Wednesday, December 07, 2011

College Bowl Season: Bend Over, Here It Comes Again

This is all it takes to vote in the Harris Poll apparently.
As the smartest person at this site, I am well aware of how pointless it is to piss and moan about the bowl season. But what isn’t pointless is getting shit off of your chest. I’m not talking about the way that your mother gets shits off her chest (with Lava soap, natch!), I’m talking about a good, old-fashioned angry rant. I can honestly say that I dislike college football right now.  I don't find it enjoyable at all because nothing makes sense (and not in the good way where you are surprised constantly, this is a shitty way to not make sense).

The problem I’m having here is that I can’t blame one particular party for skeeting all over the once great tradition of college bowl season. It’s everyone’s fault. The NCAA, the conferences, the BCS, the coaches, the media, the sponsors, the schools, the fans, Craig James—EVERYONE is to blame for allowing college football to become a cesspool of greed and stupidity. I hate that we have to sit through ASS games just because boring Louisville (or some other big boy) travels better than Southern Miss. That sucks. So you sit your queer asses down and let the grown-up talk down to you for a little bit, K?

*First things first, Oklahoma State got royally fucked. I don’t know more than 5 people who wanted to see a rematch but here we are. It’s like when you’re sitting around a big group, something stinks, and no one claims the fart. SOMEONE ripped one yet no one cops to it. And someone obviously wants to see another classic offensive showcase by the SEC yet no one is claiming responsibility. We all know the facts by now. One team won their conference and one didn’t. One team had their shot and the other didn’t.

*Play along with me here: imagine the roles were reversed and the Cowboys snuck into the 2 hole like Florida did to Michigan however many years ago. Would Alabama have ANY argument at all? Sure, idiots would cry about their precious “eye tests”, but Saban would literally have ZERO to complain about. I still don’t buy this manure about “Alabama is clearly the second best team” either. Yes, their defense is great and their RB is going to be a stud at the next level. So what? AJ McCarron is a turd (meaning that he is not welcome at RichRod’s Arizona!). Their special teams blow. That “great” defense faced ONE good offense all year (and Arkansas defines “overrated”). But because Alabama plays an SEC schedule and went 11-1, I’m supposed to believe that they are #2. I don’t fucking think so. You know why?

*The SEC sucked in 2011. WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS!!! Outside of LSU and Alabama, the conference is NOTHING this year. Could Boise State have went 11-1 with Alabama's schedule?  FUCK and YES.  If the SEC was any good, do you really think that Mark Richt would only have 3 losses??? Open and shut case, Johnson. The Big 12 was FAR superior this season. And this is what is pissing me off right now. ESPN and the SEC are currently involved in financial coitus and thus ESPN (the only true televised outlet for college football coverage and news) has not said one bad thing about these programs. Did you know that NO ONE in the SEC can score an offensive touchdown outside of The Ozarks? It’s true. You shouldn’t have to come to The Money Shot to learn about this.  Mark May should point his douche glasses to the South and tear them a well-deserved poop slot instead of letting them off the hook.

*Enjoy your rematch, pussydicks. Watching Justin Blackmon and Tyrann Mathieu go head-to-head probably would have just sucked balls anyway. Can I get more punts from Brad Wing, please?

*Basically, it pretty much boils down to the fact that we are getting a second helping of SEC shit because of a plane crash.  Mike Gundy is getting punished because he lost a fluky game on the road to a bowl team two days after two of his peers died and I'm positive that his players were at least a bit shaken by the whole thing.  It's really that simple.  College football rules.  I will not hear any argument against this.

*Whew, that felt great. I needed that. You know what else I need to say: Ohio State and Florida have no business playing on January 2nd. I get why and I understand why The Gator Bowl did it but there are about 20 teams more deserving of this bowl. That’s an extremely shitty reality that bowls would rather give the public God awful teams and games than have to look at empty seats. Don't kid yourself, this game is going to be a used tampon.  Like I said, I get it, but that doesn’t mean that I have to watch it. I won’t either because I have to work on the 2nd.  WINNER: G$.

*There should be a rule that if you fire your coach, you can’t go to a bowl. Seriously, Illinois vs. UCLA is the worst matchup in the history of football.

*Just watch: Oklahoma State will get waxed because they feel sorry for themselves and Alabama will ROLL DAMN TIDE. This sort of thing happens every year.  You could win every bowl pool you enter if you didn't look at the players and just concentrated on which teams wanted to be there more.

*That still doesn’t mean that the SEC didn’t suck this season. 2 wrongs don’t make a right.

*What I do like about bowl season is when we get games between two schools that rarely play each other or have deep histories (not stupid fucking inter-conference rematches).
-Florida State/Notre Dame should be cool just based on nostalgia alone (and better involve Rocket Ismail, Charlie Ward, and Lee Corso putting a plastic bag over Lou Holtz’s head).
-Iowa/Oklahoma could be interesting with a battle of two overrated coaches going head-to-head.
-Houston/Penn State offers a nice contrast in styles.
-Sparty/Georgia could be a “HE KNOCKED OFF HIS ‘DO RAG” kind of game.
-Stanford/Oklahoma State probably should be the most entertaining game of all the bowl season.

*The team that really got fucked out of a BCS bowl was Kansas State. Seriously.

*As far as the MAC goes, Toledo/Air Force and NIU/Arkansas State will be worth watching. You’ll just have to trust me on this.

*BOWL PICK 'EM!!!  ID is 17565 and the password is gmoney.  If you were in it last year, I sent you an e-mail asking to re-join.  I won this bitch last year so I wasn't able to give anything away.  The offer remains on the table though.  Win the pool and win some mediocre prizes.  Iceman, throw this up on Twitter or some shit.  Let's try to get a decent sized group.

That about covers it, I think. I’ll probably try to avoid the National Title Game out of spite. What night is it on? Monday? That seems like as good a time as ever to check in on my boy, The Miz and The World's Strongest Man Mizark Henry.


Grumpy said...

Ace will be here claiming Bama is clearly #2. Fuck him. G$ rules.

GMoney said...

Grumpy, your comment above is the best comment ever. Especially that last sentence...way to hit the nail on the head.

Anonymous said...

Throw in a fleshlight to the prize pack and im in.


Anonymous said...

I still don't think that Okie State got "royally fucked", because they lost to shitty Iowa State. As I said yesterday, I'd rather see them play LSU...but I don't they got fucked because they went full retard in Ames.

There is no winning by having to work on 1/2.

Who the fuck cares who is in the Gator Bowl? I'd rather us be in the Alamo Bowl...then we'd at least be the only game on TV. There are like five games going on during the Gator Bowl time slot.


GMoney said...

You know how I know I made great points in a post? Drew only tries to argue the small, trivial details. WIN!

I hope that T-Bone Pickens starts suing everybody over getting hosed. That would be tremendous.

I long for the days when bowls didn't have a choice of who they could invite. Oh, Northwestern finished third in the Big Ten? They're going to the Citrus Bowl eventhough you really prefer a sellout from that 6th place Michigan team. GET FUCKED BOWL GAME!

Mr. Ace said...

Agree with Lil Strut. You can't lose to Iowa State and claim to be screwed out of anything.

Toledo/Air Force is gonna be tits. Might combine for 140 points.

The Iceman said...

Throwing it up on Twitter.

"imagine the roles were reversed and the Cowboys snuck into the 2 hole like Florida did to Michigan however many years ago"

This is what I was referring to yesterday, Drew. The BCS lost any credibility it had left (which was almost zero) when it decided Bama should play LSU over OK State. The voters CLEARLY stated back in 2006 you need to win your conference to be considered for the NCG. That's why Florida jumped Michigan at the end of the year in 06. Unless you want to say the jump was because of Florida's "convincing" wins over South Carolina (17-16) and Arkansas (38-28) that gave them the edge.

The BCS is just a bunch of power hungry parental figure assholes that just respond with, "because I said so" any time you ask them a question about the obvious hypocrisy going on. This, right here, is why we need a playoff system.

GMoney said...

Dude, it's an excuse and all, but still...plane crash.

And I have yet to see a comment from LS so who are you agreeing with? Quit freebasing Farooq's shit.

If you are pro-playoff, this is not the year to be screaming about it. There are two teams with a legit beef. There aren't 7. This is not the BCS's fault that we have a rematch, it's the voters.

No one in the ACC, Big Ten, or Pac-10 should be playing for a title. Fact.

Anonymous said...

Lil' Strut hasn' tmade a comment yet, which means Ape agrees with me!

I think ESPN deserves some hate in teh corruption that is this system as well. They are the oens that are paying millions for an SEC contract...and are airing the game. Of course they were pushing hard for an all-SEC championship game as well.


Mr. Ace said...

Damn, I agreed with Drew. I'm sure LS agrees too.

Those football players couldn't even pick the people who died in that plane crash out of a lineup prior to their death. I'm sure it affected the school and students, but I don't know how much it had to do with the football team at Iowa State.

Not sure what a playoff argument has to do with this year. So Wild Card teams aren't serious threats to win the Super Bowl in the NFL? A playoff has nothing to do with picking #2. FBS, D-II, D-III and every other sport have no problem with making that decision. The pro-playoff argument can be made every year.

MUDawgfan said...

It should be noted that ESPN first approached the B1G and offered them the same type of TV Coverage Contract they offered the SEC (albeit, two years earlier) and B1G leadership turned them down in hopes of starting their own network.

Well you've got your own network now and you make more money than the SEC does on network revenues -so you have absolutely NOTHING to complain about.
You declined the offer to go your own way and it worked out and now you're bitching?

The B1G is the equivalent of the bitchy highschool girl who won't take a summer job to earn money for a car. Then gets a nice car from her parents and still complains when her neighbor gets a better car (despite the fact the neighbor took the job and worked for it).

Fuck off. Redhawks sweep Buckeyes in Hockey this weekend. I hate you all (cept for Grump and Ide).

GMoney said...

As someone who has worked in an athletic department before, everyone knows everyone. Like I keep saying, it's an excuse and all, but it's a pretty good one.

ESPN is the devil and is great at ruining everything.

I'm surprised that no one has made an offer to carry me off the field for calling out the SEC yet. That was an ELITE observation.

GMoney said...

Pump your brakes, Dawg. You can't hate me! I'll be at that game on Friday night!

Anonymous said...

Just give us a damn playoff already. How sweet would it be for the top teams to actually have to play each other!? Since $$ drives everything in college football, it's a miracle it hasn't been done yet.

Also, I think college football needs to create another division. Obvz the mid-majors have no chance to ever win a national championship and don't even have close to the same talent levels... So why not make another division for them to compete in?

If I was Oklahoma state I would have ranked Alabama 25th and Oklahoma state 1st. Pretty sure that would have gotten then in. Deal with the politics later.


GMoney said...

Dut, that is a great idea BUT...Mike Gundy doesn't have a vote in the coaches poll while Saban and David Shaw do. This makes a lot of sense to no one.

Brady said...

"Enjoy your rematch, pussydicks. Watching Justin Blackmon and Tyrann Mathieu go head-to-head probably would have just sucked balls anyway. Can I get more punts from Brad Wing, please?"


I'm also curious as to why the SEC is still viewed as the best conference this year. They are ultra top heavy with two good teams and the rest can go suck a dick. If I were a Michigan fan, god forbid, I would be screaming bloody murder that UM didn't get another shot at OSU in '06. EXACT same circumstances. That game was a 42-39 slugfest that still rates as one of the best games ever played. If anyone deserved a rematch it was Michigan and it really pains me to say that. Fuck the SEC and fuck ESPN. I'm sick of their little game of grab ass they play with eachother.

Anonymous said...

MUDawg....I'll complain about ESPN all the fuck I want. I LOVE the fact that NBC seems very intent on this NBC Sports Network being a thorn in ESPN's side. ESPN needs competition...until that happens they are gonna do whatever the fuck they want, because they have nobody to answer to.

Ape....I'm with you...those football players didn't give a shit about a Women's basketball coach dying...and even if they was the tiniest of shits and had no bearing on them losing to shitty Iowa State.


Grumpy said...

Iceman and I have never met, but I'm sure he'd be off his game for awhile if he learned I had died a tragic death.

Even with a playoff system, the networks and the big conferences will still make sure somebody gets screwed.

The Iceman said...

Sound reasoning, Grump. Totally agree. I would most definitely dump out a 20oz. ginger ale in your honor.

Keep in mind this isn't the first tragedy involving a plane crash for this university. I don't give a shit how little you know a department. Two fatal plane wrecks in your athletic department in 10 years will fuck with anyone's ability to put their best product on the field.

GMoney said...

It's still an excuse in a sport where there are ultimately no excuses, but it's still semi-justifiable. Maybe the football players didn't know the coaches well, but I'm sure as shit they know the players on that team (probably diddled a few of them) and that their world just got completely turned upside down. Normal people can place themselves in other people's shoes as a means to understand what they're going through.

Yes, they still should have won the game but don't be naive that a plane crash had no impact on their psyche and focus. But then again, OSU probably could have had the game pushed back to Saturday and didn't.

I'm starting to like Brady. He seems to hate The Iceman and gives me props often.

Raw > BCS Title Game on 1/9

The Iceman said...

"Probably diddled a few of them."

Lebians like dick now??

Give it time, G$. Your opinion of Brady will change rapidly once he starts talking more. It'll be like having another Drew on the message board. Is that what you want?!

Prime99 said...

Drew is right about ESPN needing competition. I'm looking forward to checking out the NBC sports channel.

I wish I liked College Football more, but it's like the bad TV show that pulls twists out of its ass trying to make things interesting. Unfortunately, it ends up being incoherent rather than interesting.

Brady said...

Wow Ice. That shit stings. I thought we were brothers for life. It's not my fault I'm from Ohio and not a traitor like you. It's fucking Michigan bro. Nothing but toothless hunters, militia groups and laid off auto workers. IS that what you want to be associated with? Maybe it is. I don't know.

BTW, what are you doing for the game Thursday night? It's not like you will ever call me back so I'll just communicate through this public forum. We should drink some beers and make fun of the inevitable bandwaggoners/hilljacks that will come out of the woodwork. Fuck Pittsburgh.

G$, I am going to need another In-laws/family update soon. Those last couple posts had me in stitches man.

GMoney said...

Hmmmmmmm, well Christmas is coming up and I get the chance to invade their space. I'll see what I can do.

The Iceman said...

It's fucking Michigan bro. Nothing but toothless hunters, militia groups and laid off auto workers.

You left out winners.

I'm sure I could probably make it down to BG for some good ol fashioned Shittsburgh bashing. I'll call you back right after I fire my secretary.