Friday, April 20, 2012

D'OH Ryan

Fuck me?  FUCK YOU!
Most of you probably know about this or have heard snippets of it already, but yesterday Bo Ryan went on Mike and Mike to talk about this whole transfer mess that Wisconsin is currently embroiled in. He COMPLETELY embarrassed himself and his school. I mean that was like a nuclear meltdown that would make Bob Knight cringe. Look, we all know that Mike and Mike are about as hard-hitting as Kate Upton’s tits. Did that make sense? I kind of just wanted to throw “KATE UPTON’S TITS” in there to increase search traffic. What I’m trying to say is that Mike and Mike are the kings of lob-ball journalism. They haven’t asked a tough question in a coon’s age. Yet yesterday morning they got Boseph to go completely mental. It was quite glorious actually. Anyway, the story is as followed:

Former Iowa Mr. Basketball, Jarrod Uthoff, redshirted this season in his first year with the program. He decided that he wanted to go elsewhere because he didn’t think that he fit in with Ryan’s style of play. I’m not sure why he didn’t think of that before signing there but whatever. Wisconsin/Ryan informed Uthoff that he would not be permitted to contact (and vice versa) every Big Ten and ACC School, plus Iowa State and Marquette. Uthoff is appealing this obviously since that seems like a bit much. Recently, we learned that Wisconsin claims that the kid did not file the proper appeal paperwork on time. This claim is a lie because the letter was sitting in the associate AD’s mailbox the entire fucking time. Now, we wait for Barry Alvarez or somebody to rule. This is what we know. And now it’s time for my opinion.

First of all, let’s just get this out there; nobody is going to want a guy that looks like this.
Colombine was awesome.
Second, I can go either way when it comes to transfers. Most of the time, I believe that if you make a commitment to a school and they give you a scholarship, you should stay there and honor that commitment. But there are some exceptions to that rule. Unfortunately, many kids make that choice based on the coach and if there is upheaval surrounding that job, then that effects things. Other times, kids are just in way over their heads and would be better off at a smaller school where they can play. Or, you know, drugs and stuff. I get all of that. What I’m trying to say here is that I’m a total hypocrite. I have no problem with stupid kids wanting to play elsewhere…unless they don’t want to play for my alma mater anymore. Then, FUCK THEM. But transferring happens all the time. It seems like every program either loses a kid or brings in a transfer every year now. Whether Bo Ryan and I like it or not, it is part of the culture and it always will be.

Third, Bo Ryan is being a huge asshole that is out of touch with reality but at the same time, he has every right to enforce a competition clause. I sort of see where he is coming from. This kid knows what he likes to do and his tendencies so he doesn’t want him to end up somewhere where that knowledge could be used against him. I’m told that this happens in the business world all the time (the blocking of employees from going to a rival company). But throwing a massive net over 20-30 schools seems a bit harsh. It’s like using a sledge hammer to kill a spider. And why “all of the ACC and Iowa State” anyway? Wisconsin plays one game against the ACC every year; is he THAT paranoid? I’m all for Bo Ryan looking like a complete shithead and going insane on national radio but some times you just need to pick your battles. This is not one that they should be fighting at all. Wisconsin is getting MURDERED in the court of public opinion (much like Phil Martelli and St. Joe’s did earlier this year when a similar story came out about them blocking a transfer for no good reason).

It’s time to just meet halfway, block him from talking to Marquette and the Big Ten, and thank Buddha that this PR nightmare is over. What say you though? Should Bo Ryan stick to his guns, relent on his cocksuckerness for once, or swallow ten fistfuls of rat poison and do us all a huge favor?

FUCK!  After I wrote this beauty, goddamn Barry Alvarez ruled that just the Big Ten restriction remains.  Whatever, I'm not changing anything.

That’s it for me this week. As I have mentioned, I am on stay-cation all of next week (fuck yeah!). But Showtime is not showing this year’s AVN Awards for me to live blog (fuck no!). Yet I’m already working on my mock draft for Thursday (SICK!). But my in-laws are rumored to be staying over again next weekend (good for you, bad for me!). Make sure that you get here early and often on Monday as I have breaking site news that you all need/are dying to know (trust me). Love you, bye.

35 comments:

Grumpy said...

The kid doesn't want to play for you, let him go. Ryan comes off looking like an asshole and every potential recruit should remember this episode.

I have bigger problems. Ide wants to be my Facebook friend. Advice?

Anonymous said...

The kid doesn't like your offense Bo.....DEAL WITH IT.

It makes me happy that Wisconsin has the biggest douchebag coaches in both basketball and football in the B1G.

--Drew

GMoney said...

I'm just puzzled as to why the kid committed at all if he didn't like the offense. It's not like Ryan's offense has evolved. They've been running the same shit for a decade. Stupid kid that looks like a school shooter...

I'm a sucker for random vengeance though so I respect Ryan for being all "I'm not good enough for you, so fuck you".

Grump, I would accept that way you would know for sure who your worst FB friend is.

GMoney said...

By the way, only 55K tickets sold for tomorrow's Urban renewal project? I'm shocked.

The Grandy Man Can and just did!

Anyone see LeBron and Wade play Thugball for no apparent reason last night? Assholes...the whole lot of 'em.

MUDawgfan said...

Fuck - I hope Miami head John Cooper is blowing this kids cellphone up. Get his ass to Oxford. Throw some bagel and deli and Tri-Delts at him and get him to sign.

Drew is dead on about Wisconsin and their coaches. No massive state school has achieved less with more. They should have played LSU for the National Champtionship game this year but they have absolutely no idea how to win important football games. None.

How about Oregon and there "we let our players police themselves regarding marijuana" policy. Fucking clowns. I look forward to the NCAA dropping the hammer on them in 2018.

Anonymous said...

Gonna have 80K at the spring game easily tomorrow G$.

LeBron settinga pick on Lucas was not "thug ball". Lucas looked like a cunt with how he reacted like that. I also liked Wade's toss of Rip, just because I don't like Rip.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Why was Iowa St included in the original ban list? I know the kid is from Iowa, but was Bo just trying to really stick it to the kid by not letting him go home to play?

-Damman

Anonymous said...

And yes, there is not a douchier combination of coaches in college sports than Ryan/Bielema.

-Damman

GMoney said...

Hmmmmm who can out-douche Wisconsin? Good question. Brian Kelly might beat them both with or without Mike Brey's help. Because, you know, Kelly kills people and gets away with it.

25K walk-ups? That seems like a lot. Weather doesn't look too good either. I know this because I already got a call from an AD today saying that we may have to cancel tomorrow.

LeBron dropped the shoulder on Lucas. You know it. He's probably still mad because Lucas fucked his butt a few months ago. It was a dirty play. Wade just threw Rip down unprovoked. It was a strange play. The sad thing is that both teams know who will beat who in the postseason.

I love how old white people think that college football players smoking joints is shocking. It is not.

Anonymous said...

If for some reason you don't like Mora Jr....Howland is pretty easy to dislike. But, they don't compare to Wisconsin either.

Weather is gonna be fine tomorrow. Gonna rain tonight/early morning and be fine for the game. All students and employees...etc...people with Buck ID's get into the game free tomorrow, so there is a bunch of people right there. I believe lots of tix will be sold today too by people who waited to see if it would rain. 80K easily.

--Drew

Prime99 said...

First, can we call this guy Johnny Utah from now on?

I think the end result was fair, but I took a railing from Colin Cowherd to get it done. You it's bad when No State Tax is on your case for morals.

I am intrigued as to how they monitor all the free vs. paid tickets for the game tomorrow. Any of it reserved or is it all GA?

Anonymous said...

Bo Ryan is being a whiny little bitch and I think deep down he knows it. However, hes such an asshole that he will never backtrack on any of this. I can understand the B1G restriction as many schools do this. However, to say that a kid could not compete for a state university in his home state that is an out of conference school is just bogus. Good for Alvarez for pulling in the reigns on this one.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

Oh and the Bielema/Ryan duo might be the douchiest head coach combination in all of college sports. Both are hypocrites, assholes, and whiny bitches. I can't wait for Urban to whoop that ass this year in Camp Randall.

-Lil' Strut

GMoney said...

I'm sorry but this needs to stop. Now that Wisconsin has a QB and the taste of last year still in their mouths, Ohio State isn't winning in Camp Randall this year. No fucking way. Granted, this may be the last time that Bielema beats Urban ever again, but he will do just that. Let's not forget that this is still not the greatest team that OSU has ever fielded. The sick talent is all 18 year old kids that will have a marginal impact in 2012. Next year is the year that the Fuckeyes will start rolling but it won't be this year. I speak the TROOF.

Dear God, what have I done? I just opened up Hell's gates, didn't I?

Prime, I believe that if students and faculty get in free that there are large sections of the stadium that are GA. They sure as shit aren't letting everyone in for free (I assume).

Also, it's time to cancel Community. It just keeps getting worse every week. Chevy Chase is surprisingly right--the show is barely a comedy anymore. Last night was atrocious.

Not atrocious: RonSwan's desire to try that big cone of meat.

Anonymous said...

Strut...I can't wait for Wisconsin this year too. The games will be fun for forever with Urban against Beliema until Beliema gets fired. Urban will definitely throw in some fuck you TD's at the end of those games whenever given the opportunity.

Prime...it's GA.

G$ you're a cunt if you think LeBron threw a shoulder into him.

Also, what do you mean by "both teams both know who will beat who in the postseason"?

--Drew

Anonymous said...

G$...I'm willing to bet you something weird....maybe something shameful that OSU beats Wisconsin this year. Wisconsin is not going to be good this year.

-Drew

Anonymous said...

I feel the problem with the Tressel regime is that they never looked at Wisconsin as a rivalry like they did with UM and PSU. In contrast, UW always looks at OSU as the biggest game of the season. However, after Bielema made it personal with his accusations against Urban, you better believe Urban is going to try to put him in his place. When looking at Urban's past results against rivals, I wouldn't bet against him in this year's OSU/UW game. He will be treating UW as a rival.

-Lil' Strut

The Iceman said...

Last night i ate at a restaurant where the inside looked like the streets of an old west boomtown. A guy walked in, tipped his hat to me, said "howdy", put it on a hat hook and sat down. I started looking around for Al Swearingen...

Anonymous said...

Awful story Iceman.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Drew, the Bulls and the Heat both know that the Bulls can't beat Miami in a series. Absolutely nothing has changed except for Derrick Rose is a pussy now.

Anonymous said...

I actually think it would be a good series and would go Heat in 7.

Don't want to bet something shameful on OSU/Bielema...even though you said OSU has no chance of winning?

--Drew

GMoney said...

You threw down the gauntlet. You name the wager, tough guy.

If Wisconsin wins then you suck Grumpy's dick. If Ohio State wins then Grumpy sucks off Dut.

Seems fair to me.

GMoney said...

Back to the original theme from the post, I couldn't believe how Mike and Mike were stepping all over each other trying to be the first to trap Bo in a lie. That was surprisingly awesome radio from too bland idiots.

Grumpy said...

Mr. spell check writes "too" in place of "two". Now who looks stupid?

I'm qualify as an old white person and I'm not shocked by college athletes smoking weed. I would too if I could afford it.

Go Badgers! I think, although Dut is kinda cute.

Anonymous said...

The Urban dick sucking fest is the worst....I love all the 'He's gonna do this, he's gonna do that, he'll teach him a thing or two....already predicting how the Urban area will improve on the Treseell area?! I understand speculation, but damn I feel like most of you are talking in past tense already...

What happens when he doesn't even win the Big 10 this year? NC or bust...

- J Saul

The Iceman said...

Oh...I'm sorry. I wrote that because I thought it was terrible comment day at the moneyshot.

GMoney said...

Great point, JSaul (how is the stamp hunt coming). Remember yesterday when I was being ridiculed for setting ridiculously high expectations for RG3? I guess that that only applies to black stud QBs and not near-dead asshole coaches.

Ohio State fans are all racists. RACIST I TELLS YA!!!

Anonymous said...

My boss had dinner with urban on Tuesday, and urban told him the team sucks.

I went out last night, and saw mike Adams getting wasted and dancing with white chicks. The dude just failed a drug test and now he's out partying during the biggest job interview of his life. What a f'n moron. I also made a bet with some retard that thinks Adams will be a 1st rounder. Pay me in bud!

Dut

Anonymous said...

It's in the mail....

Yeah I recall comments like 'lets wait for him to actually take a snap before we anoint him....'

Well lets wait for Urban to not die before we give him a crystal ball and already talk about him revenge fucking everyone in the big ten who crosses him....

- J Saul

GMoney said...

My boss had dinner with urban on Tuesday, and urban told him the team sucks.

Dut, this is why you need comment on the reg again. This made me LOL. I was not expecting that.

Anonymous said...

For those of you who care, and to piss off those of you who do not, on Las Vegas betting venue has OSU's over/under win total for 2012 at 8.5. Discuss.

-Lil' Strut

http://www.vegasinsider.com/college-football/story.cfm/story/1260228

Anonymous said...

I'd take the over on that...I think 10-2 or 9-3 is much more likely than 8-4. I think the defense will definitely be the best in teh conference. I don't see 4 losses on the schedule.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

I am straddling that line right now. I think OSU will be 9-3 or 8-4. At some point it is going to hit them that a bowl game or conference championship is not in the cards and they will have to fight against their own complacency, which may lead to an unexpected loss or two.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

I predict they go undefeated and that they are so good the NCAA decides to lift the bowl ban and let them play for a national title...

- J Saul

GMoney said...

After losing in week one, nothing else will matter.