|Delmon does not approve.|
*Derrick Rose is made of glass – With the exception of Prime, I can’t think of one Bulls fan that I’ve ever met that wasn’t an unintentional asshole. I don’t know if they mean to be that way, but they are. And that is what makes Rose’s blown out knee even better. It’s not that their season is over and thus worthless, it’s that these idiots think that just because they won meaningless games in the regular season with Rose, that they can do it in the playoffs, too. LOLZ! You are fucking idiots! You’re done! It’s over! You just wasted this season AND next year, too. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! By the way, I really like the way that Rose plays, but the guy is a total gash.
*Rajon Rondo does not respect AUTHORIT-AHHHHH – Was “I sort of lost my balance” the worst excuse/lie of all time? It might be. You can’t chest bump a referee ever and the fact that he only has to sit one game for that is ridiculous. One game isn’t going to make Rondo a good boy that follows the rules. Sit him for three, teach that little shit a lesson, and if they lose the series then Boston has a black guy to blame (just like in the NHL!). It’s a win/win and the NBA fucked it up. Rondo is a sucker of cocks.
*Amare Stoudemire is an intelligent man – I wish that there was video of Amare getting all pissy and slapping a fire extinguisher case with his off hand. It had to be ridiculously effeminate and TOTES hilarious. I mean, seriously, how dumb do you have to be to take your frustrations out on GLASS? The Knicks just have a weird and stupid roster. No one fits with anyone. But at least Jeremy Lin is coming back, yo! He’ll save everything! Yeah, they’re getting swept.
*Move along people, nothing to see here—David Stern – It kills me how arrogant and smug Stern can be almost all the time. With seemingly everyone getting hurt right now, smart people are pointing the finger at the stupid scheduling as the reason why. Stern, who is not a doctor, disagrees because he gives no fucks. I would like to see him come out and say, “Yes, if these dumbass players wouldn’t have been so fucking greedy this past summer then maybe they wouldn’t be hurt. Now please come to Brooklyn.”
*Shawn Marion makes a good point – Kevin Durant’s game one winner was very, very, very lucky. He just sort of threw the ball at the hoop and as Fred McLeod would stupidly yell, “HE GOT A RUBBER RIM!” This series has been good but needs significantly more Delonte West wet-willies (a brand of defense that I never knew existed).
*Mike Brown is an ELITE coach – No, I don’t believe that one bit but I just wanted to see if you were paying attention. However, the more that I see of the Lakers, the more that I like them and think that they can win it all. Obviously, they will need to overcome their coach and Byn-sanity, but they look really good. And if Razor Ramon is the last piece that can get them another ring this year then that was a beautiful trade by the Cavs.
*Oh Goddammit – With Rose’s injury, the Heat can sleepwalk to the Finals now. That sucks. It looks as though the last line of defense will reside out West. I’m pretty sure that the Thunder and Lakers can beat them. I want to believe that a healthy Spurs can, too. Wouldn’t it be so fitting that LeBron could finally get over the hump only after every obstacle was eliminated from his path? Can this guy ever stop taking the easy way out? Do-do-do-DOOOOO THERE’S NO EASY WAY OUT. THERE’S NO SHORTCUT HOME. THERE’S NO EASY WAY OUT. GIVING IN CAN’T BE WRONG!!! Now go drive 200 mph in a school zone while daydreaming about Carl Weathers.
*Fuck you, Cowherd – When did his show turn into 3 hours of defending LeBron anyway? I mean, it’s always at least an hour of that but now we’re up to 180 minutes every day. Who is arguing that D-Rose is a better player than LeBron? Or that Dirk is better? No one is saying that. And don’t you dare say that the Heat is his team and not Wade’s. That will never be the case. Do you know what’s funny? Cowherd says that just because LeBron is garbage in crunch time does not mean much at all. I want to watch Cowherd get raped by a rhino.
That will do it for today’s basketball playoff coverage. My goal was to make it short, sweet, and objectionable. And I even included lyrics from a Survivor song! That’s great blogging right there. Now if you don’t mind, I’ve got to get back to my tickle fight with a phone booth. Amare recommended it to me.