Monday, April 02, 2012
*This is going to sound strange, but I actually like Kentucky. If you just ignore their scum-sucking head coach, there isn't much there to hate. They play hard. They aren't prima donna assholes. It's not like when DeMarcus Cousins tried to start a riot at (I think) Mississippi State. These appear to be good kids...that are using UK for one year before leaving. Hey, it's not against the rules and I hope that all of them end up in The Cleve somehow. What I'm trying to say here is that I'm a sucker for "Lob City".
*Uh, Anthony Davis is awesome. This needs to be said at all times. You get 20 more pounds of muscle on that frame and in 3 years he is beating the shit out of Dwight Howard. FACT?
*Nantz said on the telecast that Davis has a twin sister. Good God, she must be hideous.
*Is it just me or does Rick Pitino look horrible? And how did he get to keep his job after that whole awesome restaurant/abortion fiasco? The man is bulletproof. He coached his ass off this year. I agree with Vitale, Louisville might be ranked #1 when the season starts next year. Shall we discuss the nightcap? I think so.
*First things first, FUCK YOU ALL! I don't mind the players. I don't mind the coach. But I do mind you. You don't deserve another title because YOU ARE THE WORST. Thankfully, you won't need to worry about that again for awhile. Blame Dut.
*I've seen a few people blame Matta for that loss. LOLWUT? Teams blow double digit FIRST HALF leads all the time. It happens. What was he supposed to do? Kansas chipped away at the lead for 15+ minutes of game time before taking it. Did you want him to call timeouts after every bucket? Ohio State fans are the dumbest.
*I figured that the Jayhawks were fucked when their pep band was playing Fallout Boy before the game when the CBS crew was showing them. That sort of behavior is punishable by death in some countries.
*There was a black dude sitting right behind Ohio State's bench that was AT LEAST 800 pounds. I hope that you all saw that guy. Because of him, crawfish is now extinct. Also, Kenny "The Rode Man" Roda got a lot of face time on press row wearing an ESPN Cleveland black polo. Way to go, Rode Man!!!
*So let's talk about how it all went wrong and the finger pointing starts where it rarely goes: Aaron Craft. He was his normal annoying self on defense, that is certain, but he made a LOT of odd decisions on offense. And his dumb layup attempt at the end of the first half that ended up as a Kansas buzzer-beating lay-in on the other end changed EVERYTHING. Craft seemed to force more shots on Saturday than he did the rest of the season combined. That was strange. And OBVZ his attempt to miss that last free throw was hilarious because it was awful. It reeked of what someone who thinks that he's smarter than everyone else in the room would do. Like, "check this awesome move out...no one will ever expect this because they are inferior to me" and then he does it and it is fucktarded. It was TOTES fucktarded. Let's be honest, you aren't at the Final Four without Craft and you aren't playing tonight because of Aaron Craft. FACT! He picked a bad night to play a stupid game.
*Don't let "Buckets" Thomas off the hook. He was worthless. I truly believe that it's a 50/50 toss-up that he leaves school.
*Sullinger got owned by a big white stiff. Jeff Withey is alright, I guess, but he's not a guy that should force a lottery pick into 14 missed shots. Goddamn, who actually played well for the Buckeyes considering that not one bench player even took a shot!!!
*Lenzelle Smith (and no one outside of Nap is going to get this reference) looks like he went to Buzz Cramer's Shooting School. ELITE! Clearly, when Buford plays horrible (often), the team wins. When he shoots well, runs back on defense smiling like a cocksucker as if making shots is a frequent occurrence, and keeps bombing away the team loses. Buford is a cancer? Buford is a cancer!
*Thomas Robinson...SICK. That guy is about two more inches (in height, you perverts) from being The Total Package Lex Luger.
*As I said on Facebook as soon as the game went final: "Way to lose to a school that employs Charlie Weis". I'm a joke maker.
*Finally, Ohio State deserved to lose a heart breaker and it is for a reason that even the most staunch Bucktard would agree with...when you employ Greg Paulus, you don't deserve to win. Ever. You know what, now I know why Craft rubs me the wrong way this year. He is a more talented Paulus. He plays just like him except without the floor-slapping (maybe next year?). It has nothing to do with Craft's possibly Asian father or hot jailbait sister. It's that he has morphed into Greg Paulus version 2.0. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Now that we have gotten rid of all the dead weight, it's time to focus on who will be walking up the Werner ladder tonight. Yeah, it's obviously going to be Kentucky. Kansas can't beat them. And as much as I don't want Calipari to be happy, I will sacrifice that for my love of Seal. Go win a title tonight, Seal, because you aren't going to be very good next year. Will a soul-crushing loss motivate Dut to show up today? I doubt it. O-H!