|Retro Bill is also a board member at Second Mile|
Oh yes, here. The other night, known slugger and DARE program failure, Josh Hamilton, launched 4 dongs and a double against the O’s at Camden Yards. He set the non-Jewish record for total bases in a game (Shawn Green had 19…which is unreal). Hamilton is, without question, one of the five best players in the game today. Hell, he might be #2 (Matt Kemp has a stranglehold on #1). But he is a great baseball player. Not good—GREAT. One story that is about to blow up (and already has to some extent) is that Hamilton is a free agent at season’s end. So I want to spend today trying to answer the question of “What is Josh Hamilton’s price?”
If you were just looking at the man as an on-field product, he is a lock for an 8 year/160 million contract and that might even be on the cheap. We all know about his demons though and that shit can not be ignored. Plus, he does tend to get hurt a lot. At this point, I would like to reference THIS POST that I wrote years ago where I wrote Hamilton’s autobiography for him. Dut believed every word of that post and even quoted it as fact to others. He only learned that it was a lie less than a year ago. Hilarious. What an idiot.
Anyway, no sane management team is going to give Josh Hamilton an 8 year contract and close to 200 million dollars. That would just be foolish. So what is he worth? First things first, he isn’t going anywhere. Texas has the money to pay him and he has re-built his life in Arlington with a support staff to keep him clean (sort of…Ian Kinsler really sucks at this). He isn’t going to the highest bidder and reshuffling the deck which is his life. That would be a disaster. So there has to be some common ground here for both parties. They both seem aware of the issues at hand and Hamilton seems like a guy that understands the lyrics of the inferior-to-2Pac Biggie Smalls that “Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems”.
If I’m Hamilton’s agent, I ask for 7 years and 140 million knowing that I will never get anything close to that. If I’m the Rangers, I counter with 4 years and 60 million knowing that there is only a slim chance that this lowball effort will even be considered. In the end, I think that a deal can be made for 4 years and 75-80 million (maybe with a couple of years of team options added on at 20-22 mill per year) with some fairly heavy morality clauses thrown in that can void the deal. That seems pretty fair to me and sort of meets in the middle (basically, if all went well, Hamilton could net 125 million over 6 years). The superstar gets paid and the team gets some protection. I just don’t see how these two parties can divorce at this stage. Both need each other like I need another bottle of fleshlight lube.
Also something that I want to address today: Cole Hamels is a fucking pussy who is in desperate need of a NATITUDE adjustment. DURR I hit Bryce Harper on purpose to welcome him to the bigs. That is so stupid. Hamels is about the least “old school” guy out there since he married a reality TV star (although Heidi from Survivor is insanely hot) and looks like a total gash. I’m not saying that Harper shouldn’t be getting plunked because he looks and seems like a total doucher, but Hamels is not someone that should be playing the role of “baseball history tough guy”. His name is COLE! Have you ever met a tough guy named Cole? I’ll answer that for you—No, you have not met a Cole that was a tough guy. Although maybe he is attempting to institute some sort of rogue pitching task force known as “Hamels 2 Halladay: Bizarre Mound Justice”?
And Albert Pujols sucks dick!
More baseball today! Yay for Brady! Boo for the old farts! Fuck, I’ve got that cheesy synth-rock DARE song stuck in my head now. DARE! To keep a kid off drugs!