|I wanted to begin this press conference with a lesson on proper masturbation technique. I prefer to squeeze the shit out of me.|
But that is beside the point, because today, I want to finally get around to a story that is so absurd and fucktarded that it almost defies any semblance of a rational thought. Just in case you are a woman or only listen to jug bands, Justin Combs (the son of awful rapper, P. Diddy) accepted a football scholarship to UCLA last week. Completely stupid people are making arguments that since his dad is somehow worth half a billion dollars, Justin should refuse the scholarship and play for free because, I don't know, all rich kids should be walk-ons. Apparently, to some, Diddy is the only wealthy man in America and his son should be punished for it (probably because they're black, I'd guess).
OK, we're all smart enough here to be on the same side, I hope. Multiple BCS football programs deemed this kid worthy of a scholarship and he accepted. His background has nothing to do with anything. UCLA signed a cornerback--that should be the end of the goddamn story. Actually, it makes me more impressed with the kid considering that even with all of his advantages in life, he still worked hard on the field and in the classroom (3.75 GPA at a prep school in NY). Good for Justin Combs and shame on all of the cunts out there that insist he play as a walk-on. I guess that shittier football players should get that full ride that they didn't earn or deserve. Make sense? Of course not.
Golic made a surprisingly good point about this last week by screaming, "what is the cut off"? Are athletic scholarships only to go to those that were born from a Pryor vagina? What about Joe Montana's sons? This is the most Skip Bayless debate in the history of First Take. LET HIM LIVE!
The funniest part about this whole pointless mess is that no one is looking at the other side and just focusing on a really awful musician instead. Jim Mora Jr. is taking huge chunks out of his recruiting budget to lock up 2 star CBs from prep schools in the Northeast. Hilarious! Good job landing a kid that was offered by Wyoming! FACT: not one decent football player is from the state of New York. If you ignore the whole insanity behind the Combs' paying their own way, you can see the real truth that Mora is totally just using this kid as a pawn in his certain-to-fail game of making UCLA football cooler than USC in Los Angeles (and that will NEVER happen). That's all that this is. He wants dad to show up on the sidelines and legitimize his average program. Maybe the other sideline will feature the Tupac hologram and we can see an old school rap coast war.
But I like that college football teams are using pop culture icons to promote their programs now. Between this and my RedHawks signing Tom Tupa Jr, the SKY IS THE LIMIT! And needless to say (again) because everyone already knows this: West Coast > East Coast.