Monday, August 27, 2012

CFB Preview Week Day 1: Rated!

Huge Buckeyes Fan!
Hey, it's College Football Preview Week here at Da Shot. In case you are new to this, it is five straight days where some of our least favorite commenters collaborate to get you ready for the season. It's utterly terrible! We're back to the original crew of contributors this season (AND Li'l Strut!): Damman, The Wig Master, Drew, GSaul, Dut, and myself. I promise that GSaul actually tried this year. Anyway, day one is all about overrated and underrated teams. Enjoy!

Damman: Overrated - #8 Michigan. My staple for overrated teams, Virginia Tech, is only ranked 20th to start this year so I had to look elsewhere. So I’ll have to go with none other than the Michigan Wolverines. #8 is way too high. This team had a number of close games go their way last year, including narrowly beating bad Ohio State and Notre Dame teams at home. The defense is still very suspect. Denard still can’t throw. They’re due for a fall back this year. The schedule is not easy with a neutral site game against Bama and roadies at ND, Nebraska and Ohio State. 8-4 or 7-5 is a strong possibility.
Underrated – #15 Texas. I really have no basis to back this up, but they have been shit for the last 3 years and they have to be due for a bounce back year, right? Case McCoy can’t be this bad, can he? Too much talent on this roster. I’m rolling with the Horns this year.

Drew: Overrated - #8 Michigan. This one is pretty fucking easy. The most OVERRATED team right now is Michigan. The idea that they will finish at # 8 in the country (one writer gave them a #1 vote...LOLZ!)....is laughable. Big losses on the defensive line...lack of play-makers other than Denard...and their schedule is the opposite of what it was last year, which means it's tough. Games against Alabama, @ND, MSU, @Nebraska, @Ohio State. They will finish somewhere in the 15-20 range this year.
Underrated - #16 Frank Beamer's Fake Neck. The most underrated team in the nation is Virginia Tech. They are currently ranked # 16/18. They basically have two games they could lose...@Clemson and a night home game against FSU. They return an excellent defense with 9 returning starters and I really think this is the year that QB Logan Thomas will make a leap. Their defense will win them enough games with that easy schedule, that is not difficult to see them finishing it with one loss and heading into the bowl season ranked around # 5 in the nation.

The Wig Master: Overrated - #25 Louisville. The Louisville Cardinals come into the season ranked #25 (AP)…the only Big East team that is ranked, and the preseason favorite to win the Conference. I suppose that means we will get to watch the 6-6 Cards in the Orange Bowl come January. What a joke. The Cards will be lucky to get out of September at 3-2. Before October, the Cards will be out of the Top 25, and so Louisville is easily overrated.
Underrated - #12 Wisconsin. The Wisconsin Badgers sit at #12 (AP) as we start the year. If Montee Ball can actually stay in the Heisman race (and avoid random ass whoopins…a la Bullock v. G$--editor's note: you sonofabitch!), Wisky could coast. Their conference sched is actually quite manageable, with MSU and OSU appearing late in the year. Additionally, the Badgers have once again recruited a QB out of the ACC (scouting high school kids is for amateurs), that should get the start and be productive early. Wisky should be comfortably in the top 10 all year, and are currently underrated.

Li'l Strut: Overrated - #8 Michigan. The Wolverines lose 3 of 4 starters on the defensive line. U of M also loses many of its skill position starters, including its starting RB against Bama and its best WR from last year who single-handedly bailed Denard Robinson out from multiple interceptions in key victories. Opening against the defending national champs, and road games at Notre Dame, Nebraska, and Ohio State certainly don’t help. Let’s not forget about Sparty, either. Michigan is getting top 10 love, but I don’t see That Team Up North with less than 3-4 losses at season’s end.
Underrated - #7 Florida State. Even though FSU is right around 10 in most preseason polls, this team should be a top 5 team. Granted, FSU has rarely lived up to its billing recently, but the Seminoles return 18 starters, including 9 starters from a defense that was pretty damn good last year. FSU’s schedule is fairly weak. If they can get past Clemson in week 4, they could be 11-0 by the time Florida comes to Tallahassee

GSaul: Overrated - #11 West Virginia. WVU is moving from the Big East to the Big 12 this year. They will be welcomed by playing five teams that are currently ranked in the top 25 over a six-game stretch from October 6 through November 17. Just matching their 10-3 record from last year would be a Herculean accomplishment.
Underrated - #23 Florida. The Gators reside in the very winnable SEC East, plus LSU, South Carolina, and Georgia all have to visit the Swamp this year. Florida hired former Boise State offensive coordinator Brent Pease, so expect the Gators to improve on last year’s 7-6 record.

Dut: Overrated - #8 Michigan. I'm not saying this just because I hate everything about TSUN. They overachieved big time last year with a team full of RRod shit sandwiches. Also, they still utilize white people in the secondary. A relatively easy schedule (didn't play Wisconsin) and a lot of breaks/Denard Robinson jump balls led to a miracle season. Teams that play out of their ass one year usually come back to earth the next year when there are higher expectations. No way in hell this is the 8th best team in the nation. Those Denard Robinson jump balls will turn into INTs. I'm expecting 4-5 losses. Book it.
Underrated - #15 Texas. I did GSaul-esque research on this one. Texas is always among the elite in recruiting rankings, it just hasn't translated to the field the last two years. They'll get back to their Big12 dominating ways this year and maybe be in the conversation for a national championship.

G$: Overrated - #11 West Virginia. I had a fantasy football draft back in Napoleon on Saturday. I decided to take another shot at Four Loko. It was a huge mistake. I was a fucking disgrace. My team looks pretty good though (somehow). The last player that I got was Tim Hightower for a buck but you wouldn't know that if you looked at my roster sheet. What I was writing at the end was not even close to the English language.
Underrated - #23 Florida. It didn't end there though. I decided that it would be a good decision to pass out on my in-laws' couch without a shirt on. They came home and thought that I was dead. My wife had to walk me to a bedroom in which I "Peter Griffin'ed" onto the mattress. I passed out at 6:30 pm and woke up at 7:30 am. It was the least ELITE thing that I've ever done. NEVER DRINK FOUR LOKO.

Stay tuned for Day 2 of the Preview tomorrow where this same cast of assholes talks about sleeper players and horrible coaches.

36 comments:

Grumpy said...

Big surprise. All the Ohio fans pick Michigan as overrated. Who would have thought?

Anonymous said...

Get fucked Grumpy - I am not even a huge OSU fan and agree with all of their arguments.

Seal

Anonymous said...

We have an agggressive Seal this morning. He's right tho....get fucked Grumps.

Also, Lil' Strut may be jumping the gun with his Fitzgerland Touissaint is going to be suspended for the Alabama comment. My Michigan buddies think Hoke is gonna play him.

G$/Grumpy/anyone else....if anybody needs 2 tickets to OSU/Miami my parents gave me their two tickets to unload for face value obviously.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

I agree with everything that seal says.

I'm a bit concerned that Damman and I think alike. He can't even put together back to back benders anymore.

I gave up on four loko when they stopped putting caffeine in it. There is no point anymore. If you want to get drunk quick, drink liquor.

Dut

GMoney said...

I don't think that it is absurd to believe that UM at 8 is awful. It is.

Of course Seal will agree with everyone. This is a dynamic group that I've assembled.

In case you were wondering, expect a J-Rupe pic every day this week.

I don't need tickets. I'm taken care of. It's easy to get rid of tickets when you have two of college football's best playing each other.

My actual justification: West Virginia would be a one loss team if they were still in the Big East and a dark horse for the BCS title game. Geno Smith SICK. But in the loaded Big 12, I don't think so. Florida is going to win the SEC East. There.

I've had requests to dig deep again this Saturday and hammer Loko's again. No fucking chance. I don't think that my butthole could handle it again.

Anonymous said...

G$ - how fucking great is Big Brother right now?

Seal

Mr. Ace said...

I knew the Michigan hate was coming. I don't really have much of a problem with it. We had a lot of breaks last year and need to find replacements on the D Line. We won't lose 4 games. I think we most likely will lose 2 games.

Mattison will have our defense ready to go. Not worried about that. Denard has another full offseason with Borges' offense, I think he takes a big step forward in the passing game. And Devin Gardner will blow up as a WR.

I think Michigan will finish maybe just outside the Top 10, certainly Top 15.

Toledo will finish in the Top 25. Boom.

Prime99 said...

Shit- maybe I will also take the week off. My "staff of writers" used up all our college football material in late July. Or maybe I'll declare my allegiance to a B1G team by the end of the week. Who knows?!

The Iceman said...

Best. Four Loko. Story. Ever.

What an Earth shattering, stunning development that all the Fuckeye faithful would pick Michigan as overrated. Way to take the pussy way out.

Virginia Tech and Florida State as underrated are simply hilarious picks. When was the last time either squad met the (puzzling) high expectations that were set? Tech lost their best offensive player from a squad that struggled to put up points at times last year. I see them regressing. Florida State is always good for a confusing loss or two to a school with far less talent. Expect them to lose to an NC State or Boston College this year. Then expect me to remind you of how right I was.

Anonymous said...

That is by far not the best Four Loko story ever. The greatest Four Loko stories occurred when it had caffeine in them.

G$....According to Iceman you must be part of the Buckeye faithful since you said, "I don't think that it is absurd to believe that UM at 8 is awful. It is."

--Drew

GMoney said...

Seal, this has been a great Summer eventhough the producers totally fucked over the first timers but whatever. Frank is ELITE but I wish he would stop yelling at everyone. Yeah, you're alone now. Deal with it. It isn't a crime to send the best players' allies home.

Grump, are you coming up this weekend? I don't think that you've ever stated your plans.

Peter King interviews OU QB Tyler Tettleton this morning. Awful. I wish that Sandusky raped both of those assholes.

Did you want an update on what happened in the Napoleon/Defiance game on Friday? Of course you do! Napoleon's starting RB broke a school record with 303 rushing yards in the game, broke a record for highest scoring game in the rivalry, and the wide receiver who joined the team for his Senior year even though he is playing hoops at Toledo next year and is built like fucking T.O. can not be stopped. Cats roll 57-21. It wasn't even THAT close either. After Nap went up 48-7 with 3 minutes left in the 3rd, some asshole on Defi took a run at our kicker on the extra point and the kid had to be carried off. Total cheap shot. Nap coaches were NOT PLEASED. So they pulled a Woody Hayes and went for two the after that score and the last score. It was ELITE. Run it up on those shit heels!

Iceman, The Dutchman, LS, Big Strut, Nap Wolverine, and Nate B were all in attendance. Fuck Defiance. They won't win many this year if any. Cats play at Alter in week 3 (their QB is going to Notre Dame) and home with Southview (potential state champs) in week 4. SICK!

GMoney said...

If Michigan was ranked 11 or 12, I would be fine with that. But they were sort of a fluke last year (don't argue this) and 8 just doesn't feel right. OVERRATED!

Grumpy said...

Not coming for Urban's first loss. Family in from out of town and I'll have to DVR it for Sat. night.

Bath was in.

Anonymous said...

Ice, what part of any of our arguments do you find unreasonable about Michigan? I'll wait.

The days of back to back benders are over for me, Dut. How was the Nazi on Saturday?

-Damman

GMoney said...

Best Breaking Bad ever?

Phoenix Drug Guy: Heisenberg?
Walter: YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT.

Mike: Shut the fuck up, Walter, so I can die in peace.

Grumpy, you're my first call then after we win and I need bail money.

MUDAWGFAN said...

"Georgia all have to visit the Swamp this year"


GSaul - this game is at a neutral site in Jacksonville, Florida is simply the home team.

The Iceman said...

Show me where I said your argument was unreasonable, Damman. Now I'll wait.

I simply said you took the pussy way out. Because you did. Try putting some thought into an overrated choice rather than shit talking a team you shit talk every single day.

Ace is right. Michigan will finish in the top 15, no question.

It was just good to see the Napoleon #56 back on the field, headbanging to some mid 90's Slayer. Wearing that jersey bears enormous responsibility. I'm fairly certain they issue a Fiero with that jersey as well.

BB last night was pretty tough. It was hard watching Mike go to that meth lab in the sky. He was easily one of the best characters on that show. Nay...in televsion.

Brady said...

"Also, they still utilize white people in the secondary" - LOLZ

I tend to agree with Iceman on Michigan. Denard isn't a great passer but those legs buy him alot of time. DB's can't cover for ever. I think they lose 2-3 games and finish around 15.

Tebow is the worst QB ever. It was like pulling teeth watching that bible-thumping retard play last night.

Nate B said...

Nice to see Defiance still believes in the T-formation.

Apparently Fridge Perry has an illegimate son starting at FB for the Bulldogs.

Anonymous said...

"Ace is right. Michigan will finish in the top 15, no question." -- LOLZ!

--Drew

Anonymous said...

I think what ICE is trying to say is that all the OSU homers took the easy target and provided us with 0 depth of insight.

Of course Michigan has to be over ranked week 1. They kick off with Bama in Dallas. They want both teams in those single digit rankings, did you forget, money is involved in this sport? Its always a win win to over rank for this kind of game. IF they win, they deserve to be in the top 5 after week 1. If they lose, they'll drop to 11-12 where they belong. Its science.....

Tell is something we don't know panel.....

- J Saul

Jeff said...

Michigan is def overrated. Clemson is underrated, National Championship this year. ACC is easy and the highest paid assistant in the country (not sure on that, but I think so), Brent Venables (former Oklahoma DC) will sure up the defense that gave up 70 in the orange bowl. Not homer picks at all.....

I can't believe we're not talking Red Sox today! Hey LA, have fun with those horrible contracts and aging stars, oh and throw in a couple of your best prospects as well. I can't believe they didn't want John Lackey as part of the deal.

Anonymous said...

Clemson is on par with the turkey necks. They are perennially overrated. SC will beat them and prolly Free Shoes University. They find a way to underachieve every year. Abd if the ACC ever sends a team to the NCG I'll shit myself (real talk!).

Ide

Brady said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
GMoney said...

Auburn will beat Clemson this weekend. Ya heard me!

I like how Boston just gives up a year after putting this "super team" together. You don't win with prospects (looks at Indians fans). So what if you have a ton of money now. It just means more horrible contracts to bad players.

Is Walt going to murder the 9 legacy guys now? Why hasn't he killed Skylar yet? She is awful. Did Flynn get a breakfast this week? Todd!

The Iceman said...

The ACC is just fuckin boring. They'll also never play for a national championship because none of the schools in that shit conference know how to get out of their own way.

Today on the radio Cowfucker basically admitted to having done drugs at one point in his life. Everything is starting to make sense now...

The Iceman said...

Walter is TOTES going after the 9 legacy guys to have them killed because he never wanted to pay them from the start. Why else would he want their names? If Walter kills Skylar, it will raise too many eyebrows because Hank knows they're having marital issues. That's heat he doesn't need with the DEA hot on the meth trail. Flynn doesn't get a breakfast because he chose a horrible nickname that mirrors an even worse QB.

RUSTY WILSON!!!

Anonymous said...

Lil' Strut....as I said....you gave Hoke too much credit...

Suspended TB Fitz Toussaint listed as starting running back for Alabama game.

--Drew

The Iceman said...

"Suspended TB Fitz Toussaint listed as starting running back for Alabama game."

He hasn't officially been cleared to play. I hope Hoke sticks by his word and holds him out of the Bama game. Beating Alabama is obviously important but I think maintaining discipline on that team is more important.

GMoney said...

Guess what? The Taco Bell in Nap is now offering COOL RANCH DORITOS LOCOS TACOS. I had no idea that these existed. I thought that it was a dream. I would have bought 10 of those yesterday but T-Bell isn't open at 8 AM unfortunately. These beauties better find their way to central Ohio.

Anonymous said...

They usually only release those early to their best selling locations....something to be proud of.

F That, start him. Who cares about these moral high roads in college football, its a fucking free for all...

Go Blue

- J Saul

The Iceman said...

I care, Saul. Because Michigan is supposed to be better than programs that pretend to care about morals. If you say that playing football at Michigan or anywhere else is more than just being a football player, then prove it. If you don't mean it then don't say it. It's just fucking insulting to say that you're suspending your starting running back for DUI and then he doesn't miss any games because you start the season with Alabama.

I've had the Cool Ranch Doritos Locos G$. Toledo/BG had them last year. Sorry to burst your bubble, pal but they are way overhyped. OVERRATED, even. Stick with the Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos.

Brady said...

Holy shit Ice, that was beautiful.

/wipes tear

Hate to knock you from the moral soapbox but beating Bama is way more important than a buzzed joy ride. Hoke and Michigan are no different than any other big time school. WINS mean everything. Unless your showering with little boys or beating the living shit out of your girlfriend, chances are that dude will be on the field.

Prime99 said...

Debating morals in college athletics is hilarious!

The Iceman said...

I just like to hold my team to a higher standard rather than sweeping crimes under the rug because he's big, black and fast.

GMoney said...

And congrats to Snooki and Jionni on the birth of their son, Future Rapist.