Thursday, May 24, 2012

College Football Riblets

Farooq says "GO NOLES!"
Whenever I am struggling to come up with a post idea, it never hurts to just scroll the college football section over at ESPN and usually something there will tickle my taint. And while I don’t particularly care all that much about college football, I know that most of you do. So today you are getting a wide array of recent college football stories because May is always chock full o’ college football nuggets.

Future Big Ten schedules have been announced – If you care about this then you are a sad person. I read an article in which some dumb writer was complaining that an entire class of Huskers and Buckeyes would never play against each other (unless redshirting) because, you know, this is a rivalry all of a sudden. How can Jim Delany deprive America of another classic Nebraska/Ohio State showdown that we’ve seen a full ONE TIME over the past however many years and it wasn’t all that great the first time around.

Ohio State and Michigan are still consistent – Another unnecessary press release out this week is that these two teams will continue to play the most overrated game of all time at noon on the last Saturday of the Big Ten season just like they have forever except for the one time when both teams were good. Got it? Nothing has changed and it never will. Good.

Florida State thinks that they are wanted – It sounds like the Noles are tired of underachieving in the ACC every year and have set their sights on greener pa$ture$. This probably would have been a big deal before fans started putting FOR SALE signs in Bobby Bowden’s front lawn (my favorite act of fan vigilantism). Let’s face it; the Noles are nothing special anymore. They don’t sellout at home. They aren’t even an ELITE program in a bad conference. They have no swag. It sounds like they aren’t even going to bother asking the SEC since, I assume, Florida will try to block them anyway. The Big 12 is the rumored move right now. I don’t know, I haven’t been clamoring to see FSU take on K-State and Iowa State. Should the Big Ten get involved here and do some wooing? Academically, this would not work at all but who knows.

The Plus-One is going to happen – Since the Big Ten doesn’t want the Rose Bowl to ever die, the SEC and Big 12 decided to send their champions off to a bowl game of their own to play. The 4 big conferences are doing what everyone expected them to do. Yep, it’s coming.

Penn State rewards the Paternos – Is it just me or should all (or at least more than 1.5) of JoePa’s 13.4 million dollar pension go to charity or something? That’s blood money. That’s broken anal hymen blood money!

Steve Everitt might be right? – The name sounds familiar but I can’t place a face to it though. I guess that this Everitt guy played on the OL for Michigan awhile back and was pretty good. He went on local radio up in Michigan a few days ago and proclaimed that Ohio State was “stuck” with Braxton Miller at QB and that they were pretty much doomed. Miller is an interesting cat and clearly a polarizing figure. We’ve seen flashes of greatness. We’ve seen more shit though. Craig Krenzel says that he has perfect mechanics but he voluntarily wears cowboy boots so his opinion is meaningless. We’ll see, I suppose, but if you made me bet, I’d predict good but not great and less successful than TP.

Plenty of talking points today for this slow time of year. You aren’t getting better than this anywhere else on the internet. And that includes BangBus. Oh, and RIP Bill Stewart…I hope that Urban Meyer was paying attention.

29 comments:

Grumpy said...

I saw that Ohio/Mich. announcement regarding the noon kickoff and couldn't believe some intern was forced to release that.

WVU and their fans ran Stewart out on a rail and now act like he was the second coming of Bear Bryant. Oliver Luck is the biggest hypocrite of them all. One question: Do they burn a couch at his funeral?

GMoney said...

Hold on a minute playa, Stewart ran himself out by hiring some goons to dig up dirt on Holgerson. But I expect a 21 burnt couch salute nonetheless.

Anonymous said...

12 more OSU violations on the plate for later today. Expected to be secondary, or not, according to Gene Smiff.

Can we please fire that asshole?

Ide

GMoney said...

What the hell was with Mean Gene telling The Lantern that it was "golden age" for Ohio State? It's looking better now than it was a year ago but still, hardly golden. Gene needs to go.

Anonymous said...

*I don't care about the future big ten schedules.

*Announcing the time of The Game is definitely important, since it is the most important day of the year.

*FSU is indeed dumb.

*Can't wait for plus one.

*Penn State pays millions to child molester enablers. Remember when G$ defended Paterno and didn't think it was a big story? LOLZ. I called that one from the beginning.

*Steve Everitt is not right. I'll definitely take being "stuck" with the best QB in the B1G for two of the next three years.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

The golden age comment was retarded. In fact, everything he has said the past 18 months has been borderline handicapped.

The article mentions that OSU averages 40 minor violations per year. Thus far they are at 46, so average-ish. Why does this black asshole keep feeling the need to take this to press, then? We get it, every school does this, but publicizing it nationally, when our reputation is already on the mend is plain fucking stupid.

Ide

Anonymous said...

He just was forced to release a statment clarifying his interview...and he says they are all secondary violations and none involving the football program. So, basically he never should have opened his mouth. Retard.

Evan Turner and the Sixers forcing Boston to Game 7 made me happy last night.

--Drew

MUDawgfan said...

I'd much rather see Ohio State play Nebraska than Ohio State play Michigan State or Penn State - but that's just me.

I can't really put my finger on when FSU started to decline. My ego wants to say "Oh, it's when Richt left to Coach the Dawgs!" but that's not wholly true since they made a couple of BCS games following his departure. They still pull in good recruiting classes.
Is shitty coaching to blame? Is it that simple? People love to compliment Jimbo Fisher, but what the hell has he really done?


If I had to bet, I would suggest that FSU was ahead of most teams from a weight training and conditioning standpoint from 1993-1999 and not other programs have simply caught up with them.

It is nice to expose their fans as bandwagon shitheads.

GMoney said...

Whoa! When did I defend Paterno? I was under the impression that I was against all things Penn State from the start. Maybe I said that being an old senile waste was a decent excuse for him, but I hardly was starting vigils for the man. Stop spreading lies. I AM ANTI BOY FUCKING.

Ohio State should get nailed with LOIC simply for not firing that walking embarrassment. Could you even argue if they did that???

FSU's decline had nothing to do with Mark Richt's bald spot leaving. You know better than that. The Noles started sucking once the players had to take their own tests.

Anonymous said...

On Monday Novermber 7th, I said the following...

"I hope Iceman hits Paterno as hard as he hits Sandusky tomorrow...also that big Ginger. They should all be in jail. Way to just completely ruin your legacy Joe Pa."

On Tuesday November 8th, G$ said the following...

"1. I don't blame Paterno. He didn't see anything (because he hasn't been able to see in 20 years). All he had was a story from a ginger implicating one of his oldest friends as a deviant. It's kind of like that old Chappelle Show bit about R.Kelly. If I'm going to turn in my buddy, I better have ironclad proof."

G$ then followed it up with this gem while still defending him....

"Does anyone think he'll lose his job over this though? I don't."

Don't fuck with my Money Shot memory!

--Drew

Prime99 said...

WE ARE THE NATION- OF DOMINATION!

Great pic.

GMoney said...

OBVZ things changed once more and more shit started coming out. I am a level-headed and ELITE blogger who doesn't immediately grab the pitchfork as soon as stories break. ELITE!

Prime, Ace is still a loser for being a vegan, getting rid of cable, and not naming his dog Farooq like he wanted to.

I have no idea who his competition is for this mythical crown, but I would bet against Braxton being the best QB in the conference ever.

Grumpy said...

WVU gave Stewart the job, had regrets and brought in Holgerson as the coach-in-waiting for the following year, making Stewart a lame duck. I would try to find dirt on him too. And he didn't have to look far.

Anonymous said...

OBVZ I saw the shit hit the fan right away and am ELITE at making judgements against child molester enablers. You sir are not....which unfortunately makes you a child molester enabler defender.

You would lose that bet against Braxton. Kid is going to be ELITE. He showed the flashes...and now he doesn't have the equivalent of Iceman being his QB coach.

--Drew

GMoney said...

makes you a child molester enabler defender

It's already on my business cards.

ELITE, huh? Tell me this: who the fuck is he throwing to? Himself? I win.

Anonymous said...

This year he'll be throwing the ball to Stoneburner, Devin Smith, Evan Spencer and Michael Thomas (Keyshawn genes).

Next year Stoneburner will be gone, but you replace him with a top 3 TE in the country in Marcus Baugh...still have Smith, Spencer and Thomas...PLUS a top WR that is still yet to be determined.

Gonna be ELITE.

--Drew (I want one of those bizness cards.)

GMoney said...

Probably should wish Brady a happy birthday...have a good one and enjoy your hummer from Iceman (conspicuous by his absence today).

An early present had to be the idea that Dut left Progressive Field a loser last night.

Anonymous said...

Would you consider getting a rusty trombone from a guy named Dusty a complete waste of a trip to Cleveland? Dut doesnt.

Ide

The Iceman said...

Late to the game today. Had to defend my pristine name in court today. Fuckin landlord crooks.

GMoney said...

Do us all a favor and go to prison.

GMoney said...

Who else is following along with the war of words between the Pacers and Heat? This is very entertaining. The Pacers are soft says Bird. The Heat say that the Pacers are dirty as fuck. The man behind all of this...PSYCHO T!

I swear that if Hansbrough gives or receives a flagrant foul tonight, there could be an all-out war similar to a Royal Rumble. This is the best part about the playoffs--when teams just fucking loathe each other.

Anonymous said...

Just wait to see the hatred on the court if the Celtics play the Heat.

--Drew

The Iceman said...

Like Bird has the right to call players soft. Coming from Mr. StayPuft himself. Unless you think sucker punching Bill Laimbeer when he's not looking is hardcore. Carmelo Anthony and Kevin Garnett are the only ones who think so. Go back to not dunking you bone spurred Casper fuck.

I'm looking for fireworks tonight. This is going to be an awesome game and I hope at least one person gets cut...preferably with a blade kept in a sock.

Justin Verlander said...

Did you all see my terrible start today? I couldn't even outpitch Justin Masterson! I don't know what to do anymore. My team is rotten and all the pressure is on me to stop the bleeding. I think I'll go get some forearm tattoos tomorrow to ease the pain and make me look classier.

Oh well. We got swept by the Indians. There is nothing left for me to do but to swab Taco Bell fire sauce on Jeff Gordon's dick and then suck it dry. Remember, I'm one of the greatest pitchers ever. I just can't keep Choo in the yard.

GMoney said...

That was your finest comment, JV. Way to get broomed by the Tribe.

Iceman, I know that you are a student of the game so I wonder why the fuck you are questioning Larry Legend. Dude played balls to the wall despite a shitty body for his entire career and was a true asshole to play against. His words mean a lot.

Anonymous said...

Best Verlander post yet.

Hey Tigers offense - way to put up 6 total runs this series. Looking good.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Im pretty sure I called Psycho T going apeshit. Lets see him cement his name in infamy tonight. A solid flagrant 1 and a Oacers win would be tits.

Ide

Prime99 said...

The O-Facers is a great nickname for the Pacers.

The Iceman said...

Anyone who cheap shots my boy Laimbeer is not a friend of mine.