|Just in case you were planning on rooting against Denver this weekend...|
Good call, Aguatto!
* Jets 9-7 - The Jets aren't getting better but they are getting older. I will never think that Sanchise is any good.
* Browns 7-9 - They're still going to kind of suck cocks and if Hillis gets hurt, this is a 3 win team, but they'll play hard and won't be a pushover.—So this was kind of right.
* 1. Texans 10-6 - Book it.
* Jaguars 3-13 - Cutting your starting QB less than a week before the first game? That's fucking terrible business.
* Eagles 10-6* - It won't be as easy as the back-up QB just assumes it will be. Vick will get hurt. Andy Reid will continue to be a terrible coach. They can have as many sick corners as they want just as long as they can't stop the run. This team will NOT win the NFC. Anyone want to bet against that?—Wow, other than the final record, I pretty much nailed that shit cold.
* Redskins 6-10 I'll give the Skins a few more wins than I initially thought and thus fuck themselves out of Luck
* Bears 5-11 - Everything went their way last year. Prime won't like this pick, but facts are facts. They all stayed healthy and got all the bounces last season. Things tend to even out which it will this year. Cutler is going to get killed behind that line (which probably isn't a bad thing).
* Buccaneers 4-12 - Just watch and see. This team isn't nearly as good as their 10-6 record was. They might not be 4 wins-bad, but they ain't sniffing .500 this year either.
May I ASS you a few questions (about these terrible predictions)?
*Bengals 1-15 - Quite possibly the worst offense ever assembled.
* 1. Chargers 11-5 - Norv is coaching for the job that he never should have gotten in the first place. I see 2011 being a revenge year for the Bolts.
* Bills* 9-7 - Here we go. Here's my pick to click.—It started off so promising, too!!!
* Cowboys 11-5 - Dude, look at their schedule. That is fucking cake. Yes, Dallas is going to win the division.
* Giants 5-11 DERP!
* Vikings 8-8, Rams 8-8, 49ers 5-11…all shit picks.
*MVPs – Rivers and Mario Williams LOL!!!
*ROYs – Julio Jones and Ryan Kerrigan…inspired choices but will go to Cam and probably Von Miller
*Coach – Chan The Man Gailey…Christ.
As you can see, I did pretty well for myself this season. And both of my preseason Super Bowl teams are still playing (Saints over Texans 30-20). I’m sticking by that, too! Needless to say, I am the true NFL expert around these parts and I will prove it with our annual playoff contest. In case you have forgotten, each Friday for the next month, I will preview each game and then pick the spread and over/under. I advise you all to do the same. The winner after the Super Bowl will earn a firm handshake and punishing slap on the ass. So let’s get to the previewin’:
Cincinnatta @ Houston (-3) O/U 38.5
This matchup has the potential to be truly abysmal. You don’t usually envision TJ Yates and Andy Dalton squaring off in the playoffs. It’s hard enough considering Joe Flacco a playoff QB, but these two? The Bingles seem to be everyone’s favorite to pull the upset this weekend and it’s easy to see why. Houston has been embarrassed by terrible competition the last three weeks and seemingly have no momentum. But Wade Phillips is back, Jake Delhomme heads back to the bench where he belongs, they are playing at home against a rookie QB, and they have a better defense and running game. As long as Yates doesn’t go nuts with the turnovers, I see the Texans winning comfortably here. Houston 26-17 OVER
Detroit @ N’Awlins (-10.5) O/U 59
I’m glad that NBC put this game on primetime because, while it could be a blowout, it will easily be fun to watch. We all know that the Saints are the greatest team of all time inside that dome and they already proved that to Jim Schwartz a few weeks ago. So why should we expect anything different this time? Well, Fat Stafford is arguably just as hot as the Breesus is and if the only way to beat the Saints is to outscore them, then the Lions definitely know how to light up the scoreboard. Detroit already knows what it’s like to play down there so I don’t see them being intimidated. It’s hard to fully trust the Saints after their choke in Seattle last January and their ability to get crushed by the Rams earlier this season. As I mentioned on Monday, karma is going to come back and get them eventually for running up the score these last few weeks. It just won’t be this weekend. I like the Saints to win but it will be closer than the experts think. New Orleans 45-41 WAAAAAY OVER
The ATL @ The New York Football Giants (-3) O/U 47
The Falcons feel like a team that would be God awful outside in the elements during a brisk January northern Jersey afternoon. They seem to be wanting to throw the ball all the time like some sort of poor man’s Saints when they should just keep feeding the mom-ass of Michael “Unburner” Turner. I don’t really understand why they are changing their identity that clearly works. The Giants are a weird team. The easy call here is to pick the Giants because they are playing at home and Victor Cruz is the greatest player of all time. But this team didn’t just get swept by Rex Grossman, they got TITTY-FUCKED in both of those games. Sure, they look great a lot but when Eli is off, they are SHIT. I was fully prepared to go Giants here until Justin Tuck started shooting off at the mouth about the ATL OL. Fuck him, he’s like the 5th best DL on that team. Give me the upset. Atlanta 27-21 OVER
Evil (-9) @ Good AKA The Rib Bowl O/U 34
Tim Tenor is rightfully being skewered for a month’s worth of absolute shit QB play. It doesn’t help that his receivers blow, McGahee is on life support, and that defense isn’t even average anymore. In fact, Denver might be the worst playoff team of all time. But I think that they have a chance on Sunday. Ryan Clark is out with a blood disorder in his gash. Ike Redman + John Clay equal LOL. Ben can barely move and is even admitting a setback in his ankle health. The Steelers don’t force turnovers anymore. And Shaun Suisham still sucks. Over the last month’s games (2 vs. CLE, SF, and STL), what have you seen that makes you think the Steelers are primed for a deep run in the playoffs? I’ve seen nothing. They may win this weekend, but they aren’t long for the playoffs this year. Unfortunately, I think we go rib-less, but again this will be closer than the experts think. First team to score a touchdown wins. Goddamn, I hope I'm wrong and Tenor PWNS James Harrison. Pittsburgh 13-9 WAAAAAY UNDER
This would set up PIT/NE, HOU/BAL, GB/ATL, and NO/SF. And that feels right to me. Leave your picks (spread and o/u) in the comments and pray for Tim Tenor. He’s probably going to need it. I don’t know if we’re giving away a prize for the winner or if it’s just for pride. And if you won last year, feel free to remind everyone. And another AND, I’ve told the wife that I’m going out to watch the game tomorrow night so if anybody wants to get together and watch Jim Schwartz's head explode, I’m all ears. GO BRONCOS!