|Somebody do a Mapquest for this town...I went to spend the holidays there|
The NFL - Hey assholes, you only have to put each team on primetime once. There is ZERO demand for three Jaguars games at night. None.
Blaine Gabbert - I'm so happy that the Redskins passed on this guy. He blows and is scared.
Wild claims - Lange sort of mentioned this on Friday but I want to hit it home: Maurice Jones-Drew is the best running back in the NFL. Period.
Raheem Morris - It must be nice to watch your team quit on you. It must be nice to keep your job because management doesn't see anyone fitting to be an interim coach.
Johnny Knox's flexibility - What a little bitch...can't even take a spine-bending hit and survive!
Caleb Hanie - This guy is absolutely shitty. He is, without question, the worst quarterback in the league. The Bears are done. Thanks for those two pick sixes, Caleb, since Damman is still starting Seattle D for some reason.
Sam Hurd - This story just keeps getting more awesome. While the act of drug-dealing is shady as fuck, you've got to appreciate Hurd's desire to be the biggest drug dealer in all of Chicago. I hope that his blackbook gets released because I guarantee than Trent Williams and Fred Davis are in that bitch. Dude's going to spend the rest of his life in jail though. It was totes worth it, I bet.
Tennessee - Way to lose to the Colts. I'm sorry, that isn't fair. Way to get DESTROYED by the Colts.
Matthew Hasselbeck - I have no idea why this guy is still starting. He blows and Locker is better.
Jermichael Finley - CANNOT CATCH. At all. Finley might be the most overrated player in the NFL.
Rams and Vikings - Whatevs.
ELIte Manning - I can't believe that the Redskins swept the Giants this season. That is embarrassing. I also don't like how we helped the Cowboys. Is it just me or should the Giants be way better than 7-7? After a shaky first quarter, The Sex Cannon looked terrific. We're fucking up our draft position though.
TJ Yates - Week fifteen was sort of the end of quite a few good runs like Eli looking elite, the Packers win streak, and Yates appearing to be a competent QB. After a team has clinched their division, it's almost a guarantee that they will get beat the next week. Shame on Texans fans for booing them though. Maybe they'd rather have those 7-9 teams back again?
Bills Defense - Bad day for upstate New York with Commenter Daniel getting steamrolled by G$ in the DFL playoffs and the Bills defense letting Reggie fucking Bush drop 2 bills on them.
The Cruel Mistress - I have all four of my fantasy teams in the playoffs. I've daydreamed about winning all 4 of those leagues and then getting asked to join the cast of The League. But the reality is that fantasy football is a bitch that likes to fuck you at the worst moment. And thus my MSFL team that was awesome for 14 weeks shit their knickers on me this week and now I am done. That blows. I will not congratulate Damman because I am superior but I will take the high road and say that HE GOT LUCKY!!! Green-Ellis and Beanie blow! Ugh, fantasy football...how I hate to lose.
Colt McCoy - I couldn't help but notice that he was not missed this week. Arizona or Seattle better not make the playoffs.
Lion/Raiders WTF!!! - That was a pretty incredible finish as Megatron finally came back from his 5 straight weeks of shittiness to PWN. In the 3rd quarter, I was thinking to myself that the Lions have no identity anymore on offense. Then Chins went buck wild on that Raiders defense and that is the kind of win that gets a team's mojo back.
Rex Ryan's defense - The fuck was that?
Meaningless records - Shady McCoy broke some old fucker's franchise touchdown record. Whatever. This is not the Andy Reid that I know who is afraid of running the ball. Yes, the reason that the Eagles suck this year is because of McCoy. FACT!
Everyone on the Broncos but Tebow! - Damn. I really wanted that Statehouse rimjob from Grumpy. I didn't think that Double T played poorly actually. He threw the ball fairly well but the turnovers were killer. Oh well, Tebow is still going to beat the Steelers.
At least I'm on my way to the DFL Super Bowl to battle the team of Ide/Buke. I am not afraid. Ide may have the smut business in his bloodlines, but I am still superior. I am too depressed about the MSFL to proofread this...deal with it.