|He used to read Word Up magazine.|
Earlier this week, the always not smart COLLEGE GRADUATE Big Ben let it slip that he had a slight tear in his rotator cuff. My first reaction was “uh oh, that’s not good”. Then I started laughing uncontrollably because Steelers fans are the dick warts of society. So I had Cowherd on yesterday during my lunch trip to the ATM (Ass To Mouth; not the bank) and the never interesting urban duo of Mike and Stink were on. They had an orthopedic surgeon on to talk about the injury and he pretty much just said that it wasn’t a big deal and everyone has small tears in their rotator cuff. For fantasy purposes, this is a relief as Ben is usually a sneaky good option at QB if you miss out on the big guns. But I’m not sure how much stock I should take from this surgeon who roomed with Schlereth in college, started his interview by screaming “SUP STIIIIIIIINK”, and was nicknamed “Drugs” (seriously) by Mark. This guys sounds like the worst doctor ever. Yet these are the kind of pointless and trivial things that you need to know before your draft: you will be able to get Big Ben for dirt cheap because most people will think that his arm is about to fall off. But, in reality, this is nothing to worry about. And now for the rest of the UNDERRATED…
QB – Mike Vick. You know, for a guy that no longer wants to talk about the past anymore, he sure is doing a lot of interviews for a book that he wrote which talks extensively about his past. After an ELITE comeback season in 2010, Vick burned EVERYONE not named Buke last year. I would like to take the time now to remind everyone that Naptown Wolverine share a team in a league and our first four picks last year were Vick, Jamaal Charles, DeSean Jackson, and Peyton Hillis. We had last place clinched after week 6. Anyway, back to Vick, I think that he puts up a top 5 fantasy season again this year. He’s not getting a ton of love coming into the season which means lower expectations. There is no way in Hell that Andy Reid lets a running back score 20-ish touchdowns again. And the President has told him to slide more! Vick shouldn’t be considered in the top tier of QBs (Brees, Rodgers, Brady), but his ceiling is much higher than the second tier guys.
RB – Reggie Bush. Hear me out before you impale me with Lexington Steele’s man-meat. It’s kind of hard to find overrated and underrated running backs. Most of the time, these guys are properly rated. But I like Reggie this year. The Dolphins are going to be ass but I still somewhat believe in the Heisman trophy “holder”. He vows to lead the league in rushing this year. OK, I doubt it, but I like the moxie. He’s going to catch a ton of passes because Miami has no good wide receivers. My point is: he is going to get a lot of touches and as long as he stays somewhat healthy (HUGE risk), I think that he’ll have a very good season.
WR – Reggie Wayne. Let’s be honest: the Colts are going to be shit this season although probably a little better than last year. Most of you, subconsciously, are immediately prejudiced against guys on garbage teams. I know that I am. When someone like Percy Harvin or Sam Bradford get brought up, I immediately am disinterested. But I’m starting to turn the corner because you can take advantage of that. The good thing about horrible teams is that they will always be playing hurry up, pass only offense for most of the second half. The Colts have Bruce Arians as their OC now and if we know one thing about him it is that he loves to throw the ball. That’s good. Wayne is also pretty durable and consistent and that is also good. He had fairly decent numbers last year considering who was throwing the ball to him and you’ve got to think that those numbers will only get better with an actual pulse under center now. Plus, did you see him report to camp in a military uniform. DUDE IS READY TO WORK!
TE – Fred Davis. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that Pierre Garcon is about to explode or that Roy Helu is going to be a breakout superstar. You would immediately tune me out and my credibility would be destroyed. But hear me on this: Freddy D is about to hang a monster on the NFL in 2012. He’s in a contract year. If he gets busted for drugs one more time, he’ll be forced into being someone else’s or his own horrible lawyer again. He has a stud QB who is still figuring out who his safety valve will be. It’s almost setting up too perfectly for Davis to have a Pro Bowl season. Actually, yes, I will predict that: Fred Davis will join Jimmy Graham as the NFC tight ends in the Pro Bowl. A bigger season than Vernon Davis, Jermichael Finley, Brandon Pettigrew, Jason Witten, Brent Celek, and Tony Gonzalez…damn, the NFC is loaded at tight end. Fuck it, Fred Davis rules and none of these other assholes grew up in northwest Ohio like he did.
K/DEF – I’m not doing this.
Next week, I’ll get into the OVERRATED which is always a much better topic. On that note, I’m making a rare trip back to Nap tonight to hit up my first Rally in the Alley in over three years. I could not be more excited. I will also keep you up to speed on whether or not I have to take Dut back, too. That would be a horrible two hours. Peace, BRAHS!