Friday, June 22, 2012

This Will Make No Sense If OKC Won Last Night

Dear LeBron,

If you’re reading this letter then that means that you finally did it and I swallowed enough Drano to kill Gary Busey. You are an NBA champion at last. I’m sure that it was a long, tough, and stressful journey for you but it is over. You can finally say goodbye to Karl Malone and Charles Barkley and other ringless wonders for you will be kissing the Larry O’Brien Trophy for the rest of the summer.

A lot of emotions have been stirring up inside of me during this year’s playoffs. I kept most of them locked up with the plan to reveal them at the right time. Well, there probably isn’t a more right time than now. I don’t want to dwell on the past any longer. Holding a grudge is something that I will do for the rest of your career, but it isn’t something that will consume me like it has over the last two years. You and I both know the details and nothing can be said or done to make me accept what happened two years ago. Basically, I just want you to know that you made me a die-hard NBA fan again and I supported you even when you refused to shake hands after a playoff series loss and wanted to be a global icon and showed up all of your opponents. I was behind you 100%. And my reward for that was a hot, steamy shit all over my forehead. Just because I'm German doesn't mean that I like to be shit on. But enough about that—this line of thinking isn’t going to get us anywhere.

Something funny happened to me after game 3 of your series with Indiana this year. You guys lost so I felt inclined to watch your post-game press conference just to get some laughs. However, just watching you react like a normal person, I actually felt sympathy for you. You were carrying yourself like a guy who had the entire weight of the world on your shoulders and that it was beginning to crush you. I thought that I saw an innocence that I interpreted as a person that was in over his head. I felt bad for you. But then my big, smart brain reminded me that you asked for ALL OF THIS so I went back to my usual logic of despising you at all costs. Just know, though, that for an instant I was back on your side once more.

Ever since that moment, you have changed. Since game 3 in Indianapolis, there is a different aura around you. You aren’t mean-mugging your opponents now. You aren’t pandering to the crowd anymore. You almost looked detached. What we as fans once knew of you and your style is completely gone. Whatever happened, something changed and you have carried yourself with a win-at-all-costs demeanor. It’s almost as if you are now Kobe Bryant out there. It has seriously been a pleasure to watch. Like I said, I don’t know what was the turning point or what made it finally click for you, but it looks like the switch has finally been turned up to 11 for good and you have realized that championships are all that matters. Bill Simmons said it best:
I don't care how much you hated "The Decision" — if you can't appreciate what LeBron James is doing right now, you need to start following another sport. It's one of the greatest night-to-night athletic feats we have ever witnessed.
And he’s right. This is what everyone wanted to see from you since you came into the league: the stone cold killer who attacks the game and never settles. It is unfortunate that you never understood this while in Cleveland, but it is refreshing to see that you finally “get” it. You get what is important. It’s not about branding or being an icon or making the top ten every night—it is about being the BEST. And it appears that that is what matters to you now. You’ve grown up.  It sort of sucks that I can't cheer for this version of LeBron.

I hope that you see what I see now that you have that illusive ring. I see that it was never about not having players around you. It was always about you wanting it. You didn’t need Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. You really didn’t. You needed to be Kobe Bryant. It was always that. It was always about taking the game and championships as seriously as they are. Basketball is a fun game but to be the best, you have to outwork everybody and want it more. You said that you wanted championships over the first 8 years of your career but your actions never matched with your words. Now they do and now you are being rewarded. Just know that one insignificant blogger out here truly believes that THIS LeBron that we saw in the summer of 2012 could win a title anywhere and with anyone. You did not have to destroy your legacy and charm to get to where you are now.

I am still having a hard time figuring out how I feel about this though. I’m not sad that you won. I’m not angry. I’m certainly not happy or proud. When you came into the league, we were told that you reaching the mountain top was just a formality. You were going to win rings by the fistful. It took a lot longer than we all expected, but you did it and now a lot of the haters of the world like Dan Gilbert, myself, and the rest of America get to swallow all of your shit. I guess that if I had to sum up my emotions right now, I would say that I’m going through the final step of The 5 Steps of Grieving. I’ve reached acceptance. I accept that no matter how hard I cheered against you and how much I wanted you to keep failing, you were too great of a player to keep coming up short. So I have no other choice than to accept you as a champion. Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t think that this justifies what you did, but I have accepted it and maybe now I can finally move on.

I will never come out and say “congratulations” because part of being a great sports fan is to never give in to your hate. But I have had to watch the Red Sox and Cowboys win a combined 5 titles so it’s not like it is the first time that I’ve had to eat shit. I guess that the best I can do is tip my cap to a hell of a basketball player that finally put it all together and achieved his dream even if it was at the expense of me.

Just know that I will always root for you to lose until the day that you retire and probably until the day that I die.  I am neither forgetting about what happened or forgiving you, but as a sports fan, I don't like to see wasted talent.

Whew, I feel better. Hell, if I've got to watch scumbags like John Calipari and Jeff Carter win a title this year, we might as well crown your ass while were at it.



Grumpy said...

Very mature, not what I expected at all.

GMoney said...

Yeah, I think it is one of the best things that I've written here. My feelings definitely changed about him over the past two months. At least now there is some closure and hopefully we can all move on.

But on another note, fuck the Thunder. Pieces of shit can't even play any defense.

Jeff said...

Figured this was a good time to chime back in for the first time in a long time.

Great post G$. I was never a cavs fan, always a Lebron fan. He did handle the decision terribly, but I can respect that even though you will always hate lebron for leaving and the way he handled it, that you have moved on to accepting and recognizing his greatness on the floor and what he did in the finals.

Long live the King!

Anonymous said...

LeBron is just getting started grinding that taint all over every Cleveland fan's nose!


GMoney said...

This post would have been much better if the Heat failed again because it was going to pretty much just be me throwing on my Robin Williams beard and arm hair and constantly reminding him that it wasn't his fault. Because it wouldn't have been. He did EVERYTHING for that team.

Honestly, I would rather see it end like this--with him straight PWNing--then to see Miami win a title and him playing like a 'fraidy cat as he has been known to do. Somehow this is more acceptable to me.

Either way, congratulations to Eddy Curry and Juwan Howard...your long journeys to a title are over!!!

Grumpy said...

Especially Juwan Howard; the last member of the Fab Five and the only one to get a ring of any kind. Nineteen years of hard work and consistency finally paid off.

GMoney said...

the last member of the Fab Five and the only one to get a ring of any kind

I'm pretty sure that Jimmy King has a cock ring. Does that count? Wait a minute--how would I know that? That joke really blew up in my face...kind of like Jimmy King. DAMMIT!

The Iceman said...

I'm proud of you, G$.

James Harden is a faggot. I fucking hate that guy now. I thought he was a dirtball when Lebron's elbow barely grazed his beard hair and he acted like Artest brained him again. But then...that little fuck face shot a 3 and leaned into the defender when he landed. When the contact that HE initiated wasn't enough to draw a foul, to really sell it, he pulled the defender to the floor by his jersey. To top it off when it was all over he threw his hands up to the official asking where the foul was. The foul? On YOU?? You fuckin cock sucker.

Anonymous said...

Last two comments by Grumpy and G$ were tremendous.

G$....When we burning the Q down?


GMoney said...

It was not a banner series for Harden. He probably cost himself some cash with that clunker.

You should be proud of me. I am your superior. I was curious to see how I would react to this whole shitshow. "Indifference" was a pleasant surprise. Hell, I went to bed with about six minutes to go so it's not like I had to watch those championship-starved Miami Heat fans celebrate with their butt-fucking players anyway. This gives me a perfect excuse to not watch ESPN for the next week.

Prime99 said...

I watched the game at a bar and there was an active contingent a "Heat fans" cheering loudly. This prompted me to think about if I've ever met a true Heat fan. The answer is no. Much like the Jordan bandwagon jumpers of the 90s, The recent Heat fans suck.

James Harden still has a very elbowable face.

Sounds like Jimmy King likely gave G$ a Roman War Helmet.

GMoney said...

I'm much too lazy for arson. OH FUCK! I almost forgot; thanks for reminding me.

Remember how last week I had to concede my effort to be a reality show global icon? It turns out that that wasn't exactly true. My application, which was sent as certified mail mind you and I have confirmation that it was received in CA on 4/28, was returned back to me unopened yesterday (which was 6/21) and had REFUSED stamped on it multiple times. What the fuck? They didn't even see my application? WHY? I did everything that they asked! Fucking bullshit. These people are RACIST.

Just know that due to this INJUSTICE, I would like to announce right now that I am going for it next year. Maybe next year they'll actually open their goddamn mail.

Prime99 said...

Cowherd is ranting about state tax again this morning. LeBron winning is bad for Cowherd rants... It would only be trumped by a Tony Romo championship.

Sucks about the unopened package. Bullshit.

GMoney said...

I see that it was never about not having players around you. It was always about you wanting it. You didn’t need Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. You really didn’t. You needed to be Kobe Bryant. It was always that. It was always about taking the game and championships as seriously as they are.

--I'm surprised that none of you have agreed or taken shots at me yet for that blurb which I still feel is 100% correct

Anonymous said...

REFUSED? More like OWNED! Amirite?


Anonymous said...

Please avoid Cowherd this morning at all costs. Woke up at 10:30 (vacation rules) and turned him on in the middle of him replaying Joakim Faggot's anti-Cleveland rant from a couple years ago and Cowherd, wearing his Lebron black frame glasses,nodding in pleasure. He is in full douche mode this morning. I would rather listen to Demetrius Stanley break down baseball.


GMoney said...

It's really mind-boggling how Cowherd can continue his act. What exactly makes the "haters" wrong? How does a title make him and the rest of the trolls right? The only thing that makes him right is if he knows a ton of people that believe that LeBron sucks. Do you know anyone that thinks that? I don't. It's like he doesn't understand that no one respects him as a person, but everyone does as a player. But yeah, I'm not even going to turn on my radio at lunch today.

Brady said...

REFUSED?! That shit is whack. You have to gor for it next year G$.

I feel a great sense of relief that the NBA season is over. Now we can all concentrate on what really matters. NFL training camps, college FB practices and the MLB division races are ininitely more interesting than LeBron and his band of retards.

The Iceman said...

"You should be proud of me. I am your superior"

Let me kindly refer you to this post:

Cowherd gave a speech this morning where he pledged alligence to Lebron. The queerdom was off the charts.

Let me be the first to disagree with that statement, G$. The only team in the last probably 20+ years to win a title without at least 2 sure fire HOF players was Detroit. And that team may even accidentally have 2 of that squad wind up in the hall. He absolutely needed at least Wade to win that ring. Bosh definitely didn't hurt. But he wasn't getting that ring with Jamison, PubeFro and Mo Williams.

Anonymous said...

Future of the Heat are Bosh and Bron....Wade willl kick it in gear on the side when those two aren't running things.

Next year G$ should do my idea for Big Brother.


Anonymous said...

Drew Magary nailed it over at deadspin.

Colin Cowherd said...


GMoney said...

Ice, it's not like I'm saying that he could with Wade and Bosh being replaced by Jamario Moon and Jason Maxiell; just that the idea that he had to join up specifically with those two was unnecessary and short-sighted.

The way that he played this year, they would have won a title if wade was replaced by someone like Iguodala and Bosh was replaced by like an Al Jefferson type. And plus it would not have killed his reputation.

Colin is fucking terrible. I hope that someone murders him.

The Iceman said...

So where else was he supposed to go that wasn't short sighted? Gilbert wasn't bringing in the right pieces for him to win in Cleveland. Not to mention that all of the teams going after Lebron already had Wade and Bosh types in place. So no matter where he went, outside of Cleveland, this idea that he "had to team up with superstars" was pretty much unavoidable. If people weren't going to hate him for joining Wade in Miami, they were going to hate him for joining Rose in Chicago, or Amare (and eventually Carmelo) in New York, etc.

My point is that with Cleveland's roster, he wasn't going to win there. You could make the argument that he DID play like that in Cleveland and DID want it that bad in Cleveland. We just couldn't see it because we were blinded by the shittiness of that roster and really took for granted how special he was playing there along side poop supporting cast.

Look, I know that team had the best record in the NBA for like...two years in a row or something. But the exact same roster minus Lebron the next year was a few games from being the worst team in the league. What does that tell you about the talent surrounding him in Cleveland? Terrible.

GMoney said...

I guess that is where we'll have to disagree then. Had he played in 2009 and 2010 like he did in 2012, he would have won.

Blue Jackets trade for Sergei Bobrovsky! SWEET, when you can give up 3 draft picks for a guy that is just barely better than Steve Mason, YOU DO IT!!!

GMoney said...

I just got around to reading Schnitkey's better version of my blog over at WFNY. That guy can write.

The Iceman said...

Agree. I've read quite a bit of his stuff when I stumbled upon WFNY about a year ago. You can tell he's an Ohio guy but a lot of his stuff is pretty unbiased. The stuff that I read anyway.

Grumpy said...

One more year with Wally World and they would have won it.