|Invisible Double HJ!|
Jared Sullinger is about to find this out the hard way as the likely certain top 5 pick in 2011 is about to find himself out of the lottery in 2012. Sullinger has been “red-flagged” by the medical staff of the NBA (likely tested at the Combine last week) due to his past and present (and they assume future, too) back issues. Those spasms that he had last December? Yeah, they are coming back to fuck him. Most are now speculating that Sullinger will not go in the top 14 and some teams have already classified him as a second rounder at best. I guess that some teams only draft players that they assume can play for 10-15 years (NBA teams are dumb).
First things first, obviously you can not predict the future. OJ Simpson seemed like the greatest guy in the world and he went on to murder his wife and a waiter. The past doesn’t always predict the future. Maybe Sullinger takes advantage of world class health professionals that NBA teams have and never has a back issue down the line. But unfortunately the cat is out of the bag and the stigma is now out there. NBA teams are being told that his body will not allow him to have a ten-plus year career in the league. As a guy that already had many doubters due to a lack of ELITE athleticism and was staring at a career as a poor man’s Carlos Boozer anyway, this is kind of a killer.
Second, ESPN reached out to Jared’s old man, Satch, for his take on this story. Satch, who is a basketball coach and most definitely not trained to diagnose anything other than the Mikan Drill (YES!) said that this is not a big deal at all. Jared just has tight hamstrings and other muscles! He’s getting deep tissue massages and doing yoga to STREMPHEN his core! Sorry, dad, but the damage has already been done and no one is believing your extremely biased opinion. But he’ll go to a better team for it.
The last player to get red-flagged like this was DeJuan Blair a few years ago. Now, Blair was not the prospect that Sullinger is, but if I recall, he was penciled in as a late first rounder. He ended up falling into the mid 2nd to San Antonio. However, things have worked out pretty well for the bruising big man with no knee ligaments so it can be done. As far as where I see Sullinger ending up, I had seen most projections for him going around 14 (give or take a few picks) to Houston. Now, I expect him to not make it past Boston’s 2 picks at 21 and 22. If he’s still around for Ainge, the Celtics would be all over him in my opinion. And if he’s still around at 24, I would be furious if the Cavs didn’t sprint to the podium.
Let this be a harsh reminder though: GO PRO. If this wasn’t enough of a lesson; please study the career of current Money Shot celebrity of the month, Greg Oden’s Penis (featuring Greg Oden). As far as the NBA Draft is concerned (a week from tomorrow!!!), The Iceman and I are currently involved in a high risk game of alternating picks Mock Drafting that will be unleashed on Draft Day. Excited? You better be! I’m picking for the Pistons! He’s picking for the Cavs! WORLDS ARE COLLIDING!!! A few other topics to wet your whistle in case you don’t want to discuss Jared Sullinger’s “back-iotomy”:
*Speaking of the Draft, it sounds like Harrison Barnes is sky-rocketing up the board right now. Rumor has it that both the Bulls and Celtics want to get into the top 4-5 and take this kid. That’s interesting considering that Barnes looks like he’d rather be doing anything else than play basketball over the last two years. But these are two smart teams so maybe they know something that we don’t. I can’t see either team being able to pull it off though. The Bulls don’t have any non-Rose pieces that anyone wants and the Celtics’ best offer would likely be Pierce, #21, and #22 and that won’t cut it. Either way, it makes me feel a lot better about the prospect of Barnes ending up in Believeland.
*Game 4…is it over? Because if the Thunder didn’t win last night then it’s over and I need to start preparing my 8,000 word post about LeBron and I do not want to write that yet.
*Michael Jordan just hired the ASSISTANT coach from St. John’s University to be the new HEAD coach of his Bobcats. Michael Jordan knows absolutely nothing about basketball. NOTHING AT ALL. Although if the alternative was a coked-up Quin Snyder than Charlotte needs to get their team taken away again. They literally have zero talent outside of the Byron James Triple Threat. I can’t wait to see who they take at #2 next week. It’s going to be awful. Maybe they’ll re-draft Bismack Biyombo!
*Roger Clemens is INNOCENT! I don’t particularly care about this except that it’s quite obvious that the great Rusty Hardin is an ELITE hillbilly lawyer.
Time for me to skedaddle, I’ve got to get to my yoga class and then spend three hours Mikan-ing the shit out of the paint (DOUBLE YES!). This blog leads the nation in Mikan Drill references.