Friday, April 27, 2012
*I have no problem with the Browns trading up one spot and grabbing Trent Richardson. He's the guy that they want so go get him. It makes sense to me. They learned their lesson from the RG3 debacle. DON'T BE A PUSSY. This is why you have 13 picks...so you can move up and take studs.
*That being said, I still wouldn't do it but I respect the cajones shown by the Browns front office. But then again, knowing those people, they will probably draft Trent Green and his papier mache head.
*Ide informed me around 7 pm (remember, he is at the draft and I hope that he shares some ELITE stories today) that he is prepared to yell something racist if the Browns make a horrible pick. I guess we will need to wait until #22. He might get drowned out by Jets fans though. I will absolutely lose my shit if I hear "CHRIS BERMAN IS A N*****".
*RAY LEWIS POETRY SLAM! I can't wait for him to get paralyzed on the field.
*My wife won't stop talking to me. This is the worst. SHUT UP, WOMAN! I just threatened to murder her. She does not realize how fine of a line she is walking right now. DO NOT RUIN MY DRAFT NIGHT.
*I like the Jags fucking over the Rams and getting Blackmon. We will find out soon if Gabbert is garbage or not. Blackmon and Laurent Robinson (with MoJo) = no more excuses. All of these trades are making my boxers moist.
*Mel does not think that Ryan Kalil is ELITE. Thanks for the shoutout! Now we know that Kiper reads this blog.
*WHOA! Dallas trades up to 6 for (I assume) Claiborne. Shit is getting wild up in this piece! By the way, Roger Goodell shakes player's hands/hugs like Mark Schlereth on the radio...a complete failure to be cool and urban. Wow, someone in Claiborne's family looks like a black Snooki.
*Ryan Tannehill looks like a Detroit Tigers fan. That is all. Oh, and Miami will be forever terrible.
*Through ten picks, it seems like everyone has dreads. Even Matt Kalil's beard was in dreads.
*LOL Dontari Poe's evil queen haircut!
*I have no idea why the Eagles traded up to get Fletcher Cox when the three teams in front of them had no need to take a DT. Classic stupid Andy Reid. How's Brandon Graham working out for you?
*LarryFitz AND Michael Floyd! Wow, the Cardinals are loaded! Oh, they still have Kevin Kolb. Nevermind, they're fucked.
*BRUCE IRVIN! Pete Carroll drafts fucking weird guys every damn year. Terrible.
*It looks like I nailed it than Riley Reiff would fall and fall hard. I AM SO SMART!
*Nice job by the Bears to completely ignore the very good OL available and drafting a LB who looks like a gay version of me.
*New England trades up to draft Chandler Bing (that's MS. Chanandler Bong) which Schefter totally spoils because he is an asshole. Where is his suspension for embarrassing The Shield, Roger???
*By the way, the biggest bust in this draft will be Kendall Wright.
*Uh, who nailed Weeden at 22 to the Browns? THIS FUCKING GUY DID. I'm going to need time to process this because they left ELITE OL on the board to grab the grown man. Why are DeCastro and Reiff dropping this far. Those are two great players!
*Great value pick by the Lions. Fat Stafford is only going to get better with more protection. Plus, tackles wearing #77 are always ELITE. And the Steelers have a stud like DeCastro fall into their lap. Goddammit, that's an awesome pick by a team that I hate. Sorry, Grump, no Brandon Brooks for you. He's going to New Orleans tonight (lock it up).
*Alright, I'm just going to ignore the remaining first round picks and assume that nothing bonkers happens. Time to put the laptop away.
Well, shit, this was a lot longer than I intended. Whatever. Fire away (can't wait to hear from Browns backers today). Save some venom as I'm sure I'll review the entire draft with winners and losers on Monday.