|Can I challenge my own decisions?|
Jerry Jones - I was watching OTL on Sunday morning and they had a segment dedicated to the Cowboys and their Cambodian sweatshops. Hilarious. Jerry Jones must die.
Mike Mayock's lisp - There is no question that Mayock knows football but someone please get him a speech coach already. Dude sounds like a queerbate.
Pacman Jones - Nice no-show, CHUH CHUH! Imagine how bad he would have looked if Andre Johnson could actually catch on Saturday. And on the deep touchdown, that was one epic faked-out-of-jock by Pacman.
Talking heads - Yeah, TJ Yates was shaky. What were you expecting? How can you blame a rookie for being skittish in his first playoff game? He's still better than Jake Delhomme and Jeff "Mayock" Garcia.
Chris Crocker - CC may have had the most LOL performance in recent memory. He should have worn a clown suit on Saturday with the way that he played.
1. Dropped an easy interception in the 3rd quarter that would have crushed Houston.
2. On the aforementioned Andre Johnson bomb TD, he was completely out of position.
3. And of course, how about when Arian Foster used him as a fleshlight for his touchdown run! That was embarrassing. Remember The Simpsons episode where Homer is the pee-wee football coach? Nelson is the star player and he picks Bart up by the back of the jersey and uses him as a lead blocker. That is exactly how Foster treated Crocker. Hilarious. Crocker should be unemployed yesterday.
Nate Burleson - What a worthless player. He was brought in to be a solid #2 and instead he makes the team worse when he's on the field. Why would a defense even cover him?
Matthew Stafford - Don't get me wrong, Stafford is awesome and showed this year that when he is healthy he is mos def ELITE. But if you are going to throw jump balls, you only throw them to The Tron. You don't throw them to Titus Young because he will lose every time.
Ndamukong Suh - Talent out the ass, but 2011 was a wasted and worthless year for football's Ric Flair. Face it, he blew dicks this year...ALL YEAR.
Gunther Cunningham - Nice fucking defense. If the Lions don't draft a CB in the first round, they should be nuked.
Inadvertent whistles! - Ruined the Lions momentum. Maybe Tony Corrente should focus more on being a solid ref instead of shaving his head like a scrotum. Then again, they weren't going to stop the Breesus anyway. Still though, excellent season by the Lions. Consider the roar restored!
Matt Ryan - When is this loser finally going to win a playoff game? What is the point of drafting Julio Jones if you aren't even going to try and go deep on a terrible secondary? Matt Ryan is a poor man's Tony Romo. He got outscored by his defense!
Mike Smith - This guy does nothing right. Has his team ever converted a 4th down? I was listening to The Common Man and The Torg on Friday and the Torg picked Atlanta to win with the exception of that if Mike Smith went for it at all on 4th down, they would lose. Clairvoyance, The Torg has it--this is such a Peter King sentence.
Eli Manning - Yeah, yeah, yeah...he's "ELITE". There isn't a luckier QB in the league. I can think of at least 5 times this year where Tardbaby completed a 4 yard pass and either Cruz or Nicks ran 80 yards for a score. It's getting old. I hate Eli. What kind of a name is Eli anyway? I hate the name Eli as much as I hate the name Ethan, Ian, and Skylar. I hope that BJ Raji shits on his face next week.
Grumpy!!! - FEED US, MOTHERFUCKER!!! Holy shit. Holy shit! I am writing this ten minutes after that game ended and I still can't believe how that game SAVED this weekend. HOLY SHIT! TIM TENOR IS THE TROOF AND THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME!!! No hiding it now, the guy just beat the Steelers in the playoffs. That is some big fucking cajones. I can't believe that I just watched that.
Big Ben - I'll tell you what, he's not going to get much pub from that game, but dude is a warrior. His defense let him down and he has one leg and he fucking OWNED.
Ike Taylor - You fucking suck. Who gets burnt constantly by Tim Tenor?
Champ Bailey - I would like to see the numbers behind how often a CB drops a pick and then the offense scores a touchdown a few plays later. It seems to happen 100% of the time. Once a Redskin, always a Redskin and Redskins drop interceptions.
Willis McGahee - You buttfucking sumbitch! How dare you! First, you let Ohio win a national title and then you almost let the Stillers win. YOU ARE GOOD FOR NOTHING AND I HOPE YOU GET A TRANSFUSION OF RYAN CLARK BLOOD.
Grumpy again - He seems to be not too bad of a sport about this so far (8:30 PM) considering his team just got their hearts broken by Tim Tenor and Tim Tenor alone, he is taking MAD shit from the commenters already, AND he just lost a couple hundred bucks on dinner with a bunch of fudgepackers (myself included).
Tim Tenor fucking saves. Never forget that. He is not done (I hope). Next up on the Tenor Murder Tour: Belichick and Brady. He is coming. TENOR!!! This is going to be a great commenting day. Oh yes, this is going to be a great commenting day.