|Chin up, Tom Brady, this isn't the end of the world.|
All #BB14 semi finalists have been contacted. Finalist decisions have not been made yet.So the dream is over. Some-fucking-how they did not fall in love with this gorgeous mug. It’s their loss. Good luck trying to beat the Olympics in the Nielsen ratings without me, you FAGGOTS!!! It can not be done. I HELD THE KEY TO RATINGS DOMINATION. But, it’s not all bad news. Actually, I was able to come up with 10 facts that constitute good news!
— Robyn Kass (@Kassting) June 1, 2012
10. I don’t have to leave She$ and the dog for 2-3 months. I’m writing this just in case the missus checks in today. Considering that she is halfway through a million hour work week, I doubt it. But still, I better be safe. Plus I’d really miss the dog and his love of trying to push me out of bed in the middle of the night.
8. Hey, at least now I get to watch the show and make snide remarks about how much better and more entertaining I am than the assholes that they picked over me. It’s going to be a weird summer in that aspect. I love this show. It is the best thing on in the summer. I hope that I can sit there for three hours every week and not carry any animosity toward it.
7. Now we can finally spend our income tax refund. The wife told me that we weren’t going to spend that money until we knew for sure if I was going to be on as it would help her out with bills and whatnot while I would be in the BB house. We are getting a new flatscreen for the bedroom and I get to pick it out. That is my kind of shopping. She can pick out the new fucking water heater. I don’t care about that.
6. Another year without my dong appearing on the internet. Here’s the thing about Big Brother: cameras are literally everywhere and they are constantly rolling. When you change clothes, it is all broadcast live throughout the world. There are numerous sites that aren’t hard to find that post stills of nudity in the house. It is a huge violation of common decency (but it can be arousing!). Keeping L’il $ covered up isn’t the worst thing in the world.
5. Drew promised to burn down CBS if they denied me. GO FUCKING GET ‘EM, KID!
4. I will be able to attend all of my fantasy football drafts this year AND DEFEND MY TITLES IN PERSON. As I mentioned after I won them, there will be a coronation ceremony and it will be extremely flamboyantly gay. I earned the right to be a Queen for a year, n-words.
3. I had lined up Andy K/Jionni to draft my DFL team. Now that is unnecessary. I dodged a YUGE bullet there! Thanks for volunteering though but YOU’RE FIRED!
2. I will be in attendance for the Miami/Ohio State football game (tickets have been secured) to watch the Urban Meyer Era start 0-1. This will be followed by me running onto the field (naked?) and spending the night in jail. I can’t wait.
1. Nothing about this blog will change. I was sort of worried about that; about new roles being carved for everyone. It’s sort of like how the Yankees were so used to having the man available in the 9th inning for 15 years and then all of a sudden, he was gone. In this analogy, I am blogging’s version of the greatest closer of all time. Fear not because my knee ligaments are just fine. I didn’t want to have to ask Iceman to go three days per week while Drew and Grumpy each take a day anyway. Yeah, that was my plan. Don’t worry; it isn’t going to be put into action.
Obviously, it’s disappointing as no one likes to be rejected but since they just sort of ignored my request to take their show to the next level, I’ll deal with it. It isn’t like I’m sitting here and contemplating the Junior Seau way out. He was a pussy. I am not! I said all along that I was only go to try this once and, while I meant it, who knows, maybe I’ll get the itch again in 6 months and will want to try one more time. So there you go; you won’t be able to brag about how you know a really famous person. You’ll just have to keep talking about the time that you wore a baja shirt with Gerald Laird down in Cincinnati. Again, sorry to disappoint and we have a wide following of lawyers here that can represent you in your arson trial, Drew.