|A truly ELITE Wig Splitter.|
The Crosstown Sucker Punch – There are so many things to say regarding this fucking disaster. First of all, I am desensitized to violence so the scene itself was not “shocking” or “disgusting” to me. If anything, it was just a bunch of guys proving racial stereotypes to be true. For the sake of this blog and Ide’s well-being, there’s nothing wrong with that! It’s just a bunch of black dudes with no self-control! So let’s break it down into some bullet-points
*Kenny Frease is a goddamn gargoyle rat bastard with a drinking problem (fact). People (like me) have wanted to knock that big fuck out for awhile now.
*Tu Holloway started it all because he talks too fucking much and must believe that there are never any consequences to his own actions.
*Yancy Gates is a fucking idiot. This isn’t Rosa Parks Park or wherever he plays pick-up games. It’s all televised. You just can’t throw random haymakers because some guy is laughing at your loss and get away with it.
*I think that Mick “Willow” Cronin is a shitty head coach but he was awesome in his postgame press conference screaming about how embarrassed he was and that playing college basketball is a privilege and whatnot. He handled it perfectly.
*Unfortunately, his punishments didn’t match his outrage. Gates and Mbodj (and someone else) only got 6 games and only one of those is during conference play. That doesn’t add up to me. I don’t know if I would have kicked Gates off the team, but I’m sitting his ass at least 10 games. I can handle the brawl, but Middle America (not sure about Middle Earth) probably can’t and likely wanted more than this slap on the wrist.
*Speaking of press conferences, WHY THE FUCK DID XAVIER LET TU AND MARK LYONS TALK? This was a worse idea than Gates cold-cocking a big white asshole. “Come here, guys, you just started (and they did) a massive and ugly brawl against your arch rival that led to the game ending early. How about you go out there and talk to the media.”—This is pretty much what X’s SID did. That guy should be fired and guillotined.
*Gangstas, eh? Tu Holloway should get 10 games for being a fucktard. At least he isn’t a thug though! JUST GANGSTA!
*Fortunately or unfortunately depending on your enjoyment level, X and UC will likely shelf this series for the next few years (at least). It’s probably for the best. UC is terrible.
*I’m sort of disappointed that we didn’t hear about a few Xavier guys driving back to Clifton that night “looking” for Gates in a kamikaze-like attempt to even the score. Then it could have been like that scene in A Bronx Tale where everyone gets Molotov cocktailed. Maybe then Miami would have a chance to beat those two schools. Doubtful. That about covers my thoughts on that.
*Oh! Speaking of “Sucker Punch”, for a movie with no nudity at all, that was about the most boner-ific film I’ve seen in a long time. The DSL’s on the main character chick are firmly entrenched in the ol’ spank bank. Totes recommend it.
Ohio State got Rocked, Chalked, and Jayhawked – Since I don’t actively hate Buckeye hoops, I have no real reason to sit and gloat about a road loss to a good team without their superstar player. It meant nothing. If anything, it probably helped. Getting a bad taste in your mouth and competing less than full strength are good things. I actually like that Evan Ravenel kid. There are only two black guys in the world named Evan and Thad Matta got them both to play for him. Evan is such a stupid fucking name. Bob Knight is fucking terrible at commentating. I am certain that he was asleep for 80% of the game.
Indiana Basketball is back? – I realized something on Saturday evening, it’s not a bad thing when Indiana is good at hoops. And they appear to be back after that thrilling win over Seal’s Wildcats. That was a great game. I don’t care much for Tom Crean (he looks like a guy that would delight in farting in your face), but he’s done a pretty sick job in Bloomington; resurrecting that program from the depths of Bolivian that Kelvin Sampson took it to. I’m looking forward to the first Zeller/Sullinger matchup. Oh, and while Indiana is arguably a top ten hoops program historically, that was one of the finest and most deserving floor stormings that you will ever see. Well done, Hoosiers.
Charlie Weis standing ovation? – Easily the most humorous portion of the anOSU/KU game was this blob getting a standing O from the crowd. He can’t even stand up without using a goddamn cane! What a terrible hire. This guy has been a disaster everywhere he’s been outside of New England. I can’t wait for him to fail again.
In conclusion, it’s nice to see that THUGBALL has made its triumphant return to UC Basketball. It has been awhile since they were rightfully portrayed as the villains. Somewhere in Hell (or Morgantown…same thing), Bob Huggins must be smiling like an asshole.