|The patron saint himself.|
2006 - Colt Brennan
2007 - Tim Tebow
2008 - Tim Tebow
2009 - Toby Gerhart
2010 - Cam Newton
The Heisman voters tend to not give the award to the best player (how Mark Ingram beat out Toby Gerhart, I will never understand). But the Weisman does. We did last year with Cammy Cam Cam. We correctly awarded Tebow back-to-back since Navajo Sam shit the bed in his biggest game. And we ignored Troy Smiff because Colt was an unstoppable force on the football and rape field.
We don't look entirely at numbers or wins and losses or schedules, we vote with our eyes. Who is kicking the most ass EVERY WEEK. You can't mail-in games against lesser opponents. You curbstomp those fags just as hard as you would for your rival. This is why Tebow lost out on a 3rd straight Weisman unfortunately. This is why Terrelle Pryor was never be considered (he didn't bring the thunder every week like he should have). It's time to embrace the best of the best and crown the 2011 Weisman Award winner.
Those who were not invited:
Andrew Luck - For the life of me, I can’t understand why Luck got invited to New York. I am well aware that he is going to the truth at the next level and that he speaks like the Cookie Monster, but I need more. The guy averaged 264 yards and 3 touchdown passes per game. Very good, but not ELITE. If The Weisman was given out to the guy who was best at handing the ball off or throwing to tight ends, then Luck might be considered. But it isn’t so you keep working on that degree in architecture, jerk.
LaMichael James - I have very little respect for the products of gimmicky systems. But I’ll be nice since I don’t want to be on the business end of LaMichael’s titanic under-bite
Trent Richardson - T-Rich is another example of someone that is going to kill it in the NFL, but exactly what was I supposed to be impressed by this year? What was his signature moment? Don’t even think about saying “Auburn” because Paul Finebaum could score thrice on that defense. Richardson was held to 37 yards by Kent State by the way.
Brandon Weeden - Dude, you’re an old man. Why are you still playing college football? Get out of here.
Case Keenum - Pffffffffft, way to not win Conference USA…whatever that is
Tyrann Mathieu - I give no fucks about “The Honey Badger” and his playmaking abilities. Here is what I know about him: he isn’t even the best cornerback on his team, he was suspended (for drugs I think) earlier this season, and he clotheslined a Roll Damn Tider in a blatant cheap shot. I don’t respect that or his stupid hair. He’ll fit in well with the Lions though.
Justin Blackmon, WR, Oklahoma State - In my opinion, he is the best player in the country and it really isn't close. He's built like goddamn T.O. yet appears to be the nicest guy ever. I saw something where he's BFFs with some little white girl that has leukemia. That's cool as shit. Enjoy your time with the Rams, JB!
Montee Ball, RB, Wisconsin - He's good, but I don't think he's THAT good...if that makes sense. I'm fairly certain that any decent back could put up a monster in Wisconsin's system. But still, 38 touchdowns is 38 touchdowns so I better recognize. I just won't give him the award.
Robert Griffin III, QB, Baylor - Come Saturday night, he better be the one holding the trophy at 9 pm. There is no one more exciting to watch in college football. He might as well call himself The Rock because RG3 is the most electrifying man in football today. And if you disagree with Griffin winning the award just ask yourself this: When was the last time that Baylor was relevant? Yet he only finished third in the Weisman vote. If Griffin is third and Ball, Luck, Richardson, and Mathieu have already been mentioned, then WHO THE HELL ARE THE TOP TWO!!!
Collin Klein, QB, Kansas State - Who? Oh, Klein only had 12 touchdown passes this season but did you know who finished second in rushing touchdowns behind Ball? Yep. CK had 26 of them bitches. Kansas State finished 10-2 this season. Did you even realize that? That's incredible. I'm giving Klein the runner-up trophy for resurrecting a dead program and doing so with a badass season.
The 2011 winner of The Money Shot's Weisman Award is...
Matt Barkley, QB, USC.
I don't care if I'm called a Barkley jock sniffer. I really don't. The guy lived up to all of the expectations this season and then some. Hell, USC and their 65 scholarship players and no bowl eligibility are ranked FIFTH in the AP. That is amazing. The Trojans play primarily all Freshmen and Sophomores.
Matt Barkley threw for more yards, more touchdown passes, and less interceptions than Andrew Luck this year. All FACTS. Barkley had signature games on the road at both Notre Dame and Oregon. It actually boggles my mind that he didn't finish in the top 5 of the Heisman vote. In my opinion, he was the best player in college football this year. So congrats, Matt Barkley, on winning the 2011 Weisman Trophy.
And if you decide to go back to USC for your Senior season (as Matt Kalil is apparently doing for some dumb fucking reason even though he's a top 3 pick), I will take this fucking award back. Everything is shaping up for you to be a Redskin. As some boy band once mouth-queefed, "quit playing games with my heart". Go pro, dammit.
So there you go. Six years in a row of getting it right while the actual Heisman voters continually fuck it all up. I'm going to celebrate another year of being wise with some college hockey tonight. Go RedHawks!