|This is all it takes to vote in the Harris Poll apparently.|
The problem I’m having here is that I can’t blame one particular party for skeeting all over the once great tradition of college bowl season. It’s everyone’s fault. The NCAA, the conferences, the BCS, the coaches, the media, the sponsors, the schools, the fans, Craig James—EVERYONE is to blame for allowing college football to become a cesspool of greed and stupidity. I hate that we have to sit through ASS games just because boring Louisville (or some other big boy) travels better than Southern Miss. That sucks. So you sit your queer asses down and let the grown-up talk down to you for a little bit, K?
*First things first, Oklahoma State got royally fucked. I don’t know more than 5 people who wanted to see a rematch but here we are. It’s like when you’re sitting around a big group, something stinks, and no one claims the fart. SOMEONE ripped one yet no one cops to it. And someone obviously wants to see another classic offensive showcase by the SEC yet no one is claiming responsibility. We all know the facts by now. One team won their conference and one didn’t. One team had their shot and the other didn’t.
*Play along with me here: imagine the roles were reversed and the Cowboys snuck into the 2 hole like Florida did to Michigan however many years ago. Would Alabama have ANY argument at all? Sure, idiots would cry about their precious “eye tests”, but Saban would literally have ZERO to complain about. I still don’t buy this manure about “Alabama is clearly the second best team” either. Yes, their defense is great and their RB is going to be a stud at the next level. So what? AJ McCarron is a turd (meaning that he is not welcome at RichRod’s Arizona!). Their special teams blow. That “great” defense faced ONE good offense all year (and Arkansas defines “overrated”). But because Alabama plays an SEC schedule and went 11-1, I’m supposed to believe that they are #2. I don’t fucking think so. You know why?
*The SEC sucked in 2011. WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS!!! Outside of LSU and Alabama, the conference is NOTHING this year. Could Boise State have went 11-1 with Alabama's schedule? FUCK and YES. If the SEC was any good, do you really think that Mark Richt would only have 3 losses??? Open and shut case, Johnson. The Big 12 was FAR superior this season. And this is what is pissing me off right now. ESPN and the SEC are currently involved in financial coitus and thus ESPN (the only true televised outlet for college football coverage and news) has not said one bad thing about these programs. Did you know that NO ONE in the SEC can score an offensive touchdown outside of The Ozarks? It’s true. You shouldn’t have to come to The Money Shot to learn about this. Mark May should point his douche glasses to the South and tear them a well-deserved poop slot instead of letting them off the hook.
*Enjoy your rematch, pussydicks. Watching Justin Blackmon and Tyrann Mathieu go head-to-head probably would have just sucked balls anyway. Can I get more punts from Brad Wing, please?
*Basically, it pretty much boils down to the fact that we are getting a second helping of SEC shit because of a plane crash. Mike Gundy is getting punished because he lost a fluky game on the road to a bowl team two days after two of his peers died and I'm positive that his players were at least a bit shaken by the whole thing. It's really that simple. College football rules. I will not hear any argument against this.
*Whew, that felt great. I needed that. You know what else I need to say: Ohio State and Florida have no business playing on January 2nd. I get why and I understand why The Gator Bowl did it but there are about 20 teams more deserving of this bowl. That’s an extremely shitty reality that bowls would rather give the public God awful teams and games than have to look at empty seats. Don't kid yourself, this game is going to be a used tampon. Like I said, I get it, but that doesn’t mean that I have to watch it. I won’t either because I have to work on the 2nd. WINNER: G$.
*There should be a rule that if you fire your coach, you can’t go to a bowl. Seriously, Illinois vs. UCLA is the worst matchup in the history of football.
*Just watch: Oklahoma State will get waxed because they feel sorry for themselves and Alabama will ROLL DAMN TIDE. This sort of thing happens every year. You could win every bowl pool you enter if you didn't look at the players and just concentrated on which teams wanted to be there more.
*That still doesn’t mean that the SEC didn’t suck this season. 2 wrongs don’t make a right.
*What I do like about bowl season is when we get games between two schools that rarely play each other or have deep histories (not stupid fucking inter-conference rematches).
-Florida State/Notre Dame should be cool just based on nostalgia alone (and better involve Rocket Ismail, Charlie Ward, and Lee Corso putting a plastic bag over Lou Holtz’s head).
-Iowa/Oklahoma could be interesting with a battle of two overrated coaches going head-to-head.
-Houston/Penn State offers a nice contrast in styles.
-Sparty/Georgia could be a “HE KNOCKED OFF HIS ‘DO RAG” kind of game.
-Stanford/Oklahoma State probably should be the most entertaining game of all the bowl season.
*The team that really got fucked out of a BCS bowl was Kansas State. Seriously.
*As far as the MAC goes, Toledo/Air Force and NIU/Arkansas State will be worth watching. You’ll just have to trust me on this.
*BOWL PICK 'EM!!! ID is 17565 and the password is gmoney. If you were in it last year, I sent you an e-mail asking to re-join. I won this bitch last year so I wasn't able to give anything away. The offer remains on the table though. Win the pool and win some mediocre prizes. Iceman, throw this up on Twitter or some shit. Let's try to get a decent sized group.
That about covers it, I think. I’ll probably try to avoid the National Title Game out of spite. What night is it on? Monday? That seems like as good a time as ever to check in on my boy, The Miz and The World's Strongest Man Mizark Henry.