|Please find our 472 year old weirdo, Mr. Stack.|
UPDATE #1 - As of 7 pm last night, Grumpy was NOT listed in the Obituary section of the Cincinnati Enquirer. That's good news!
UPDATE #2 - At the request of Mr. Ace, Grump has replaced Urban in the banner. Good idea. This is our version of plastering his face on a milk carton.
As a horrible transition, there’s another Ohio-based story that offers way more questions than answers. I talked on Monday about how sick new Reds closer Aroldis Chapman is. He is so nasty. Anyway, he had an interesting weekend. He was named the team’s closer on Saturday or Sunday. He got his first save against the Yankees on Sunday afternoon. The team flew back to Cincy that same day as they were to begin a big 4 game series with the Braves on Monday. Sounds simple, right? Well, somehow things got weird in the middle.
|I just don't understand the concept of "bling"|
OK, this story makes no sense to me. What the fuck is Chapman doing driving up to Columbus in the middle of the night? Was he trying to check out the new patio at The Stube before they closed? I highly doubt that there are more than 3 Cubans living in central Ohio and he doesn’t speak any English so, again, what the fuck? It was about pussy, wasn’t it? It had to be. Or was he coming to get me? He got pulled over less than 4-5 miles from where I sleep at night! I WAS STILL AWAKE, TOO! Aroldis Chapman is an assassin sent by LeBron James to collect my scalp. HOLY SHIT, Miami and Cuba are basically next door fucking neighbors. This all makes sense now. LeBron brought Chapman into this country to rid the world of me. But he made one huge error in his plan: thinking that the state of Kentucky would ever give a valid driver’s license to a Cuban refugee! I win again! AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
But seriously, even though we will never get the truth behind this, it interests me greatly. I mean, why the fuck is Chapman coming to Columbus at 1 am on a Monday morning? Besides “getting laid”, there is no logic that makes a lick of sense.
On a more positive Reds note (I’ve been talking about this team WAY too much recently), did you see that black guy who caught back-to-back home run balls on Monday night? That is insane! What are the odds that that would ever happen? It’s hard enough to see two MLB hitters hit consecutive home runs but having the same exact fan catching both of them within a few minutes of each other? This is probably the only time in your life when you should be jealous of a black guy named Caleb. Caleb is an awful name for any skin color though. That’s it for today. I’ll see you all at the Grumpy Candlelight Vigil/Candle-pin Bowling event tonight. Plus, I’m sure that Iceman will want to argue about Pacers/Heat game 5. Whatever, it’s his passion in life to troll us all. That's what makes him "Cowherd T. Cowherd" (that nickname that I gave him needs to stick). The "T" stands for TRANSCENDENT!!!