Research Project: The Origin of Nations

Is everyone here? Looks like it. OK, please be seated because we need to have a little talk. Actually, we need to have THE talk. Stop being ingrates. Fellas, it is February. By rule, this is the worst month ever when it comes to sports/other stuff blogging. You need to know this and understand it. We still have a job to do and during this month, it is tough. So it is important that you give us a little leeway. What normally is a challenging gig only becomes harder when nothing is going on and yet you still bitch about the content. And that is why I must ask that you back off a bit with your whining and accept that there is simply nothing that we can do about it unless The Iceman and I actively go out and start making news happen. I’m much too lazy to be doing that. Basically what I’m trying to say here is “suck it the fuck up”. We are simply working with what we are being given.

Anyway, for today’s post, I actually hit up the old Wikipedia machine and did some research. A little back story first: I have been told that many of ours Alma mater (having a very nice basketball season by the way) has begun to reference itself as “Wildcat Nation”. No. No, no, no, I can not stand for that. This is ridiculous on many levels the first of which being that they imply that people spread throughout America care/have heard of the “banks of Maumee’s waters”. Most importantly though, it is unoriginal and uncreative. I feel like the “Nation” label is one of the dumbest things that a fan base can refer to themselves as. STOP IT. Between Wildcat Nation and those AWFUL “We’re In This Together” YouTube videos that the schools are putting out (I am not linking these or embedding them…they are so bad), it is no wonder why people are killing their girlfriends. ZING?

So the point of today’s heavily researched post is to get to the bottom of the “Nation” phenomenon. Who started it? Who is the best? Who is the worst? I was actually surprised with what I found.

The Nation of Domination – An ELITE faction from the WWE’s Attitude Era that spawned The Rock that we all know and love and this fucking awesome video above. I still think that Mr. Ace failed miserably by not naming his dog “Farooq”.

CeNation – This is new and everything that John Cena does is gay so whatever. Fun Fact: Did you know that the star of The Marine 2 is Ted DiBiase, Jr? That has to be the worst movie ever made. Time to get into the nuts and bolts.

Buckeye Nation – Without question an unremarkable and annoying fanbase that deserves to be purged from Earth. I actually have never heard any of you commenters refer to yourselves as a Nation so that should be applauded. Well done. Your cohorts on the other hand, all terrible. There is no reference to Buckeye Nation on Wikipedia which means that it is just fake and does not exist. Way to keep sucking cocks, cocksuckers.

Red Sox Nation – Are you sensing a trend here? Nation = objectionable. This moniker came to be in 1986 when the northeastern part of the country was torn between rooting for the Mets and Sawx in the World Series. Talk about brutal alternatives. Those 9/11 terrorists were 15 years late.

Big Blue Nation - For Kentucky fans and their amazing ability to take over an opponent's arena.  There is no date of origin for this name so, whatever, Seal gay.

Raider Nation – My favorite fans without question. This merry band of criminals was founded in the early 80’s when convicts from the Bay area traveled south to watch the team play in LA. Raider fans remind me of an army of orcs or the Doth Raki from Game of Thrones. I consider them to be the original Nation as well as you should. From hence forth, they will be the only Nation to be recognized. If you disagree, expect multiple stab wounds.

Steeler Nation – Go figure that these assholes would have started this Nation craze. Yep, the cum rag-waving hayseeds are credited as the innovators of this term as Steeler Nation was coined in 1975. What say you about Steeler Nation, random Arizona newspaper?

They have occasionally been described in unflattering terms by sports journalists in other cities. For example, prior to Super Bowl XLIII, the Phoenix New Times warned readers that Steelers fans were the "grubbiest, loudest, and nastiest fan base in all of sports – as well as one of the largest" and that as the only NFL fanbase in Appalachia, they were "white trash" and "hillbillies."

I could not have said it better. They are quite grubby.

So there you go. If you are as tired of “Nations” as I am, then there is only one place to point the blame…Pittsburgh. You suck, Grumpy/Jeff.