|Nice purse and glasses, LeBron. Don't ever change. This picture has absolutely nothing to do with the post below but still...nice fucking purse, asshole.|
Iceman: Buckeye fans having to admit that Michigan was just as good in basketball this year is hilarious.
Dut: False… (Link to ESPN’s rankings)
Iceman: Big Ten champs and split head to head. FACT.
Damman: We dominated you at our place. You squeaked by us at yours. FACT. Hopefully we get to pound you again next weekend.
Iceman: The wins show up the same no matter what the margin. All I see is 13-5 in the Big Ten, guys.
Dut: Must be hard to see anything else with your Michigan shaded glasses.
Damman: I guess OSU has owned Michigan in everything the last 10 years so I suppose I can let you enjoy your small moment in the sun.
Mr. Ace: Michigan shaded glasses? Hilarious.
G$’s internal monologue: Do these guys ever grow tired of being awful? Except for Ace, of course, who rightfully mocked Dut for such a stupid taunt. THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY FUCKTARDED.
I think that we all need to remember that the regular season crown is pretty meaningless (nice to have and all, but still). Sure, it’s always great to hang a banner (one that doesn’t actually come down, Michigan fans) but no one will remember this paper title if they don’t make it to the second weekend later this month. And that, my friends, is a FACT. So let’s get ready for Conference Tournament Week, shall we?
*A note on Ohio and Michigan – I was impressed with the mental toughness shown by the Fuckeyes on Sunday. I think that all of us expected them to fold once they got down big early and the crowd was nuts. It has to be nice to see for you inbred mouthbreathers and hopefully not a harbinger of good play for the rest of the month (for us haters). For Michigan, you already know that your life is reliant on Tim Hardaway, Jr so I imagine that you are cool with his recent string of decent shooting.
*Paul Keels is ELITE - I listened to the second half while walking the dog and got to hear this dynamite line: "Andre Thornton is whistled for violating William Buford". UGH, I'm glad that I missed the gay rape part of this game.
*Fuck you, CBS – The tourney final for The Valley was an absolutely awesome basketball game from start to finish. There were lead changes every time down the floor. And, of course, once the game went to overtime, we in central Ohio had to watch the first four minutes of a Big Ten game instead of the conclusion of a game that meant a metric shit-ton to the bubble. Look, I get WHY it was switched considering the market that I live in. But it still makes no sense to me. Creighton and Illinois State were playing for a ticket; you don’t go away from that to watch a goddamn tip-off even if it is local. Fuck that shit.
*Also: Fuck you, Brady – You pissed and moaned after the last Ohio/Sparty game about the officials not calling shit. Did you like the alternative where a whistle was blown every other time down the floor? Of course you did because your team won and you are a grab-asstic piece of amphibian shit. God damn, you are awful. College refs are the worst. Games with fewer whistles will always be better than those with more whistles. And as Vitale and Bilas correctly pointed out during the Duke/UNC game Saturday night, NOT EVERYTHING IS A CHARGE.
*Let’s face it; the only tournaments you should watch are the mid-majors – And that is true. Sure, they are all fun to attend and occasionally there are outliers that point to their importance (like UConn last year, natch), but the conferences that don’t get 4 plus teams in every year are much more fun to watch this week. Take the aforementioned Valley final, that crowd was awesome because the game meant something. It is what makes March great. It isn’t Kemba Walker going undefeated in March last year that makes this month outstanding. It really isn’t because that team underachieved all season. It’s the Illinois State’s of the world coming within a few seconds or two of knocking some undeserving shitball Texas team from a spot that they shouldn’t get. By the way, is there anything worse than the ACC Tournament? Other than Duke and Carolina, all of the other teams suck or are boring. Why waste your time on the SEC and Big East tourneys? All pointless drivel. Big conference tournaments are a waste of time. FACT.
*I love me some Doug McDermott – The superstud for Creighton reminds me so much of Wally Szczerbiak that it is scary. Can score from anywhere on the floor, deadly from long range, about the same size and shade of pale…it’s uncanny. In case you were unaware, Creighton is my “little guy” that I will pick to win 2 games no matter who they play. That kid is just awesome to watch.
*Drew, you still like Jim Boeheim? - Yahoo reports that he knowingly played kids that failed drug tests. The NCAA...WHAT AN INSTITUTION!
*The TRUTH! – These are the things that I like coming into the home stretch of the season: Marquette’s inside out duo of Crowder and Johnson-Odom; Draymond Green; The Zeller Boys, Thomas Robinson being sick, Iowa State (Fred Hoiberg!), for the first time ever I can say Vanderbilt, Florida’s Bradley Beal, and solid fundamental teams like Wisconsin
*The LIES! - These are the things that you should be wary of come bracket time: Teams led by Freshman PGs (like Kentucky), Teams that shoot too many threes (like Duke and Michigan and Missouri), Teams that suck at the FT line (Cincinnati), Teams from the Pac-10, Murray State (they will lose in the first round…book it), Georgetown (can’t wait to get their upset loss right), Teams that suck dick away from their building (Indiana), and the non-Beal portion of the Gators
That should do it. I suppose if I want to make some predictions, here are my winners of the conference tournaments: Duke, Wisconsin, Kentucky, Baylor, Syracuse, and Washington. I’m also going to stick with my preseason Final Four of Kentucky, North Carolina, Marquette, and Ohio (State not the Bobcats) even though the Fuckeyes are a long shot.
And with the 2011-12 season assumingly over for my RedHawks (I’m just guessing that we lost to Toledo last night), PLEASE RETIRE CHARLIE COLES. You are a 70 year old terrible coach. Go away already. I can’t wait to get called a dumbass by Ohio fans today because of my correct point of The Valley’s title game being more important than their trophy sharing. Bring it on (All Or Nothing!).