Antonio Cromartie - Who could forget his wonderful segment on Hard Knocks where he couldn't remember the names of his kids? That was some terrific parenting right there. Next up: a short story from G$!
Now I’m not 100% confident about the small details of this story but the end result is definitely true. So back in the late 80’s, my dad was at a Cavs game at the old Richfield Coliseum. This is probably in the first few years that Ron Harper was on the team. Considering where Harp went to school, this was a big deal. So after a game, dad was hanging around the tunnel which is where his seats were (maybe he was wearing something Miami to draw the attention of the Ohio Flyer, again, not sure) and #4 came over. Dad handed him the Cavs hat that he was wearing and asked him to sign it. Harper agrees.
Ron: Who can I make it out to?
Dad: Just make it out to (GMoney’s Dad—for unnecessary privacy purposes, let’s call him “Andy”)…you can put it on the bill.
The future five time NBA champ finishes the autograph and hands the signed cap back. What did Ron Harper write for “Andy”?
“To Bill—Ron Harper”. Read my dad’s quote one more time and then re-read this. I swear this is true. That hat is still around the house somewhere. They didn’t pay Harper to think. Like I said, I may have some of the specifics wrong, but the “To Bill” part is fact.
Chris Webber - Even with his coaches telling them that they had no timeouts left, Webber's high IQ gave no fucks.
Lovie Smith - I'm just going to assume that he still has not won a challenge ever.
Daryl Strawberry/Doc Gooden - You've got to love a couple of deadbeats that had all the talent in the world but decided that crack and cocaine were better options. It seems like the violate their probation every day still.
Ron Artest/Jermaine O'Neal/Stephen Jackson - I was watching The Malice at The Palace live at the time. I will never forget it. It was incredible. Big black dudes running into the stands to fight white trash Detroit residents? Yes please!
Mo Clarett - I don't know for sure if Maurice would have made anything of himself in the pros, but I do know that chugging Grey Goose in the weight room and getting involved in high speed chases with an insane amount of fire power riding shotgun isn't very wise. Hey, speaking of Buckeyes, how about a guest story from Hellraiser:
So my Junior year I had the privilege of taking a class with Santonio Holmes. It was the first day of class for the quarter so it was basically syllabus day, however the professor decided to actually teach this day. I remember Santonio showed up 20 minutes late. Since the classroom was basically filled at this point, there was only one empty seat, which was right next to me in the back.
The professor keeps teaching, but Santonio is busy texting and listening to his iPod to pay attention. So every 3-5 minutes, Santonio elbows me to ask what the professor said/copy my notes. This goes on for a while until the professor eventually gets to the subject of 401k accounts and retirement plans. At this point Santonio elbows me and says directly to me:
"401k? Man, I don't give a fuck about no 401k."
He doesn't really whisper this either and some 3 or 4 rows of people turn around and look at us. He then looks at me for some type of response to his "question". I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was along the lines of "Yeah, man, this class sucks". He then packs up and leaves, and never shows up to the class again (I think he got drafted shortly thereafter anyway)
Plaxico and Mike Vick - Again, you already know about them. I'm happy to announce that Dr. Martin Luther King died for them. Think about that. And finally, a player that I like to think embodies the spirit of The Reverend Jesse Jackson.
March 16, 2003, Gund Arena, Cleveland, OH…Tyree Ricardo Davis is 6 seconds from immortality. He needs one more rebound to achieve all of his hopes and dreams. One more rebound to get an elusive triple-double. One more rebound to make a meaningless Utah Jazz and Cleveland Cavaliers game historic. But the clock is ticking. And he has the ball. What does he do?
"They should be mad," Davis said. "Any team that gets beat that bad shouldn't be happy. But I wouldn't do it again. I just wouldn't. I'd probably be mad, too, losing by 20." Ricky gives no fucks. Dude, look at Jerry Sloan's face! That shit is priceless. He can't believe what the fuck Ricky just did!
There. Our tribute to Black History Month has now come to a close. Please share with everyone any other classic moment that I may have forgotten. Bow Down.