|BEST. PICTURE. EVER.|
What do you make of Adrian Peterson? Where is a good spot for him to go/how much should you spend on him?
Iceman: I heard recently that AP is planning to practice within the next 2 weeks. Which tells me that he's coming back waaaaaaay too early considering his knee was fucking mutilated back in December. I know AP is supposed to always be in freakishly great shape at all times like a silverback gorilla with robot legs would be, but this seems a tad unrealistic. Even for a mutant like AP. Plus Christian Ponder is a limp dicked pussy who throws with the velocity of a retarded girl scout. The combination of those two bed sheet sized red flags tells me that AP isn't worth it this year. Even if he does play a full season (he won't) you would be lucky to see more than 800 yards out of him (which probably won't happen in a sure fire time share). There is too much evidence that exists that tells me running backs recovering from ACL/MCL surgery are never right their first year back. Most never fully make it back. If you have the fucking stones to risk it, I would target AP around the 4th or 5th round and spend no more than $20 based on a $200 cap. Play it conservative and let him be someone else’s problem if it comes to that.
It is widely known that Jay Cutler wants to have sex with interceptions...it's obviously why he throws so many. Knowing that Cutler is a lot like Favretard (as in he is the only person who thinks he can put it anywhere at any time regardless of the coverage), does the addition of Brandon Marshall make him more appealing to you as an every week starting QB?
G$: Yes. In fact, I think that Dennis Cutty is going to have a big year (ie. better than both Mannings). Now that Mike Martz is gone from trying to get him killed every week AND they brought in a top 5 receiver (albeit insane), I like the sulky bastard a lot.
Who has the better fantasy season: Luck or RGIII? And do either approach what Cam did?
Iceman: Not because this is your site and not because you employ me for a whopping $0 per hour, but I have to go with RGIII on this one. It's simple when you really think about it. RGIII runs a sub 4.5 forty and doesn't sound like he has peanut butter caked on the roof of his mouth when he talks. His accuracy isn't an issue and he just has better weapons around him. And that's sad to say when you look at who the "weapons" are. The fact that he's fast, black, and accurate means there's just more opportunity for him to get in the end zone and rack up yards. The only downside I can see is RGIII allowing himself to be tackled since he loves the warm embrace of several hot, sweaty men (Don't you fucking dare censor me!!). Although I see RGIII as the better option here, I don't see him coming close to doing what Cam did last year simply because RGIII doesn't have the girth to be the goal line back for Washington. This was what Cam essentially was/is for Carolina. Plus Shanahan is a total faggot so he'll probably do something incredibly queer like bring in his 8th string running back he activated off the practice squad 2 days prior to run the offense once the Skins crack the red zone.
There is a loaded gun with half of the barrel firmly lodged inside your anal cavity. The person with the finger on the trigger (me) says you have to pick TO, Randy Moss or
G$: Well, Moss is the only one actually guaranteed to make a roster this year so I’ll say him even though I want nothing to do with this guy. What kind of question is this anyway? You have a legit expert in front of you and you ask a question about receivers in their mid-30’s? Suck my butthole.
Why is everyone still nibbling on Peyton's foreskin? The guy has neck AIDS, a terrible running game, and garbage receivers. Let's not forget that his outdoor splits are sketchy at best. Are you buying into Gomer?
Iceman: Why? WHY?! I'll tells ya why. Because he's PEYTON FUCKING MANNING!! Yes. I'm buying Peyton because of one reason. He's a cocksucker. Not in the RGIII (FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!) sense but in the sense that he can't stand people saying he's lost it. Asshole perfectionists like that work tirelessly to prove naysayers wrong. They feel like they always have something to prove. They ignore their wives and pretty much beg them to fuck other men while they stare endlessly at film from Ray Lewis in high school...because there COULD be tendencies that MAY have followed him to the pros. Don't tell me watching Lil' Bro crank out a second Super Bowl victory over the family arch nemesis didn't singe Peyton's silver pubes a little. You think Peyton's okay with (fucking idiot) people saying Downs Syndrome ELI is a better quarterback? That motherfucker is going to be on a mission this year and if he can make Brandon Stokley a borderline Pro-Bowler then he can do the same with Eric Decker. There's no doubt I would draft Peyton Manning this year. If Favretard can light it up at 39, then Manning can be as good if not better at 38. That...is a FACT!
There is a rumor that Tim Hightower is the #1 back in Washington now. After months of everyone fluffling Roy Helu and assuming he's the starter, what does this do for Helu's draft stock? As a Redskins fan, are you ready to join the millions that would love one clean shot at upper cutting Shanahan's testicles?
G$: And now you want to know about the running back situation in DC? Good God, you ask questions like someone who dreams of working for the Northwest Signal. No one is fluffing Roy Helu and no one ever has. I don’t know where you got that. My praise of him was always tongue in cheek because I like that he stills goes by Jr. He is not that starter. It could be Evan Royster or Hightower or even rookie Alfred Morris. I don’t know why anyone would count on a Redskins RB. But if you absolutely had to have one, Helu is the guy only because he is the best pass catcher and the Skins will be throwing a lot this year.
As has been said ad nauseum, the DFL Draft is tomorrow which begins the football season for me. YAY!!! My sister lives in Chicago (has for over 5 years; still have not visited her—ELITE!) and has field passes to tomorrow’s Bears/Redskins game. I was very explicit with my request for her to tell RG3 that I am IN LOVE with him (yes homo). She said that she would. She will probably want to avoid Rex Grossman though. You never want to walk out of a preseason NFL game with a kid in your belly.