceman... I still don't think you have a chance. Ide has a better chance at meeting and after-partying with Train than you do of ever being wealthier than Nick Lachey.

tlachey said...

Now can we please talk about some sports... On a sports blog.

Prime99 said...

Apparently J-Rupe draws the line at me because I requested his friendship 2 days ago! Nothing. What a dick!

Anonymous said...

Prime- if I were you, I would have kept j-rupe denying your friendship to yourself! You are so pathetic that a guy with no friends who is about to kill himself doesn't even respect you enough to be friends. This has to be the low point in your life.

Tonya- I'm not believing anything you say until I see pics of you (preferably nude). This should be a requirement for any females posting to this jungle.


Dut

Prime99 said...

No Dut- my low point was a little while ago when I accepted your friendship request.

Anonymous said...

Tonya....we've all seen Jessica Simpson "close" to naked when she was in her prime. Now she weighs more than our resident 7-footer Prime.

I saw Nick Lachey shooting a machine gun on television the other night. I was flipping through the channels and watched him shoot this big fucking gun for about 30 seconds before moving on. I think there is a reality show where they take some D-list celebrities and put them through a Navey SEAL boot-camp or something.

G$...Is Seal golfing the real Oakland Hills in Michigan? That's in my hometown nigga.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

I am always down to contribute a post about my awesome life(style).

Another hearty fuck you to Dut for being the worst commissioner in the entire world. Noon on a fucking Saturday nearly a month before the season? Get fucked. I didn't realize it was this week until yesterday. 3 more preseason games to go. Again, get fucked.

OSU All Access has been much watch TV, but I will side with G$, that Johnson firing was cringe inducing. I loved every minute of it. Philbin is such an unlikable guy though. You just can't help but laugh at the fact they will be awful because of him.

A day of worthless posts is better than a post of baseball, ever. I saw that King Felix got himself a nono last night, and I thought, I wonder who he did that against. Fuck. My team has really shit the bed. I started an Indian one week and it went to shit.

LOLs Cabrera!

Ide

The Iceman said...

J-Rupe's friend acceptance > Dut's friend acceptance.

GMoney said...

Drew, yes, the place where the Ryder Cup was. Seal is apparently ELITE today. Maybe he'll bang your dad after his round.

Speaking of the Dolphins, their O/U for wins this year is 7.5. Who the fuck would bet that team to win 8 games???

Prime, keep with it. He'll get around to you soon enough. He is a very busy man.

Anonymous said...

ESPN All Access has been great! Urban Meyer doesn't like to fuck around and he will call you out if he thinks you are slacking or you are just fucking stupid.

G$, I plan to attend the River Rivalry. Since I live near the stadium, I may even host some pregame boozing/grilling. Let me know if you're interested.

-Lil' Strut

tlachey said...

Dut, I don't do nude photos... That's what caused the demise of my 8 year marriage. Sorry.

Drew, touche! However, have you ever seen her close to naked, in her prime, in person, sounding dumb as fuck?

Also, how can I find this J-Rupe character, does he have a real name? Sounds like a good time!

The Iceman said...

Good job, Dut! Way to dig up horrible memories by being a complete pig! You, sir, are ELITE.

GMoney said...

I'm not interested, LS. ZIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!! I probably wouldn't even get back to town until 7ish anyway.

I'm tired of everyone bullying T-Latch. Be a buddy, not a bully! Everyone knows that us losers have to pay to see naked women anyway.

tlachey said...

'I'm not interested, LS. ZIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!'

And this is why I continue to come back day to day!

It's ok G$, I have thick skin... And no that's not a fat joke, assholes. But I do appreciate your kindness. That being said, what kind of money would we be talking?

Anonymous said...

Black eyes are currency around here, right?

Chalk me up for a few.

Ide

Anonymous said...

G$...I attended that Ryder Cup. We got our asses kicked. You would have been happy.

Tonya...never seen her in person, so the answer is no. I would assume you found nudes that some chick sent your ex and that's what you meant by that caused the demise of your marraige. That's rough. I'm sure if you give us enough details about that whore the Moneyshot crew can ruin her life. We'll send Grumpy to run nude around wherever she works while only wearing a Roethilsberger jersey.

--Drew

tlachey said...

A little more detailed than that Drew, very close though... And I absolutely love your idea, but I'm doing one better, I'm moving on. Glad to know you guys have my back though, much appreciated!

tlachey said...

P.S. I may have puked in my mouth a little with the thought of Grumpy in a Roethlisberger jersey...

GMoney said...

And thus concludes this week's installment of "Drew: Divorce Detective"!

Anonymous said...

Tonya...while most would indeed puke at that thought. That is Dut's preferred way of being served his breakfast in bed.

--Drew

Grumpy said...

Don't be so sure Tonya. I can often be seen at Price Hill Chili in my Big Ben jersey...and nothing else.


The Iceman said...

And by nothing else he really means diapers.

Tonya said...

Grumpy, I'm sure you look good in anything you wear other than a Big Ben jersey... Nobody looks good in that, other than that one chick that had "consensual" sex with him. Drew, creepy, but probably true from what I gather about Dut. Fun day today boys, same place, same time tomorrow?

Tonya said...

Grumpy, I'm sure you look good in anything you wear other than a Big Ben jersey... Nobody looks good in that, other than that one chick that had "consensual" sex with him. Drew, creepy, but probably true from what I gather about Dut. Fun day today boys, same place, same time tomorrow?