Monday, April 02, 2012

Tonight The Blood Gets Extra Blue

How about that?  Out of the big 5 "Blue Blood" programs in college hoops (UK, UCLA, Duke, UNC, and Kansas), when the hell was the last time that two of them played for a title?  That's pretty cool actually and has obviously piqued my interest for tonight's game.  It's not like I wasn't going to watch it anyway but it might help me avoid flipping over to Raw or something.  But how did we get here?  Oh, were you hoping that I would just forget about that titanic Buckeye chicken choking?  I did not.  Here are my notes from Final Four Saturday:

*This is going to sound strange, but I actually like Kentucky.  If you just ignore their scum-sucking head coach, there isn't much there to hate.  They play hard.  They aren't prima donna assholes.  It's not like when DeMarcus Cousins tried to start a riot at (I think) Mississippi State.  These appear to be good kids...that are using UK for one year before leaving.  Hey, it's not against the rules and I hope that all of them end up in The Cleve somehow.  What I'm trying to say here is that I'm a sucker for "Lob City".

*Uh, Anthony Davis is awesome.  This needs to be said at all times.  You get 20 more pounds of muscle on that frame and in 3 years he is beating the shit out of Dwight Howard.  FACT?

*Nantz said on the telecast that Davis has a twin sister.  Good God, she must be hideous.

*Is it just me or does Rick Pitino look horrible?  And how did he get to keep his job after that whole awesome restaurant/abortion fiasco?  The man is bulletproof.  He coached his ass off this year.  I agree with Vitale, Louisville might be ranked #1 when the season starts next year.  Shall we discuss the nightcap?  I think so.

*First things first, FUCK YOU ALL!  I don't mind the players.  I don't mind the coach.  But I do mind you.  You don't deserve another title because YOU ARE THE WORST.  Thankfully, you won't need to worry about that again for awhile.  Blame Dut.

*I've seen a few people blame Matta for that loss.  LOLWUT?  Teams blow double digit FIRST HALF leads all the time.  It happens.  What was he supposed to do?  Kansas chipped away at the lead for 15+ minutes of game time before taking it.  Did you want him to call timeouts after every bucket?  Ohio State fans are the dumbest.

*I figured that the Jayhawks were fucked when their pep band was playing Fallout Boy before the game when the CBS crew was showing them.  That sort of behavior is punishable by death in some countries.

*There was a black dude sitting right behind Ohio State's bench that was AT LEAST 800 pounds.  I hope that you all saw that guy.  Because of him, crawfish is now extinct.  Also, Kenny "The Rode Man" Roda got a lot of face time on press row wearing an ESPN Cleveland black polo.  Way to go, Rode Man!!!

*So let's talk about how it all went wrong and the finger pointing starts where it rarely goes:  Aaron Craft.  He was his normal annoying self on defense, that is certain, but he made a LOT of odd decisions on offense.  And his dumb layup attempt at the end of the first half that ended up as a Kansas buzzer-beating lay-in on the other end changed EVERYTHING.  Craft seemed to force more shots on Saturday than he did the rest of the season combined.  That was strange.  And OBVZ his attempt to miss that last free throw was hilarious because it was awful.  It reeked of what someone who thinks that he's smarter than everyone else in the room would do.  Like, "check this awesome move one will ever expect this because they are inferior to me" and then he does it and it is fucktarded.  It was TOTES fucktarded.  Let's be honest, you aren't at the Final Four without Craft and you aren't playing tonight because of Aaron Craft.  FACT!  He picked a bad night to play a stupid game.

*Don't let "Buckets" Thomas off the hook.  He was worthless.  I truly believe that it's a 50/50 toss-up that he leaves school. 

*Sullinger got owned by a big white stiff.  Jeff Withey is alright, I guess, but he's not a guy that should force a lottery pick into 14 missed shots.  Goddamn, who actually played well for the Buckeyes considering that not one bench player even took a shot!!!

*Lenzelle Smith (and no one outside of Nap is going to get this reference) looks like he went to Buzz Cramer's Shooting School.  ELITE!  Clearly, when Buford plays horrible (often), the team wins.  When he shoots well, runs back on defense smiling like a cocksucker as if making shots is a frequent occurrence, and keeps bombing away the team loses.  Buford is a cancer?  Buford is a cancer!

*Thomas Robinson...SICK.  That guy is about two more inches (in height, you perverts) from being The Total Package Lex Luger.

*As I said on Facebook as soon as the game went final: "Way to lose to a school that employs Charlie Weis".  I'm a joke maker.

*Finally, Ohio State deserved to lose a heart breaker and it is for a reason that even the most staunch Bucktard would agree with...when you employ Greg Paulus, you don't deserve to win.  Ever.  You know what, now I know why Craft rubs me the wrong way this year.  He is a more talented Paulus.  He plays just like him except without the floor-slapping (maybe next year?).  It has nothing to do with Craft's possibly Asian father or hot jailbait sister.  It's that he has morphed into Greg Paulus version 2.0.  NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Now that we have gotten rid of all the dead weight, it's time to focus on who will be walking up the Werner ladder tonight.  Yeah, it's obviously going to be Kentucky.  Kansas can't beat them.  And as much as I don't want Calipari to be happy, I will sacrifice that for my love of Seal.  Go win a title tonight, Seal, because you aren't going to be very good next year.  Will a soul-crushing loss motivate Dut to show up today?  I doubt it.  O-H!


Grumpy said...

Fuck Coach Cal. I never want to see him happy.

I'm beginning to worry about Dut. Is it possible to jerk off until you die?

Anonymous said...

I thought you would have had at least one reference to Davis's fucked up grill. It's front and center of that .gif of yours.


Anonymous said...

Kidd-Gilchrist will be a force in the ene be a (where the NBA celebrates latinos). Seriously if that guy gets a jumper watch out.

OSU fans that are blaming Matta are just your typical OSU football fans who wear blinders and see it their way or no way.

Kentucky by 20 tonight.... book it. Kansas is rotten.

Anthony Davis puts on weight, he has an outside jumper and can dribble..... he will be better than Dwight Howard. How messed up are his teeth though? His eyebrows are bad but his teeth are jacked.


Anonymous said...

"*Nantz said on the telecast that Davis has a twin sister. Good God, she must be hideous."

We've seen her. Her name is Brittany Griner.

We all know the fans are gonna excuse title wave us today so I'll just say that the better team won. Period. And in the end, isn't that what really matters? The two best teams in college basketball are playing for the title tonight so you really can't complain. Oh...and nice travel call on Kansas that wasn't with less than a minute to go that waived off a basket and kept Ohio in it. Even with the refs bailing you out you still couldn't pull it off.

GMoney said...

I thought that Pitino said it best when he said that he hasn't always liked teams from Kentucky but he does like this one. I could not agree more. But then he tried to have sex with me on a plate of ravioli and I was all like "no means no".

Two days in a row from Lange? He is the new Dut!

Drew tells me that OU hired Jim Christian. He thinks that it is a LOL move while us MAC fans know how great of a hire that is. Bring Boals to Oxford!

Anonymous said...

Lets be real G$ - you dont love any of your commenters, but thanks for actually making me believe you might want UK to win tonight.

I know I am a bias, but Bill Self has to be almost as hateable as Calipari, if you arent a UK fan? That guy is a fucking prick.

Is Desean Thomas going to come back since he played like ass on Saturday?

Dan Gilbert needs to do everything in his power to get Anthony Davis or Kidd-Gilchrist.

Go Cats!


Anonymous said...

This is gonna fire up Seal, but when has that ever stopped me in the past. I'm not sold on Kidd Gilchrist being a "stud" in the NBA. Yes...he can get to the tin like no other but his jumpshot is fucking ass. I don't know of many one dimensional shooting guards/small forwards that ever reached stud status in the NBA.

Anonymous said...

I haven't spoken with any OSU fan that is blaming Matta for Saturday. Odd. He can't not make shots.

Definitely disappointing nights out of Craft, Sully and Buckets.

Last year hurt wayyyyyy more for me than Saturday did tho.

I think it's 50/50 Buckets is gonna leave too. He is NOT a 1st round pick. But, he's really really dumb and wants to play professional basketball. So, it's a toss up.

I'll be rooting for Kansas tonight. Fuck Calipari.

Something I forgot to mention last week. I accidentally listened to Dick Vitale on M&M one morning....because with OSU in the Final Four I'm a big enough whore to listen to that show just to hear people takling about that. So Vitale is on and he goes out of his way to say that "Rick Pitino is a great Catholic man that goes to church on Sunday mornings". Now I'm not all. But, I'm pretty fucking sure that cheating on your wife by fucking some whore on a bar in some restaurant...then paying for her not someone that should be raved about as a "great Catholic man". Vitale's love for his coaching buddies is so fucking disgusting. That's why Bobby Knight not saying the word Kentucky is perfectly fine in my book. He has no respect for Calipari and that's how he shows it.


Anonymous said...

Iceman - You are right, he doesnt have a great jumper. But a few things to add that make me not afraid to draft him and think he will be a very good pro. 1 - he doesnt turn 19 until September. He is still a kid and looks like a beast on the floor. 2 - Coaches and prospects all want him because he is very smart and the hardest working guy on the court. Cal said he is the most coachable player he has ever had. 3 - He is the best on the ball defender in the SEC and one of the best in the nation. 4 - He is 6'7" and rebounds like a PF. Ill take him on the Cavs tomorrow.


Anonymous said...

That's what worries me about guys like MKG, Seal. They go into the NBA on the heels of raw talent and need a few years in the league to develop into the player everyone thinks they can be. NBA coaches don't interact with players the same way as collge coaches do. All it takes is MKG getting drafted to the wrong team/coach to ruin him forever.

There's no doubt he has talent but a 19 year old kid getting his ass mauled then planted on the end of the bench forever can't be good for anyone's matter how good of a kid he is and no matter how coachable he is.

GMoney said...

Iceman, you're reaching. LeBron didn't have a very good jumper when he came into the league, too, and he sure as shit didn't play defense like MKG. I'm not comparing the two, but the point is that you can learn that stuff. If you put MKG on the Cavs today, he's playing 30+ minutes. He will be fine.

I think that Missed Buckets is definitely a late first rounder because good teams are always looking for guys that can space the floor. If they still had their pick, he would be a nice fit for the Lakers to help un-clog the lanes.

Drew, you're nuts, I only accept advice from the Vitale Bald Dome Index!

Just know, Buckeye fans, that the only baller to raise a championship banner at your dump of an arena is my boy, KOSTA KOUFOS. Show some respect.

Anonymous said...

I agree that last years loss hurt more but not by a lot. To be as much in control as they were on Sat and then blow it, really stings. Espcially the way they pissed down their leg the last 2 mins.


Mr. Ace said...

Davis looks that giant ogre warrior on 300. That's probably the twin.

I really dislike Kansas but I have I no dea why. I am still rooting for a giant Coach Cal collapse, though.

Kentucky is wierdly likable this year.

Buckets is still a better pro prospect than Sully. Sully is going to get abused in the association.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Drew. The loss on Saturday did not hurt nearly as much as last year. Last year the plurality throughout the country expected Ohio State to win the whole damn thing. This year, most thought OSU would be lucky to get as far as they did. I am not one for moral victories, but this team overachieved and played very well down the stretch. Also, I had no confidence in OSU winning tonight if they had won Saturday.

Sullinger is definitely gone. He admitted as much last weekend when he told everyone that Amir Williams is talented but did not play much, because Williams was behind Ravenel and Sully, but that everyone needs to watch out for Williams next year.

Thomas shouldn't leave, but he will. Even though staying for another year could make him more money in his first two years in the NBA than his first three years if he were to leave now, he will still leave. Hell, before his freshman year he made it pretty clear he wanted to be "one-and-done". He just wants to be hood rich, so even though, on paper, it may be 50-50 that he leaves, I really think it is 70-30.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

"I'm not comparing the two"

That's exactly what you're doing.

I'm not saying that MKG absolutely won't be able to develop a jumper in the NBA. Anything is possible, I suppose. I'm just saying that I don't know if I trust his jumper coming around before coaching staffs start to give up on him. Using your took Lebron 7 years to develop his jumper. Do you think teams/coaches will have the same patience with MKG? I don't.

GMoney said...

He can get to the rim at will and plays ELITE defense, he'll be just fine. If he had a jumper right now to match, he would be Kobe Bryant. 18 year old kids aren't perfect basketball players yet. God, you're dumb. I understand the justified hate toward Barnes, but not MKG.

OHIO STATE OVERACHIEVED??? LOLWUT? I actually, truly believe that if they were playing tonight, they would beat UK.

Fat Betty Draper. That is all.

Anonymous said...


Lets not forget, Ohio state went into the final week of the B1G season down two games after playing like shit for much of the middle of the season. If you would have told me on March 1 that Ohio State would be a Final Four team, I would have laughed at you. When I say OSU overachieved, I say it based on their season as a whole, not on how they played down the stretch.

Kentucky would be a matchup nightmare with Ohio State. Sullinger would struggle all night to get a shot off over Anthony Davis. When Sullinger does not play well, Ohio State loses. Plus, Ohio State's transition defense has not been the greatest and Kentucky thrives on fast break points.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I don't think we would have beaten Kansas. As Strut noted, our transition defense is atrocious and Kentucky is ELITE at transition offense. It would have been very tough.

OSU started the season at # 3. I actually think if you did an NBA style best of seven...that OSU would be the third best team in the country....behind Kentucky and a fully healthy UNC.

Buckets will NOT be a better pro than Sully. That's crazy talk.


Anonymous said...

What are you talking about?? He's no where near the talent that Lebron or Kobe was at that age. Not even close. I understand he's not perfect yet but the league is full of ELITE defenders that can keep him out of the lane and neutralize his only ability on the offensive end. Unless you think MKG = Derrick Rose. Talk about dumb.

One dimensional lottery picks flame out all the time. Just because he's a Calipari product you think MKG is bust proof?

Brady said...

No excuses from me today. Thomas was god awful, Sullinger got swatted at least 5 times and Craft made some questionable decisions on offense. It was just an epic choke job at the end. Whatever. Time to concentrate on Baseball and Spring practice!

I LOVE the fact that Ubaldo is throwing heaters at his old team during Spring Training. It's because he is butt hurt over money but it was still awesome nonetheless. How does your elbow feel today Tulo?

GMoney said...

He's hardly "one dimensional" considering that he can get to the rack at will, creates his own shots, and plays Bruce Bowen defense while covering multiple positions. He isn't bust-proof as no one is, but he's a better player than those at the same position like Beal, Lamb, and Barnes. I would guess that every team in the league would take him at #2 and have no concerns about doing so.

If Ohio State was anything this year, they underachieved. But I don't think that that is true. I would say that they "achieved". They did what they were expected to do.

Anonymous said...

Who cares if he can create his own shot if he can't knock it down outside 5 feet? He will not get to the rim as easily in the NBA. FACT. I agree he's better than the 3 guys you mentioned, just don't think he's a home run like everyone seems to think he is.

Anonymous said...

On a non retarded note; Game of Thrones was tits last night. Light on sex, but hey, they did kill an infant in cold blood. That is definitely going in a new direction!

Strangely enough, as much of a little shit Joffrey is, I'm really starting to warm up to the little cunt.


Anonymous said...

I think Game of Thrones will be even more ELITE this season than last. It seems like the show is headed towards a 4-5 way power struggle that will ultimately end with Joffrey Lannister's entitled and ignorant ass ending up with his head on a spike. I have to admit though, Tywain Lannister (the midget) is becoming my favorite character.

-Lil' Strut

Mr. Ace said...

Damn, the Scott Van Pelt Show is featuring some call who calls himself coach and Linda Cohn. Cohn has a face for radio and a voice for BDSM porn, gag included. Just horrible.

In Iceman's defense, gulp, who is the last 2/3 to come in without a jumper and be effective/stud like? I ask this because I honestly can't think of anyone recently. I think he will be good, not sure if he will be top 3 pick Zack Novak.

GMoney said...

FACT - Iceman hates every player in the last ten NBA Drafts. I believe his opinion of Kevin Durant was "meh".

I would say that MKG's floor is Caron Butler and his ceiling is Scottie Pippen. Basically, he would be an incredible #2 that can play four positions. And he would be well worth the second overall pick.

That was definitely the first baby stabbing that I've ever seen on TV. Considering that the little shit was a bastard made it even better.

GMoney said...

I just like how one (or two?) of us is completely dismissing an 18 year old stud as if he can never improve his stroke. HILARITY.

Ace, that would be Jonathon "The Coach" Coachman who worked in the WWE for 8 or so years.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like I really need to get hip to this Game of Thrones show...

Anonymous said...

Game of Thrones is everything that is right about television.


Anonymous said...

He's not even the best player on his own team, G$. Forgive me if I have reservations about a guy who has a worse jumper than Rebecca Lobo. I love how you compare MKG to Pippen and Caron Butler...both good outside shooters. You probably think Luke Harrangody and Kevin Love are comparable too, right?

I only hate players the Cavs draft...get it right.

GMoney said...

So we're punishing the guy for not being as good as Anthony Davis??? This makes sense to you?

Caron Butler is not a good outside shooter and he never has been. But at one time he was excellent from the mid-range. Hot garbage now though. Pippen didn't have a good three-ball into later in his career.


GMoney said...

Pippen and Butler = both career 32% 3 pt shooters

Pippen = 47% from 2
Butler = 43% from 2

Both had good games from 15 feet and in and got to the hoop when they wanted to. The numbers agree with this.

Not even remotely ELITE shooters. What was your point again??? I feel like you have no point.

Anonymous said...

Matt Cain signs 5 yr/$107.5M extension. So much for G$'s "CONTRACT YEAR" pick there in fantasy.


GMoney said...

Oooooh, now he goes on my DUD list since he just got paid. Sneaky bastard...I caught him.

Anonymous said...

Both also had a jumper that could extend to 20 feet and neither shot 26% from 3s.

My point is that MKG doesn't have the jump shooting skills of either Pippen or Butler so the comparison is dumb.

I think a Gerald Wallace or Rodney Stuckey comparison is more realistic to the type of player MKG will be.