Friday, July 27, 2012
Greetings from Knoxville, Tennessee. At least that's where I was physically when I wrote this. Mentally I was in a special kind of hell with the reality of seven more hours left in a van with my family setting in like a sledge hammy to the tender sack. Seven more hours of eating my brother's nuclear fucking beer farts. Seven more hours of my mom trying to hop into fantasy football discussions in order to give her ELITE observation of Aaron Rodgers being "good". Not sure if you all knew that but there's some classified info for you. Seven more hours of dying slowly. But more importantly, Knoxville is where I realized it'll be 3am when I get home and there was no fucking way I was writing anything useful at that time on the heals of a 16 hour van ride.
First... Family vacations suck hairy hillbilly tit. Don't get me wrong, the P's picking up the tab on almost everything is marvelous but the sanity that you must sacrifice in order for this to happen almost makes it not worth the hassle. From my mom casually bringing up how attractive all of my ex GFs were in front of my current GF to the 50 piss stops on the ride home since everyone is on a different bladder schedule...let's just say it's good to be home. Now, onto the post.
I logged onto ESPN this evening and read that Bret Bielema doesn't plan on recruiting current Penn St players that are eligible for transfer. What. A. Pussy. I was really bothered by this when I read it and I'm trying to figure out why. So I'll just keep typing and hope I can figure it out along the way.
Recruiting is dirty. Always has been and will continue to be until the end of time. It's a smear campaign against all other schools in order to convince a player to pick you over anyone else. They say shit like..."Urban Meyer fucks himself with whole dill pickles while he masturbates. You don't want to play for a guy like that, do you?". "Kirk Ferentz still watches his mother change into her bathing suit through a glory hole he made when he was 9. Is that someone you can trust your next four years of football to?". "Mark Dantonio sobbed uncontrollably into his wife's old saggy tits during the majority of Marley and Me. What a bitch, right?". At least that's what I envision goes on. No one holds back when it comes to recruiting and there is no honor among thieves. Eat or be eaten, right? Pick whatever cliche you like but the fact is if you want to win you do anything you can, within the rules, to get the people that help you do that. If you don't, you're looking for a new job.
So what am I trying to say here? I guess the reason I'm so pissed about Bielema (among others) taking the "high road" is because Penn State didn't do that when they recruited these kids. In fact, they flat out lied to everyone in order to wrongly gain their trust and commitment. They didn't honor some "code" Bielema was gushing about when ESPN inteviewed him. The reality is they hid a child sex scandal for years to give the illusion they were a place you could safely and respectfully get a good education while playing football. In my opinion, Penn State doesn't deserve the luxury Bielema is allowing them. So why in the fuck would you, as a coach, give PSU the respect they never gave you in the beginning when the recruiting was going on? Why would you cite a "Big Ten coaching brotherhood" when one really doesn't exist? Or at least one Penn State never adhered to. Personally, I would go after every kid at PSU that I wanted to play for me. Because these are most likely players I wanted but chose Penn State over me because of lies. Not only lies...but known lies that were being wrongfully covered up. You fuck with me, I'll fuck with you right back. And if that means I hit you at your lowest point then so be it. Like I stated before, recruiting is dirty...and It didn't seem to bother you when you were straight lying to the players and their families in order to gain their trust. So it doesn't bother me to serve a hot plate of fucking justice by taking back what should have never been yours to begin with. So my call is poach and poach often in this situation. You reap what you sow, motherfuckers.
Well, that's all I've got, queers. It ain't much...but it's something. Vacation tapped me the fuck out and writing on an IPad can blow me. So...does that make sense to anyone but me? What would you do? Feeding frenzy or wash pussies with Bielema?