Thursday, January 26, 2012

LeBron James Wants To Come Home...Wait, WHAT!

Stop mocking Mike Utley, you sonofabitch!
On Tuesday night, chapter of 5 of LeBron vs. Cleveland took place down in Souf Beach. The Cavs played hard (but not smart), LeBron was terrible, and somehow Chris Bosh single-handedly beat the talented, but not good, Cavaliers. I don’t ever like to see my boys lose to that fucktard egomaniac, but I’ve gotten used to #6 continually shoveling shit on his hometown. I'm sorry--he isn't FROM Cleveland.  He's from Akron which is waaaaaay different even though it isn't at all.  Clear?  Thought so. 

We’ve been over this ad nauseum here but The Decision and the fallout from that was something totally different and never before seen in the sports world and is likely to never be replicated again. Or are we approaching “The Reversal”? Are you ready for the apocalypse?  I hope you're sitting down for this.

Per Fox Ohio’s Sam Amico (from 1/24):
Now, there is talk that James is less-than-thrilled with certain aspects of the Heat organization. Sources in Miami (which is TOTES Brian “Fatty Windmill” Windhorst) say that while James still thoroughly enjoys playing alongside fellow stars Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, he doesn’t particularly care for the heavy-handed and disciplined style of team president Pat Riley.

James can opt out of his contract at the end of the 2013-14 season, and speculation is he will strongly consider it if Riley remains in his current role. And the team James would be eyeballing most in free agency, say those close to the situation, would be the Cavs.


First of all, WHAT THE FUCK? You can’t write things like this when my psyche is still fragile! I have not recovered fully from The Decision yet despite my gruff and sexy demeanor!  How am I supposed to deal with this news!

But back to LeBron, can this guy ever commit to anything long term? Even if this never happens, I’m willing to bet that he’s at least considering it. Otherwise, why would anyone be talking about it all. Now, this is a LONG way from being a reality and probably won’t happen anyway, but let’s just imagine that on July 1, 2014, LeBron James decides that he’s had enough of playing with his “super friends”.

1. Leaving Miami would be an admission of failure or wrong-doing and LeBron doesn’t do shit like that.  Let me be clear, LeBron James has never ever been wrong about anything according to LeBron James.
2. Without knowing cap situations, I would imagine that the Lakers (Kobe should be gone by then) or the Knicks would be way more attractive.
3. There is no fucking way that LeBron and Dan Gilbert can work with each other again. NO. FUCKING. WAY.

Let’s put all of that aside though, what if he truly wants to come back home? What happens then? Would the fans welcome him back? I mean, these people got taint-punched on national TV and the entire world saw it. That wound hasn’t healed yet and it may never. Would he apologize? I doubt that which gives me no reason to forgive him.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the last 12 hours; trying to gauge what my reaction would be if that backstabbing sumbitch donned the wine and gold again (one more time, we are way too far away from this being a possibility but the internet was built for shit like this). I am well aware (Iceman) that I helped create the global icon monster and maybe I deserved to be raped by a thousand humble pies. But what do you do when that monster comes back with his hat in hand? Goddamn this hypothetical situation fucking sucks! I honestly have no idea how I would respond since I never considered it to even be a remote possibility. I just assumed that I would spend the rest of my days rooting for him to break his legs.

After much thought (and obvz this could change if this scenario appears to be a potential reality), I say “fuck him”. No. The door is not going to be left open for your return. You moved on and so did we. The Cavs franchise isn’t some skank that you call up at 4 AM after striking out at Aztec. It’s about principle.  I like to think that my fellow Cavalier fans would agree with this sentiment.  If he wants to walk away from the Basketball Philadelphia Eagles, he can set his sights somewhere the fuck else.

But seriously, can you imagine if he opts out in 2+ years? That would be some wild-ass shit.  He would be hated by EVERYONE. I look forward to it.

27 comments:

Grumpy said...

You ARE that skank and would open wide.

Anonymous said...

The fact that you blogged and seem half excited about it proves to me that you'd take him back. People would pretend to not want him back at first, but once the team dominates the conference again you'd be on board. A team featuring kyrie and lebron in 2 years would be sick nasty.

I'm pretty sure the Indians welcomed back Jim thome when he came back completely washed up. Why not bring back lebron when he is still in his prime!?

Dut

Anonymous said...

If the ups man gets here before I leave for work I'm not going in today!

Dut

GMoney said...

There is a fairly sizable difference between Jim Thome's actions and LeBrons.

Maybe I would warm up to possible scenario eventually, but I am saying that I am very vindictive and RIGHT NOW I don't want to ever have to make that decision.

What a bizarre "leak" though. What is the point of letting this slip? Is it just to get Riley to step down? I don't get it. Maverick Carter can get fucked.

Anonymous said...

First of all, I don't believe it and find it hilarious that you do....you TOTES want him back so bad.

Second of all, I don't know whether I'm gonna be alive in 2.5 years....let alone give a single shit about some crazy hypothetical situation involving Lebron.

Terrible topic.

--Drew

GMoney said...

Thanks Drew, what was your topic at your blog today? Exactly...get fucked. Maybe Bleacher Report is more up your alley.

I don't think at any point did I imply that this was going to happen and said from the beginning that Gilbert and LeBron could never ever work together again. It's all hypothetical. So slow your roll.

You're right. I guess LeBron's people letting it leak that he already wants to quit the Heat is not a story at all. Good call. Again, get fucked.

Worse coach: Mike D'Antoni or Charlie Coles?

Anonymous said...

This would be hell. I can see all the ignorant "cousins" of Lebron yelling and screaming in excitement on his return. Well this would take place in the upper deck of the Q of course, because none of them have enough money to sit in the lower bowl.

I would buy a ticket and be sure to boo the shit of out him on his return, then become a Pistons fan. I mean they are more than likely going to draft another Kentucky player this year, giving me more than enough reason to like them.

Gilbert would never makes amends with him. Will never happen.

Fuck the NBA.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Also, how in the hell does Mike D'Antoni still have a job?

Seal

Anonymous said...

His mustache.

Ide

GMoney said...

Excellent point, Ide.

Prime99 said...

What should he do... I mean- it's his opt out clause!

Cleveland would welcome him back like the prodigal son. Fact.

GMoney said...

Prime, you are too far away to determine that as FACT. I don't think we would embrace him UNLESS he held a press conference and said that leaving was the worst decision he ever made and that he was sorry. And he would never do that.

It would be a really weird scene down at The Q.

The Iceman said...

Cavs fans are hilarious. You know that average to poor looking guy who gets dumped by his "out of his league to begin with" girlfriend then proceeds to shit talk her at every waking moment but knows if she came back TODAY he would take back everything he said and forget it ever happened? Yeah...that's this.

If you're gonna hate a guy the way Cavs fans hate Lebron, then you have to stay all in. There is no turning back and there is no forgiveness in this situation if you all were really hurt on the level you claimed to be. Show some integrity for Christ sake. Once you're invested in the deep hatred you all clearly have for him, you can't erase all that at a whiff that he may come back on a story sounding like it was written by Peter King. You look like a bunch of God damn flakes. Either you hate him or you don't. Make up your mind.

Anonymous said...

I love how G$ thinks that it must be true because he's sure someone from LeBron's crew leaked it. Fucking idiot. Is this some dumb ESPN "sources" story? The only people that give a shit about this is Cavs fans who want him back like G$. I bet the Easter Bunny is gonna visit you too!

Schiano to Tampa.

--Drew

GMoney said...

I love how G$ thinks that it must be true because he's sure someone from LeBron's crew leaked it. Fucking idiot. Is this some dumb ESPN "sources" story? The only people that give a shit about this is Cavs fans who want him back like G$. I bet the Easter Bunny is gonna visit you too!

Nothing in that mouth-breathing paragraph is accurate at all. I don't think it's true but I don't necessarily believe it's a lie either. This was from Fox. And I DON'T want him back (unless he personally apologizes to me and gives me like a million bucks or something, natch). How hard is that for you and Iceman to follow. I have made it crystal clear to everyone that I will never stop hating him. What is hard to follow about that?

You two are the dumbest commenters ever. FACT! OVERRATED! NOT ELITE! TIM TENOR!

Anonymous said...

"I guess LeBron's people letting it leak that he already wants to quit the Heat is not a story at all. Good call."

Yeah, you sure sound like a person there that doesn't believe that to be true. Just using it to back up why it IS a story to you. Who's the mouth breather now?

This has to be the worst blog posting on blogger today.

--Drew

The Iceman said...

You say you don't want him back but this post at minimum suggests you've entertained the idea of embracing him as a cavalier again. If you really hated him and wanted no part of him ever again this post could have been real short and sweet. Here...I'll write how it should have gone.

Apparently according to some fuck bag news reporter Lebron is interested in coming back to Cleveland if Pat Riley doesn't stop being a stinky butthole covered in poop sauce. Let me make this easy and clear for everyone. You are not welcome here, go fuck yourself, you will always be a piece of shit and your mom loves rubbing cocaine on the inside of her pussy...because that's what coke whores do. Have fun being hated by everyone...except Iceman.

The end. Then you probably could have thrown in that picture of him giving DWade fake head. Thats how short this should have been because it should have taken you less than 2 seconds to say "no fucking way in hell" if your hate was true and genuine.

GMoney said...

Good point, Iceman, way to encapsulate my feelings. Unfortunately, I drag everything out like Eddie fucking Hochuli.

Basically, even if he wants to come back, that feeling is not mutual and it never will be. There. Happy now?

Understand that yet, Drew? So sorry to waste your clearly valuable time. Just because of your surly demeanor today, there will be no jerk-off vids sent your way this weekend. DEAL WITH IT!!!

The Iceman said...

That's better. My life will always be better as long as cavs fans continue to hate Lebron with such intense vigor.

Brady said...

I would like to think Cleveland fans wouldn't welcome him back with open arms. He fucked the whole city right in the ass on national television. HOwever, the title drought in the city gets more unbearable every year. People want it so bad they can taste it. Sure, most would rather the Indians or Browns be the team to break through first but beggers can't be choosers. If it takes LeBron coming back to break that title jynx I think most would flip pretty fast. Not me however. The guy is a fucktard.

The Iceman said...

Silly Brady. Lebron alone can't deliver a title. We already played that game.

GMoney said...

Brady, I don't think that people would flip because it's been almost a decade now and one thing that we know is that LeBron does not equal championship.

And while the Browns will always be the #1 draw in town, the Cavs passed the Tribe in popularity years ago. Maybe it's because Dan Gilbert tries to win and Dolan doesn't.

Brady said...

There is no way the Cavs have passed the Indians. It's still baseball vs. basketball. America's pastime always beats out the NBA. If you ask 100 Cleveland fans which team they would rather win a championship, I would say it's 70/30 for baseball. Maybe 60/40.

I'm still holding out hope that Dolan is diagnosed with a terminal illness and decides to just say "fuck it. I'm all in".

Anonymous said...

Brady is absolutely right - there is no way the Cavs passed the Indians in popularity, you are fucking crazy. Youre completely bias on this because you are a Cavs fan and hate the Indians.

Seal

Anonymous said...

Its actually not ever close... the Cavs are a distant 3rd in this city.

Seal

GMoney said...

Maybe you're right, but choke on these numbers:

2011 playoff contender Indians - 24th in attendance, avg 22,726, and 52.3% capacity

2010-11 maybe the worst Cavs team ever - 3rd in attendance, avg 20,112, and 97.8% capacity while being in the top 5 in local TV ratings

To me, this is pretty damning evidence that NE Ohio likes the Cavs more.

GMoney said...

Now granted, those Cavs numbers could be skewed due to many re-upping season tickets before the decision happened, but the Cavs are averaging close to 17K this season so far and I would expect that number to go up as the season goes and they actually start playing the non-BJ Mullens teams at home.