|When is SMU's "Hillbilly Jim Appreciation Night"? And yes, that is Larry Brown's ABA era moose-knuckle.|
Larry Brown is going to SMU for 12 games before quitting – I suppose I get WHY they would do this since they are joining the Big East and want to make some sort of splash, but it is still confusing. Larry Brown is old as shit. He’s more decrepit than Grumpy and we all know how senile that guy is! Apparently, he convinced the HEAD COACH at Illinois State to be his ASSISTANT (and coach-in-waiting) while getting some of Worldwide Wes’s boys to also join his staff. Is this the beginning of a new power rising from Dallas? Probably not but it makes a program that no one gives a damn about at least somewhat interesting. Although I do wonder what will happen to Kahoots now that Larry Brown has left his post there to coach basketball again. Won’t someone please think of the strip club that really isn’t a strip club!
Are you watching the NHL Playoffs? You should be – If you enjoy cheap and dirty hits as much as I do, this has been incredible so far. I’ve actually memorized what the channel numbers are for NBC Sports Network and CNBC. By the way, TV ratings are WAY up this year which is good (GOTTA SEE IT LIVE!). There is something for everyone to enjoy. Whether it be horrible and nonsensical discipline from Brendan Shanahan or the giant gash of Sidney Crosby or the numerous former Jackets on Phoenix or the reignited Tim Thomas/Obama feud or my deep hatred of TJ Oshie or the fact that Ottawa and Florida both exist or, my favorite, PEKKA RINNE OWNING RED WING ASS! Rinne is the TROOF. When does he send the Wings home for the Summer? Is it tonight or tomorrow? This first round has it all. I am enjoying the shit out of it. Fuck Detroit. Fuck Drew. Fuck The Sauls, too. Why not, I’m on a roll.
Phil Fulmer wants another chance to fail – This guy is a terrible coach. He always has been. Now he wants to be handed the Arkansas job. They’re probably dumb enough to give it to him. Let this be a lesson that the South is the dumbest place on Earth. I see that that Dorrell broad finally resigned from the school. What was she waiting for exactly? Actually, she probably saw these Fulmer rumors and realized that she had no desire to lick his fat scrote. Good thinking, whore.
The Ultimate Dantonio does not fear The Hokester - "We're laying in the weeds," Dantonio told Brian Bennett. "We've beat Michigan the last four years. So where's the threat?" BOOM! FUCKING ROASTED! I like this. Dantonio ain’t afraid of shit. And I truly enjoy the slow subtle shift from a college football conference to the late 80’s WWF. Bret Bielema is the Brooklyn Brawler in this analogy. LIT-TLE BRO-THER!!!
Jim Irsay is a cocksucker – I am a real man that does not cheapen my reputation by joining Twitter so I only hear about how annoying the Colts owner is via a second party. He apparently is on there all the time posting random song lyrics and being a general douche. Now he says that he knows who the Colts will take but he won’t tell anyone. Oh that’s cute. The owner of an NFL team is also a 13 year old girl. Adorable!
The NFL schedule has been released; it does not matter – Yes, I watched a good chunk of the coverage on ESPN and NFL Network on Tuesday night. I am part of the problem. It’s fun to see when your team plays all of their big games though and when they will be on primetime. The Redskins play the AFC North and NFC South this year which would be tough even if they were a good team (which they are not although they will be entertaining as fuck). A couple of games stood out to me though: at Pittsburgh (prepare to see a repeat of last year’s preseason dominance, bitches!!!), Carolina (Cam AND RGIII!), at Cleveland (get a good look at what you could have had at QB, queerbates), and of course, at Dallas on Thanksgiving Day. I can’t wait for that. The best holiday of the year will be Griffin’s first national exposure against our most hated rival. Awesome sauce. Thoughts on your team’s schedule (as if it matters right now)? Any road trips planned? After texting my dad about the Thanksgiving Day game, he replied with a “Let’s Go”. I’m not sure if he’s just pumped or if he is considering going to Jerry’s World. That would be intense. I would definitely shit on the floor there.
If you think that I’m dumb enough to go up to Cleveland in Redskins gear in mid-December, you are nuts. First of all, I’m not going to sit on Lake Erie when it’s 4 degrees outside to watch those two teams play and every Browns fan is an asshole. So that’s the end of that discussion. By the way, the other night the Pistons led the Cavs after 3 quarters by 50 points (100-50). Unbelievable, I guess that Manny Harris just isn’t cutting it. And thus, your Thursday post is complete.