Friday, June 29, 2012

The Cavs Are Just Going To Keep Ignoring The LeBron-Sized Elephant In The Room

SHUT UP!  I DON'T WANT YOU!
Jesus fucking Christ.  Are you kidding me?  I had planned to do a whole winners and losers from the NBA Draft today but when my team gets a worse grade than teams without picks, well, prepare for a rant.

My Cavs went into the Draft with picks 4, 24, 33, and 34.  In theory, they were going to build some much needed depth.  In my mind, I was excited at the thought of putting a star and three solid role players around our already budding superstar.  What I got...was not so much.

Look, the worst case scenario happened and that was MKG and Beal going 2 and 3.  It was OK though because our front office has loved Harrison Barnes for years and there are some that think that we would have taken him #1 overall last year had he come out.  You can do a lot worse than a 1-2 of Uncle Drew and Barnes.

With the 4th pick in the NBA Draft, the Cleveland Cavaliers select Dion Waiters from Syracuse University.

WHAT THE FUCK!  It wasn't that hard of a choice.  Hell, Chad Ford said earlier in the day that the Cavs had narrowed it down to Beal, MKG, and Barnes (nice call there, faggot).  In a draft which contains 5 sure things, Chris Grant took the 8th best player overall at #4.  OMG.  How is this even possible?  Where am I?  On a team with almost zero outside shooting, they WASTE the #4 pick on a guy that sucks as a shooter?  FIRE EVERYONE IN THAT WAR ROOM TODAY.  I would have rather gotten abused by Michael Jordan in a trade up to 2 than to take a 6'4" fucking combo guard from a school that doesn't teach defense. 

Maybe they didn't care for Harrison Barnes; that's fine.  But why would you draft a guy at FOUR that refused to work out for ANY team?  What exactly made you fall in love with him?  I want goddamn answers here.  If there is one positive about Waiters, he does get to the rim at will and is built like a tank.  But that is the problem.  I'm afraid that our management staff thinks that they just got the next Wade and I'm about 99% sure that that isn't true.

I'm not worried about how he never started at Syracuse.  Who cares?  The coaches there like to touch little boys.  He was the best player on the team by far and closed every game.  I don't why he was a sixth man and I don't care.  Not hearing his name announced when the lights are out doesn't make him shit.  If you think that that is a big deal then you are a tard and should work for the Cavs.

However, I am pretty excited about the team coming up and getting Tyler Zeller.  They gave up the rest of the draft to get him, but he fits in extremely well and is going to be a rock solid player in the league for a decade plus.  He runs the floor well, rebounds, and shoots free throws well.  I like this pick a lot.  It sucks to give up 3 picks, but a team that drafts Dion Waiters at 4 shouldn't be allowed to draft more than 2 players anyway.  Zeller is just a really good player that a really dumb team just landed.

I don't know--maybe I'm overreacting.  Usually, when you are picking high you need a superstar and we already have ours.  Maybe Waiters is going to be a solid #2 player for the team and Zeller does his thing in the middle.  It still doesn't hide the fact that LeBron left two years ago and we still have done nothing to replace him.

It's just disappointing to go in thinking that you are going to stock the cupboards and end up with two players; one of which you never wanted and was a reach.  I will change my stance on firing everyone, I suppose, but this front office is on notice: Waiters and Zeller better hit or you're all fucking fired.  Other notes:

*Sullinger to the Celtics--who called that?  Not Drew because he is dumb.
*Enjoy Andre Drummond.  Iceman hates it, Drew loves it.  I'm going to need The Wig Master to break the tie!
*One more thing about the Cavs: Michael Jordan fucked us over again.  Charlotte is the ONLY team out there where MKG wouldn't be a good fit.
*Anthony Davis's pre-Draft meal was a dozen tin cans.
*The ESPN coverage was very good.

Whatever, I'm done.  Time to start chugging Drano.

57 comments:

Grumpy said...

That was a real reach of a pick. I could just see your head exploding when it was announced.

What's up with the love for Barnes? You've been bashing him for two years and now you would have been happy to have him?

Anonymous said...

Andre Fuckin' Drummond.

Love it.

Also, love the Cavs choking on a cock when their top two choices went away.

--Drew

The Iceman said...

Drummond better start from day one and he better be what you say he is, Drew. I almost gagged when Stern called his name.

Dion Waiters. I can't stop cracking up.

What about Perry Jones falling right into OKC's lap AND Miami passing on him?

MUDawgfan said...

Jay Bilas quote on the Atlanta Hawks first round pick, John Jenkins of Vanderbilt.

"Not someone who is terribly athletic and doesn't go to the rim very much, uses screens but doesn't have the immediate ability to create his own shot. Needs to get stronger to stay on the floor for extended periods of time and doesn't play a tremendous amount of defense."


The Hawks just pretty much drafted Drew.

GMoney said...

After what felt like hours or laying in bed and staring at the ceiling fan, I've reached a new conclusion: Why the fuck am I so mad about not getting Harrison Barnes? I mean, he has red flags out the ass even with all of his talent. Grumpy is right. He would have made more sense (a ton more) at 4, but UNC fans hate him for a reason.

I don't know what to think: almost everyone that does winners and losers has us as a winner. Thought Van Gundy saying that the Thunder and Heat are winners because of who they have already made me want to puke. If the analysts like what Grant did, then I probably should come around on it, too.

Waiters was a definite top 8 pick. He went 4. I guess that that is not too big of a reach and it does fill a hole. Don't look at me like that; I'm searching for positives here!

The Zeller pick was tremendous though. Did you see who Dallas picked with those three picks and who was even available anyway? Terrible players/projects.

Other notes now that I've calmed down:
*I thought that Houston killed their three choices. All of them were solid.
*The Celtics took Sully, Fab, and Kris Joseph which tells me that they only scouted the regional final game in Boston.
*I guarantee that Van Gundy's ringtone is "Call Me Maybe".

DION WAITERS, N-WORD! Ugh, even I don't believe that. But he better be some sort of carbon copy of Wade.

GMoney said...

I liked the Hawks getting Jenkins and Mike Scott. Those are two rotation guys immediately.

But yeah, one more time, that cocksucker Jordan TOTES fucked us again.

Anonymous said...

Fuck Jordan. The feeling I got when they called MKG's name at two sucked. I really wanted him to be a Cav.

Seal

Daniel said...

On an unrelated note there are innanet rumors out there that someone has some dirt on RG3 and was trying to extort some money. What I read is that he may enjoy being under center more than your average qb... And that was the info this dude was using to get money.

I thought he was engaged?

GMoney said...

Daniel, don't you be starting trouble 'round here! We all know that RGIII loves the white girls. History has shown that the Baylor athletic department is one of the most bizarre places around.

Seal, what are your thoughts on the Cavs moves? You seemed pretty pissed on FB last night; has that changed after you slept on it like it did for me.

You could do a lot worse than a core of Kyrie/Waiters/Tristan/Zeller. I mean, it could be better but it could be a lot worse.

Pretty much every expert hates Drummond to Detroit because it's going to take him at least 3 years to be remotely decent if at all. Good luck with that.

Anonymous said...

I have talked myself off the ledge and am starting to be ok with both picks. Like I said, when Charlotte took MKG I was immediately defeated. You knew Beal was going next, so my thought was Barnes (which I hated) or T Robinson (best on the board). They took a little gamble with Waiters when I just wanted to see best on the board taken. The guy didnt work out for anyone! The ONLY reason I think he will work out is becuase Kyrie is a badass and will make him better.

As far as Zeller, I hated it at first. dont give me the "he was ACC player of the year" bullshit. The ACC was fucking brutal last year. BUT we got an athletic true 7 footer which doesnt come around often. He is a great FT shooter and if he can potentially develop a short mid range jumper he will fit into our offense well since he can run the floor. I think the biggest part that will help him is that we didnt give up Andy. We now have a true 4 and 5.

6 'Cats drafted last night. Not bad.

Seal

Anonymous said...

G$...If you need a reminder as to why you were so upsest, it's because the Cavs drafted DION WAITERS WITH THE 4TH PICK OVERALL. Back to back years of shitting down their legs with the 4th pick.

The Drummond pick was perfect. Even if he is a complete bust, it's not like we passed on a guy that's going to be a top 3 player on a title contender. But, he won't be a bust. If that montage of his UConn play didn't make your penis move a little bit as a Pistons fan then you're lost as a basketball fan.

It would not surprise me if RGIII is a homosexual. He kind of looks like one.

--Drew

Prime99 said...

The Bulls pick of Marquis Teague did nothing to mak my penis move. Not bad, but I not great. When picking 29, I don't know what kind of expectations ou can really have.

The Warriors had a surprisingly solid draft.

The Kings sold OJ from UCSB to the Pacers for cash. Maybe they can afford that new arena now?

Anonymous said...

Now that you mention it, Daniel, RGIII always seemed a little bit fruity.

I am only a casual Cavs fan who may only watch a handful of games per year, but after I heard the Waiters pick, even I was pissed off.

-Lil' Strut

The Iceman said...

Since we're talking ourselves into horrible picks this morning let me follow suit. I guess it could be worse. Drummond moves better than any big man in the draft and can run the floor with ease. He can't score but we don't need him to. He's also a savage at the rim offensively and defensively. As Drew stated...if he flames out then it's not like we took him with the #2 in one of the deepest drafts in the history of the NBA. Realistically, who else was there that filled the need Detroit had? I would have like to see Zeller at 9 but I guess there's a reason he dropped to 17.

Serious question for Cavs fans:

Why not grab Robinson at 4 and trade Tristan Thompson? Isn't that a signifcant upgrade at PF? I would think that Irving and Robinson work better than Irving and Thompson.

The Iceman said...

Prime, I actually liked the Teague pick. His brother is developing into a pretty nice NBA PG (BEST PG IN THE FUCKIN WORLD if you ask MuDawg) so you have to like the pedigree there.

If nothing else it gives a way better option at PG if Rose goes down again.

Anonymous said...

Iceman....great idea on flipping Robinson for Thompson.

MUDawg...any thoughts on Georgia's starting RB getting arrested last night on felony gun charges?

--Drew

Prime99 said...

Nothing like the Atlanta Hawks pedigree to make stamp of approval!

He better develop soon because Rose is already out until January.

GMoney said...

Iceman, what are you going to get for Tristan and why would you give up on a 20 year old 2nd all-rookie team big just because the draft didn't go your way??? You and I have differing opinions on him but you don't dump draft picks for pennies on the dollar after one year.

Let's say that the Pistons are staying Cody Zeller in the face next lottery (you will be there). Do you dump Drummond for 2 seconds just because you don't want a logjam? No, of course not, you figure something else out.

Shitting down their legs? A bit of an overreaction, no? They have been considered winners by the majority of analysts for their last two drafts, shitbird.

Teague is a solid pick indeed and the Warriors CRUSHED it. Barnes, Ezeli, and Draymond make them MUCH better. Now if Boguyt would just Retweet Iceman already...

For the record, the Pistons had to take Drummond there and it was not a bad pick at all. I just think that he'll blow.

Waiters was the best player in the best conference and Zeller was the ACC POY. Unfortunately this is not college basketball anymore. We'll see how this works out.

Anonymous said...

Waiters fouled out in 20 minutes of action against Ohio State after Lenzelle Smith ate him up for lunch.

--Drew

Shooks son said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
GMoney said...

Well at least he'll never have to face Lenzelle Smith ever again.

The Iceman said...

If Thompson is as good as you (and the Cleveland organization) thinks he is then they shouldn't have a problem moving him for close to his true value. And you move Thompson if Robinson is clearly a better option/player.

My point is, why not take the best player on the board and get creative if you can't find a spot for him on your own team? It just seems like a better option to me then reaching on a guy at #4 who can't hit a 18 foot jumper.

Anonymous said...

G$ said yesterday that Simmons is a blowhard that knows basketball. Here's his opinion on what the Cavs should have done....

(Note that's too important for a footnote: I thought the Cavs should have taken Thomas Robinson, but they obviously passed after spending last year's no. 4 overall pick on Tristan Thompson — same position as Robinson, not as good — so instead of stashing potential stud Jonas Valanciunas abroad in 2011 and picking Robinson this year, they spent two top-five picks on the poor man's Robinson and Syracuse's sixth man. The lesson, as always: God hates Cleveland.)

Anonymous said...

More....

Meanwhile, we have our first trade: Dallas traded Zeller to Cleveland for picks 24, 32 and 33. That means the Cavs just parlayed four top-33 picks (including the no. 4 overall) into a sixth man and a backup center, winning this year's Baxter Burgundy Award for the team that pooped in the fridge and ate a whole wheel of cheese, only you can't be mad at them because it was kind of amazing.

Brady said...

I don't pretend to know the NBA draft but even I know that Waiters was a reach. Mt Twitter feed lit up like a Christmas tree when that pick was made. I can't find anybody who thinks that was a good pick. That pick was awful Clevelandy.

Thanks to the Orioles for allowing the Indians to stop bleeding. Where the fuck did the bats come from? We couldn't buy a fucking run the last week.

GMoney said...

Simmons is Captain Hindsight which is always an awesome position to take because it means you're never wrong. Since he thought that Kyrie was the wrong/stupid pick last year, I'll just leave him as an expert on the game itself and not the draft (because he admittedly watches zero college hoops).

Waiters was slotted to go anywhere from 6-8. Not really a reach at all and Simmons is retarded for just dismissing a guy just because he came off the bench on a loaded team and was their best player. Yep, looks like I'm officially on the Waiters Defense Team now. Christ. See what you idiots make me do?

Exactly who is Zeller going to back up at center anyway? Harangody? Because rotating the two post positions between Tristan, Z, and Andy sounds pretty solid to me.

Bottom Line: the team addressed two big holes and are better today then they were yesterday. It's not what I would have done with what we had, but they are much better and more athletic now.

Quit overreacting!!!

And this RGIII smear campaign is not going to work.

Anonymous said...

RG3 is black and has yet to have a child at his age. Dudes gay, bro.

Ide

Anonymous said...

Hahaha - Ide wins for best comment of the past month.

Seal

GMoney said...

I just read that Simmons article. Remember how Drew was quick to paste his remarks about Robinson being the pick and the Cavs so dumb? Yeah, the NEXT fucking paragraph he called Robinson a "rich man's Carl Landry". You don't take that at 4, Bill.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Good thing the Cavs have this guy running their draft....

INDEPENDENCE, Ohio -- It's 5½ hours before the NBA draft but Cleveland Cavaliers general manager Chris Grant doesn't know that. He has volumes of information -- too much, probably -- on the dozens of prospects who are nervously waiting for men in his position to decide their futures. But Grant doesn't seem to actually know when the draft actually begins.

"It's at 7:30, first pick about 7:35," said a Cavs staffer sitting across the room when Grant asks.

The Iceman said...

G$ believes in Tristan Thompson the same way that all Cavs fans really believed Mo Williams was an All Star a few years back. Good shit.

New Balance said...

Tristan Thompson is a rich man's farm equipment.

Brady said...

"RG3 is black and has yet to have a child at his age. Dudes gay, bro."

This comment just made my Friday.

Robert Griffin III said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Brady said...

I'm just going to relay some info on the Waiters pick from some guys I read that usually know their NBA.

Pros: Waiters is built like a tank and can get to the basket.

Cons: He can't shoot and many think he doesn't have the personality to make it big/stay out of trouble in the Association.

I can't really speak to any of these points but I was curious what you guys thought.

Brady said...

"I'll suck your dick and that will make your Friday even better."

A blow job is a blow job I guess.

Robert Griffin III said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
GMoney said...

Whole shitload of DERP coming from the comments today. Oh well, might as well just start going through and deleting them.

Still waiting on ANYONE to tell me who should have been taken at 4 last year (and try doing it with a straight face). All the Tristan haters out there still have yet to show their work on who was a better pick. Keep in mind, dipshit Iceman, I've never said that he was destined to be an all star; just that he's still growing and has shown flashes of being a solid player a la Tyson CHandler. That's it. You're wrong. You always have been.

ANy RG3 comments today not revolving around his future Super Bowl 10peat will be deleted.

Anonymous said...

This is turning into the old days of Ace's Toolshed blog where the administrator deletes your comment if it upsets him. This censorship is bullshit!

-Lil' Strut

Brady said...

It feels like Nazi Germany up in here.

Adolf Hitler said...

This is my kinda blog...

Joseph Stalin said...

I agree with Adolf. The only opinion that matters is mine.

GMoney said...

If you're going to be retarded, at least be funny. If you want to be retarded AND not funny AND even more retarded than just your average retard, then I have no time for you.

I mean, seriously, what the fuck does that stupid comment from whatever New Balance is even mean? That is just dumb.

Bring back Mr. Ace and Dut. Those are some intelligent men.

Anonymous said...

My man David Thorpe thinks Waiters was a DUMB pick...

david b. thorpe ‏@coachthorpe
Still struggling with the Waiters pick. Labeled a prolific scorer. # of 20 pt games he had in his career-3. Barnes had that many in a week.

david b. thorpe ‏@coachthorpe
I get the idea of a slasher with a good shot next to the pure player in Irving. But at #4, with so much talent left? Big, big risk.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Is he worse than Harrison Barnes? Maybe. Maybe not. It was never going to be Robinson so just forget about him. Seriously, don't bring him into the equation anymore because it's pointless. There is probably a reason why Cuse fans loved Waiters and Heel fans hated Barnes.

We'll just have to see how this plays out. I'm very cautiously optomistic at the moment but I'm willing to jump on board.

Did I really want to root for Barnes for the next 7 years while he did all he could to make it his team and not Kyrie's???

GMoney said...

By the way, after doing very little digging, the extortion guy is the ex of RGIII's fiancee. Not homo. Clearly, he is TOTES JELLY.

Anonymous said...

CBS Sportsline 2013 Mock Draft has Laquinton Ross going # 23 next year. That is really dumb. No fucking way is he a 1st round pick.

--Drew

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
GMoney said...

Any more unfounded homophobia today and you will be speaking to my attorney, Fred Davis ESQUIRE!

But seriously, quit it. I'm not in the mood. I'm on the rag.

Robert Griffin III said...

I love pussy. End of story.

Anonymous said...

First off: Fags.

Secondly, awesome story time.

So today, I went to lunch with 3 co-workers. We went to some dive diner that serves pretty good food. Well, on the way there, I had to piss like a racehorse, so when we get there, I bee line to the shitter.

The bathroom in question was unisex (not uncommon in NYC) and apparently had burnt out light bulbs. Fuck it, I've made due with worse I told myself. So this piss turns into a monstrous shit. I mean this thing was a real growler, I almost had to grab the sides of the toilet, I was giving birth.

Mid shit, a woman throws the door wide open. Oh, the lock seemed to have been on the same working schedule as the lights. All I could say was "occupied", but I'm sure the stench that met her before the sight of my amazing junk (if she could see in the dark) let her know the deal.

I could hear people chatting outside, so I made quick with the wiping. Except with no lights, I had no clue when to stop. And since this was the type of shit that moved mountains and caused the seas to roar, I wasn't taking any chances. Three courtesy flushes on this bad boy, you'd think that would be enough. I used half a roll of toilet paper for good measure.

Magically, and I shit you not, after I buckle up and tuck my shirt in and all, the lights come on. Finally! I looked down to see that the toilet didn't flush. Yep, roughly six pounds of me and eight pounds of toilet paper were very visible in the bowl. I flushed again, and nothing.

I scurried out, and said "all yours", ran and got my co-workers and told them I'd explain later, but we needed to leave ASAP. They obliged, and after telling them what happened, they all agreed that I should have to buy everyone lunch for the trouble.

Happy Friday.

Ide

Brady said...

I've never seen(?) G$ in this type of mood before. RG3 slays pussy!

Can we have a "Louie" discussion on Friday's as well? I feel left out when you chumps discuss "The Walking Dead". The opening stand up last night was awesome. Reading glasses so you can see your dick? That's gold, Jerry. Gold.

GMoney said...

Louie is a strange show. It's very good but it isn't really funny which is strange since he's the best comedian on the planet.

Ide, more poop stories, PLZ.

Brady said...

You're right G$. Louie has that uncomfortable early "office" thing going. It makes you squirm alot. HIs opening stand up is always the funniest part.

The Iceman said...

Best. Shit. Story. Ever.