Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Because All Of Snoop's Sons Are Playing For Charlie Weis

I wanted to begin this press conference with a lesson on proper masturbation technique.  I prefer to squeeze the shit out of me.
The Iceman is down in Houston for a few days while he quietly stalks Arian Foster so he and I switched some duties around and you're getting me in his traditional Tuesday slot. If you remember yesterday, Drew and Ice got into it over the fact that a couple of Ohio State players like to wave their penises around in public and then run away giggling like little kids when the cops try to intervene. Whatever, that is a pointless story of asshole football players being assholes but it gives Urb an early outlet to see if his tough stance on crime will actually work. Since it never has anywhere else for him, I'm guessing no.

But that is beside the point, because today, I want to finally get around to a story that is so absurd and fucktarded that it almost defies any semblance of a rational thought. Just in case you are a woman or only listen to jug bands, Justin Combs (the son of awful rapper, P. Diddy) accepted a football scholarship to UCLA last week. Completely stupid people are making arguments that since his dad is somehow worth half a billion dollars, Justin should refuse the scholarship and play for free because, I don't know, all rich kids should be walk-ons. Apparently, to some, Diddy is the only wealthy man in America and his son should be punished for it (probably because they're black, I'd guess).

OK, we're all smart enough here to be on the same side, I hope. Multiple BCS football programs deemed this kid worthy of a scholarship and he accepted. His background has nothing to do with anything. UCLA signed a cornerback--that should be the end of the goddamn story. Actually, it makes me more impressed with the kid considering that even with all of his advantages in life, he still worked hard on the field and in the classroom (3.75 GPA at a prep school in NY). Good for Justin Combs and shame on all of the cunts out there that insist he play as a walk-on. I guess that shittier football players should get that full ride that they didn't earn or deserve. Make sense? Of course not.

Golic made a surprisingly good point about this last week by screaming, "what is the cut off"? Are athletic scholarships only to go to those that were born from a Pryor vagina? What about Joe Montana's sons? This is the most Skip Bayless debate in the history of First Take. LET HIM LIVE!

The funniest part about this whole pointless mess is that no one is looking at the other side and just focusing on a really awful musician instead. Jim Mora Jr. is taking huge chunks out of his recruiting budget to lock up 2 star CBs from prep schools in the Northeast. Hilarious! Good job landing a kid that was offered by Wyoming! FACT: not one decent football player is from the state of New York. If you ignore the whole insanity behind the Combs' paying their own way, you can see the real truth that Mora is totally just using this kid as a pawn in his certain-to-fail game of making UCLA football cooler than USC in Los Angeles (and that will NEVER happen). That's all that this is. He wants dad to show up on the sidelines and legitimize his average program. Maybe the other sideline will feature the Tupac hologram and we can see an old school rap coast war.

But I like that college football teams are using pop culture icons to promote their programs now. Between this and my RedHawks signing Tom Tupa Jr, the SKY IS THE LIMIT! And needless to say (again) because everyone already knows this: West Coast > East Coast.

28 comments:

Grumpy said...

Who is Tupac?

Anonymous said...

A black. You wouldn't know/like him.

Ide

MUDawgfan said...

Good post, good post.

My engagement party is being thrown by a friend of the brides. It's scheduled for the Saturday of Labor Day weekend. The start of the college football season.

I hate being married already. HATE IT.

The Iceman said...

I think the real story here is how Diddy gave his son one of the whitest names known to man. I know because I have a brother named Justin...and he's milkier than what gets yanked from a cow's utter.

Saying this kid doesn't deserve a scholly is such a dumbass thing to say. The kid is playing, not his terrible rapping father. Just because his dad is worth millions doesn't mean the kid sees the cash. Don't get me wrong. I'm sure Justin (HAHAHA) gets luxuries we don't have but we get the ultimate luxury of being white...which cannot be duplicated in any way nor can it be surpassed by money. And I'll take that over paper dollars any day.

Besides...Diddy's fortune probably gets spent on child support and gold toilet seats anyway. You know...rapper expenses.

GMoney said...

Dawg, just walk away...you're already off to a bad start but there is still time. Is your priest a pedophile though?

Tupac would not be welcomed at any of your car shows, I can guarantee that.

When will Iceman show up and start flapping his cunt about the Thunder? I assume soon. He's missing the greater point of this though. My intention has always been to see the West champ crush the Heat. The OKC squad that we've seen since I went all Spurs-crazy has been pretty ELITE. I still expect the Spurs to win in 7 though. If not then FUCK YOU MR. ACE!!!

GMoney said...

"the ultimate luxury of being white"--my DFL team name this year

I just find it amusing that Mora spent a ton of his budget on the 113th best CB and a guy who probably should be playing football in Storrs, CT.

Grumpy said...

Biggie did it.

Anonymous said...

The one thing that I haven't seen mentioned at all...is that scholarship players get certain perks that the walk-ons don't get. They get to eat the training tables while the walk-ons don't, etc. So, it's not just the money. It is an INSANELY dumb story though. He's got to be better at football than Master P's son was at basketball at USC tho.

One of the best Defensive Ends and former Buckeye...now Bounty Killer Will Smith is from the state of New York. Suck on that.

"flapping his cunt"...I like that...gonna use that. Thunder have looked DAMN good. Game 6 should be pretty ELITE.

--Drew

The Iceman said...

Don't worry, ladies. My OKC rant is coming...in due time. Patience...

Mr. Ace said...

I am sure Puff Daddy(his real name) will donate more than his sons scholly by the time his eligibility is up. People are dumb.

James Harden has giant fucking stones.

GMoney said...

By the way, I keep hearing about people that are against this kid getting a scholarship but I have not seen or heard anybody actually say it. I bet that Gregg Doyel did. He is shit. Who are these racists???

Anonymous said...

G$...That's a good question. I just did a Google News search for "Justin Combs"...I went through 5 pages of results and did not see a single headline that he should not take the scholarship. Any opinion piece said he deserves it. So, I've got no clue who is raising this fuss.

--Drew

John Gruden said...

I may or may not have something to do with that, Drew. But good luck proving it! WHITE POWER!

GMoney said...

Les Miles has already got all of the bastard Big Tymers sons locked up.

Speaking of Cash Money, the reception on Friday night played Get Your Roll On and Still Fly at the groom's request (more like demand). Some guy that I didn't know was out on the dance floor going buck wild. I saw him in line for the pisser and complimented him on his ELITE knowledge of Big Tymers lyrics. He said thank you. And then we heard BOOM from the amplifiers...

Anonymous said...

Anyone who says he shouldn't take the scholarship is dumb. As Drew pointed out, scholarship athletes get more than just the free tuition. If a player has worked hard enough to be offered a full ride, than he deserves to be treated the same as the rest of the scholarship athletes. He shouldn't have to forego the scholarship just because his dad is rich. Otherwise, we should start asking every former successful NFL player's son to forego their scholarship and have their dad pay the bill.

-Lil' Strut

Grumpy said...

Can someone explain why all the headlines say the kid is getting 54K from UCLA? Four years there has to be a lot more than that. Is it because schollys are renewable from year to year and the 54K is the value for his first year?

Anonymous said...

I am sure $54k is the value of one year with him being from out of state and having his tuition, room & board, books, and other items paid for. I think Ohio State's annual scholarships are even valued at around $40k.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I think it's 54K for one year.

Another thing...as G$ noted...the kid has really good grades. If people are pissed that this kid is getting a free ride....shouldn't they be even more pissed that some retard from the inner city that's carrying like a 2.4 is also getting a free ride instead of someone that has good grades and is deserving? The whole thing is dumb.

Forgot to say that G$'s Gregg Doyel drop made my blood boil...I hate that fucker.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Exactly, these people should be more mad that the Andy Katzenmoyer's of the world are getting free school when he still can't read over some dude that has his shit together even though it would have been really easy to coast through life.

54K sounds about right for one year. College tuition costs are hilarious.

The Iceman said...

So give the kid scholarships for being smart. Either way he's earned the right for free school. So dumb.

Anonymous said...

Andy Katzenmoyer broke my buddies brothers shoulder during a high school football game thus retracting the full ride football scholarship my buddies brother had to Akron. Kinda on topic.

Ide

Brady said...

Dumbest arguement ever. If the kid can play he deserves a full ride.

The Iceman said...

Charles Woodson broke our QBs neck in high school.

GMoney said...

Yeah, but Mr. Ace's cousin deserved that. And wasn't he playing varsity hoops just a few weeks later? I think that Joe was faking his broken neck.

Prime99 said...

Living on the West Coast is expensive. LA athletes need extra cash for hustling', thugging out, and breaking bitches off.

The Iceman said...

He sat out a few games at the beginning of the basketball season...then in his first or second game back was upended and landed on his head. After that all he did was get pissed and score about 30 points.

I didn't know Joe and Ace are cousins. Figured Ace would be cooler having a cousin like that...and more athletic.

Anonymous said...

Now he just posts pictures of vegan picnics on facebook. Where did it all go wrong?

Mr. Ace said...

Iceman was once a part of a band called Red Headed Step-Child. I don't know if this is a fact, but I know his bro was.

My cousin smashed Woodson in the rematch on the hardwood, for the record. And I think he broke his sixth vertebrae.

Also for the record, that pizza was from hounddogs and certainly not vegan, I just like to mess with you douchers. It was vegetarian though.