Monday, August 20, 2012

2012 DFL Draft Review: It Could Have Been Better

Dut never stops amazing me.
Nothing really piqued my interest this weekend as a topic of blog-versation, so I just figured to talk about this Saturday's DFL Draft.  Much like last year, this served as the first draft for many of us (if not all) and served as a nice guidebook for how all future drafts will play out this month.  The big change this year was that we were shifting from a live auction format to an online auction via ESPN as half of us were over at Dut's house and the other half of the league were spread throughout the globe.  I'll get to that later though.

The day started off bright and early with a lovely morning 10 holes of perfection at Minerva Lake Golf Club.  Behind Damman's unreal front 9 40 and my tendency to hit clutch putting bombs, we defeated the evil duo of Dut and Jeff.  They had a chance to win on the final hole but after I sunk an extremely lucky 40 foot putt (my second of the day), Jeff deep-throated the shit out of his putter and missed a 3 footer by a million feet.  We each won a dollar from those two losers but it wasn't about the money.  It was about reminding those two that they suck and are women.  Plus, drinking beer at 8:30 in the morning is ELITE.  I can't wait to do it over the next two weekends.

OK, so the draft itself went fairly smooth.  For as awful as ESPN is at everything, their online auction is done about as well as you could imagine.  I honestly have zero complaints about it.  It's just unfortunate that it had to be that way.  I'm not trying to be a dick here or anything (but I am going to be a dick) but this league needs to go back to the live in-person draft that takes forever but is ridiculously enjoyable.  Yeah, Ide and Daniel chatting about race relations was great, but imagine how much better it would have been were they in the same room.  As the Rules Committee, I want to bring this motion to vote--live or nothing.  OBVZ it's going to be nearly impossible to get everyone in the same room since we have two owners in NYC, one in Texas, and one in Arizona.  I get that.  But I have one advantage for still living in Ohio...I can make all of my drafts.  That's it.  We shouldn't be catering the league toward the people that can't make it.  If we can't get a Skype thing, replacement drafters, or something going then it might be worth exploring finding new owners.  Or go down to 12 teams like a normal league.  Don't give everyone an easy out.  Lange, all of the Saul boys, Boz, and Larry/Drew; they all could have been there probably.  So let's make a solid effort to get everyone in the same room next year.  While this is the World's Worst League, I still think that we are better than what we showed yesterday.  You're never going to make everyone happy.  Don't worry about the outliers, concern yourself with the majority, homo.

It didn't help that our Commish was seemingly trying to get us to leave 5 minutes after the draft started!  I'm just kidding (not really, quit fucking with the draft shot clock) but I must commend Dut for installing a Glory Hole in his bathroom.  I should have taken a picture of it.  Sure, it may just be where the mirror is supposed to go once he is done remodeling, but for the time being, I like to think that that is how Dut gets his fill of extremely girth-y black dong.  As I mentioned in the chat, 2011 was the year of the Fleshlight (which made an appearance on Draft Day because why wouldn't it), but 2012 is the year of the Glory Hole.

Anyway, 10 of the 14 members of the league are known readers and contributors here.  Let's break down their teams and let the world know who is the favorite.  Now, I'm not going to waste your time listing every player on all 10 teams, but I'll go Survivor Series mode instead.  I am going to anonymously list the 5 best players (according to me) on each team and you can judge who did the best and worst.  FYI, I really like Damman's team (because a lot of them were on my team last year) but he hasn't had a ton of success in auctions past so take that with a grain of salt.  Here we go:

Team 1 - Arian Foster, DeMarco Murray, Jimmy Graham, CAR Steve Smith, and RG3/Luck (both $5)...good luck to this guy figuring out which QB to start every week
Team 2 - Drew Brees, Doug Martin, Stevie Johnson, Roy Helu, and Gronkowski
Team 3 - Fred Jackson, Sproles, Roddy White, Victor Cruz, and Greg Jennings (WOW)
Team 4 - Matt Schaub, Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson, Aaron Hernandez, and Julio Jones
Team 5 - Philip Rivers, LeSean McCoy, Trent Richardson, Colston, and Miles Austin

Team 6 - Vick, Lynch, McGahee, AJ Green, and Maclin
Team 7 - Cam Newton, Green-Ellis, Harvin, Brandon Lloyd, and Antonio Gates (OUCH)
Team 8 - Aaron Rodgers, Welker, Dwayne Bowe, and uh, there is no 4th and 5th best player.  This team actually drafted Tim Tebow.  Frank Gore SUCKS.
Team 9 - Matt Ryan, McFadden, Jordy Nelson, Mike Wallace, and Pierre Garcon
Team 10 - EliTE Manning, Ahmad Bradshaw, Jamaal Charles, Larry Fitzgerald, and Hakeem Nicks

I really like Team 3 and Team 10.  I hate Team 7 and Team 7 and Team 7 once more.  Team 6 could be pretty bad as well.  In case you couldn't figure it out, I am Team 2.  Gronk cost me 2 bucks last year but 40 this year.  Oh well, as long as Brees and Gronk are 75-80% of what they were last year, I'm going to make the playoffs easily.  I like my depth, too (which you can't see).  What I lack in LEMPH, I make up for in STREMPH.

So with that, another DFL Draft is in the books and fantasy football season has officially begun.  Glory Hole!

74 comments:

Grumpy said...

Way to dump on your loyal friends because they don't live in Ohio.

Anonymous said...

No he's right. We should've been there. Hell, I tried getting a date set in May so I could set plans, but our faggot commish kept waffling on weeks until he settled on double booking drafts on the same day. G$ took it too easy on Dut, he is the worst.

Aside from the kicker, we didnt nominate a player we drafted. I just dicked around watching you fags go spend happy on awful players. I honestly thought someone was going to out bid my dollar for Tebow. I fucked that up.

You also left out the shittiest picks. Whoever overpaid for MJD was totes lol.

Ide

GMoney said...

It's not about dumping on them (and I was worried that it might come off like that). Or even dumping on Dut because "life" sometimes put stuff like this into disarray. It's more that they get the advantage of living in way cooler cities every day, we don't. This is ONE thing that we still have. And I feel like it needs to go back to that. The live auction is such a unique form of drunken absurdity that Saturday felt cheap. Like it was just thrown together.

I just don't feel like our drafts should revolve around the couple of people that physically can't make it. I'd like to think that they would understand.

Yeah, Grant spent $50 on MoJo. Awful. I will say this about Tenor...the teams that he fantasy plays on have a ten(or)dency to go deep in the playoffs.

Hell of a glory hole though.

Anonymous said...

Skype is amazing for situations like this. We've done this for the last two years in my baseball league...one guy lives in Florida and another lives in Chicago and they couldn't make it. We hook the lap-top up to a TV...and you can actually split the screen up so that they each have oen half of the flatscreen. It's awesome and hilarious. It actually does feel like they are there drafting with you.

Dut does sound like he's a terrible commissioner tho.

--Drew

Mr. Ace said...

Good morning and happy glory hole everyone.

And RIP to commenter Daniel's dog's (Tank) left(or right) eye. Apparently his dog's eye ruptured yesterday and will be having surgery tomorrow. I am getting him a sweet eye patch. But I imagine that was karma for all the racial hijinks Saturday. God speed, Tank. And stay safe, Ide.

Dut is the worst commissioner, tho. Just horrible in every way.

Mike Vick is going to go HAM for Garrett.

Jeff said...

Dut needs to have one of those credit card swipe attachments for his iphone. A real commish would not let anyone leave the draft without paying. Dut, your check will in the mail this week.

I'm pleased with my team as long as tRich and Maustin are healthy.

Jeff said...

Oh and that putt was the worst. That's what I get for being on a team with Dut. His terribleness rubs off on me.

GMoney said...

Good call, Jeff, that was tremendous. No one paid Dut their league dues (or maybe just one or two out of 14). ELITE!

So Skype is a possibility? Video-conferencing would solve a LOT of problems.

Line of the draft which had something do with Mark Ingram's dad, I think, and you'll be able to figure out what race this is referring to quite easily:

"What they lack in dads, they make up for in kids".

Anonymous said...

I'm glad to see the recognition for the POTENTIAL greatness of Team 3. Mind you that our (-Rex and myself) OP houses DJax as well....

I also thought getting BigBen - $5 and Alex Smiff - $1 was quite the steal at QB. Lot better than 5 each for two rookies, thoughts? I've pretty much confirmed this due to Dut offering RG3 for Ben already.

- J Saul

GMoney said...

I wouldn't want anyone whose backside is being protected by Mike Adams. Yeah, JSaul, I really do like your team. For someone that is usually terrible, you were a lot less terrible on Saturday. You should probably do one of those "baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, and Chevrolet" commercials like all trash from Detroit are doing these days.

Anyone see what Kirk Cousin(t)s did to the Bears on Saturday? ELITE! Justifiable pick! Trade bait!

Prime99 said...

Your team is pretty good, G$. It's hard to tell how it will shake out because I've never been in a 14 team league, but it looks solid on the surface.

My live draft at the Peppermill went quite well. We got 10 people, everyone paid on arrival, it took a solid 2.5 hours, and my team looks great (based on Yahoo! projections, I'll have the most points.)

Arian, stafford, Bradshaw, Colston, demeryius Thomas, burner turner, Gresham, etc. I already can't wait for the season to start.

Anonymous said...

I put rg3 on the trading block after that AWFUL performance on his last game. I think Andrew luck will end up being my starter. I can see the colts throwing a lot this year, so maybe that's not a bad thing.

It's impossible to pick a weekend where everyone can make it. This is the way it will have to be. I'd rather sacrifice the 4 hour draft day than have to boot friends out of the league. Some people actually have lives outside of fantasy football.

I know nobody cares about fantasy baseball anymore now that football has started, but this will end up being an epic finish with 9 teams competing for 6 spots! I like the chances for rod Allen as long as there are no more disastrous weeks.

Melky Cabrera just lost a shartload of $$! I don't blame him going for broke in a contract year, but what a disaster!

Grogan- be sure to add the 80$ you owe me to your fantasy football check.

Dut

Anonymous said...

Also, I'm not messing around about penalizing teams who haven't paid their dues by week 1. No exceptions. You have been warned! (I hope Moden pulls a Moden and doesn't pay so I can beat him for once).

Dut

GMoney said...

If you don't want to kick people out, which it wouldn't really be unless those that moved away are GIANT cocksuckers, then we have get the video thing going or they need to find someone to draft for them. I feel like most people would accept that once they move away, they give up some territorial rights on things like fantasy football. This effects 3 franchises, don't punish the other 11.

RG3 is on the trade block because he struggles in a preseason game against a good defense while being down 3 starters on the OL. You're already dominating idiocy.

My baseball team is making an excellent push for the playoffs. Three weeks left.

Brady said...

Ahhh, nothing like getting back on the horse today and reading about someone else's draft. I had mine yesterday as well. I'll just throw my top five out there because I'm a selfish glory boy that needs validation from people on the internet.

Eli Manning, McCoy, Cruz, Bowe and Fred Jackson.

Maybe we should start a Moneyshot contributor draft next season?

GMoney said...

Brady, the MSFL is already in existence. You came on board here a year too late to be invited (you can always go on the wait list though). That's a rock solid Five though.

Anonymous said...

Granted, I am not in the DFL, but I feel like if a majority agrees to certain rules and procedures, the commish should abide and not detriment the majority in favor of the minority. If the majority votes to have only a live draft, at which all teams, or a representative, must be present, then this should be required. I would have no problem kicking a friend out of a league if he could not live up to his obligations. Just my $0.02.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Thank you JV. I like my team as well, I have depth in the bench to even things out as well. Matty ICE will lead me to the promised land!!!!! We will see though, tough to make that call with 2 weeks of preseason to go.

Dut, I think overall the draft went pretty well. I will give you a B+. I had to win the Cooper family Olympics, so I could not make it down. You better believe I will be down next year.

FRY DAT CHICKEN!!!!!


----Lange

GMoney said...

Oh, the chicken will be fried if you show up next year. Just make sure that you quit spilling secrets to your dad. Commenter Jeff has spies EVERYWHERE.

I feel like this is going back to "Blame Dut" territory again which it should not. Many of you guys are way younger and less married than me so you don't quite yet realize how ELITE Draft Day is. You will in time. Right now, it's just another day to drink. In a few years, you'll see.

I still don't see how anyone would bitch if they can't make the live draft or could not Skype through it OR find a body to draft their team. That's THREE chances. If you fail at all of those, to quote Kenny Powers, "you're fucking out and I'm (or someone else) is fucking in".

Iceman kicked out the commish? That is pretty ELITE.

GMoney said...

Oh, and Lange, you would have been very pleased at your notoriety in the Dut basement (room temperature being 110 degrees). Every other player that was brought out, someone said:

"This guy is a classic Lange guy".

That is probably why you were the last pick in the divisional draft. RESPECK.

Mr. Ace said...

Fuck you, Lil Strut. "I am coaching St. Paul Football this year and I just realized we have a game on September 4 in Ayersville at 5 p.m. I am worried that 8:30 may be cutting it close. Could we move the draft to 9 p.m. or to another night?"
-Lil Strut.

There are alot of things I will change the draft time for, but anything brought to us by jesus on a Tuesday is not one of them. What say you, MSFL fagowners?

People would make it to the draft if they knew they wouldn't have a spot if they couldn't. Pretty simple.

I say we call Dut out on his threat of penalties for not paying by Week 1. Nobody pay til Week 12.

Anonymous said...

Fully agree on that "make up for kids" line. I was laughing hard at that. I even chuckled this morning over it.

I said this during the draft and Ill say it again. Check your calender and lets set a date soon so everyone, young, old, married, redheads can plan to go. A weekend to dull Cbus shouldnt hit the pockets that much.

I blame Dut because i had every intention of being there this year.

Ide

Ide

Anonymous said...

Ace,

It is a 1/2 hour imposition for pretty good cause. Ultimately, if the majority objects, I will do everything in my power to make it work at 8:30.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Also, Ace, when are we doing divisional picks? Draft night?

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

- I agree live > online. Online does not allow you to nominate retired/deceased players.

- The size of dut's glory hole would make Jabar Gaffney blush.

- Me likey our stable of WRs. May even win one of our first 7 games this year.

-Rex

GMoney said...

LS, it's already a tricky balance with Grumpy's bedtime and FagNasty's work schedule. How about this: don't pass. Run the notherfucker constantly. If you can't get a kid's game done in 2.5 hours then you shouldn't be coaching.

If you're late, let your future missus draft for you. It worked for Boz yesterday!

Mr. Ace said...

I disagree with it being a good cause. Nothing worthwhile ever came our of St. Paul middle school football. A half hour doesn't bother me though....OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT WE HAVE ALREADY DECIDED ON 8:30 AND GRUMPY HATES CHANGE!!!!

Divisional picks will be draft night.

The buy-in is still $40. You can send your payments via PayPal @MoneyShotFantasies@gmail.com. Or mail them to me. I will send out my new address today.

Anonymous said...

My fiance' would fail miserably in drafting a fantasy football team. Brady Quinn would be her first pick, because he is the only NFL player she knows. She would gladly pay $20 for him, too. She would then follow that up by asking the group if Jeff Smardzija plays in the NFL and can be drafted. He would easily be worth $10 in her mind.

To be clear, I should be able to make the 8:30 draft time. I was only asking to see if it wouldn't be an imposition.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

I knew Iceman, as a fellow Crusader, would support my efforts at giving back to the community. Ace is just jealous of our Christian upbringings. He longs for spiritual guidance.

-Lil' Strut

Grumpy said...

Will the bank take a check made out to "Mr. Ace"?

Don't use me as a crutch to hang LS out for doing God's work with children. Anybody who gives of his time to keep the little bastards away from soccer deserves our respect.

Prime99 said...

9pm Eastern would help me out, but I'll make it work either way.

Mr. Ace said...

St. Paul football is basically soccer.

Prime99 said...

By the way, I had my laptop going for predraft research and this site was on one tab. The Peppermill flagged my computer for "malicious intent" due to this site. Luckily I had a print out ready to go because my laptop was locked up on their wifi.

GMoney said...

Is there anything I can do to move up?--Killing people off would be a great place to start. It would give you instant internet cred.

It's 8:30. No change now. If LS is going to be a little late, he can let Ace know. Only losers donate their time anyway.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the support, Grumpy. If Fagnasty has to be at work at 11(??) though, then that is a good enough excuse to keep it where it is. I should be able to be back in time.

Mrs. Ace is a fellow St. Paul Alum and Mr. Ace was "married" at St. Paul. His hatred towards the fine educational institution is troubling. Again, though, I think it is because of pure jealousy.

-Lil' Strut

Brady said...

Killing people off. Gotcha! Over the next year it's going to be the Moneyshot Final Destination classic.

Rustle in the bushes? It must have been an animal.

Creaking on the stairs in the middle of the night? Probably just the house "settling".

Nuclear missle pointed at your front door? Umm, that's probably me.

tlachey said...

LOLz at Brady...

GMoney said...

Tonya, you'll be happy to know that Drew is online stalking the hell out of you in an attempt to get a positive ID. He's doing God's work.

tlachey said...

Stalking me, huh? He could've just asked and I would've given him my Facebook url... Some bright followers you have here G$.

Anonymous said...

Subtlety is for fags here. G$ let it slip who this J-Rupe is. I (a complete stranger) just friend requested him. This can only end awesomely. Unless he treats me like Brady.

Also, I am moving my ELITE shit story to tomorrow. You will thank me when NBA is again discussed

Ide

Grumpy said...

You don't need to "friend" J-Rupe. His page is open for anyone to read. At least it was last week.

Tonya said...

Nice work G$, Drew does the dirty work and you get to reap the benefits. Well played, kind sir, well played!

GMoney said...

I am very sad to see that you are friends with Brady and The Iceman Klan.

Tonya said...

If I wasn't though, you may have never found me... And "friends with" is a very strong expression, I like to think of us as acquaintances.

Anonymous said...

buy zolpidem online zolpidem 74 teva - generic name for zolpidem

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online no prescription cheap can u buy xanax mexico - xanax overdose death

Anonymous said...

buy diazepam diazepam online pharmacy usa - are diazepam and xanax the same

Anonymous said...

diazepam online much 10mg diazepam - diazepam brand names

Anonymous said...

xanax drug xanax bars footballs - xanax online mexico

Anonymous said...

diazepam 10 mg what is diazepam used for in dogs - diazepam usual dosage

Anonymous said...

buy valium online buy valium online fast delivery - valium japan

Anonymous said...

buy zolpidem zolpidem tartrate er 12.5 - zolpidem walmart

Anonymous said...

buy xanax bars online no prescription overdose on xanax how much - xanax hiccups

Anonymous said...

buy diazepam online what is diazepam 5mg tablet - venta de diazepam online

Anonymous said...

diazepam generics buy diazepam 5mg - cost generic diazepam

Anonymous said...

xanax for sale xanax for cheap online - xanax bars 555 tv 1003

Anonymous said...

ativan online buy ativan mastercard - high off ativan

Anonymous said...

buy ativan online ativan dosage muscle relaxant - ativan side effects sleep

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online overnight buy alprazolam no prescription - order xanax online overnight

Anonymous said...

order xanax online pictures of generic xanax - xanax dosage pictures xanax

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online ambien zolpidem same - ambien drug withdrawal

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online ambien cr 25 mg - ambien wellbutrin drug interactions

Anonymous said...

soma muscle relaxant buy hgh - somatropin online - carisoprodol tab 350mg

Anonymous said...

ambien pill ambien pill identifier - ambien cr withdrawal

Anonymous said...

order soma online soma carisoprodol overdose - kind medication soma

Anonymous said...

diazepam no prescription buy valium uk no prescription - generic term valium

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online 10 mg ambien lot - there generic ambien cr

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol online generic soma for sale - buy tickets soma san diego

Anonymous said...

buy soma somanabolic muscle maximizer login page - buy soma overnight delivery

Anonymous said...

buy valium online canada does valium drug do - buy valium online forum

Anonymous said...

diazepam online valium compared to klonopin - valium 10 side effects

Anonymous said...

ambien no prescription ambien drug family - zolpidem ambien withdrawal

Anonymous said...

valium drug there generic drug valium - 5 mg valium vs .5 mg xanax

Anonymous said...

buy valium roche where can i buy valium online yahoo answers - how much does valium cost on the street