|Our home and native land.|
*Damman and I were sitting at a bar on Saturday and we both said the exact same thing at almost the same time: The Toronto Blue Jays have the best uniforms in the history of sports. Those things are the greatest. I love the white line through the numbers and letters and the red maple leaf. AWESOME look. And the Blue Jays are pretty good, too, as long as Colby Rasmus could ever get his head out of his ass.
*Someone needs to tell Phil Hughes and Freddy Garcia that they have a month to stop sucking dicks before Pettitte and Pineda come back and take their jobs. And when will Mark Teixeira ever fucking figure out how to hit a baseball in the month of April. Shit is getting old.
*Runner-up for best uniforms are the Baltimore Orioles with the smiling bird on the hat. Old school logos are almost always better.
*We couldn't even make it through one week without Bobby Valentine flipping out on the Boston media! As I keep saying, this is going to end early for him. Now that Ellsbury is out indefinitely, they are only going to get worse since the bullpen sucks and HAVE YOU SEEN THEIR OUTFIELD!
*The Tigers are good. We already knew this. They are easily the least likable team in baseball. We know this as well. Here's my question though: Shouldn't Max Scherzer be better than this? He has very good stuff and has been around long enough that he SHOULD be an ace by now. I don't get it. If I enjoyed southern rock and owned stock in Franco American, I would be pissed at how inconsistent Scherzer is.
*The Twins are worse than I thought. The Royals and White Sox are a little better than I thought. The Indians? Well, I think I nailed it with them. The offense sucks and the pitching is pretty good. I have no idea what Johnny Damon is going to do for them. Hell, they should have signed Damon in January and cut Grady Sizemore loose. That would have made much more sense. How about that brawl on Saturday night! Wank. It's hard to take someone seriously as a tough guy when Jack Hannahan's robust bald spot is the focal point.
*Why is Tim Kurkjian hosting the Sunday afternoon Baseball Tonight? That is not in his arsenal at all. Speaking of which, stop wondering if Albert Pujols will figure it out. He's Albert FUCKING Pujols. There is nothing wrong. Here's an actual question that needs to be addressed: Is Yu Darvish any good?
*I thought that the Nats were a year away from being a real contender, but that might be too late. Their pitching is unreal. Looking at the rest of the NL East, they don't have more holes on the roster than anyone else. The Phillies can't score. The Braves are terrible. The Mets have played well so far but you know that they will fade fast. I honestly think that the Nats can make the playoffs this year.
*The Marlins are a goddamn mess. Between Ozzie and Josh Johnson being awful and Heath Bell being a worse version of Joe Borowski, my preseason NL champion looks mighty shit-tastic so far.
*There are three good teams in the Central and three awful teams. I still think that Ryan Braun will have a bad season amidst all of the distraction and boos that will follow him. I don't know if the Reds can score enough although good for them for locking up Votto and Phillips long term. I mentioned this around World Series time last year but since I own him in fantasy it bears repeating: dropping Arnold Mr. Freeze lines when referencing David Freese is awesome. CHILL OUT!
*It's a damn shame that Brian Wilson and his greatness is likely going to need a second Tommy John surgery. I didn't even know that this was possible. I thought that once you had it, you didn't need it again. The Beard must be a pioneer. I would assume that his career is probably over now and that's a shame. Also, does anyone know why Tim Lincecum sucks?
*I don't buy the Dodgers at all. They still have a lineup with Kemp, Ethier, and 7 outs. Chris Capuano and Aaron Harang are actually starting for them. They will tail off. That being said...
*It's over. MY GUY, Chad Billingsley, pretty much has the Cy Young locked up already! Between Bills and Jon "The Nose" Niese, Ohio can not be stopped. What the hell is going on? Defiance represent! Two of the most dominant pitchers through the first week and a half of the baseball season went to the same shitty high school in northwest Ohio. Insane.
I think that that about covers it all for today. If there is anything that you would like to add or challenge me on, you know where to put it. The Iceman is in Texas for the week so he shouldn't ruin things today. That's a bonus!