Thursday, March 22, 2012

Roger Goodell To Name Himself Head Coach At Illinois

Boy, they sure do give out a lot of trophies for "Worst Coach Ever".
Just kidding regarding the title…although it wouldn’t shock me. After yesterday’s wild ride through the NFL offseason, we need to shift our focus back to March Madness for the rest of the week. There are games tonight, people! The Battle of Ohio and whatnot! But instead of talking about the teams still left today, I want to talk about those that aren’t and the people that lead those programs.

Yesterday, news broke that VCU coach and media darling, Shaka Smart, had turned down the head coaching job offer at Illinois. “Locally” (which pretty much means "within our comment section"), this comes on the heels of Mr. Ace’s rant against Brad Stevens for not “striking while the iron’s hot”. Now some of you are going to just come out and grill Shaka for not making the leap to the power conference. And you may have a point about this being a bitch move considering that he is from Illinois (I think but that might not be true actually).

Seriously, you have to be a real fucking toolshed to fuck up the Illinois job like Bruce Weber did. It is a basketball school first which is not often the case in the Big Ten. You have great access to the fertile recruiting hotbed of Chicago. The Chief Illiniwek little chant thing that they do every thirty seconds somehow avoids being annoying. It’s a great gig and should be a destination job!

Yet I agree with Shaka turning them down. There will be better openings. He has a great thing going on now. He owns the biggest and swingingest dick in all of the CAA. Hell, VCU pays him 1.2 million per year. Bruce Weber’s salary this year was 1.3 million. He’s young enough. He doesn’t need to leap at the paycheck at a tough rebuilding job (yet).

I get where he is likely coming from. That VCU program is his and he built it. He IS that school and Smart's not ready to turn his back on them yet. While VCU will never be confused with Kentucky or Duke, there is still a certain level of tremendous pride that comes with that. It’s sort of how I feel about this blog. It isn’t the best, or the worst, or the sexiest, or the rapiest, but it is home and it is something that I created and I am proud of it. And I like that. Basically, Shaka Smart, Brad Stevens, and I are brothers. That’s what I’m trying to say. So if you think about it that way, it makes sense why these young hot shot coaches don’t just jump schlong first at the first AD that calls them about their opening. There will be a time when ESPN calls me up and asks me to be their head writer for ESPN: Central Ohio (HA!), but right now I’m just fine where I’m at. I respect loyalty.  I DEFINE LOYALTY!

Did you know that Illinois is one of three Big Ten schools never to have a minority head coach in football or basketball? I like to think that when this fact comes up, they reference Bobby Williams and Brian Ellerbe.

Thoughts on Shaka (and others in his position) staying put and telling Illinois to fuck off? How about the games tonight? Who do you like? I like all of the favorites actually. I think the Buckeyes win by double digits.

47 comments:

Grumpy said...

Smart move by Shaka; he can(and will) do better.

I hope Ohio and UC both lose.

GMoney said...

Yeah, I'm rooting for there to be only one Ohio team left in the Elite 8 because fuck all of them. Who it is does not matter.

By the way, since Drew was all up in Iceman's grill yesterday about the whiteys leaving Michigan, I've read at a couple places that Sibert and Weatherspoon are transferring out after the year ends. Mass exodus from Columbus???

Jeff said...

Shaka knows the UK job will be open after Cal gets busted....

As long as LaQuinton Ross stays it's all good. Kid is dumber than shit, but man can he ball. Sibert is a scrub and all Weatherspoon can do is dunk.

Trey Burke is "strongly considering entering the draft." Says because the PG crop in this years draft is weak sauce.

Brady said...

Unless Illinois was prepared to at least double his salary, they deserve the public embarrassment of getting shunned in the national spotlight.

Illinois is definitely a basketball school but they haven't been the program they were in the early aught's. MSU, OSU, Wisky, Indiana and Michigan University are all better destinations right now. I don't blame Shaka for holding out. Plus, he is probably really close to launching his sleeper cell at VCU so a quick move would be detrimental to that goal.

Can't wait for OSU-Cincy tonight. It should be close to a football game for most of the night.

Anonymous said...

G$...It wouldn't surprise me if Spoon leaves, but I think Sibert is staying. That being said, the BIG news after the whitey news...was that Trey Burke may be bolting to the NBA! That would leave Michigan with ZERO PG's on their roster. His Dad's quotes read exactly like what an agent has been spitting into his ear. Do it Trey...you are a sure fire top tne pick!

I think Shaka should have taken the job, but I'm sure he has his reasons. Supposedly, Illinois was willing to double his pay. Maybe he's waiting for Howland to get fired at UCLA...not sure if either side would want each other...just thinking.

The only underdog I like tonight is Florida.

I'm cautiously optimistic about the Buckeyes.

--Drew

Jeff said...

Grump, Ohio and UC will both lose....

MuDawgfan said...

So who is the leader for the Illinois job now? Has to be the Coach from OU right? Groce?

He's made chicken salad out of chicken shit in Athens, OH - he'd probably do a fine job in Illinois.

The fiance and I used a gift card we were given at a Jeff Ruby's steakhouse in Cincinnati last night for dinner. G$ - You might consider doing a blog about the best steakhouses/cuts of meat. Sure to spark some good discussions as I'm sure everyone has their preferences.

Anonymous said...

Jeff....I've heard Groce's name. The name I've heard the most is that psychopath Frank Martin at KSU.

--Drew

GMoney said...

I can see why Burke would consider it but he is not even close to being ready. If you get PWNED by DJ Cooper, you should stick around. But his old man sounds like a real broke asshole so who knows. I don't think that he has an NBA game though, at least not a starter. Probably a career backup at best.

I'll believe in LaQuinton Ross (and Amir Williams) when they start getting more than just garbage burn.

Rumor has it that Chief Illiniwek offered 2.5 million to Shaka.

I actually think that Marquette will roll Florida and that Syracuse will beat Wisky handily. Bo Ryan teams seem to always get to the Sweet 16 but then peter out. And the Orange are being disrespected. Sparty/Pitino's aborted restaurant fetus has the chance to be the most boring game ever.

GMoney said...

Dawg, cuts of meat is not really my expertise. Occasional commenter Hoffman is a farmer so he might have a better handle on that topic than the rest of us.

By the way, Groce is different from Shaka. He SHOULD leave. If a power conference offers him this summer, he should jump all over it.

Is Frank Martin from Illinois or something? Is that really a better job than K-State? He is not a sane man.

Anonymous said...

It's definitely a better job than KSU. It gets you out of the Jayhawk shadow and you have Chicago. I have no clue if he has Illinois ties. He is most definitely not sane.

If you do a cut of meat blog. Notify me of the day and I will get a guest commentator. One of my best friends is a butcher who owns his own prime meats store/online store...does big things. Or, one day we can have questions...and I'll give him the questions and then we can publish the answers as a blog and then discuss. He is ELITE when it comes to meat.

--Drew

GMoney said...

That's not a bad idea actually. We could e-mail the meat experts. My question to "The Butcher" is simple:

Mr. Ace eats like a fag. I have no question.

Prime99 said...

"MSU, OSU, Wisky, Indiana and Michigan University are all better destinations right now."

Not better destinations, just better teams. If Illinois was a better team, Weber wouldn't have been fired. Crean took over Indiana and built it back up somewhat quickly- similar task for whoever takes the Illinois job.

As Drew sort of said, UCLA is terrible, but that is definitely a destination job.

I get Shaka's decision. If you love a job, stick with it.

The Iceman said...

Smart is never going to win a NC at VCU. He just won't. As a coach, don't you coach for the hardware just as much as the players play for it? Are you really okay with the thought of never winning it all as a coach? What the fuck are you coaching for then?

Keep in mind that Illinois has made it to a title game in our recent memory. Also keep in mind that Shaka Smart is a better coach and a better recruiter than Bruce the Juice. This was Smart's chance to have first pick at some of the best players and build a contender at a good basketball school. Now he's left to sit there and wait for scraps to fall off the big boy table and be forced to fight all the other runt schools for that player. Just seems dumb to me. That is unless one of his coaching goals is to never win a NC.

The Iceman said...

All Burke needs to do is have a talk with Darius Morris about how agents don't know shit. Leaving this year will be a YOOOOOUGE mistake. Kid's got talent but he is raw and the NBA isn't a place you go to refine your skill set.

Anonymous said...

I can't see Sibert leaving. Weatherspoon wouldn't completely shock me. Most of those off the benchers firmly believe they could be playing major minutes at any other school. Though, depending on how far we go, we could be replacing three starters next year, which would definitely change their minds.

The cuts of meat thread will be null and void. Roughly a month ago, I went out to Peter Luger's in Brooklyn. Every discussion on Food Network about steakhouses usually start and stop with that place, and they're 100% right. Having been to Morton's (RIP in Cbus), Smith & Wollensky's, and Jeff Ruby's, I can honestly say, you're eating dog food, boys.

Ide

The Iceman said...

Just real quick also:

Citing a league source, the Sacramento Bee reports that restricted free agent Mike Wallace is searching for a long-term contract in excess of the eight-year, $120 million deal signed by Larry Fitzgerald last August.

That would make him the 3rd highest paid WR in the NFL right now. Worth it, G$?

Ron Swanson said...

I heard there is meat discussion currently happening...

Anonymous said...

Who wants to go to JJ's for some after dinner omelets?

Ide

GMoney said...

Swanson!!! Do you still want to head down to JJ's for some after dinner omelettes?

Iceman, OF COURSE, that is what he is asking for. He's a 10 mill per year guy without a doubt but he's never going to get more than 6 years and maybe 60-70 million. It never hurts to ask.

There will be better job openings in the next year or two than Illinois. Count on it.

Ide, if Boals gets hired somewhere (very likely), that could be a destination for Spoon and Sibert. At least it would make sense.

GMoney said...

Damn you, Ide, beating me to the Swanson reply!

Anonymous said...

Mike Wallace needs to hold his fucking horses. He's not even worthy of smelling Fitzgerald or Megatron's farts.

I believe the meat discussion would be good if we rounded up some good questions and I e-mailed them to the butcher.

--Drew

The Iceman said...

"I'll have a porterhouse. Rare. Brought to me right away."

Don't ever change, Ron.

Grumpy said...

Boals, Spoon and Siebert all end up in Oxford.

If you have to go to Brooklyn for a steak, it's not worth it. Jeff Ruby is a flaming asshole, but he knows steak.

Nobody catch the play on words in my opening comment? Dumb asses.

Brady said...

"Not better destinations, just better teams"

Fair point Prime. Illinois can definitely get right back in to the Big Ten title hunt but kids have short memories these days. It's going to take a national name like Smart to get it done. I think he should've taken the job but what the fuck do I know?

I had Mortons for the first time last year in Cleveland (I don't know how I had never been there before) and I about jizzed all over my plate. The filet still gives me a hard on when I think about it.

There are rumors that Parks and Rec may be done after this season. Say it ain't so NBC. Leave it to their suits to fuck up a good thing on a dying network. Assholes!

GMoney said...

George Steinbrenner once said that you'll never find a better T-bone than the one that they sell at IHOP. This explains a ton about his life and death actually.

The Iceman said...

If "Community" can rally and get back on TV then so can Parks & Rec. Speaking of Thursday TV...the Office is starting to become barely watchable again. A far upgrade from completely unwatchable. Michael Scott needs to make a cameo & pump some life into that show.

Prime99 said...

LOL on Iceman citing the Sac Bee! For a newspaper that recently printed that the Kings should fire Keith Smart and hire Phil Jackson, it is amazing that anyone takes them seriously.

The Iceman said...

Sac Bee or not...you deny a cock scab like Mike Wallace thinks he deserves that kinda money?

I'm watching First Take right now. Stephen A. Smith and Shit Bayless are debating whether the Colts should take Luck or RG3. Of course Bayless is saying take RG3 first overall. What a fucking colostomy bag.

Prime99 said...

I bet the story is accurate and it is insane. Not laughing at you, just the joke of the local paper here.

Brady said...

Am I the only one out there that doesn't think "Community" is funny at all? I tried the first season and only made it through 3 episodes. Don't get me wrong, I want to be inside Allison Brie but other than that... Meh.

The office has been getting a little better. I would still watch every week like a drone but I've been pleasantly surprised over the past month.

Plane Crash > Skip Bayless

Anonymous said...

I think Community is very funny.

I would like to motorboat Allison Brie.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

I can see why someone like Chaka Smart would stay at VCU. He is probably so emotionally invested in that place after pouring everything he has into it over the years that it would take a dream job for him to leave. Realistically, if he is already making $1.2 million and living as comfortable of a lifestyle as he wants, while coaching at a place he will never be fired, its a pretty good gig. If he goes to Illinois or any other major program, he will be expected to win right away and could be jobless in a matter of years. If that happens, you don't "fall back" into a $1.2 million gig where you are adored like a god. He is going to be damn sure its worth betting the house before he leaves VCU.

-Lil' Strut

Anonymous said...

I, too, am cautiously optimistic about Ohio State. I think Ohio State matches up a lot better with UC than it does with FSU. If Ohio State plays as well as they did last Saturday, they will win tonight. However, what worries me is OSU's shooting going cold or Sullinger getting in foul trouble. If either happens, OSU could be in for a loss.

-Lil' Strut

Jeff said...

You can get a good look at a tbone steak by sticking your head up a bull's ass, but wouldn't you rather take the butcher's word for it?

Anonymous said...

Strut...you can say that about any game from here on going forward.

On the flip side, we saw Sully get in foul trouble against the Zags and the team actually responded tremendously. Could Cincy do that if Gates gets into foul trouble? Probably pretty doubtful.

I look for Deshaun to have another huge game as they don't have anyone to match up with him. Of course...I think Deshaun will be worse than even usual on defense as he's not quick enough to guard whoever we throw him on.

--Drew

Brady said...

You're right Drew. Thomas has turned into a scoring animal in the tourney (50 pts in 2 games I think) but he is a defensive liability. If he can learn to move those feet he could be a tremendous force on defense. His wing span has to be crazy long.

The hate and trolling is heating up on the message boards for this game tonight. These two schools/fan bases really hate eachother. I can't wait. I've held off on weeknight drinking for awhile in anticipation for this one.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, my boss is starting to hate OSU because of me. I took off last Thursday and Friday, and told him there is a solid 80% chance I'm taking tomorrow off. I personally blame this retarded amount of 10 pm games that OSU has received so far.

Ide

Anonymous said...

I think if you take Ohio State's 1-5 and match them up with UC's 1-5 I would take each of Ohio State's guys every day. I agree with you, Drew, that Deshaun Thomas will have a huge game. UC plays with 4 guards on the floor most of the game, the tallest of which is a whole 3 inches shorter than Deshaun Thomas. You can count on the fact that even if Sullinger is neutralized by Gates and Buford has an off night, Deshaun will still put up around 20 and 10 and Craft will shut down UC's primary ballhandler. Personally, I feel Sullinger and Gates will be a good battle, but Sullinger will still end up with about 16 and 8 and have the better overall game. Many of Sullinger's points will probably come when Gates tries to help out with Thomas after Thomas has scored his first 10.

-Lil' Strut

Brady said...

No shit Ide. The tip time says 9:46 but you know its going to get pushed back. Probably going to be at least midnight before this one is decided.

The Iceman said...

None of you are factoring in Cincy's ELITE ability to throw on the court haymakers.

GMoney said...

I like Community, but I absolutely hate Joel McHale. Troy "Butt Soup" Barnes is the best. Unspeakable things = what I would do to Alison Brie.

By the way, I was wrong. Apparently, Shaka was born in Wisconsin and went to Kenyon College here in Ohio! I have no idea where that is!

I think that you're going to see more of Evan Ravenel than usual this evening. This is his kind of game.

It's an interesting dichotomy between Ohio State and UC. There is definitely an inferiority complex there and they are probably TOTES JELLY. I doubt that you find too much of an overlap of people that root for both schools. But yeah, UC fans are all assholes. ALL OF THEM. Only 99% of Ohio State fans are mouthbreathing fucktards. In conclusion, I have no conclusion.

The Iceman said...

I also like Community. It's a different kind of humor people aren't used to. I love the paint ball episodes. Brilliant shit.

Anonymous said...

Community is a show that you love more and more the more you watch...because they have so many jokes that continue on through the series. It's more difficult to just jump into an episode.

Iceman...I factored their ELITE hay-makers in a Monday comment. Gates better stay away from Craft's baby face and rosey cheeks.

--Drew

Anonymous said...

Who do you think Urban Meyer is pulling for?!

GMoney said...

^^^LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

No wonder you posted anonymously because that is dumbest question ever!!!

The Iceman said...

Drew has every angle covered. ELITE observation skills.