Monday, April 09, 2012

Didn't We Already Know That Bobby Petrino Was a Scumbag

I have a feeling that the comments are going to be all over the place today between The Masters, baseball, and Game of Thrones so I figured that I would just fire off a quick "high-horse" post.  We already talked about it a little bit on Friday but I want to keep at it now that we know more.

OK, so Bobby Petrino had an "inappropriate relationship" with a 25 year old who worked under him (or on top of him or doggy-style him perhaps).  He decided to take her to his casting tryout for Sons Of Anarchy.  He wrecked his bike because he sucks.  He called up his cop buddy and tried to keep his companion's name under wraps.  That worked about as well as tofu tacos.  Now, his attempt to control the damage of his awful driving skills is blowing up in his face.  Jessica Dorrell's life is pretty much ruined.  Now what?

Now, there are pompous media assholes like CBS's Gregg Doyel (the absolute WORST columnist on the planet) screaming that Petrino should be fired.  Yes, he lied to his AD.  Yes, he violated a morality clause.  Yes, his pizza face and neck brace picture is absolutely the best.  But to lose his job?  Come on.

Hey, Arkansas, you knew when you hired this guy by stealing him from MUDawg in the middle of the damn season that he has no soul or integrity.  Does this REALLY surprise you?  Would you rather be 21-5 over the last two years or go back to Houston Nutt or some other similar and average facsimile?  Did anyone else see the SportsCenter package where they got the opinions of Arkansans?  HILARIOUS!  Those people are the best and by best I mean the worst.  WOOOOOOO PIG SOOEY!  If you fired every successful old guy who fucked some young broad that worked for him then we would have no government.  Or we would, but it would be 100% Mormon.  Do you want that?

For this next portion, pull down your dungarees and ask your penis this question:  This...

Or this?
I thought so.  Come on, I don't like Bobby Petrino.  You don't either.  But under no logical reasoning should he lose his job for an "inappropriate relationship".  He coaches in the SEC.  There are no morals in the SEC.  Sure, he lied to his superior.  But it was a lie to avoid family shame and a likely messy divorce, not a lie that gives Arkansas any advantage at all on or off the field.  The only object that benefited from this is Petrino's dong.  Gross.  It's probably all red and scabby.  If Rick Pitino was allowed to keep his job (and his sexual conquest was really gross), then so should Petrino.

But it should come as no surprise that the media and other idiots are blowing this out of proportion.  These are the same people that whine about bounties like they are going to destroy the NFL.  Fuck these people like Gregg Doyel and the Hogtards calling for this buttfucker's job.  Also, Fuck Petrino, too.  He doesn't deserve to get fired.  He deserves to get AIDS.  Sometimes it's funny that people forget what year we live in.  THIS SHIT HAPPENS, DEAL WITH IT.  Fucking idiots.


GMoney said...

Sorry about the late is Blogger's fault.

I lost a ton of respect for Bubba Watson yesterday.
*stop buttoning your top shirt button, tool
*I am perfectly OK with tears of joy, but DO NOT cry like a little fucking as shit
*at least he remembered to thank his LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST!

What a dork. If I would have known that this guy had no idea how to properly dress and celebrate, I would have rooted for the star of Entourage.

The Yankees are the worst. Well, second worst behind Boston.

Grumpy said...

I think I would do either of Petrino's daughters.

Say what you will about Iceman, at least he gets his posts up in a timely fashion. Fuck you for throwing off my whole morning.

GMoney said...

Petrino's daughters appear to be future fullbacks so you can have them.

Like you were actually going to accomplish anything this morning anyway...

Anonymous said...

Couldnt disagree more about Bubba Watson. 75% of the guys on tour dress like complete queers and you rag on him for buttoning his top button? Youre so cool. You lose respect for a guy who cries after winning a golf tournament because his dad has passed and couldnt be there? Or the fact that he recently had to adopt because his wife couldnt get pregnant and on their 4th try they finally were granted rites to a child. And now that child is his and can say his dad won the Masters? Yeah that guy is terrible, how could anyone respect him? Youre obviously the tool.


Anonymous said...

"I think I would do either of Petrino's daughters."

I don't care how linebacker they appear. I would jump on any opportunity to nail a high profile coaches daughter. I would also take pictures and make a video. Knowing that I found a way to slime my way into their panties and being able to use that to my advantage with photographic/video evidence would be amazing.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Augusta requires that the top button be buttoned?

GMoney said...

Augusta does not require the top button to be buttoned. You would know this by seeing 8 feet of Stevie Williams chest hair every April.

I don't care, Seal, Bubba proved to be a tool. You didn't defend the LORD AND SAVIOR JC comment, I see. They kept telling us that Watson doesn't watch himself swinging on film and whatever. So Bubba Watson is a really lazy golfer? Gotcha! Although Bubba is apparently good friends with Tenor which is pretty sweet (and negates being "boyz" with cocks like Ben Crane and Rickie Fowler).

I was rooting for Louis. His albatross was the best.

Anonymous said...

I wasn't the biggest Bubba fan going into yesterday but I was definitely rooting for him to beat that gap-toothed weenie, Louis. I'm not sure what there is to like abuut Louis. You can't root for a foreigner on our turf (unless he was going head to head with Phildo). USA! USA!


Anonymous said...

Damn...Seal defends Bubba like Grumpy does retards.

I was rooting for Bubba as well. Amurrica!

So, Miggy and Prince look pretty sexy next to each other in that Tigers lineup huh? 162-0 here we come!

Not a good opening weeekend for closers in baseball.

Deshaun "Buckets" Thomas made my weekend with his announcement that he was coming back for his Junior year on Friday. The best part was the OSU press release....the odds that he said those quotes are 0%...I'm glad that they wrote that for him as he's dumb as rocks.


GMoney said...

Call me a terrorist, but I don't give a shit about American pride on a golf course. What kind of asshole mean mugs when a bumpkin from Georgia outlasts a South African with Letterman teeth? WHO CARES!

That being said, I hate Ian Poulter with the fire of a thousand suns.

Enjoy it now, Drew, because you won't see pitching staffs as terrible as Boston's much more!

Anonymous said...

Gold jacket, green jacket...who gives a shit?

MUDawgfan said...

I would do Petrino's daughters - I just pull out early and punch them in the stomach on my way out the door.
This would be similar to what he did to the Falcons.

There is nothing better than Easter meals on Masters Sunday.

I scarfed down tons of Honey Baked Ham and cheesy scalloped potatos while old Phil was hitting his drives 40 yards out of bounds.

Better shot: The Double Eagle or Watson's save from the Woods in the playoff?

GMoney said...

Hmmmmm tough call on the better shot as both were incredibly lucky.

Yes, that was some classic Mickelsuck out there yesterday. I love seeing that guy show up on Sunday. He was probably thinking about his gay buddy, Ari Gold.

Out of all of the sketchy coaching moves in NFL history, what Petrino did to Atlanta may have been slimiest.

Anonymous said...

Seal, I actually liked Bubba a lot until I read your post. Fuck adopting. Do it the old fashioned way, and knock up a whore. I'd still love a Jon Snow more than I would some random garbage kid from the Sudan. However, he never practices and has never had a golf lesson, so I can get behind that kind of hardcore dedication. Suck dicks Eldrick.

You should never root for a man named Louis, unless it is Louis Anderson (is he dead?). But that albatross was tits.

Matt Cain delivered a fucking gem of a game. I went from staring 7-3 at 5 pm to going 4-5-1 to a guy with cancer. Yesterday was the worst.

Game of Thrones was definitely heavy on the sex and incest yesterday. Can't go wrong there. But I'm wondering if they have too many storylines going on at once for them to make this work. Not sure why, but that goddess of light ginger is pretty hot for being 40 somethingish.

And kudos to Eastbound and Down for bring national attention to Black Bike Week. The worst seven days of the year. Will Ferrell was actually hilarious.


Anonymous said...

His wife was unable to get pregnant dumb ass.

Prime99 said...

Check out Daniel Tosh's twitter for Ozzie Guillen misquotes. Too funny! "Chris Brown was one hell of a good hitter!"

Mr. Ace said...

Suprise! Urbs is a fuck. Nothing new.

I didn't watch a single shot of the Masters. Tiger needs to get back to being balls deep in porn poon ASAP.

When is the Money Shot Memorial happening?

GMoney said...

Ace, I like your ban of all things golf since the Nap Muni course banned alcohol on their hallowed grounds this year. This was probably not intentional by you, but I am making it your motive.

"Random garbage kid from the Sudan" is the frontrunner for my DFL team name this coming year.

Ide, I was beating Damman's ass all week until my losers decided to just hit non-run-producing singles all weekend which led to a 4-4-2 tie. Not pleased.

I had no idea who that one guy was until his dad called him a fag and he tried to fingerblast his sister. Redhead = HAWT! I'd bet that it was the massize size of The Dink's head that killed his mother during childbirth. That thing is bigger than Stewie Griffin's melon.

Ashley Shaeffer was the best! Break his arm or I will give you lashes because I am your superior and you will do my bidding! I'M OLD SOUTH!!!

Prime, Tosh is not funny. I believe that I went over this last week.

Mr. Ace said...

WHAT!!!!!!! The Muni banned booze? I bet after they loose 50% of their membership that shit is reversed. That's crazy. I'd rather play St. Mikes.

Prime99 said...

Regardless of your feelings about the show, he started a hashtag called #ozziemisquotes and the results are fantastic.

I'm assuming you heard that Ozzie Guillen complimented Fidel Castro, so these are spoofs on that. Examples:

- MLK was just too loud for me.
- Rosa Parks never called shotgun.
- Bin Laden plays a mean game of hide and seek.
- How many people did Stalin kill? THAT'S GREAT HUSTLE!

Anonymous said...

Muni is not banning booze. In all likelihood they will begin selling booze on the course. You will just have to buy it there.

-Lil' Strut

GMoney said...

Trey Burke staying put. Way to take the advice of the Sparty AD!