Monday, February 13, 2012

Dut Went To A Rodeo and Other Stuff From The Weekend

Hi, Dut!
You can imagine my surprise when I read that our very own Dut went to a goddamn rodeo at Nationwide on Saturday night.  I can't wait to find out why.  "Free tickets" is not a good excuse for such a "Steelers fan" event.  You aren't better than much, but you are BETTER THAN THIS.  I think that Li'l Poopson hit the nail on the head though with his assertion that "cowboy butts drive Dut nuts".  True, so very true.  Let's just hit up a bunch of news stories from the weekend.

*Whitney Houston dead - Whatever.  I have never felt sympathy for crackheads and I don't see why I would start now.  My only feeling about this is that Kevin Costner has failed yet again.  Some shitty bodyguard he is. 

*LINsanity is officially annoying - Who could have guessed that ESPN would take a pretty good story, prematurely blow it WAY out of proportion, and then make the world turn on a kid that deservedly has earned praise.  The 13-15 Knicks (still terrible, mind you) led off Sportscenter every day this past weekend due to their Asian point guard that they were forced to play.  Guess what: the Knicks are still bad and Jeremy Lin will go back to being a nothing once Carmelo and Amare come back and take every shot.  So enjoy it now because those two ballhogs are going to kill off Yellow Fever very soon.  By the way, Worldwide Leader, Kyrie is better than Lin and Rubio, start reporting this.

*The Cavs are done - When news broke on Saturday that Anderson Varejao broke his wrist on Friday night (caused by goddamn Drew Gooden), it effectively ended the season for the Cavs.  Andy is out indefinitely which I would guess is anywhere from 6-10 weeks.  This team has almost zero depth (Harangody!) and can not afford to have their few good players get hurt.  It was a bad week for Byron Scott and Co.  Oh well, it was a fun 25 games but now it is time to start focusing on lottery position.  Let's unload Razor Ramon and Jamison, let the young guys learn on the job, and get some more balls in the lotto.  The pieces are there for the future, that is for sure.


*Sparty owns the Fuckeyes at everything - What a pleasant surprise it was to see Tom Izzo come to town and end Ohio's long home court winning streak Saturday.  It was an ugly ass game, but Sparty continues to beat the shit out of Ohio no matter what sport it is.  By the way, was it just me or was ESPN's HD feed fucking awful during this?  It was all choppy at the Mansion.  Congrats to Jared Sullinger on his triple-double (TEN turnovers!).  We've said it before but it bears repeating: Matta's team is ELITE defensively but this offense probably can't go on a 6 game winning streak come March.  The troof hurts.

*Bow down to the 'brow - I haven't watched a ton of Kentucky this year, but it's hard to ignore that Anthony Davis averages almost FIVE blocks per game.  That is ELITE.  I don't know if the kid is big enough (muscles) to go #1 overall, but he is a lock for top 3.  And if the Bobcats (AWFUL) get the #1, it's hard to see them taking someone that plays the same position as Byron James Mullens.

*Next stop: NOT the Hall of Fame - The Steelers are finally going to release Hines Ward.  That makes sense since he's terrible.  It's funny that Ward is begging them to resign him to a lesser deal just so he can stay with the team.  Fuck him.

*Next stop: Pittsburgh? - Everyone is reporting that the Yankees and Pirates are closing in on a deal that will send AJ Burnett to the bottom of the NL Central.  Obviously, the Yankees will eat a lot of money on this and have asked for slugger Garrett Jones in return for doing this (which would be a nice addition).  The Pirates are balking at this though.  But it appears that AJ's days are over in The Bronx.  Now, most Yankees fans truly despise Burnett but I don't.  Sure, they way overpaid the guy but he helped win a World Series and was a pretty decent big game pitcher over the years.  So if he is gone this week, I will just remember his excellent playoff starts from 2009.  But it is pretty LOL that they are going to pay someone 25 million to take AJ off of their hands.


*Next stop: Southside! - I think that we all are hoping that Gunner Kiel's college years are similar to what happened to Mitch Mustain.  Mustain was a piece of shit throughout his joke of a football career and now he has signed with the White Sox.  Mr. Ace already bought a MUSTAIN t-shirt jersey.

That about covers it for today.  I see that that Diggs asshole committed to Maryland which makes him the first cat not to get brainwashed by The Urbantaker.  Whatevs, there better be some awesome Dut/rodeo jokes today.  Don't let me down.

37 comments:

Grumpy said...

You better be buying me ribs when Hines goes to Canton.

Anonymous said...

ahhahahahah, I'll jump on that bet.

I've got 20 saying Dut wore skinny jeans to this event.

Jeremy Lin is a great story for sure, but the best thing about it by far is that Jason Whitlock tweet.

Ide

Grumpy said...

I can see Dut being into farm animals.

GMoney said...

If Hines Ward makes the Hall, I will personally stop pissing on your grave every week like I plan on doing.

Whitlock tweeting about 2 inch asian dongs was tremendous. Some stupid Knicks fan with a "Me Lin You Long Time" sign was also ELITE.

Anonymous said...

*LOLz at Dut going to a rodeo.

*I am officially IN for Linsanity. It's not like he's just been playing OK. He's been playing at an ELITE level. That Knicks/Lakers game was tremendous sports television and the crowd was great. Best sign was "Yellow Mamba". They should just cut Carmelo (I realize taht's not possible). Lin would work well with Amare on the pick and roll.

*Andy is a cunt.

*Bad basketball game on Saturday. This team's roster is flawed offensively and it showed when they weren't hitting shots against MSU.

*I want the Brow on the Pistons. He seems to be worth the rumored $ 180K that Calipari paid for him.

*No fucking way is Hines Ward making the HOF.

*I can't believe that anybody wants Burnett on their team.

*Red Wings tied the NHL record of 20 consecutive home wins last night. It humors me that the Wings have won more home games in a row than the Jackets have total wins this year. Organization is ELITE.

--Drew

Grumpy said...

Try thinking with your heads instead of your biased guts. 1,000 catches, 12,083 yds., 85 TD's, 2 Super Bowl rings, 1 Super Bowl MVP. He's in. I may not be here to see it, but I want all you dicks to think of me on his induction day.

MuDawgfan said...

I posted the following on my facebook feed last night:

I've never really enjoyed the grammys but my dislike is nothing compared to Whitney Houston. She'll do anything to get out of going!


Immediately I was unfriended by at least 4 girls from my high school and most left hatefull messages on my wall. Whatever, go back to working at fucking Outback your whores. Enjoy your saggy tits and Blake Shelton CD's and your horrible lives. Nobody can take a fucking joke anymore.

The Iceman said...

Dut finally found another use for the ass-less chaps his boyfriend got him for Christmas last year.

Unfortunately Grumpy is right. If Stallworth and Swann got sympathy inductions then Ward is certainly a lock with numbers twice as good. It's funny...the voters always take into account how many rings a guy has (which is fucking stupid) but never consider how the rules changes have ballooned stats at certain positions. He shouldn't be in, but will be.

Varejao is the biggest pussy alive and the league is better off without him.

Best thing I saw about Whitney Houston actually landed on my Facebook wall. It read, "tomorrow night Whitney Houston guest stars on the Walking Dead. Too soon?" not too soon and 100% ELITE.

GMoney said...

Dawg, that was an ELITE status update. You don't want to be friends with people that sympathize with crackheads anyway (Tyrone Biggums is an exception, natch).

Grump, you sound like one of those idiot Indians fans that think that Omar is getting into the Hall. Hines was a #1 receiver on the Steelers for what, 2 years in between Plax leaving and Santonio? The voters clearly don't give a shit about receivers with CC and Andre Reed still out (and Harrison on the ballot soon). He ain't getting in...maybe with Jeremy Lin in the Asian Athletic HOF though.

Drew makes a great point: The Red Wings are better than the Jackets. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST!

Burnett wouldn't be a bad pitcher if you were only paying him 4 million a season. Hell, the Indians were going to pay Roberto Hernandez Heredia 9 million this year (or 7, I can't remember, either way LOL!).

GMoney said...

I blame Simmons for Varejao's non-pussy injury. The day that Billy names him one of his ASG starters(!), the dumbest player alive breaks his hand. Fucking Gooden...no wonder he and Prim are boyz.

GMoney said...

Just a reminder, zombie talk can start around noon. I've got a doozy of a rant today. This is seriously either the worst best or the best worst show of all time.

Anonymous said...

Grumpy...did you read the article about Antonio Brown chilling with some random Steeler fan that lives in Indy all Super Bowl weekend long? Good story...sounds like a cool guy.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Drew, when Peter King found out about that story, he immediately had 18 of his friends stay with Brown for the weekend.

Anonymous said...

haha...that's a good one.

--Drew

Prime99 said...

Me and Drew Gooden are definitely NOT boys.

Meaningless 3's that affect my sports bet piss me off. Fuck the Cavs. I did go 2-0-1 on my sports bets in Vegas, though.

Whitney Houston jokes today have been mo' betta than ass-less chaps Dut jokes.

Hines Ward is going to be on a long-ass wait list to get into the Hall. If he gets in (big IF), it won't be for awhile.

The Iceman said...

Drew Gooden may grow stupid fuckin pubic patches at the bottom of his neck but he is ELITE at fantasy basketball. Makes the loss of Bogut sting a little less.

He's also ELITE at hurting guys I hate.

Drew, I saw that story too. Pretty cool shit.

Grumpy said...

Drew, I did read about Antonio Brown; pretty cool.

And yet most of you would probably consider Randy Moss a shoo-in, a guy who loafed 2 out of every 3 plays.

GMoney said...

Yes, Randy Moss and T.O. are shoe-ins. They actually were ELITE even if they weren't great blockers because very few people care about your run-blocking when you set NFL records for touchdowns.

Someone in the office is eating cooked cauliflower right now. I think I'm gonna hurl. This smells worse than mud-butt.

Anonymous said...

I bet Ape has a fierce recipe for cooked cauliflower!

Ide

Anonymous said...

I bet Ape has a fierce recipe for cooked cauliflower!

Ide

Anonymous said...

ELITE double burn.

GMoney said...

You know what, fuck it. I can't wait that long. That last scene has me so goddamn mad.

1. Herschel just decides after 20+ years that NOW he needs a few shots of Jameson? And he's going into a town to get it during a goddamn zombie apocalypse? Without a weapon? Herschel is the dumbest fucking doctor ever.

2. Rick Grimes is the worst. Seriously, THE WORST. He preaches all of these morals and takes the high road in a time where there is ONLY the low road and all of a sudden he murders two LIVING PEOPLE in cold blood? He murdered them. If I learned one thing from Zombieland it is that you don't kill the living. EVER. Rick gives no fucks though.

3. And seriously, what was the big deal? The guy from Terriers (bitchin’ cut-off tee!) and his fatso friend from Philly just wanted a place to stay for a few days. Was it that much to ask of them to turn them away AND kill them for no reason at all? Wouldn’t you want MORE people around to help around the farm and keep people safe from GODDAMN ZOMBIES!!!

4. You just emptied the damn barn of walkers. THEY COULD HAVE STAYED THERE!!! Jesus Christ, this show does nothing to help improve the image of the dumb Southerner.

5. Remember how Herschel was whining about Otis dying and Deputy Dumbass Carl living? Hey, Hersch, the newbies could more than replace that idiot Otis.

6. I hope that Lori dies. Typical woman driver...by the way, her car trip into town made absolutely no sense. Rick and Jeremy Lin went into town not more than 30 minutes before she decides that she needs to go by herself to get them. WHY! You have no talent or skills. So what happens if she gets bit? Can a zombie pregnant chick still give birth to a zombie baby? It is questions like these that keep me up at night.

7. At the beginning, Jeremy Lin was trying to explain to Mom Ass why Sophia was so important to the group. His logic made no fucking sense at all because the show did a terrible job of making the viewer care about the girl. Again, this show is the worst.

I think that that is all I have. Shane was his usual badass self. Darrell appears to be going crazy. Dale: still worthless. T-Dog: now speaking!

Anonymous said...

Dale is the worst character in television history. I actually loved that Rick shot those two people.

I hope to god that this show has some sensibilities and kill Lori and that baby. That part was beyond retarded, and in that light, I am sick and tired of all these close calls the main cast have. She will live, just like that faggot kid did when he got shot IN THE CHEST.

They desperately need to kill off that old dyke looking woman, most of the farm crew, Lori, and Dale. I imagine they will keep T-Dog around since he is the only colored on the show now.

It would be cool for Shane and Rick to get violent on some more street toughs, though. Vigilante road gangs would be sweet in this show for sure. Holding Lori hostage and thus irrelevant for the whole season is a solid start. I should be a tv writer.

Ide

GMoney said...

A few more things:

*When Shane was washing the hands of stupid mom, he was TOTES thinking about raping her. YOU KNOW IT!

*How dumb are those people to not see that "woman collapsing while doing dishes" is contaminated?

Yes, they need to start killing main characters off. They could start with all the women and Dale (who is a woman anyway). Shane's verbal beat down of Dale was incredible. Yeah, Gilligan, anyone can sit on top of a goddamn RV. Wake me when you find a radiator hose that you've been looking for FOREVER.

Anonymous said...

Jeremy Lin is the best thing to happen to the USA. Think about it. The Yao Ming craze in China made basketball popular but did not appeal to all because Yao was 7' tall. Now we have a 6' 3' asian american playing basketball. All the sweatshops will close over there because kids will think they have a chance to be the next Lin and focus on basketball. More jobs for the USA and the demise of China..... (Thank you Jeremy Lin!).

Did dut ask to borrow your fleshlight while he went to the rodeo G$?

Side note- At the glorious University of Toledo, when Yao was big, there would be a group of 20 asians playing bball. They would play 10 on 10. Jeremy Lin may help to get them to understand its 5 on 5.

---- Lange

Brady said...

Jeremy Lin putting up 38 on the Lakers after Kobe said he didn't know anything about him was ELITE. Fucking rapist.

Hines Ward is and always will be a cheap shotn', crack back blockin' fuck face. Watching him BEG for his job is fantastic. Go out like a man you pussy. Pathetic.

That Buckeyes/MSU game was a slop fest. Nobody played all that well but MSU deserved the win. It's hard to get all upset about an OSU basketball loss though as they already have a #2 seed at worst.

It must be nice to eat salaries of players that didn't work out without even flinching. Fuck the Yankees.

GMoney said...

It must be nice to eat salaries of players that didn't work out without even flinching. Fuck the Yankees.
AJ helped win a series.

I would take this argument more seriously if you losers could fill even half of your stadium. Enjoy Jon Garland. Damman was telling me that there were talks of a Burnett for Hafner deal anyway. Looks like Garland squashes that.

The Iceman said...

I would have totes shot those guido faggots, too. The last thing I want is a couple of Jersey Shore douchers coming into my camp, eating my food and fuckin the b-hole of my bitches. Find your own way, assholes.

Dale needs to die and I think Shane is gonna be the one to pull the trigger. I love how Shane called his ass out for being such a gash...which he most certainly is.

If a pregnant chick gets bit by a zombie, the child turns into a zombie as well. See: The Dawn of the Dead (new version). Also, ELITE cameo in Dawn of the Dead by the guy from Modern Family.

Prime99 said...

The guys from Philly are ruffians and Rick had to shot them. As soon as they said "Philly" Rick immediately remembered Eagles fans throwing batteries at Santa and It's Always Sunny and knew what he had to do.

But it's Sophia! Worst shit ever.

Its way past time to leave the farm.

Prime99 said...

Being that Dawn of the Dead was before Modern Family, that was less of a cameo and more of a role.

The Iceman said...

Being that Dawn of the Dead was before Modern Family, that was less of a cameo and more of a role.

Don't get technical on me, Prime. We all know there is no room on this website for facts.

GMoney said...

2 pm and Dut still has not shown up to defend himself...

I'm surprised at the support of Rick here. Bolstering your defense seems like a sound plan to me. RICK IS AWFUL.

Anonymous said...

If my memory serves me correctly, Dut has now gone to a NASCAR race and a rodeo within the last year.....yet he doesn't seem to want anything to do with a college hockey game. Very odd....and very homosexual.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Excellent point, Drew, how could we forget about his introduction to Carl Edwards!

The Iceman said...

Here's where I'm at G$. These are desperate times. Desperate times usually bring out the worst in people. These guys with shady stories and questionable character come strolling in, won't take no for an answer and are pretty much forcing their way into the camp.

Not to mention, the fat guy was already talking about slaying some puss so who knows what girl he forces himself upon if allowed access to the farm. Even though I would not be mad if Lori was raped. Let's pretend for a second that we're okay with a fat guy from Philly fucking our women...where's all the extra food and water coming from? When you start letting any old fucker that waltzes into your town into your camp, it doesn't take long for word to spread. Before you know it, there's 1,000 people there and basically killing each other for the last piece of bread. Like I said...desperate times brings out the worst in people. So they can all fuck off and find a different farm.

Prime99 said...

Iceman just brought a strong argument to the table. Fuck Philly!

GMoney said...

Iceman, you make a solid point there regarding the scarcity of resources but I'm about to blow that theory out of the water: Dale. If everything you say is true then why do they continue to let Dale operate and hide hams in his nostrils?

I would like to present this case:
Consider The Walking Dead to be the Buffalo Bills.
*Idiot owner (Ralph Wilson/Hershel)
*God awful coach (Chan/Rick)
*Wildly entertaining star (Stevie J/Shane)
*Person who thinks that their opinion matters when actually they are worthless (Fitzpatrick/Lori)
*Exciting and enigmatic role player (Spiller/Darrell)
*Black guy (take your pick/T-Dawg)

Much like the Bills, this cast just keeps losing and losing and constantly making horrible decisions. So why not bring in more help/new and fresh ideas? The Bills have the template for un-success, I don't see why The Dead cast would model themselves after this franchise yet not embrace any sort of change.

This was an ELITE analogy!