Thursday, May 31, 2012

All NBA Thursday!

Iceman say WHAT?!?!?!
As I promised yesterday, today will be chock full o’ NBA talk since the playoffs aren’t getting hot and heavy the lottery was held last night. I sort of made a promise to myself not to discuss basketball again until the DREADFUL Sixers/Celtics series ended. That was BAD hoops. Those two teams would get their shit kicked by the team that Uncle Drew took to school, YOUNG BLOOD! So thank God that that is over. I’m writing this in two parts as the on-court stuff will be written around 4 while the lotto results will be around 9. I don’t know why I felt the need to mention this. It literally served no purpose. Maybe if the Cavs get the #1 pick, you will then understand why I’m closing with that as opposed to leading with it. Yeah, that’s the ticket. And I got to pump my word count! Anyway…

So we’re all in agreement that it’s going to be the Spurs and Heat, right? I mean, you literally have to be Corky from Life Goes On (still a great reference!) to think otherwise. I wasn’t really sold that a focused Heat team would ever have much trouble getting through the East. The Pacers gave us some hope but all that Danny Granger’s faux tough guy act did was awake a sleeping giant. Out West, most of America would love to see the Thunder and Heat go at it for a title but that ain’t happening. The Spurs are just too good. You know, for the longest time I absolutely loathed watching the Spurs. I thought that they were boring and dull but I have to say that I’ve come around on them. I actually find myself rooting FOR them now. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I believe that they would crush Miami or that they play the game the right way or that the franchise is all class (with the exception of some flops and whines). I don’t know what it is, but I like them. A few notes from the conference Finals:

*Even if Iceman put on a Jerry Sandusky costume and walked into an inner-city elementary school, he wouldn’t be more wrong than he is about the Spurs. They’ve won 20 games in a row, destroy everything in their path, have zero weaknesses, the best coach in the game, and a strong homecourt advantage…but for some reason he is not buying it. Dude, get a fucking clue. This multiple championship team is ELITE.

*Moses Malone once made the phrase “Fo-Fo-Fo” famous as a quasi-guarantee that his Sixers wouldn’t lose a game in the playoffs. He was just a little wrong as they lost one but I would not be shocked at all if San Antonio completes a perfect 16-0 postseason. I would not be surprised one bit. These guys just take care of business.

*One reason that I don’t like the Thunder at all is because Scott Brooks pretty much just bends over for Pop and lets him keep pounding until the pounding is done. Brooks just reacts to everything that the Spurs do. He’s always on the defensive and that philosophy never wins (case in point – Mike Brown coaches this way). That should teach Brooks a lesson since his stupid face showed up in seemingly every pack on 1989 SkyBox basketball cards that I bought. Stupid Scott Brooks!

*Out East, the Celtics will be lucky to win one game. That is what happens when you fuck around and let an average Philly team take you to a 7th game. But then again, Boston isn’t all that great anymore. Ray Allen is shooting worse than me. Avery Bradley is injured which leads to Sasha Pavlovic getting burn (that is NEVER good). Paul Pierce is (insert random Iceman Pierce insult). Rondo is an enigma. The only one consistently playing worth a shit is known faggot and white guy hater, KG.

*Let’s just ignore the fact that they can barely break 80 points with this roster for a second and focus on the truth that they have NOBODY that can stop LeBron AND Wade. Not just stop, they don’t have a player that can even slow those two down. This is a horrible match-up for Glenn Rivers and Company and they are about to be sent home soon enough.

*I absolutely can not wait for the Popovich/Spoelstra duel. That is going to be hilarious. Do you think that Stephen Jackson will have something up his sleeve for LeBron? How funny will it be to see Mario Chalmers compete against Tony Parker? Duncan vs. Bosh? Manu vs. Wade? Matt Bonner vs. Juwan Howard!!! That is ratings gold. So, yeah, Spurs/Heat is going to happen unless you are stupid like The Iceman and want to believe that a team that has won 20 in a row will now lose 4 of their next 5.

Now let’s move onto the lottery!!!

FUCK!!!  I got so damn excited as the teams were being called off.  #4 is a bit disappointing but the Cavs should be able to get Beal or MKG there.  Just stay the fuck away from Andre Drummond and Thomas Robinson would be pointless.  Damn, the lottery is a pretty fun watch though.  Nick Gilbert is dead to me!!!

Yeah, but don't worry about the NBA ever becoming clean because Anthony Davis is going to the team owned by the NBA.  Hilarious.  I love how crooked this league is.  They screw the Hornets out of that Lakers trade in the Summer but reward them with Unibrow.  Don't ever change, David Stern.  Tom Benson is the fucking worst.  Look at that asshole!  Where is his queerbate umbrella?

Anyway, I'm done for today.  I have to get back to reading The Hunger Games just like LeBron because he so cool.


GMoney said...

Ahem--nice shot selection on that final play of regulation, Bron Bron.

Least intimdating mean mug: Dwyane Wade or Kendrick Perkins???

Anonymous said...

Rondo was ELITE last night. Celtics blew their shot.

The Lottery is fun to watch...too bad the Pistons got slotted right where they were supposed to. Oh well...I do like Zeller or Henson in that area for them.

You are a moron if you actually think that was fixed for NOLA to get the # 1 pick. People are so stupid for thinking that.

Nick Lidstrom is retiring today....sad day for this guy.


GMoney said...

No, I don't believe in lottery fixing but it is fun to always accuse Stern of being dirty. I guarantee that the NBA does not want Davis playing in front of 4K floating dead black guys in NOLA. Tom Benson still sucks though. DURRR CRAWDADS DREW BREES!!!

Zeller would be a better fit than Henson for the Pistons.

Grumpy said...

It's after 9:00 and so far we have a conversation between G$ and Drew. Gonna be a long day.

Anonymous said...

I will hop in here. Spurs won't be stopped, and I couldnt be happier. It was widely said that the Thunder won't be ready until next year and it shows. For once I will cheer against the US. The Spurs international style and team are just fun to watch. I think Perkins is still looking for Tony Parker. I would kill myself if I were him. The two most embarrassing plays this season were against him.

I would also love to see BronBron get swept by the Spurs twice in a row.


GMoney said...

More like gonna be an ELITE day!

Prime99 said...

The NBA lottery is fun, but what horseshit that the last team with the worst record to pick #1 was the Magic in 2004. I don't think it is fixed but damn- how do some of these scenarios work out? Lebrun to Cleveland, Rose to Chicago, and now the Hornets get Davis.

The Spurs are by far the best team right now. It's not close.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's horseshit Prime. I actually think it's cool that NOLA got it, because their shitty team actually tried all year.

I hate the Spurs, but I will root for them against the Heat. Duncan is a good guy, so I'll roll with that.


GMoney said...

So can we just pencil in Michael Jordan taking Harrison Barnes at #2? Jordan is just awful and probably thinks that Barnes will sell tickets in Carolina even though he won't.

The Cavs need either Drummond or Robinson to just crush the pre-draft workouts. It would truly be a disaster if Davis-MKG-Beal went in front of them.

Where is Iceman and his "Spurs aren't that good" defense that he promised yesterday???

Brady said...

I have no valuable NBA input so I'm just going to whine about the Tribe. It was another great 1/3 of a season but I get the feeling we have seen the last of first place. Only 3 months to go until football!

Anonymous said...

Any post that once again proves Iceman is an idiot is good by me.


The Iceman said...

Okay. I guess I deserve some of that. But let me explain myself. The first two series the Spurs played were against a team that wasn't supposed to be there and against a team who's two best players were hurt. Obviously they're gonna cruise so I'm not sure why everyone is blowing them about making the finals in the "superior" West. It wasn't that impressive.

In this series they won both games at home. Something the top seed is supposed to do. The Thunder have been in this situation before with LA a couple years ago and tied the series when everyone was calling for an LA sweep. So they clearly have the talent to dig themselves out here. I think Scott Brooks realizes from here on out that Perkins doesn't belong on an NBA roster and goes small for the rest of the series so they can fast break the shit out of the Spurs. The Spurs aren't athletic enough to keep up with that. OKC continues to play half court? It'll be a short series.

Duncan will get double teamed from here on out (and continue to bitch about every call that doesn't go his way) and Parker isn't going to shoot a thousand percent from the field all series. Eventually the Spurs age will start to show. Their 3 main guys can't continue to play 35 plus minutes without breaking down a little.

My final argument is no matter how good the Spurs look, OKC has way too much talent to be swept in this series and are tough to beat at home. A sweep will not happen. I'm sticking with OKC to win this series...partly because I believe they can do it and partly because I fucking despise this Spurs.

GMoney said...

^^^Stupid. Anybody that wants to put asterisks on TWENTY GAME WINNING STREAKS is just not intelligent.

By the way, motivated and quasi-sane Stephen Jackson is still a hell of a basketball player.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE "Iceman is dumb as shit" days!


The Iceman said...

Guess we'll all just have to wait a couple games for you guys to get in line to suck my dick.

Sweeping the Jazz and Clippers. STAND BACK AND MARVEL, EVERYONE!! And let's certainly not forget the regular season powerhouse teams such as Cleveland, Phoenix, Golden State, Portland and Sacramento that the Spurs tore through on their way to 20 consecutive wins! Holy shit, YA'LL! Stop the fucking presses!

GMoney said...

Are you a hipster? It sounds like you're a hipster. I hope you realize that 20 game winning streaks don't just happen every year.

It's not like the Spurs made their own schedule which it seems like you think that they did. And it's not like they are skating by on fluke shots and unicorn jizz. They are KILLING EVERYONE.

I understand if you don't like the Spurs and all that, but to air-wank what they are doing is retarded as fuck. Barring an injury, they are going to cruise to a FIF title.

There is no reason in Hell that anyone should be doubting San Antonio. FACT!

The Iceman said...

I get that it's rare. I also understand they don't make their own schedule. But don't pretend like you just discovered a 5 dicked leprechaun fucking a mermaid when talking about this streak. They played shitty teams to achieve what they did. It cheapens the feat no matter what you think. It's like getting all hard if St. Bonneventure goes undefeated in the regular season. Yes, undefeated regular seasons rarely happen...but it's a lot easier when you get to play scrubs.

Anonymous said...

Keep in mind that the Spurs have now taken 11/12 against OKC. Some of those, I'd hazard to guess, were played at OKC. They even beat them once in OK during this 20 game streak, when both teams were playing for the 1 seed.

So there's that.


The Iceman said...

I'll put $20 on the Spurs not sweeping. There's that. Any takers?

Anonymous said...

I'm not taking that bet because I think OKC will grab one. But, to say that "it cheapens" their streak is fucking retarded. Great teams play shit teams every year, so why don't we have these streaks every year?

Also, the latest Aroldis story is pretty cray cray.


Anonymous said...

"I'll put $20 on the Spurs not sweeping. There's that. Any takers?"



The Iceman said...

Great, Ide. You can add it to the $5 you still owe for the NCAA bracket.

Mr. Ace said...

Once again, LOLZ Iceman.

You're right, the Spurs are not as athletic as the Thunder, but they aren't the bunch of geriatrics you think they are either. We have young role players stepping up all over the place. And, yes, semi-sane Stephen Jackson is a hell of a player. The Thunders have ZERO chance. The Spurs play their own style of play regardless of what the other team does. Duncan will still PWN any big left in the playoffs. Wrap that shit up.

This season set up perfect for the Spurs from the beginning with the lockout.