|Iceman say WHAT?!?!?!|
So we’re all in agreement that it’s going to be the Spurs and Heat, right? I mean, you literally have to be Corky from Life Goes On (still a great reference!) to think otherwise. I wasn’t really sold that a focused Heat team would ever have much trouble getting through the East. The Pacers gave us some hope but all that Danny Granger’s faux tough guy act did was awake a sleeping giant. Out West, most of America would love to see the Thunder and Heat go at it for a title but that ain’t happening. The Spurs are just too good. You know, for the longest time I absolutely loathed watching the Spurs. I thought that they were boring and dull but I have to say that I’ve come around on them. I actually find myself rooting FOR them now. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I believe that they would crush Miami or that they play the game the right way or that the franchise is all class (with the exception of some flops and whines). I don’t know what it is, but I like them. A few notes from the conference Finals:
*Even if Iceman put on a Jerry Sandusky costume and walked into an inner-city elementary school, he wouldn’t be more wrong than he is about the Spurs. They’ve won 20 games in a row, destroy everything in their path, have zero weaknesses, the best coach in the game, and a strong homecourt advantage…but for some reason he is not buying it. Dude, get a fucking clue. This multiple championship team is ELITE.
*Moses Malone once made the phrase “Fo-Fo-Fo” famous as a quasi-guarantee that his Sixers wouldn’t lose a game in the playoffs. He was just a little wrong as they lost one but I would not be shocked at all if San Antonio completes a perfect 16-0 postseason. I would not be surprised one bit. These guys just take care of business.
*One reason that I don’t like the Thunder at all is because Scott Brooks pretty much just bends over for Pop and lets him keep pounding until the pounding is done. Brooks just reacts to everything that the Spurs do. He’s always on the defensive and that philosophy never wins (case in point – Mike Brown coaches this way). That should teach Brooks a lesson since his stupid face showed up in seemingly every pack on 1989 SkyBox basketball cards that I bought. Stupid Scott Brooks!
*Out East, the Celtics will be lucky to win one game. That is what happens when you fuck around and let an average Philly team take you to a 7th game. But then again, Boston isn’t all that great anymore. Ray Allen is shooting worse than me. Avery Bradley is injured which leads to Sasha Pavlovic getting burn (that is NEVER good). Paul Pierce is (insert random Iceman Pierce insult). Rondo is an enigma. The only one consistently playing worth a shit is known faggot and white guy hater, KG.
*Let’s just ignore the fact that they can barely break 80 points with this roster for a second and focus on the truth that they have NOBODY that can stop LeBron AND Wade. Not just stop, they don’t have a player that can even slow those two down. This is a horrible match-up for Glenn Rivers and Company and they are about to be sent home soon enough.
*I absolutely can not wait for the Popovich/Spoelstra duel. That is going to be hilarious. Do you think that Stephen Jackson will have something up his sleeve for LeBron? How funny will it be to see Mario Chalmers compete against Tony Parker? Duncan vs. Bosh? Manu vs. Wade? Matt Bonner vs. Juwan Howard!!! That is ratings gold. So, yeah, Spurs/Heat is going to happen unless you are stupid like The Iceman and want to believe that a team that has won 20 in a row will now lose 4 of their next 5.
Now let’s move onto the lottery!!!
FUCK!!! I got so damn excited as the teams were being called off. #4 is a bit disappointing but the Cavs should be able to get Beal or MKG there. Just stay the fuck away from Andre Drummond and Thomas Robinson would be pointless. Damn, the lottery is a pretty fun watch though. Nick Gilbert is dead to me!!!
Yeah, but don't worry about the NBA ever becoming clean because Anthony Davis is going to the team owned by the NBA. Hilarious. I love how crooked this league is. They screw the Hornets out of that Lakers trade in the Summer but reward them with Unibrow. Don't ever change, David Stern. Tom Benson is the fucking worst. Look at that asshole! Where is his queerbate umbrella?
Anyway, I'm done for today. I have to get back to reading The Hunger Games just like LeBron because he so cool.