Monday, March 26, 2012

And Then There Were Four

Oh.  Hi Joan!
How goddamn annoying are those commercials where Greg Anthony tells us that it isn't March Monotony?  Those ads are the worst.  Speaking of ads, Mad Men came back last night.  That's some excellent transitioning right there!  Anyway, we're down to the Final Four so let's take a few minutes to talk about how we got there.

Out West - Rick Pitino is heading back to the Final Four with his Louisville Cardinals and army of dead babies.  This team interests me somewhere between one and zero percent.  I do not care for their style of rugged, physical basketball even if they do play up tempo (my preference).  Sure, they are solid.  Siva and that guy that spurned UC are both pretty good but, you know, whatever.  I'm more intrigued by the delightful choking of Billy Donovan's team who absolutely pissed that game away.  Irving Walker has never met a terrible shot with 30 seconds left on the shot clock that he didn't love.  In my personal opinion, Louisville did not win on Saturday, Florida lost because they took horrible shot after horrible shot.  Anyway, does anybody think that Pitino is going to win a game in NOLA?  I do not.

Back East - Well, well, well...Ohio State is traveling down to The French Quarter.  Honestly, they are playing great ball right now and they deserve to still be playing.  I may want to watch Aaron Craft get raped by a gang of Mayans but you have to give credit when it is due.  It is due here.  And I'm happy for Thad.  He needed this.  No, it's not like his job is in jeopardy at all, but he needed to get back to the Final Four just to shut up any critics.  There really is nothing more to say about the Fuckeyes because I feel as dirty as hippie hair for the above paragraph.  The one good thing about this development is that King Douche Jim Boeheim fell short again.  The guy is a cocksucker.  Period.  I wish nothing but continued failure from him.  Good game but the better team won.

Hey, what about Friday? - X, NC State, and IU all lost.  That UK/IU game was just amazingly entertaining.  You were kidding yourself if you thought that the Hoosiers could possibly win, but it was the most fun game of the year nonetheless.  And how about those Bobcats!  You know what, fuck them.  Those losers.  I was rooting against them.  Grumpy was, too.  You never, ever, EVER root for your rival to have success.  I will say that after watching Miami get their fucking hearts broken (AGAIN!) in the hockey tourney, I was scared shitless that I would have to watch Walter fucking Offutt beat Soulja Roy, too.  I was not prepared to deal with that much heartbreak.  I'm glad that it did not come to that.  Fun game though.  Be honest, you thought that DJ Cooper's last second heave was in, didn't you?

Down Souf - Let's be honest, no one can touch Kentucky.  The only team that can beat Kentucky is Kentucky.  Well, themselves and a terrifying few minutes where Anthony Davis's knee stremph was unknown.  Is it just me or is Terence Jones just awful?  He has all world talent but a Drew Gooden head.  You know, that might be who he becomes eventually...Drew Gooden.  He just pumps out good stats on horrible teams.

It's a Midwest Swaaaaaang, yaaaaaawwwww - Kansas and North Carolina put on a classic even though I was more engrossed with hour #3 of the goddamn fantasy baseball draft.  Sumbitch, that took forever.  Anyway, if you thought that UNC was going to keep winning with no PG, you were foolish.  Beating OU was their ceiling.  Can you imagine how hilarious it would have been to watch that little white shithead try to start the offense with Craft in his shorts?  TOTES LOL!  But the sickness of Thomas Robinson prevails and now we get us some rematches.

Prediction time!  It really doesn't matter who wins on Saturday just as long as Louisville does not.  No one wants to watch them play anymore.  I will truly enjoy Kentucky vs. whoever wins the other win.  THAT is what we want to see.  I like Ohio State and Kentucky to play for it all on Monday night actually.  The Buckeyes are just playing too well right now and owe the Jayhawks some payback.  And UK isn't going to lose.  Period

Dut was talking about heading down to NOLA for the Final Four last night.  Has anything new developed?  Anyone else considering it?  Flights are well over a grand right now!  Seal going?  Either way, the Final Four should be incredible next weekend.

43 comments:

Grumpy said...

Yes, I was sure Cooper's heave was going in.

I'm following Dut on Twitter and vice versa. Does that mean I'm gay?

Be a man like Damman and drive to the Final Four.

GMoney said...

Dut was bragging about your new Twitter relationship yesterday. It was so sad.

Anonymous said...

Not going to New Orleans - but if UK wins Saturday, im heading down to Lexington for the game Monday to crash with some old college buddies.

Pitino is a hell of a coach for getting that team as far as he has. The guy has been to a final four in 4 different decades - thats ELITE!

Im expecting this OSU/Kansas game to be awesome.

I want Kidd-Gilchrist on the Cavs really bad.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Wuz' good?

Rock Chalk Cocksuckers....very excited. Bucks played a very good game on Saturday, even though the refs tried to make it into a terrible game (for both sides). I like the re-match with Kansas...should be a very very good game, but I'm confident the Bucks will win a close one.

That win on Saturday was indeed huge for Thad. So happy for him. He is a great coach.

Fuck Boeheim....G$ was right about him!

I was disappointed when Anthony Davis didn't tear his ACL yesterday.

I did not think D.J. Cooper's heave was going in.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Whew, I'm glad that you understood what I was getting at in regard to Thad. It's not like his seat is even remotely warm, but he can't keep getting knocked out earlier than he should. I honestly think that I would support Ohio State's team this year if it wasn't for you ham-fisted mongoloid fans. So, you know, Go Jayhawks.

I was always right about Boeheim. Never doubt me. I am right about everything.

The Cavs are going to need a whole shitload of luck to get MKG but I would love that kid forever. I want no part of Harrison Barnes anymore. I'll take Beal and Lamb over him any day.

Anonymous said...

Barnes is a weird player. He's gone all Buford lately...that's not good. That air-ball he shot against Ohio was pathetic. I don't know what to make of him...I do know that I would not feel comfortable if my NBA team used a lottery pick on him.

--Drew

The Iceman said...

Did you hear who Illinoise is after now? John Groce. I giggled like a bitch when I heard that this morning.

Thad Matta sweats more than his players do while coaching. That guy probably needs a towel next to him when he eats dinner to dry off halfway through. It's probably his Mr. Potato Head nose kicking off the massive heat.

Yesterday I heard a Buckeye fan call into the local dickweed radio show and proclaim Jared Sullinger as the second best player in college basketball. Long story short, I don't have a radio anymore and in related news I also have 3 broken fingers on my masturbating hand.

The Iceman said...

Fully agree on Barnes. Not ELITE at all. He reminds me of Danny Granger. Boring, lame and needs 30 shots to matter on a team that fucking blows.

Mr. Ace said...

Can we talk about how I completely dominated the fantasy baseball draft?

Half of Kentucky is going to burn on Saturday. We are all winners in that regard.

I'm with G$. I generally like Sully, Craft, and of course Buford, but you Fuckeyes really make your teams easy to root against. And I could never root for Thad.

If Kentucky loses this year then Cal will never be able to buy a championship.

GMoney said...

Sullinger, while having a pretty terrific March, would barely be the third best player on Kentucky.

I wouldn't say "lottery", but if my team is picking in the top 8, I would be terrified of Barnes.

Why is Groce to Illinois so funny? The guy is a solid coach and unfortunately the Bobcats are going to spend a good chunk of next season ranked in the top 25 (seriously).

GMoney said...

If Kentucky loses this year, Calipari should be fired.

Anonymous said...

I actually agree with Ace and G$ - Calipari has one of the best teams in college hoops in a very long time. He is a choke-artist if he doesnt win this thing and the UK fan base wont forget about it.

Seal

Anonymous said...

And I think Groce to Illinois is a great move for them - that guy is a very good coach. Can you imagine what he might be able to do with Big 10 caliber talent? Iceman, please dont talk about college basketball anymore.

Seal

Anonymous said...

I'm not gonna waste my time talking about Buford anymore. He's had one good game in the last month and the Bucks obviously don't need him to play well to win. So anything they get out of him is a bonus.

Saturday was the most fun I've had watching a Buckeye sporting event in a long time.

I am developing a crush on Lenzelle Smith Jr. Him and Craft together in the backcourt for the next two years should be fun to watch.

-Damman

The Iceman said...

Groce has finished 9th, 9th, 5th and 3rd in the MAC. Just because he makes a Cinderella run one year in the NCAA tournament that makes him a great coach now? I mean...I know the MAC is pretty tough every year, guys. Get the fuck outta here. Go back to what you're good at Seal...sucking Calipari's warty cock.

Anonymous said...

The MAC is good every year. The school that gets a bid is always a threat to win a game or two in the tourny.

Seal

GMoney said...

Actually, Iceman, you proved your point wrong. Sure, his regular season record is average at best. If OU was in the West and not the much more grueling East, they would have been a top 3 seed every season. Why am I defending Ohio U??? But what it proves is that come Feb and March every year, he has his team playing their best which is all that matters, right?

FACT - Groce is one of the hottest coaches in the game right now. Hiring him would be a good get.

Lenzelle Smith's 8 foot floater that hit the ceiling was a thing of beauty.

Brady said...

If that half court heave would've went in, Athens would still be smoldering right now. That was a pathetic attempt at the last shot for UNC. Unfortunately, I think everyone knew it was a lost cause once the game went to overtime. Ohio just didn't have the horses for another 5 minutes in that game.

I totally agree Drew. What the fuck were the refs doing on Saturday night? I think OSU was the better team but that game was fucking choppy because of those refs. One time down the floor you could get away with rape and the next a phantom hand check was called in 2 milliseconds.

Grumpy and Dut on Twitter? Hit me up guys! I'm a Twitter whore during the games. @bucknut1981

The Iceman said...

Another FACT. Groce wasn't Illinoise first choice. Seems like a desperation move for a team scrambling to find a head coach. I know everyone has to come from somewhere, but he just seems like an average coach to me.

Bert Sugar died. Anyone care? Yeah...didn't think so.

Be cautious about adding Brady as a Twitter follower. He likes to post nudes of Derec Alexander.

Anonymous said...

Lenzelle's ceiling floater was a thing of beauty.

I think Groce would be a pretty big leap of faith by Illinois. Put me somewhere in the middle of G$ and Iceman (where I like to be) in that debate.

--Drew

Brady said...

I do like nude pics.

You know who cares about Bert Sugar Ice? Norm fucking Wamer. When ESPN radio gives way to the local Toledo bullshit today, it's going be a 3hr nasally sob fest over that dude.

GMoney said...

Apparently, Illinois offered Brad Stevens 21 million over 8 years. WOW! I don't know who else they offered the job to, but there is no shame in being considered behind Shaka and Stevens.

It is a leap of faith for sure but Groce has done it twice in four years in the tourney. It's hard to say that he's a fluke.

By the way, it sure does seem like Jeff Boals will be gone within the next month (especially if the OU job opens up).

Are we getting a Championship Game live-blog from Iceman next Tuesday???

Prime99 said...

Barnes has that "Golden State Warrior" feel to him.

I enjoyed the "raped by Mayans" joke.

Prime99 said...

Bert Sugar? Too bad it wasn't Beano Cook.

Shook's Son said...

I am finally back in Arizona after spending the last two weeks on South Beach. I've had so many Cuban sandwiches that I can barely walk!

Anonymous said...

Funny, I just read that as, "I had so many gay Cuban threesomes that I can no barely walk."

Ide

The Iceman said...

Thank God I'll be at work when Norm Wamer and The Front Row crew has their 5 hour tribute show for Bert Sugar, Brady. Looks like the "checking the market" segment just got a little longer and a lot more shitty.

I'm sure I could muster a live blog for the Championship game. Hopefully it's more entertaining than the football NCG was. I couldn't get erect for a week after subjecting myself to that shit.

Anonymous said...

Ohio State is playing better than any team in the country, other than Kentucky. I like them against Kansas, but UK appears to be a buzz saw right now.

Seal,
I am headed to Lexington for a bachelor party this weekend. We will be touring bourbon an whiskey distilleries on Saturday, but do you have reccomendations for restaurants and night life on Friday and Saturday night? Keep in mind that I will need to be watching the game somewhere on Saturday.

Lil strut

The Iceman said...

Did you guys see Frank Martin admit on national television he paid players? LOLZ!!!!

Anything else you wanna fess up to, buddy? Right or wrong...as a coach I think that's some shit you keep private. Complete fucking moron.

Mr. Ace said...

...I have no problem with what Frank Martin said. He didn't pay any players that he coached in college. He didn't pay any player to get them to go to any certain college. He gave some struggling kids he had a prior relationship with some scratch for whatever they needed. Anything that says the NCAA is fucking joke is fine by me.

Kentucky is about to buy a championship and the K State kid had to sit out over getting $200 from a "father figure" in his life.

Shit is whack.

The Iceman said...

Like I said...what he did, right or wrong, wouldn't you want to keep shit like that private? It's just asking for an investigation.

Anonymous said...

LS -

It depends - are you staying downtown or close to campus? Two Keys on campus is probably the most famous bar in Lexington - very fun and always loaded with hot southern girls. Around Two Keys are other bars in walking distance that are always a good time.

The bourbon trail you are going on is fun as well - The East trail is great, I believe both Wild Turkey and Woodford Reserve on on that tour.

Downtown bars are good, but I would highly suggest being at a bar close to/or on campus for the game. Should be crazy.

Seal

Anonymous said...

oh and when you get wasted - get cheese sticks (its a chessey bread pizza) from Mad Mushroom (local pizza place on campus). Its incredible.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Lil' Strut...I would think it would be almost impossible to be able to be somewhere and NOT see the Final Four on TV's in Lexington this Saturday.

Iceman...I agree. Not a big deal, but that's not something that I'm gonna go on record saying if I'm a coach.

--Drew

GMoney said...

By the way, Damman and I got assigned together making our season debuts on the high school diamonds this Saturday. Our DH begins at noon. The Buckeyes tip off at 5. It's going to be tight to get it over with before the Final Four starts even if shit goes perfectly. Who wants me to troll so hard by calling zero strikes and thus making him miss the first half of the basketball game??? I'm going to set an OHSAA record for walks in a game.

Anonymous said...

Bucks don't play till the late game now. I was mistaken last night. So you're plan is futile.

But Diane Damman may be making a Stube appearance on Saturday. So there's that.

-Damman

GMoney said...

And with that, Frank Martin is taking that dead end South Carolina job!!!

GMoney said...

Damn! Well, might as well call everything a strike now. Weather is supposed to be good all week so game on.

That's surprising to me that the #1 overall seed is playing early.

Anonymous said...

It's all about TV G$. Second game is prime-time...they obviously think OSU/Kansas will turn on more TV's than UK/LOU. It has nothing to do with seeding.

--Drew

GMoney said...

I understand how TV works, you dolt. I just assumed that the inter-Kentucky battle between a cheater and a sexhound would be the ultimate primetime ratings grab. Matta vs. Self doesn't really move the meter.

Brady said...

You guys ump for high school? That is pretty sweet. I'll be anxiously awaiting the first post about some dipshit father who is living vicariously through his son.

Prime's twitter description of "I am a robot" made me LOL for awhile today. Nice work man.

Prime99 said...

Ah yes- Brady, Grumpy and Dut all got twitter follows today. Now, Iceman is not the only person who will get sexually harrassed on that medium.

Anonymous said...

I had a twitter account made to sign up for some sporting website. I have yet to actually log on to it. However, K Dawg is already following me. Perhaps I can be the second coming of Dadboner.

Ide