|Geaux Saints, brah!|
So the Cats are playing Ottawa in a scrimmage prior to our Senior season (best team in school history, n-words, this is not up for debate). Scrimmages freaking suck but they are still better than two-a-days and it's always better to hit someone else. Look, I was not made of stone. I took advantage of opportunities. When I had the chance to take a kill shot on some poor DB or LB, I took it. And it was never not hilarious to watch them get de-cleated and knowing that I did that. If you never played the game, you will never understand how truly awesome that feeling is.
We have a play called that is designed to be run on the left side of the line (I OWNED the right side) which meant that I was to get to the second level and shit on some linebacker. The ball is snapped, I execute perfect GDB form (Gap-Down-Backer...you're learning stuff today!), and have the MLB in my sights. He doesn't see me coming. I am going to send him home in a body bag. Even at bone-rattling contact, THE MIKE does not see me. I hit him with everything that I have but something is not right. He doesn't move. I mean, he does not BUDGE. I, on the other hand, take two steps backwards and fall on my ass. That guy was made out of brick and mortar. I swear to God, it was the weirdest feeling I ever had. I was dreading film study the next day and it was even worse-looking on the projector screen. The coach even asked me, in front of the team, what the hell happened on that play. I had nothing. It was embarrassing as shit.
The point is, and everyone that played the game relatively successfully gets this, that I actively tried to hurt my opponents during games. I admit it. I played dirty. Cut blocks? Yep. Rabbit punches while blocking? You know it. Fingers in their eyes? Why not. And I would do it all over again. Because I don't give any fucks about some shitbird from some other school. If I can end his night with a trip to the hospital, that would be AWESOME.
Now, we did not have any bounty system or anything, but as I said, I didn't care if I hurt anyone (which makes Jonathon Vilma and myself bros for life). This is why I am not appalled or anything at the story of Gregg Williams paying off his players to knock fuckers out of games. Is it ethical? Probably not and it definitely doesn't match with the safety precautions that Goodell is instituting now so I get why they are pissed. I guess my problem is that defenders and constantly trying to destroy people so who cares if the asshole DC is paying them extra for doing their job?
Bob Ryan was on The Sports Reporters yesterday morning and compared this to SpyGate. Bob Ryan is a dipshit fuckface. SpyGate was BLATANT CHEATING and the Patriots haven't won shit since which proves that their entire dynasty is fraudulent. Apparently, the Saints are going to get fined a fortune and might lose draft picks because of this. Also, Sean Payton and Williams are expected to be suspended for a few games. This seems pretty harsh to me. Fines are pointless and coach suspensions seem equally stupid, but losing picks...no way, son!
Since when was it a bad thing to try and knock Brett Favre out of a game? Remember the pictures of Favre's ankle after that NFC Title game? If anything, the Saints should get MORE picks since they were trying to kill him on purpose. The Saints won a Super Bowl because they were relentless on quarterbacks. Seems smart to me.
And now the NFL is investigating my Redskins! What the hell! If Gregggggg had a bounty system in place during his 4 years in DC, clearly it did not work. Goodell better not even think about taking any of our draft picks away from something that didn't help us 5 goddamn years ago. Statute of limitations or something, honky! We're going to need all of our picks to build a Super Bowl winner behind RG3 anyway.
In conclusion, I am a real man and think that this has been blown way out of proportion. Just look at the tweets from all of the old timers (like Marcellus Wiley and Damien Woody). This sort of bounty shit happens all the time. As the great Bo Ryan likes to say, Deal With It.
And no, there is no videotape of me getting "trucked" by a guy that was not moving and didn't see me coming. It is a shame that has stained my family crest for years though. I'll be back tomorrow (Iceman is a bastard, remember) with your conference tournament primer.