No cute little story to get things started off today. Just a hodgepodge of shit. I'm just gonna thrust it in you with no lube and hope that I tear something vital.
-Roger Clemens is making a return to baseball. I'm sorry...I didn't know there was still a demand for 50 year old limp dicked pitchers with pudding tits. Normally I hate all things baseball but this was just too tasty to pass up. Are you fucking kidding me right now!? Fifty motherfucking years old and you can't find anything else better to do with your time than embarrass yourself while moonballing 87 MPH fastballs to people half your age? Clemens is fucking clown shoes. I hope he dies. Literally.
-Sticking with the steroids theme, the Bills have cut Shawne Merriman leaving him plenty of time to wonder if juicing was worth having baby nuts for the rest of his life. I would say this is tragic but I have no sympathy for shit bags who break rules, then lie about the rule they broke. Remember when this guy was virtually unblockable five or six years ago? Now he's just a dried up, pathetic near non-story that just got cut by one of the most hilariously inept franchises in all of sports. See you at Waffle House, Shawne...and remember when I'm hammered that I like chocolate chips in my pancakes, bitch.
-DeSean Jackson is a cry baby piece of shit fucking faggot. Great message to send to kids, cock face. If you don't get want you want, whine like a little bitch and take plays off until you get your way. Fuck this guy. I can't stand people who think they're worth more than they really are. The Eagles should have just let this fucking head case walk when they had the chance. Now they have an overpaid, average WR with the attitude of T.O. and the mouth of Freddie Mitchell. Enjoy that bullshit. He'll probably be on the Browns in four years.
-The MoneyShot's favorite Badger, Rusty Wilson, is tearing it up in preseason so far and sparking debates on whether or not he should overtake Matt Flynn as the starter. Not huge news...just nice to see Rusty doing so well. He'll have Flynn's job sooner rather than later since Flynn is an overpaid Kevin Kolb type. So naturally Colon Cowfucker loves Flynn and his "potential". TRANSCENDENT!!!
-Speaking of the worst radio host of all time, my new favorite thing to do is tweet Colon Cowfucker every time he was wrong about something he INSISTED he couldn't be wrong about. Just recently I left this truth nugget.
"Kevin Kolb looks like a backup arena league QB. I love it when blowhards like
This will be my first tweet in a series of tweets that will gradually get more and more offensive. My goal is to eventually piss him off to the point where he starts taking jabs back at me. I'll keep everyone updated on my new mission. But for real...Kevin Kolb looks fucking terrible. Have fun absorbing that LOLZ contract, Arizona.
That's it for me today. A nice little football/baseball grab bag for all you bitch faces who cry about basketball in August. You guys should all take turns sucking DeSean Jackson's bumpy dick for questioning my ELITE topic picking skills. Now piss off while I take more 5th grade cheap shots at Mr. Cowfucker.