Friday, June 01, 2012

Open Forum: Hangover Cures

Pretty much...
I'm taking a much needed "mental health" day today. Not really, but my boy is getting married this evening and I’m playing golf this morning (with a nap somewhere in there) so I’m sort of taking today off. Don’t worry; as you can tell by the title, there will be a topic to discuss today. It’s just that I won’t be contributing much toward it in the comments. I’ll be checking in though so no dick shots.

Anyway, as I said, I’ll be downtown for a wedding tonight. Since most of my BRAHS are in town, shit is about to get sloppy. The wife knows that it’s going down and she’s letting me off my leash. This can only lead to good things. She even beat me to the punch by saying that she would go home to take care of the dog after the reception and I could just pass out on a hotel room floor and not worry about anything. Sometimes she’s alright! Clearly, she knows me too well.

Needless to say, come Saturday morning, I am going to be a dragon-breathed corpse. Slowly but surely, as I age, my hangovers are progressively getting worse. It’s not that they hurt, per se, but just that I am way more sloth-like than I used to be. I guarantee that I lay on the couch for at least 6 hours the following day. Now back in my awesome college binge-drinking days, I used to have a full proof system for hangover defeat. I didn’t turn it into the New England Journal of Medicine or anything, but a bottle of chocolate milk and a double cheeseburger from any fast food grease trap did the trick every time. That lovely combo would crush HighLife-itis every single morning after.

Now, I pretty much just slug a pot of coffee and take 8 shits before lunch as a means to deal with the pain. It’s not really effective but I can think of worse places to be than on my toilet.

And that is the topic for today’s open forum…How do our commenters combat the cursed hangover? I feel like smoothies would work. I can’t imagine that fruit would be a bad thing. I don’t know though; your thoughts?

If you’re looking for a fantasy football site to read today, check out my burgeoning brosephs here. I think that I’m going to assist in some mock fantasy drafts over there later this summer. They chose their experts wisely. My reputation of ELITEness precedes me. Have a good weekend and I’ll be back on Monday if I don’t drink myself into a coma tonight. Oh—speaking of which, if you’re going to be downtown tonight, text me and I’ll let you know where this certain blimp crash of a wedding reception ends up. Trust me; you’re going to want to see this.

16 comments:

Grumpy said...

A Bloody Mary for breakfast.

Anonymous said...

I don't really get hangovers except if I go hard for an entire weekend....then I feel real cracked out on Monday. I'm not sure if it's truly a hangover as I don't feel sick, but I just feel raw.

Anyways, I do have sort of a system on place. On big nights I usually wake up twice to take a piss before I truly wake up for the day. So, let's say I wake up at 4a.m. to do a drunken piss...I piss...then I chug a glass of water. I'll then wake up around 7:30...repeat the pee/water chuge process...then wake up for good around 9...pee...chug a water. By the last time, I think I've pretty much flushed my system out. It works for me...just remember to replace the piss with water everytime you wake up.

I'm doing a brewery tour in Cleveland all day tomorrow then going out up there at night. Looking forward to it. That doesn't mean that I won't find you tonight in Columbus.

--Drew

Irishman said...

Been awhile since I been on the moneyshot. And the first topic has me rolling.

I agree. The older I get the longer the recovery. Not so much pain or anything. Just sluggish. I used to get up still drunk. Go function. Play my best rounds of golf. Then do it all over again. Now after I tie one on. Its damn near Wednesday before I feel like anything normal! There are certain drinking events I now have to prepare myself for. That before would be no problem..

Im like G$. Lay around. Take naps. Take umpteen million shits. Whether its the late night pizza. taco Hell. Steak n Shake. .Its all running out the next day!

Not sure if I answered the post coreectly. But I have no remedy anymore. I bank on feeling like shit for a couple days.. But if I know i'll be drinking the next day. I'll get back into it as soon as I can.

IRISHMAN!

The Iceman said...

At this point in our lives I think it's less what is the cure and more what makes us feel less like hammered shit the next day.

I usually go with either a Gatorade or a giant ass cup of McDonald's orange Hi-C. Not only does it make me feel like a real person again, it gives me some street cred with my black brethren. I usually get an approving head nod or two on my way out. The second part of that equation is obviously something terrible and greasy to get those bowels moving. Nothing like a double QP to help diarrhea out everything you did the night before.

Anonymous said...

Back in college my worst hangovers only lasted a couple hours in the morning, no matter how much or what I drank the night before. My go-to was Chipotle the next day. Usually all the rice and the tortilla would soak up the bad stuff in my stomach and other stuff would get my digestive system moving again. Lately, though, there does not seem to be a cure.

I have noticed that if I stick with one type of drink, I do not feel very bad the next day. But if I mix beer and shots, or beer and wine, or wine and shots the next day is ruined. Also, lately I have been fine when I wake up and feel as if I only need to drink water to reenergize. However, my hangovers have actually been coming on in the afternoons, complete with headaches and vomiting. It is quite wierd.

Sleep seems like the best cure, so I do like Drew's idea of replacing fluids while you sleep. That kills two birds with one stone in my opinion.


-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

The best detox is a retox...

- Andy K.

Anonymous said...

Drew - what brewery? Great Lakes?

Seal

Devil Anse Hatfield said...

Fuck Hangovers! I reckon the blood of a McCoy or the sweet nectar of a whore's teat would do the trick.

Anonymous said...

Chipotle or the 10 pack of taco bell tacos followed by a nap.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Seal. We are having lunch and beers at Brew Kettle....then moving to Fat Head's for more beers and a tour....then going to Great Lakes for dinner and beers. We are staying at the Lakeside Doubletree.

Any suggestinos for any of those three breweries? What about a fun downtown bar to watch the Spurs/Thunder game tomorrow night?

Thanks...

--Drew

Brady said...

Mama Rosa's Frozen Pizza and Welch's Grape Pop. WINNER!

Anonymous said...

Brew Kettle is a good lunch spot and if you have a never been to Great Lakes you will enjoy it (might be pretty busy though around dinner).

If you are looking to stay downtown and watch the game, there is a tilted kilt right across the street from the new casino with a shit ton of flat screens and trashy girls to hit on. Barley house is over priced and filled with douche bag dudes. other than that, downtown doesnt have many sports bars - mainly nicer restaurants.

There are some good bars right around the corner from Great Lakes as well (Market Garden, Bier Garden). That area is called Ohio City.

If a titty bar comes into play, make sure you go to Christie's.

Seal

Anonymous said...

I think we're making a reservation at Great Lakes or have made one.

We'll definitely hit up those places around GLBC.

Thanks.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Hello everyone! That was a fucking wet disaster on the links today. Nothing better than playing 18 holes in the rain. Buke was still drunk until about hole 10. His score reflected that.

HOWEVAH, I beat Damman for the first time ever. I am ELITE at rain golf.

I ran into Dut last night. He was with some Nazi chick. I hate Dut. Groomed stubble still intact though. Makes me hate him even more.

The Iceman said...

As long as Dut continues to rock the stubble, you should refer to him as The Office Ryan Howard.

Anonymous said...

Dut's hanging out with Nazi chicks? Damn anti-semite.

--Drew