Monday, February 27, 2012

RibFest Was Delicious and Fun and Other Stuff

You like my groomed stubble?
Saturday night's Money Shot meet-n-greet went swimmingly as was expected.  The ribs, wings, craft beers, and sauerkraut balls were all outstanding.  Iceman and Drew got through dinner without someone having to tap out.  Grumpy was gracious even if he did tell our waitress that we were a champion all-gay soccer team (she actually asked if that was true...bitch) and made us eat with a framed picture of Hines Ward.  The hockey game was fine.  It was even better when Mr. Ace spilled his beer all over Dut's cock.  Postgame brews were had at The Varsity Club.  A really drunk Mr. Ace just disappeared at some point leaving Damman to pay his tab (what an asshole!).  Drew and Dut decided to continue their date after the rest of us left.  And that was about it.  We'll have to do this again some time.  No doubt.  My mudbutt on Sunday morning was ELITE.  Ummm, let's just cover a few topics today.

*Whatever Ryan Braun did, I don't care - I just don't give a shit about what athletes put into their bodies.  MLB wants to publicly crucify everyone that has bad piss, so the fact that they fucked this up is hilarious.  I am currently enjoying their desire to sue the appeals process that they approved.  LOL WUT?  Basically, I like watching Braun play and since the only people crying about this are fans of the other teams in the NL Central, fuck them.

*Josh Hamilton may or may not be an asshole - I'm still trying to figure out whose side I'm on here.  The Rangers bent over backwards to make Captain Crack Rocks comfortable and safe yet this is still a business.  He doesn't technically owe them anything.  I have a feeling that they are going to low-ball him on an extension this year (for like 8 mill a year or something) and hide behind his lapses as the reason.  I get that but Hamilton the player is worth twice that.  Hmmmmm, I don't know, I would probably side with the team on this.  Without them, this guy is probably dead by now.  So yeah, Josh, you do owe them.

*Buzz Williams is mature - I really like Marquette's team this season and them beating WV in Morgantown with a bunch of guys limited due to suspension was impressive.  But Williams is the fucking coach.  You don't dance on the other team's floor and damn near incite a riot after the game.  That was a troll move.

*RG3 is still awesome - 4.38 40...height and weight were exactly what they needed to be...guess who is listed as the favorite to trade up for him?  Hail to the Redskins!  Hail victory!  Braves on the warpath! Fight for ol' DC!

*The Dunk Contest is weird now - Yes, we all know that the participants in this competition get fucking worse every year.  Yes, we have all already forgotten who the Hell Jeremy Evans is.  I just don't get how it can be so hard to get people to do this.  I mean, legit studs line up for a chance to win the 3 point contest, why can't John Wall or Luke Harangody do some athletic slamming?  It might actually make people remember that Wall isn't a disappointment.  And why are we voting only by fans?  Dut tweeted in a vote for Jon Diebler.  It was an ELITE tweet.

*Grady Sizemore LOL - Hurt his back picking up a ground ball...classic.

*College football makes sense? - I understand moving kickoffs from the 30 to the 35 to help with player safety and whatnot, but touchbacks start at the 25 now?  The fuck?  I don't think that I like this.

*The Daytona 500 happened (OR NOT!!!).  The NBA All-Star Game also happened.  Did Rick Nash get traded?  Zombies?  Is Mr. Ace alive?  Do we even want him to be?

Alright, that will do for today.  Just like usual, no Dead until the afternoon, please.  Actually, Drew seems to be quite interested in a trip down to Oxford next year to check out our incredible hockey arena and to let Grump and myself show him our old stomping grounds.  So there is something to look forward to, I guess.  Oh!  One more thing before I go...

Baby, I've got your money.  Don't you worry.


Grumpy said...

I'm certain half of you are gay, I just don't know which half.

Miami hockey was ELITE!!!

Anonymous said...

Grump's a good man for living up to the horrible decision he made...which is betting against Timmy Tens. Even though he did say I look even more goofy in person. Ass.

No Glenn Danzig references were made at Ribfest. Highly disappointed in that.

I hate that zombie talk has to wait. Soooooo many things I'm pissed about with last night's episode.

Anonymous said...

Oh...and that's what Drew and Damman get for shit talking Zack Novak and his ELITE game.

Sullinger blows. FACT.

GMoney said...

I will forever be pissed at every president in the history of America. Because if they didn't get their "day" last Monday, my prized t-shirt that just said "ELITE" on it would have been delivered by RibFest. Instead, it will show up today or tomorrow and be sort of pointless. My wife and dog already acknowledge my ELITE skill set. Fucking Abe Lincoln.

OVERRATED = Aaron Craft...make your free throws, ya tampon

Dut, did you end up betting on any drivers today? If you did, you gay.

Mr. Ace said...

I just woke up from Saturday night like an hour ago. I am pretty sure Damman attempted to drug me with his "cherry bomb" because i felt pretty sober after leaving the hockey game...Then again I did have 5 beers at Barleys, 3 at the hockey game and then blank at Varsity Club. Mrs. Ace called to tell me she was almost there and I got the fuck out out. I guess I owe Damman a couple beers.

At least the All-Star game managed to be entertaining.

Dut is not an elite keno player...that's the real reason i left.

MuDawgfan said...

Any truth to the rumor that while there were 9k seats sold to the Hockey Game on Saturday, the crowd was largely "pro-Miami"

Hope Heeter enjoyed getting chased in his final home game. Faggot.

Anonymous said...
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GMoney said...

WOW! Dut and Drew had a sleepover! NOT ELITE.

It takes a real man to order drugs with his pizza though.

Actually, if Dut & Drew was a reality show like the Kardashians or something, I would watch that.

Dawg, I'd say we had at least 30% of the arena to ourselves but once we got up 3-1, not one Buckeye fan made a peep and it was pretty much a home game. It was tremendous. Funny story, we stole seats in the club level and got booted by the real ticketholders. We just moved one row back and the guy sitting in front of Grump and I was bitching about our attempted theft. Then we scored, the two of us stood up to clap, he realized that we were also MU Dawgs, and then we were all best buds the rest of the night.

Ape does not pull a Houdini. He's more of a David Blaine.

Anonymous said...

Thanks again to Grumpy. My first ribs experience was ELITE. Although my shit was black through last night. Not sure if that was due to the ribs or the dark beer. Whichever it was, bathroom trips were not fun yesterday.

Ape definitely pulled a Situation and "did the dip" from the VC.


Anonymous said...

The weed order was fairly impressive, I must say. He ordered it just like he was ordering a pizza...and the waitress with the tattoos said she'd go check to see what she could get in the back.

G$....Your just jelly that you weren't a part of the sleep over.


GMoney said...

Damman, congrats, you now know what "mudbutt" is. It kills more Americans every year than anal warts.

I am super jelly, Drew. You got to sleep at DFL Draft HQ.

But still...DEAL WITH IT.

Anonymous said...

Did Ribfest make Drew a single man?

Did anyone have the "pleasure" of watching the dunk contest at all Sat night? Fucking pathetic.

Anonymous said...

That white guy in the dunk contest was almost as hilarious as a Chardon High lunch period.

Too soon?


GMoney said...

Paul George's blacklight dunk was alright. I didn't mind that one since it was creative. Budinger harnessing his inner-Ced Ceballos was LOLZ.

I have no idea what Chardon High means, but I'll have to read up on it.

GMoney said...

Dammit, Ide, that would have been perfect if you didn't consider 7:30 AM to be lunchtime!

Clearly, the Gunman watched a lot of the Combine this weekend and then realized that his stupid Browns were going to pass on RG3's ELITEness. He had enough. He snapped.

Anonymous said...

Eh, I saw it was in the cafeteria and ran with it. Cleveland residents get what they deserve.


Prime99 said...

I'm glad you all were able to break bread (balls?) at the same table. I wish I could have been there.

No complaints about Braun from me. I am not sure how his speech was in the best interest of the game, as he kept mentioning.

Grumpy said...

Drew and Dut-I knew it, just a vibe there.

Pit stop in Grove City for Revenge of the Ribs.

Meeting Iceman was ELITE. Watching Iceman drive away was more ELITE.

Anonymous said...

I bet the shooter was a Glenn Danzig fan.

I'm blaming that shooting on Brady for standing up the MoneyShot crew Saturday. See what you did Brady?!

Anonymous said...

Iceman....not single.

Grumpy...good point on seeing Iceman drive away.

Ide...that was a good joke.


Anonymous said...

Don't be jelly of the mini-van, Grumpy. It's got heated seats and heated steering wheel which is SUPER ELITE.

Watching you guys almost ditch Ace was pretty hilarious to watch.

Brady said...

Sounds like I missed a good time. Late birthday celebrations are not ELITE. It made me feel better that everytime I had the chance to mention ribs during dinner to my wife, whether it made sense or not, I did. She was thoroughly annoyed with me by the end of the night.

RGIII just blowing it up at the combine. That should guarantee the Browns have to ship off the majority of their draft to get him. Fuck it, just do it.

Prime99 said...

I bet the little kids you cart around enjoy eating their candy/bait while sitting in the heated seats. If you tell me there are less than 6 windows on your mini-van, my joke goes from sarcastic to concerned.

GMoney said...

I'm not going to dive into the details, but the game of "Gay CLUE" that we played at VC was pretty fun.

Anonymous said...

If the van belonged to me then there would be a reason to be concerned. I would never purchase a mini-van...even if I had 5 kids.

Anonymous said...

Going on no details but knowing the people in attendance, is Gay CLUE the game where someone blindfolds Dut and he has to guess whose cock is planted in his ass/mouth?


GMoney said...

Yeah, Ide, it was Damman with the lead pipe in the bar bathroom.

*I liked how they only had about 10% of the terrible cast this week.

*Rick kicking Shane's ass was disheartening to watch. Shane trying to kill Rick by launching a huge wrench at him from a mile away was hilarious though. That scene was pretty great. It was nice to see some actual zombie killing this week.

*I wanted Shane to have Rick stop the booger green SUV and then run into that field to scalp that zombie.

*Why do they hate that one kid so much? That makes no sense. Rick and Shane truly seem to believe that he is a huge problem fo some reason.

*Between unnamed guy and Carl, Hershel is pretty much the post-apocalyptic Dr. James Andrews.

*MVP of the night was Andrea who finally told Lori that she was Hitler's cunt. While I appreciated Lori admitting that the women should revert back to life in the 50's, she remains wrong about everything. Andrea telling her that she is a selfish bitch AND talking that stupid girl into killing herself was ELITE.

*No T-Dawg. He must have been off doing...something?

Grumpy said...

Who occupied my front passenger seat from Barley's to the hockey game? There's a strange substance on the leather and it's not coming out.

Anonymous said...

No Dale was certainly my highlight. But Andrea takes the cake for being awesome this week. She is aces in my book.

I really hope they kill that stranger next week.

That wrench toss was awesome, I was really praying for a solid connection on that one. I still, don't believe for a second Rick could ever kick Shane's ass. Ever. It would have been great to see Rick leave Shane, who for some reason didn't realize there was a back door to the bus.

This show needs more Merle.


Anonymous said...

Drew should have added that I was joking with the waitress and my drugs order!


Anonymous said...

Okay...the reason they want that kid dead is because he was a part of a group that was trying to kill them and overtake their camp...and cornhole their women. Who knows if there are any people left in the Jersey group, and you know that shit head isn't going to be truthful with them. If they let him go and he knows where the farm is then it's only a matter of time before the hillbillys find them. I would kill him too.

First problem with last night. Who gives a holy fuck where you leave that kid? 18 miles out? Ditch his ass. If you really care about his survival then give him a bag of food and a weapon. Then wish him a fond farewell. What does it matter if you leave him in a parking lot or on a dirt road?

Problem 2. Really dumbasses? You're really gonna fuckin cut yourselves and kill zombies with open wounds on your fucking hands?! That's like raw dogging someone you KNOW is infected with AIDS. In reality, both Shane and Rick should be infected but we all know they aren't. So fucking stupid.

Problem 3. Let that bitch kill herself if she wants. Any intelligent person in the middle of an apocalypse knows that less people means more food for everyone else. They only downside is the dating pool just decreased by about 15%.

Prime99 said...

I liked how this episode finally brought about some decent zombie issues and rose the tension level, regardless of who is kicking whose ass. Rick's kill of the third zombie on top of him was great. Seems like that would work if James Harrison needless jumped on a pile after the play was dead.

Lori is the worst.

It's time to hit the road to Nebraska, or wherever. A change of scenery is necessary.

Prime99 said...

Totally agree with Iceman's problem 2. If Shane doesn't have zombie AIDS after last night's episode, I call bullshit.

GMoney said...

I'll tell you what, I could watch dudes (even Rick) stab zombies on the top of their head all day long.

You know what else was hilariously stupid? That they made The Unnamed jam to his iPod while they drove him to question-mark. It's like Rick and Shane didn't want the gimp to know their great strategies about fucking the same woman.

Great call on more Merle or I'll even settle for Zombie Merle. The Merle Quotient needs to rise.

I just wish that Rick would realize that his "team" is 90% dead weight and that maybe, MAYBE a young guy all alone who apparently heals legs that were going to need amputation at an alarming rate could be useful to them. Tensions are high in their world. Bullets get shot. DEAL WITH IT!

Anonymous said...

Yeah...that guys mutilated leg sure did heal up in a hurry. Whasup wit dat?

GMoney said...

Looks like Nash is staying in Columbus. I'm shocked that Howson didn't lower the asking price to a new washing machine or something.

Revisit the situation in the offseason.

Prime99 said...

I bet Otis wrote and recorded that unnamed jam before he died.

Anonymous said...

Lebron says he will do the slam dunk contest for a million bucks. What an unbelievable asshole.


Anonymous said...

Lebron continues to be totally awesome in my mind.